Female INTJ Married 7 years to an INTP dated 1 year/engaged 1 year
I have a list of qualifications for a husband and he exceeded them. When we first got together a long courtship was what I needed, mainly because I was young. If I was getting married at the age I am now I think a short courtship would be possible. I understand myself and what I need in a relationship much better now.
Hm. If you're defining "fast courtship" in terms of "engagement", then you're talking about 100% environment. "Engagement" and "marriage" are both very artificial constructs, especially in the NT realm, as well as the concept of "dating".
I've been living with my boyfriend for over a decade. We are very committed but neither engaged nor married, and we don't currently have any plans to participate in the artificial construct. I don't know if we've actually been on any official "dates" ever. I have no real idea what makes a "date" or "going out" any different from "grabbing lunch" with a coworker or "playing bridge" with a few friends.
I think the only "nature" measure you can use is the physical act of sex. For us, I think it was right around six months between meeting and having sex. Or maybe kissing. I think we kissed within the month or so...? Any measure short of physical markers seems to make the question necessarily not a factor of nature.
True, but what I'm looking at is nature's (introversion, skeptical NT) influence on the environmental constructs of engagement & marriage. In that sense, would nature not have the edge? Or because the measurement(engagement) is an environmental construct, its all environment?
My bf and I will have been together 5 years in about a month. We've been talking about marriage since about 3 months, but we're too practical and wanted to get life in order financially etc first. I'm anxious, though.
One year courtship, including incredible long-distance letter-writing binges, a nine-hour phone conversation, and the exchange of hours and hours of taped "audio letters". Engaged for 3 years. Married for 6. Ten years with this man, and I love him more than ever.
I dated dozens of boys and men before I found him. He dated very little. Life is funny.
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Married 7 years to an INTP
dated 1 year/engaged 1 year
I have a list of qualifications for a husband and he exceeded them. When we first got together a long courtship was what I needed, mainly because I was young. If I was getting married at the age I am now I think a short courtship would be possible. I understand myself and what I need in a relationship much better now.
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I've been living with my boyfriend for over a decade. We are very committed but neither engaged nor married, and we don't currently have any plans to participate in the artificial construct. I don't know if we've actually been on any official "dates" ever. I have no real idea what makes a "date" or "going out" any different from "grabbing lunch" with a coworker or "playing bridge" with a few friends.
I think the only "nature" measure you can use is the physical act of sex. For us, I think it was right around six months between meeting and having sex. Or maybe kissing. I think we kissed within the month or so...? Any measure short of physical markers seems to make the question necessarily not a factor of nature.
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One year courtship, including incredible long-distance letter-writing binges, a nine-hour phone conversation, and the exchange of hours and hours of taped "audio letters".
Engaged for 3 years.
Married for 6.
Ten years with this man, and I love him more than ever.
I dated dozens of boys and men before I found him.
He dated very little.
Life is funny.
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