Rougher-than-first draft

[inuki42]

Strange occasion - I'm actually posting something I wrote. Not just something, but fanfic. (Horrors!) And I'm posting it because it's in rougher-than-first draft and I want to know what's wrong before I try to even take it to second, or write more.

HP-verse, time of the first book.

Comments

[caribbeanblue]

I love it! Please do take it further -- I like a good OC!fic. ^_^ I'm working on my own OC!fic, about an apprentice to Trelawney (and later Hooch). Be neat if we could collaborate sometime, eh?

[inuki42]

Oooh. That would be nifty. I'm unfortunately horrible at actually finishing things - but I like editing, and I think I'm a decent idea person.

So the OCs aren't too Sue/Stu-ish? :) They all are based on real people, and hopefully I'll be able to write the real flaws into them as well as the good bits.

Yay happy feedback!

[caribbeanblue]

They're good OCs. I anticipate this will continue, as you are working from actual human models and not an idealised version of a young witch or wizard.

Would you mind taking a look at mine (well, what I have so far)? My profile on ff.n is here. It's one short parody!piece and one chapter of what I'm hoping will be an alternative version of the first book. ^_^

[unfurled]

SueDetector 2000 (tm) has rated this "Sue Free".

It's cool.

[ladykaiyu]

I don't know what anyone means by a "Sue", but it seems to be pretty good so far, well in line except for one tiny detail: I don't think Hermione knew Ron's name until after they were sorted...

Anyway, like it so far, and I look forward to seeing more!

[dmitriwillguard]

Well done. Right now, this looks more-or-less SueProof (tm)