star trek: measure of a man (Year Two: Part I)
Day 361, Hour 9
“I’m just urging caution, that’s all Cadet. I don’t doubt your abilities. But there’s such a thing as too much, even for you.”
It’s been a long summer for Jim, but he still feels as though he’s only knocked a small handful of his requirements out of the way. He’s overloaded at over twenty credits for the semester, and even though he’s hoping to test out of most of these classes at midterms, Pike wasted no time in calling him up to his office. Jim likes Pike, he really does, and that’s saying a lot since the guy is a powerful authority figure. But-
“Look, I appreciate the advice-I do. But I’m getting out of here in three years, sir. If this is what I have to do, I’ll do it.”
Pike gives him a long look and doesn’t say anything, staring at him until Jim starts feeling a little uncomfortable. And that’s saying a lot, because Pike is probably the only adult who has that kind of control over him. Hell, he’s the only adult in this Academy whom he calls sir and means it.
But he has something to prove. He has to do this.
Finally Pike sighs. “All right Cadet, I can see that your mind’s made up. But at least promise me that you’ll seek out help if you need it. Because you will, trust me.”
Jim stands, nodding. “Thank you, sir. But I can handle it. Trust me.”
Day 363, Hour 13
He’s in class all the time.
Literally.
It’s even worse than last year, because now he’s trying to care. He wants to make a good impression, wants people to know him for his work and not his last name. He blames Bones. The man’s work ethic must be starting to rub off on him, even though he’s been so busy he hasn’t even been able to see the man yet.
Damn, if it’s already starting to get to him after only the second day, he’s in for a rough year. Not like he’d admit that to anyone, of course, because he won’t need any help to do this.
But fuck, things were easier when he didn’t care.
Day 365, Hour 24
He figures out what Bones’s schedule is at Medical and uses his first bit of free time of the semester to head over to visit, trying to suppress the doubt that’s struggling to take over his brain. It’s been an entire two and a half months since he’s seen Bones, and their only conversation lasted all of two seconds. He’s still learning about this friendship thing, because he’s honestly not used to people wanting to stick around him this long. There’ve been periods where they haven’t spoken outside of the summer, and he’s tried to push him away, but, for whatever reason, Bones continued hanging around.
What if, over their time apart, Bones wised up and decided life really was easier without him?
Shit, he sounds like a whiny girl. But this is why he tries to drive people away when he senses something more permanent, whether or not it’s a girl or a purely platonic friendship. In his experience, attachment only leads to disappointment because people have only let him down. And if they haven’t yet, it’s only a matter of time. Besides, it’s not as if Bones has tried to see him yet. Maybe he’s wasting his time and should back out now while he still has his dignity in tact.
He’s outside Medical now, his earlier excitement gone when he realizes that his attempts at suppression have failed miserably. The vulnerability is too close to the surface, leaving him uncertain if he’ll be able to hide it with his usual easygoing superficiality.
Fucking fuck.
He abruptly turns on his heel and leaves, angry that he let his own thoughts defeat him. At least he can count on the alcohol to always be there for him.
Day 370, Hour 3
They already have an exam in Advanced Anatomy.
Jim’s taking the class because when he gets to be captain of a starship-and he will, there’s no doubt about it-he wants to know everything about everything, and that includes all this medical crap. If he’s on an away team and there’s no doctor, or the doctor is injured, he wants to know how the body works so he can understand the CMO without wasting time having him break everything down. He wants to be able to diagnose an injury and be able to treat it himself if he has to.
So their first task is to learn all the bones and muscles in the human body and Jim knows it’s not just mindless memorization but that’s certainly what it feels like. There’s no problem solving here, no concepts. He might have a photographic memory, but all this Latin starts sounding the same to him after awhile and he’s having a hard time figuring out how to make it stick without having to depend solely on memory.
He’s thinks he’s actually going to have to study this shit.
Fuck.
