[voicemail for is_not_bold

[its_all_gold]

Oi, you wanker, where the devil are you? Anyway, ring me back, yeah? I've a proposition for you...it involves snow, pretty girls, and pretty girls in the snow.

Want to know more? Call me. Fast, before I change my mind about helping you find a shag, yeah? Ta.

Comments

[is_not_bold]

Oi, why do you think I need you to help me find a shag??

....Wait, don't answer that.

[its_all_gold]

Too late, shouldn't have asked: you can't talk to girls and you can't say anything remotely clever when you do. Oh, and let's not forget the bit where you're clumsy and stupid where pretty faces are concerned...and I don't mean dumb as in mute, I mean bloody stupid.

So, how about it? Aspen. You, me, a lodge full of birds...I'll be your wingman. Even treat you to a steak dinner, on me.

[is_not_bold]

Hey! It's not like you're any better, you were just lucky enough to find a girl who thought it was kind of adorable! Oi, why are we friends again??

...It'd have to be a damn good steak dinner.

[its_all_gold]

My arse, she was pining for me. Pining, I'm that good. As for us? We're friends 'cause I'm smarter than you and you're better with people than I am. Well...better if it's not female and remotely shaggable, anyway.

I promise, it will be the best money can buy. And if you've not been out on the town with at least one looker by the end of the weekend, I'll tutor you for a month of Sundays.