I know that each Type has a different method of arguing and I've noticed that when certain types argue with each other their methods of arguing seem to be especially incompatable
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i think you've hit on something key - looking for differences v. looking for similarities. personally, i think i look for whatever the other person isn't looking for - basically, i want the whole picture
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i get accused of being too 'business-like' in arguements. and it's true, i have an objective and i dont like getting off track. i always like a summary after a fight: "this is what the issue is, this is what i think, this is what you think, these are the options for solving it, and this is the one we've chosen"
it looks so good in theory, but when you're dealing with people and feelings and real life, it's not so clean.
i'm verbose.
I've had these exact thoughts more times than I care to recount. Some days, I really wish that life could be all theory and no affect. Alas, part of arguing well is understanding whom you're arguing with, and that can be quite a challenge. I think my Intuitive tendencies help me in this regard, but sometimes I try to achieve too much understanding (i.e. read too deeply into the situation) by virtue of being incredibly Judging. That's probably my biggest flaw: I seek meaning to the point of overlooking the possibility that a given thing's meaning is negligible.
1+3a) I find your description quite applicable. 3b) If I realize something like this is the case, I may vary my way of argument. But when someone is entirely incapable of seeing any differences, I rather give up arguing altogether. 2) I find that I most noticeably clash with INFJs easily. We are quite similar, except that we have wholly different ways of explaining things to ourselves, I think. Serious arguments with INFPs are quite tricky, too..
> I find that I most noticeably clash with INFJs easily.
Interesting. I seem to have problems with people who turn out to be INFPs and ENFPs. I tend to simply making non-threatening noises at those people without saying anything. I have run into an XNFJ, and we don't seem to clash that much. I don't think I know any full INFJs.
I agree with the value of learning to "mellow". Some people converse to hear noises (or something) rather than actually explore a topic, and after a certain point, it's pretty much useless to try to continue a discussion with such people. I'm still trying to figure out how to decide when a conversation as crossed that point.
When I argue, I care first and foremost about presenting the relevant facts in a logical manner. My prime directive is to ensure that I "make sense" to the other person; generally I find this to be the best way of making others see my point in those times when I need them to. Some people claim my logic is too overwhelming, so they don't like arguing with me. I find I have my best arguments with other NTs and NFs...Sensors tend to view arguing with me as either too confusing or too intimidating for their comfort
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it looks so good in theory, but when you're dealing with people and feelings and real life, it's not so clean.
i'm verbose.
I've had these exact thoughts more times than I care to recount. Some days, I really wish that life could be all theory and no affect. Alas, part of arguing well is understanding whom you're arguing with, and that can be quite a challenge. I think my Intuitive tendencies help me in this regard, but sometimes I try to achieve too much understanding (i.e. read too deeply into the situation) by virtue of being incredibly Judging. That's probably my biggest flaw: I seek meaning to the point of overlooking the possibility that a given thing's meaning is negligible.
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3b) If I realize something like this is the case, I may vary my way of argument. But when someone is entirely incapable of seeing any differences, I rather give up arguing altogether.
2) I find that I most noticeably clash with INFJs easily. We are quite similar, except that we have wholly different ways of explaining things to ourselves, I think. Serious arguments with INFPs are quite tricky, too..
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Interesting. I seem to have problems with people who turn out to be INFPs and ENFPs. I tend to simply making non-threatening noises at those people without saying anything. I have run into an XNFJ, and we don't seem to clash that much. I don't think I know any full INFJs.
I agree with the value of learning to "mellow". Some people converse to hear noises (or something) rather than actually explore a topic, and after a certain point, it's pretty much useless to try to continue a discussion with such people. I'm still trying to figure out how to decide when a conversation as crossed that point.
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