Day 375, Hour 12
Jim’s eating a quick lunch by himself in the cafeteria when Bones finds him.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were avoiding me.”
Damn the man’s perception to hell.
Instead, Jim plasters on a grin that hurts his face and says, “Good to see you too, man.”
“Sorry I didn’t come to find you sooner,” Bones says then, taking the empty seat across from him without even asking. “I’ve barely had even ten minutes to myself since the semester started.”
It might be an excuse, but the intensions are sincere, and Jim wishes he hadn’t let his doubts get the better of him. He should have trusted Bones, and he wishes that still weren’t so fucking hard.
At least the smile doesn’t hurt anymore. He accepts the apology by asking, “How was your summer?”
Bones shrugs. “The work was good, but I had no life. I was barely home for even more than a few hours at a time to sleep.”
“It’s not like you have much of a life when you’re here, either,” Jim chuckles. “I don’t want to know what you’d be like without me.”
Bones rolls his eyes. “I’d at least go out to the bars.”
“No you wouldn’t, you’d get drunk in your room. By yourself.”
“So what if I would?”
“Oh come on, I’m not judging you. All I’m saying is you don’t have to hide the truth from me.”
Bones shakes his head, finally chuckling. “All right, you caught me. How was your summer, asshole?”
Jim’s not quite sure how to answer that at first.
Honestly, it was a fucking awful summer.
Jim had no friends, was in class all the time and got back into the habit of going out to the bars every night because he had nothing better to do. But Bones doesn’t have to know the details.
So he smiles. “School in the summer is so much fun. You should try it some time.”
“Okay, I get it. It sucked.”
They share a laugh.
And just like that, things are okay again. At least for now.
Day 380, Hour 15
Jim isn’t used to studying. At most, he might glance down at information for five seconds right before class, but damn, the human body just has so many fucking little bones and muscles. And they still all sound the same.
He knows it’s the Latin that’s stumping him.
If he knew how to pronounce the words, he would have no problems with the memorization. He’s used to grasping concepts quickly, and he knows he’s good at identifying problems and solving them but this is a whole other kind of studying. It’s ridiculous, really. Why does he need to know the name of the bone if he can see where the injury is and knows how to treat it?
But there’s going to be a goddamned test on this crap, and there’s no way in hell he’s going to fail something this trivial in the first couple weeks of class.
Day 384, Hour 15
It’s not until a few days later when Jim finally gets the balls to ask Bones for help. He knows the man is going to give him a hard time, but he thinks he probably deserves it for being such an idiot.
Bones is in his second home, the library, and actually looks surprised when Jim comes to the table with his anatomy textbook.
“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you holding a book outside of class.”
Bastard.
“Even geniuses have to study sometimes,” Jim retorts, and because he just thought of it and can’t believe hasn’t brought it up sooner adds, “Speaking of studying, when do you have to retake your flight prelim?”
Bones shudders. “Ideally, by the end of this semester. But at the rate I’m going, I’ll consider it a success if I can stay in the damned shuttle for more than five minutes without running out like a little girl.”
Jim props up his chin with his hands, thinking.
“I’m not sure I’ve seen that expression on your face before,” Bones comments, smirking.
“You’ve never seen my thoughtful face?”
“I don’t know why you sound so surprised.”
“Whatever, man. The idea I’m concocting is going to change your life.”
“Somehow I don’t find that very comforting.”
Jim grins. “Oh, you wait. You’ll be thanking me later.
Bones just snorts.
Day 390, Hour 23
After a stroke of brilliance (though he secretly wonders how the hell it took him so long to come up with this idea), Jim comms Bones to let him know he expects him to be in his room, and heads on over, carrying two six packs of Bud Light.
Gesturing to the booze, Bones demands gruffly, “What the hell is this all about? I would say it’s a Wednesday night but I’m not sure that makes much difference to you, does it?”
