Sparkly Vampire AU!

[itmeans_arm]

*there's a new prince in town. there are many interesting things one could notice about him. his deathly pale skin, for one. his eyes which slowly change from butterscotch to topaz to black, for another. and then there's the part where he never goes out in the sun. oh, and did we mention that he's totally gorgeoushe is currently sitting in the

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[riotous_head]

*and what's a sparkly vampire without a plain-looking stranger with brown hair, sitting next to him--like so!--Laertes sits next to him, shuffling his literary magazine in an attempt to turn the page without letting go of his tea*

[itmeans_arm]

*if Laertes isn't paying attention, he might not even notice that Forti, with superhuman speed, turns the page for him*

[riotous_head]

*he is oblivious to many things, but not that many. glancing up; evenly* Do you mind?

[itmeans_arm]

*his nostrils flare* Mind?

[carpoftruth]

*ooh! ooh! can has freesia-scented blood and adorable mary sue clumsiness?*

[itmeans_arm]

*you mean he doesn't already? I mean- er. and Hamlet should totally be a vampire, too. if you think the world can handle the emo. ;) - Forti's eyes widen and he shifts uncomfortably when he catches Rey's scent, but he is Cooler Than Edward and so manages to not cover his nose or look like he's gonna barf*

[carpoftruth]

*well, good, because Rey has managed to trip over his own feet, spill his coffee, and knock over a table on his way to get a lid, and that is embarrassing enough*

[itmeans_arm]

*oh dear. if this continues, Rey might accidentally cut himself, and then the smell of his blood would be overwhelming. obviously, Forti must intervene! he picks up the table* Whoa there. Are you okay?

[tragedians]

*VAMPIRE!TRAGEDIANS*

*because looking like death quite suits what they do.

oh, and they're not afraid to sparkle, either.*

[itmeans_arm]

*it's cloudy today, but Forti immediately recognizes their vampiricity despite the lack of sparkle. he'll raise an eyebrow at them as they pass*

[tragedians]

*cheerful wave* Hi!

*nudges another one*

[itmeans_arm]

Hey.

[willnotbenow]

*this is pretty sweet. hamlet's been trying to think up ways to keep up the crazy act, and 'actually, the truth is, the danish royal family is an ancient family of vampires, except for my dad because vampires are sterile and otherwise he wouldn't be able to have me and keep up the masquerade; the reason why it looks like I wear too much white goth make-up and glitter lotion is because our skin is made of diamonds, diamonds that can move because of this thing called venom that isn't actually venomous except for when a vampire bites someone, but that's why you never see claudius in direct sunlight, because then he'd glitter and that's the first thing anyone thinks when they see someone glittering, oh god, he's bedazzled himself, or he must be a vampire. creepy, huh? but don't tell anyone i told you because i think the vampire police in italy, vampire capital of the world, might do something. also we have baseball.' does the trick.*

[itmeans_arm]

*typist cracks up. :D and really must start reading the rest of the books and learn about the vampire police. and apparently Forti's been out of politics so long he hasn't heard about the Danish vampires, but he'll find out soon! especially if there's baseball.*

[willnotbenow]

*this typist only knows about the vampire police through stories of (spoiler!) edward's attempt at suicide-by-vampire-cop. and hamlet has to be careful, because eventually someone's going to print what they assume to be his delusional ramblings. 'and i have a superpower! all vampires have superpowers. 'cos we weren't overpowered enough with the super-agility and the super-strength and the super-gorgeousness -- but our blood is flammable, so, y'know, there's that.'*

[itmeans_arm]

*typist has also heard the stories, but come on, such a thing must be read to be believed. ;) so, what's Hamlet's superpower? the power to talk for pages on end?*

[riotous_head]

*after his meeting with the sparkly vampire prince of Norway, Laertes has been on edge for days. and he's started running a fever. a fever that his medium-strength medical knowledge suggests is unsurvivably high.

then, one night, without warning, there is a gigantic wolf in Laertes's apartment, trying to get the deadbolt sorted.

we believe the term for this is 'furspolsion.'*

[itmeans_arm]

Typist: Win. :D Fill me in on Twilight!werewolves?

[riotous_head]

typist: ohgoodness, I don't actually know all that much. er. the ones who show up in the book are actually not werewolves per se, but rather descendants of some Native American fella who made a weird spirit-bond with a wolf so that he could (drive away all vampires?); other options for transforming include bears, and something else that I can't remember. and so, when vampires roll into town, these Native American kids who descend from Spirit-bond Guy all start running high fevers and TURNING INTO WOLVES. there's a definite genetic component, but it's not like everyone turns into wolves, so that makes me curious about Polonius. but to continue with the story--wolves tend to be hierarchical (they form packs with alphas, whom they can't really disobey) and doggedly loyal (they imprint on people whom they love for ever and always even if the person is in fact currently an infant, or even an EGG IN SOMEONE'S OVARY. werewolves in the same pack have kind of a telepathic shortwave radio going on, so they can talk and snipe at each other

[riotous_head]

typist: and. also. I decided that it was totally okay to do this because a truly striking number of Scandinavian cultures have traditions of shapechanger-myths which parallel Meyer's even more than the Quileute mythos does. see, for example, berserkers. so I have some anthropological justification for transferring the model.