FIC: These Nights

[ishonn]

Title: These Nights
Characters: Remus/Sirius
Era: post-Hogwarts
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 759
Disclaimer: I disclaim.
A/N: I suppose I’m being a complete impatient idiot, posting at once like this instead of letting the fic lie in my drawer for a bit. But, like I said, I’m an impatient idiot. A happy one, though! My (good) excuse is that this way I

Comments

[paulamcg]

As I know you want to sort out this story, I’ll try to say something. I do like the structure and the tone. I’m not so fond of the topic of drinking, but that can’t be helped... In any case, perhaps you’d like to still consider the title. I don’t get the impression that Remus is playing a game when he ends up drinking

[ishonn]

Have I already told you what an angel you are? If not, I’m telling you now: you’re an angel! &hearts Thank you so much for the feedback

[paulamcg]

I guessed you’d efficiently edit this piece before I had time to comment again. (We had dinner at some friends’, and at night I was sick because I’d thought I needed to be polite and at least taste some of the food wih garlic in it.) I do like the title. I can’t resist saying that it looks like I’d suggested it, but I’m proud to let everyone know that I didn’t! Perhaps the original title would attract readers better, while this one is poetic and simple - straight from the text itself, part of Remus’s worded consciousness. I feel that Drinking Games causes a distance - in my view it’s an outsider’s joke, even though Remus also tries to tell himself that it’s all funny

[ishonn]

Yes, I remembered you were invited to your husband’s friends. I’m so sorry to hear you were sick; I hope you’re feeling much better now!

I’m so glad you like the title! I came up with the idea soon after posting my reply to your comment, when I was going through the text once again. Oh, you spell out the notion so precisely: yes, Drinking Games would be an outsider’s joke, you’re perfectly right.

I’m relieved that you find the coffee important - I’d be very reluctant to admit it weren’t, exactly for the reasons you mention. It’s good to hear that the sentence works fine now and that you appreciate the structure. You must be right about this moment being the climax of the story, because we expect something to happen, to change - and it doesn’t. There’s a moment of greatest tension and then comes the disappointment together with the bittersweet understanding: they do love each other, they just can’t- They just can’t.

No, the repetition wasn’t intentional. I noticed it and considered changing cheap film into corny film, but somehow