Grinning, Jim says, “Cheer up, Bones. I’m here to help you pass your flight prelim.”
“By getting me drunk off my ass?” Bones snorts. “And how are you proposing we do this without getting caught?”
“We sneak around the hangar late at night. It’s deserted then, anyway. And besides, apparently that’s the only way you’ll even step on a shuttle without hyperventilating, though even I could hear you giving that woman a hard time,” Jim comments, keeping his grin though Bones is glaring at him now. “We can do this one step at a time, with you less and less drunk, until you won’t even need the alcohol. And then the test will be a piece of cake.”
There’s silence as Bones considers the idea. Finally he shrugs. “Well, nothing else has worked, and if I can’t pass this damn test it really won’t matter how good of a doctor I am.” Bones takes a bottle and pops it open with his thumb. “Why the hell not?”
Jim’s grin only widens.
Day 395, Hour 10
Jim stayed up late with Bones in the shuttle and was so excited to see his idea working (Bones was even able to operate some of the controls) that he forgot about his anatomy exam.
He put in an hour of studying after getting back to the dorm, and fell asleep just as Bones was leaving for his early bird shift at Medical.
Waking up with a jolt, he realizes he never heard his alarm at the same time he realizes he forgot to set it.
And now-
Class is over.
He collapses back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands.
Oh, fuuuuuuuuuck.
Day 400, Hour 20
The professor isn’t going to let him make up the test.
“I’m sorry Cadet Kirk,” Doctor McGreevy said, “It simply wouldn’t be fair to everyone who was here to take the test.”
Well, whatever.
He knows it’s still possible to pass the class. There will be at least two more exams before the year is out, and he’s just going to have to ace both of them.
Day 408, Hour 3
Jim can’t sleep.
He woke up after an especially bad nightmare, and just spent the last hour tossing and turning. He passes a hand over his eyes, drained. He considers seeing if Bones is awake, but decides he’s not really in the mood for company.
Rolling over onto his stomach, he puts his pillow over his head in an effort to block out his roommate’s loud snoring.
Fuck, it’s going to be a long night.
Day 415, Hour 13
Of course as soon as one terrible thing happens, he has to fuck something else up because the universe loves raining on his parade too goddamned much. He was doing well in everything else too, especially Group Simulations.
Until today.
The first mission that Jim manages to screw up is a diplomatic one. It’s almost funny, really, because nothing was supposed to go wrong. All they had to do was negotiate a stupid treaty, and he was just an Ensign.
But he swore he saw someone on the opposite party making eye contact with invisible enemy forces around them and go for a gun, that they were about to walk into a trap.
So Jim took charge without even thinking or consulting anyone in his own party and whipped out his own gun. Everything rapidly dissolved after that, and in the end he wasn’t even right.
The Admiral in charge reams him out afterwards for not trusting that the First Officer knew what was going on, but Jim stands his ground, because if he had been right, he would’ve been the only one paying attention.
It doesn’t make a difference, and when he gets a failing mark he knows he’s in trouble.
Day 420, Hour 15
Apparently Pike continues to follow his every move, because a few days later he calls Jim in for a meeting. Jim’s already gotten one lecture about his botched simulation and really doesn’t want another, but it’s Pike, so he’ll just have to take it.
As always, Pike gets right to the point. “I’m sure you’ve already been made aware of this, but I just wanted to stress the importance of teamwork. I know you’re on the track for command, but as Captain you won’t always be a member of the away mission team. In fact, most times you’ll stay behind on the ship, unless a rival ship hails you and demands your presence for negotiations.”
Jim is aware of that, but it’s always been hard for him to stand by and do nothing. He acknowledges that it maybe wasn’t his place, that he fucked things up, but he would still do them again if thought it the right thing to do.
But Pike isn’t done. “Just because you can do everything doesn’t mean you should. Part of being Captain is having a crew you can count on, because they’ll pick up on it if you don’t trust them to do anything without you,” Pike says, while Jim continues to stare fiercely down at his lap. “If you can’t do that, maybe you should reconsider your career track.”
