(Untitled)

[istuffmypants]

Prongs who was that girl you were talking to? The one with the hair like topiary?

Comments

[ihavebigprongs]

I haven't- ... I haven't spoken to her-

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT.

[istuffmypants]

WHOA WHOA WHOA. WAIT JUST A SODDING MINUTE HERE.

Did I miss something? Like the part where you explain how it could make sense that you are his son?

James, I say we kill him. He's clearly an enemy spy. A really poorly disguised one. He doesn't even look like you, really. Apart from the hair. And nose. And face.

[ihaveweeprongs]

I'm not a spy! I'm a Gryffindor! I even know the secret handshake.

[ihavebigprongs]

THAT'S A FUNKY VERISON OF THE SECRET HANDSAKE. IT SCREAMS THE NINETIES.

I CALL YOUR BLUFF, BLUFFER.

[ihaveweeprongs]

WHAT THE- ALRIGHT SO IT'S CHANGED A BIT IN TWENTY YEARS. NOT MY FAULT. A SLYTHERIN WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A HANDSHAKE.

FINE. FINE. YOU WANT THE TRUTH? FINE. I AM ACTUALLY YOUR SON. I STOLE MY BEST FRIEND'S TIMETURNER AND YOUR BEST FRIEND'S JOURNAL IN ORDER TO COME BACK HERE AND SEE WHAT YOU WERE LIKE. WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG. YEAH.

[ihavebigprongs]

...

AHAHAHHAHAHAA YOU'RE A FUNNY FUCK
Get out of here before I deduct points.

[ihaveweeprongs]

... Huh?

[ihavebigprongs]

Listen ... Harry. What're you ... third? Forth year? Me and Sirius here have had a good laugh and hey! We like nothing better than a good sense of humour.

But you're kind of getting on my tits now.

[ihaveweeprongs]

But! Haven't you seen Star Wars!? You are my father Luke! No?

YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.

[ihavebigprongs]

Come back with the birth certificate or perhaps an older guardian who can back up this story or HEY even a best friend.

And maybe ... MAYBE I'll believe you.