"What about pointed sticks?"

[isomeme]

I am starting to plan my packing strategy for the Orlando trip (yes, I have OCD, why do you ask?), and wanted to see what the latest TSA utterly useless farcesafety regulations had to say about various items I might want to carry onto the aircraft. My favorite section concerns itself with sharp objects, wherein we find the following table:

Comments

[baal_kriah]

The shards of glass disallowance would logically have to be extended to anything made of glass which could be broken to create a sharp shard. No bottles or mirrors, please.

[isomeme]

Pardon me, did you really just attempt to apply logic to the policy dictates of a Federal agency?

[baal_kriah]

Not really. I was applying logic to your comments on the policy dictates of a Federal agency. Is that equally futile?

[isomeme]

Today, it just might be. :P This could be a new bit of slang. "Don't even try to reason with me, honey, I'm having a Federal agency day."

[tzaddi_93]

What about pointed sticks?

Try bringing knitting needles in your carryon and see what happens.

The image of you standing in the security line brandishing a spiked mace reminds me of the scene in Airplane with all the people lining up with assorted weapons to beat up the hysterical woman. It's a funny idea, but don't forget (for your own safety) that airport security personnel have their sense of humor surgically removed as a condition of employment.

[isomeme]

I thought they'd allowed knitting needles again, a couple of months ago.

I've learned to clamp down on my sense of humor around police of all forms. Amazingly enough, I worked this out before being handed any especially painful lessons. Go me. :)

[tzaddi_93]

It's always better to learn from someone else's pain if you can. :)

[frater_cug]

How about some comments from the other side? I was part of the first group of TSA screeners. (I only lasted 6 months.. shitty job)

You have to understand the American public is STUPID.

Some things I heard

Those are not knifes.. they're steak knifes
It's not "really" a firearm (About one of those old black powder pistols)
Oh, I forgot that was in there (After I pulled out a rather cool looking dagger. This person was also extremely pissed off his bags were being checked")
You're searching the Champ??????? (Muhammad Ali, but he was joking)
But it's a family heirloom (One of those tiny Swiss army knifes copies)

Oh if you tried that mace thing with me, you would probably miss your flight ;)

[isomeme]

Yeah, I'd last about five minutes in that job before I started trying to add chlorine to the gene pool. :P

And as for the mace, yeah, no doubt. One of the most difficult things for me about air travel is that it makes me nervous, and nerves make me start wanting to make situational jokes. I have to bite my tongue really hard to get through security without being shunted into the "interrogation and cavity search" line.

[selyndria]

But, but, just think of the story after being shunted!!!

You know I pay good money to be entertained by your LJ entries...

Oh wait, I have a free account, nevermind, carry on.

uh ...

[leroy484]

I wonder what "sharp" means? I mean, is there a certain angle that makes the end of a piece of something sharp? Or an edge?

Re: uh ...

[takwish]

I'm pretty sure it's a certain je ne sais quoi.