“I can trust people,” Jim mutters, but it’s mainly out of defiance.
“Really,” Pike states, and the doubt in his voice only annoys Jim more. “Name one.”
“Doctor McCoy,” Jim says quickly.
Pike nods. “Okay, one. Name another.”
This time Jim’s not so fast. Grudgingly he offers, “You.”
But Pike’s not satisfied. “Another.”
And Jim’s silent, because there isn’t anyone else.
Everyone in his life who he was supposed to trust either left him, didn’t know how to be there, or was there but in the wrong ways. He doesn’t know how to make close friends because he’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for people to realize that he’s too much of a fucking mess to know how to have a healthy relationship, that he’ll ruin them too if they hang around him for too long. Bones is an anomaly, but that happened more out of chance and coincidence than anything else, and Jim might trust him more than anyone he’s met before but he’s still unsure if he could just put his life in his hands. Hell, he can’t even talk to Bones about Frank.
“The ability to trust people is required of every Starfleet Captain, as I’m sure you’re aware,” Pike informs tersely, standing. “I’d recommend considering this more seriously on your own time.”
The feeling won’t last long, but in that moment Jim really, really hates him.
Day 421, Hour 3
“He said I can’t fucking trust people,” Jim grumbles, so drunk the words are already starting to slur. “What the hell does fucking Pike know, anyway? I know how to trust people.”
Bones is lying down on his bed while Jim sprawls on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his back. When he doesn’t immediately answer, Jim sits up, the alcohol in his system making him angrier than he might have been had he been sober.
“What, you agree with him?”
Glaring back, Bones says, “I didn’t say that, did I?”
“No, you didn’t say anything, which says enough.”
“You didn’t give me time to say anything in the first place, and you didn’t even ask me a question.”
Jim hears how dumb this sounds, but he can’t stop himself. “So now I’m asking you. You think I can’t trust people? What the fuck do you know about me, anyway?”
“Jim, you’re drunk.”
“So what, you think I don’t know what I’m saying? I know what I’m saying, and I can see the way you’re avoiding the question. Well, fuck you, too.”
Jim gets up and stalks out of the room, aware of Bones calling after him but he ignores him anyway. Somehow this conversation got out of his control, and leaving is the only way he knows how to deal with it.
Day 422, Hour 20
Bones finds him the next day in the library.
Jim’s by himself in a far corner, not really paying attention to the book he’s reading when Bones says gruffly, “You really are an idiot sometimes, you know that?” When Jim doesn’t immediately respond, Bones continues, “I thought you were just ranting, okay? I figured you were going to keep talking. And we were both drunk, for Christ’s sake!”
Jim sighs and puts the book aside. “God, I don’t know Bones, all right? Sometimes things just come out-it’s like, word vomit.” He shakes his head, quirking his lips self-deprecatingly. “Besides, you said it yourself. I’m an idiot.”
It’s Bones’s turn to exhale, and he sits down heavily in the chair across from him. “Do you really want to know what I think?”
“You’re not about to psychoanalyze me, are you?” Jim asks, eyeing him warily.
Ignoring him, Bones continues, totally serious, “I think you’ll make a great captain. You’re a natural leader.” He pauses, probably waiting for some kind of reaction, but Jim didn’t expect him to take this angle and he doesn’t quite know how to respond. “I just think you need to-mature a little. Learn how to open up to people.”
Jim knows Bones is right, because he can feel his defenses going up even now. He knows he’s only proving the man right too, but he’s not used to people listening to him, to people caring about him, to people actually wanting him to open up. His mom would try to get him to talk as a kid, but he always thought it was more out of guilt than real concern.
He sighs, slouching back in his chair. “I know you’re right.” Bones arches an eyebrow. “I do, okay? It’s just-sometimes I really don’t know how. And I want this so badly it would suck not to get it because of this.”
