Comments | ishai_wallace: Across the Great Divide

ishai_wallace

Across the Great Divide

Jul 16, 2011 13:50

We stopped in at the Carter's outlet on Thursday. We had pajamas to return, and The Small Boy just keeps growing out of things. And I realized how sheltered I've been from mainstream shopping for childrens' clothes. We've been the grateful recipients of many hand-me-downs, we often shop on Etsy, we've been given lovely clothing, we've bought in ( Read more... )

gender, the small boy, parenting

Comments 4

pantryslut July 16 2011, 20:31:05 UTC

I would tell you that we try to dress the Small Boy in relatively gender neutral clothing. And yet, in the Carter's world that means we are picking entirely from the boy's side of the store. When all the girls clothes are pink and have bows on them, it's clothing from the boys' side that becomes gender neutral. Clothing with animals on it, clothing with bright stripes, clothing with no messaging or images at all. Which makes me wonder, if the "gender neutral" comes only from the boy's side, does that further normalize being a boy, making girlhood the exception?

This is a big reason why I chose to deliberately mix gendered clothing choices rather than aim for gender-neutral with my kids.

And also goes a long way to explaining why they're so often identified as boys.

themagdalen July 16 2011, 23:30:54 UTC

It's so ugly, the polarization. Children's clothes became this way sometime in the past, what, fifteen years, maybe? Ten ( ... )

photomonk2 July 17 2011, 15:30:16 UTC

Are you familiar with a song by Dar Williams called "When I Was a Boy"?

Speaking as someone who is a soft butch by gender, I have no interest in the girly pink side of things either. I always liked the boy clothes better. I don't know how I managed not to be completely girlified growing up because as you point out, there's a lot invested in the dichotomy. But it was never my thing and thankfully, though I am sure my parents had no understanding or awareness of those nuances, I wasn't forced that way. I wish more parents could be less invested in the enforced dichotomy.

ext_1670090 February 25 2013, 14:48:45 UTC

I am finding myself in this same position, as I seek out summer clothes (in an attempt to make warmer weather come sooner). We have a 1 year old, biological male, and I am so sick of everything "boy" and "girl".. I bought him leggings the other day, striped in neon orange, pink, blue, yellow, purple and white.. they /of course/ came from the girls section..and now I need to find shirts that can match because unless I want ruffles, bows and "daddy's cute cupcake" adorned across his chest, there are no tops available that work.. I personally am not a Pink person, or, even in non-pink, a fan of ruffles, frills, lace, rusched sleeves, or tight cuts.. I find typical "girl" clothing is so sexualized. You don't have to worry about that part as much with "boys" clothes, as long as you avoid the "hunk" sayings. But with that, you only get dark, bold clothes.... and like Stanley, I'd really like some purple. I find the gender neutral clothes that I love (check out "Love it love it love it" online), are just way too expensive. We can't afford ( ... )