“If I can pass my flight prelim, I’m pretty sure you can do this too.”
“Maybe, except this is one problem I can’t solve with alcohol.”
Bones snorts. “You can always practice with me, kid. It’s the least I can do.”
“I’m not sure, man. You are a psychologist.”
Jim’s not really that skeptical, but his one experience with psychologists in the past was terrible, and even if Bones was just a minor it’s enough. His mom tried to make him see one shrink when he got back from Tarsus IV and it was awful, because the guy was so patronizing that Jim started skipping out on the session after the first couple. Fuck, but his mom was pissed when she found out she was wasting her money on him.
“Well, I’m your friend too, aren’t I?” Bones huffs.
Jim grins. “Fortunately for you, man.”
“I think you’re the only one with that perspective.”
They exchange barbs until Bones’s shift at Medical, and if the man picks up on the fact that he never directly answered the offer, he decides not to call him out on it.
Day 467, Hour 15
This time, Bones only needs to be a little drunk instead of very drunk to get in the shuttle. He’s not at the point where he can fly it yet, but he can stay in there for a considerable amount of time.
Jim really wasn’t sure if this plan of his was going to work, but for Bones’s sake he’s definitely glad it seems to be.
Day 473, Hour 20
When Jim finally confesses to Bones that he slept through the Anatomy exam, his reaction is totally predictable, and Jim leans back in his chair while Bones laughs at him.
“I’m sorry,” Bones manages, shaking his head, “it’s just too good.”
“So I slept through a test, big deal,” Jim says, waving a hand, “it can happen to anyone. It might even happen to you one day.”
Bones snorts. “I doubt it.”
“Whatever. Professor’s not letting me retake the test, but I’ve still gotta learn this material. And for some stupid reason, I’m having a hard time memorizing all these bones and muscles.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Bones asks, “Is that your way of asking for my help?”
“Yes,” Jim says. Asking for help is something else he has to work on.
Bones leans forward suddenly and Jim can practically see the light bulb go on. “So when you came to me in the library a few weeks ago with that anatomy textbook, and you suddenly started talking about helping me pass my flight prelim, you were really there to ask for help then too, weren’t you?”
Shit, Bones remembered that?
“Yes,” Jim says again, shrugging. “So I got sidetracked.”
Bones takes Jim’s textbook from him and opens it up. “Well, this time, I’ll make sure you won’t.”
And Bones is true to his word.
Day 478, Hour 3
There’s another mission coming up, and this one’s different because it’ll take them to another location, and they’ll be away from the Academy for about a week.
It’s a group mission, and Jim sees it as an opportunity to start proving Pike wrong.
He’s just got to.
Day 483, Hour 8
Jim doesn’t really know anyone on his team for the second mission, but he has to show Pike he’s capable of depending on others. There are five of them, including Jim: Gareth, Jon, Ben, and Maeve.
“This mission is about survival and teamwork,” Admiral Barnett explains as they line up by the helicopter. “The helicopter will drop all five of you off at different locations. You have a week to find your team and make it to the pick up destination, marked on the maps we’ve given you. Your rations will last half that time if they’re used wisely, so you’ll have to get creative. Beware of enemy fire, animals, and even plant life. You all have tracking devices, so if something happens and you can’t make it back, we’ll be able to find you. Good luck.”
Jim looks around at the group, trying to figure everyone out based on first impression alone. He knows he could make it to the destination easily by himself and just wait there, but he does understand that he has to learn how to work with the strengths and weaknesses of a team.
He can do this.
He will do this.
Day 484, Hour Unknown
Jim doesn’t know what time it is, but he does know it’s dark.
All he’s aware of is undergrowth and it’s very hard to see anything else. When he hears a rustling nearby, he thinks first that he’s found somebody already. Then clouds part and the unexpected bit of moonlight outlines a body that is most definitely not another human being.
It is-
Jim’s eyes widen when he makes it out.
A fucking wild boar?
Jim swallows the curse and starts taking some steps back. Maybe if he’s quiet enough, he can get out of this. And then, with perfect timing, he steps on a twig. It sounds almost deafening and Jim winces, waiting only a few seconds as the animal turns his head towards him before starting to run. The animal follows him, and Jim pushes the fear down as he urges his body to go faster, focusing on his breathing.
What he doesn’t count on is the cliff.
It catches him so off guard that he doesn’t even have time to stop his momentum, and it takes him right over the edge.
And it’s a long way down.
To make matters worse, he feels his left leg slam into a large, jagged boulder somewhere, and fuck, it hurts. Branches whip passed his face, and somehow he manages to grab hold of a thicker one before he hits the bottom and just hangs there for a few seconds, catching his breath.
It might be a long way down, but it’ll be an even longer way back up.
Because he’s alone, Jim allows the groan. This is going to be fucking miserable. But at least it got rid of the boar.
Day 485, Hour Unknown
The thought wasn’t an exaggeration.
It takes hours to get to the top, so long that the sun is already up.
He pulls himself to the top of the cliff, panting hard, and takes a look at his leg, wincing at the damage. The rocks edges were so sharp they tore straight through his pants, and the skin is ripped and bloody. The climbing definitely didn’t help and now the injury burns, the pain only increasing every half hour, but he can’t do a single damn thing about it except bind the wound. He supposes that’s better than nothing, but it’s nowhere near enough.
The worst of it is all the fucking supplies he lost as he fell. At least he knows he can survive days without food, and he can be creative, but he still has to find the team and in his current condition, it’ll be twice as hard to do that. To top it all off, he’s exhausted, but can’t afford to waste precious time sleeping so he forces himself to keep moving.
Well, fuck.
Life’s a bitch.
Day 486, Hour Unknown
Gareth finds him first, and he’s in a much better state than Jim.
“You look like shit, man,” Gareth says, taking in Jim’s bloody leg and haggard appearance. “What the hell happened?”
“Cliff,” Jim replies succinctly because fuck, he’s tired, thirsty, and the hunger’s getting harder to ignore. “And I lost my fucking supplies.”
Gareth holds up his pack. “I’ve still got some. Want a bite?”
Jim eyes the rations, noting that there’s not even really enough for two more days for one person, let alone two. And he knows that he can hold out if he has to. So he shakes his head. “Nah, I’m fine.”
“If you say so,” Gareth says, and though he doesn’t look entirely convinced, he doesn’t ask again.
They continue walking, Jim pushing them forward until the sun goes down, when Gareth finally stops, turning to face him. Jim’s lagging behind, and the stop is so unexpected he almost just falls forward.
“Look at you,” Gareth says, motioning at him with a hand, “we’re taking a break. I’m not injured, so I’ll take first watch. You’re sleeping, got it?”
For once, Jim’s too tired to argue. He nods agreement, his body taking the decision out of his hands. He doesn’t even have time to think about whether or not he trusts Gareth to have his back before his eyes close.
And he’s out like a rock.
Day 487, Hour Unknown
“Jim. Jim, wake up. Come on, Jim, we’ve gotta get moving.”
Someone’s shaking him, and he senses that waking up is important, but his entire body just feels so heavy and he feels almost feverish. Pushing his eyes open is a struggle but somehow he manages. Gareth is bending over him, eyes tight with worry.
“Fuck,” Jim breathes, rubbing a hand over his face as he gets himself to a sitting position. As awareness returns, he realizes the sun’s already up. “How long was I out?”
“All night,” Gareth admits, “you looked like you needed it. Here, have some water. And a ration bar.”
Jim takes a few sips from Gareth’s canteen, and breaks off a small piece from the bar before passing the rest back. “Take it. This is all I need.”
Then Jim tries to get up, and he makes it only a few steps before he actually falls, flat on his face. He should be worried, and he is, but he also finds something oddly funny about it all. Someone clearly agrees too, because he hears hysterical laughter in the background. Then he realizes the sound’s coming from him.
Shit. Gareth’s eyebrows are pulled together in worry, understandably so, as he checks out Jim’s leg, while Jim pulls himself together.
Get a grip you fucking idiot.
“Fuck,” Gareth mutters as he looks down at it, “your leg is fucking infected.”
Jim rolls his eyes. “Of course it is.” Bones is going to fucking kill him. At least he’s sobered up now. Looking over at Gareth, he swallows his pride and says, “I’m only going to slow you down. Leave me here, find the rest of the team. At least that way I’ll be the only one to fail.”
But Gareth shakes his head, pulling Jim to his feet and taking half his weight. “Forget it. We’re in this together, you dumbass.”
Day 488, Hour Unknown
They find Maeve and Jon next, who look equally exhausted and have some scratches, but otherwise appear not to have any serious injuries. Jim has to tell the cliff story again, and Maeve shakes her head.
“A wild boar. Of all the shitty things.”
Jim snorts. “Yeah, you’re telling me.”
“At least we can pool our resources together,” Jon says brightly, “we have two ration bars left.”
“So do we,” Gareth says, holding theirs up and adding it to the pile. “At least that makes one left for each of us.”
Jim shakes his head. “We can share mine. I don’t need that much.”
Gareth stares at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve barely had anything to eat since you found me, and you lost your pack over the cliff!”
“I’m not that hungry.”
“You’re crazy, man,” Gareth says, as Jim takes his map.
Maeve sighs. “We can figure out food later then. Let’s try to find Ben.”
“We haven’t been to this area yet,” Jim points to the spot on the map, the planning distracting him from his stomach, “so we could head in that direction. Depending on how quickly we find him, we should make it to the pick up point with time to spare.”
Jon grins. “Let’s do this.”
Jim grins back, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the throbbing in his leg. There’s nothing for it. He’s just going to have to.
Day 489, Hour Unknown
When they finally find Ben, he’s even almost in worse shape than Jim, with a phaser wound on his left arm.
“At least you got yours from a legitimate source,” Jim says in attempt for levity, sheer adrenaline the only reason he’s still on his feet and able to string a sentence of that length together. “I got mine falling down a fucking cliff while running from a fucking boar.”
Ben guffaws. “That’s a story for the books, man.”
Jim laughs, because even right now he can see the humor in this. And that makes feel a little better.
Day 490, Hour Unknown
Somehow they all make it to the destination, just in time for the helicopter to pick them up. It’s only Jim’s pride that prevents him from actually collapsing into his seat.
He wants a shower, five huge meals, and sleep for a week.
But he’ll probably end up at the bar first.
Day 496, Hour 15
Predictably, Pike wants to see him. He understands why the guy keeps such close tabs on him, he does, but damn, it’s annoying sometimes. Jim feels as if he can’t even fucking breathe without Pike finding out about it.
“I just want you to know that I do notice improvement,” Pike opens as Jim takes a seat, “and want to commend you on a job well done.”
“Thank you, sir.” Jim knows that’s not all, though. He can see the but all over Pike’s face.
“However, I can’t help but wonder how much of that was just you trying to prove me wrong. I appreciate the effort, but that shouldn’t be your main motivator.”
Damnit. Jim really wishes the man didn’t know him so well sometimes.
“I’m still worried,” Pike continues, “and you should be, too.”
Jim has to force down an arrogant comment, and bites out instead, “I’ll work on it, sir.”
Day 510, Hour 6
He takes his mind off his own problems by spending most of the following nights in the flight hangar with Bones, and by the end of the week they’re down to one six-pack.
Jim knows distractions aren’t solutions.
But they definitely make him feel better.
Year One: Part III | Year Two: Part II
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