Guess who's back in town? = Entry 28
Anybody awake out there? It's Smoke and I'm looking at my bar, rather upset by how much damage the fire did. Guess I'm going up to Temp to raid an empty room. I don't need a beautiful cot or anything, but it'd be nice to have a pillow & blanket. Starting tomorrow I'll be fixing the place up by hand, just like how I built it
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My house is located at [instructions go here] in Section 3.
-Aurora
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[After jotting down a reply, Aurora headed for the kitchen, keeping his journal open to see Smoke's reply and trying to decide what he would make. Something balanced, of course, or as close as he can manage with the food ration; who knows when Smoke last ate something proper.]
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[Of course he did get lost a little bit. He's never spent a lot of time inside these buildings before. But eventually he got there.]
[raps on the door]
Hei hei, it's Smoke.
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Smoke, come in. You're earlier than I anticipated; dinner is ready but it's still too hot to eat. Make yourself comfortable.
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[He's never been here before, so he looks around for a bit, then leans against a counter or table wherever Aurora's standing]
This is my first time here.
[Pause]
Right?
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It is your first time. I moved here shortly after I had returned; if Brother had not joined my family, I would have petitioned for the home I original had in Section 2. [He turns off the stove, where a simple stew has been kept warm; nothing more than broth and precisely cut pork, tomatoes, kale, and white beans.]
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[He shakes his head]
Look, uh... You need help with anything? Least I can do.
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You can help by taking your seat and relaxing. I'm not going to invite you over just to put you to work. [He gave Smoke a soft glare, indicating that he better do as requested, before spooning the stew into two bowls, and filling a third bowl with leftover cooked pork.] If you want to ask questions, that's fine, as well.
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[With a bit of a grumble, he sat down in the nearest chair at the table] It's not so much that I don't understand what happened... [he put his head on his forehead and groaned] It's like... It just pisses me off.
... Sorry.
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["Any way I could get some beer with this?" The dog asks hopefully, laughing at the shocked look it gets as an answer. "OK, I take that as a 'no.' Worth a try."]
Smoke, I'm going to permit foul language this one time. Considering the situation, I think it can be overlooked. [He brought out his own bowl, seating himself primly across from Smoke.]
Which part makes you angry?
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But it's the whole losing my memories thing. I... never thought it'd happen to me. I mean, I'm still not sure exactly who Ghost is, but the fact that I can't remember him pisses me off. It sounded like he remembered me. I feel terrible about it.
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So you've spoken with him? Didn't he mention that he didn't remember you, either? I wonder if it's because of your bond that your memories of each other were taken.
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I got a chance to chat with him on my way here. He sounded like it was a hard thing to talk about, and I didn't wanna push it. I figured he'd tell me if he felt like it.
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[softly, mostly to himself] Why is it that I care more about the people here in Edensphere more than people I knew before all this memory-loss bullshit? Is it because of my name?
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And you aren't bothered by this? He did seem reluctant to speak to you about it after he heard you didn't remember, but you have a right to know, don't you?
[He frowns, his voice surprisingly insistent, almost commanding.] No, you're mistaken. The bonds are still there, even if you don't remember them. You two, the bond you shared made you happy. You smiled a lot because of it. For that reason, you shouldn't be giving up on it just because of a minor setback. Isn't our whole purpose here focused on recovering what we lost?
Until then, you can't really say you feel closer to the people who are here now or the people you were with before. There's no frame of reference to compare them, and the experiences you've had as Smoke make your judgment biased.
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A bond isn't one-sided tho. Even if I figure out what we were to each other, if he doesn't remember and doesn't want to, what then?
Actually there was one time, awhile back. Were you here? I don't know. But when the Wilderness turned into that... city I think? Lots of rock and dreary stuff compared to all the green here.
I met two of my old buddies, then. They told me my real name and we chatted for awhile. But when it came down to it... I chose to stay here. I chose to keep using Smoke as my name, because hell if I know what Gojyo was like. Hakkai and Goku made me feel like shit because Hakkai's best friend was Gojyo. But how can I say he's my best friend, or I'm his best friend, if I didn't even know who he was? Even knew my freaking birthday...
I wanted to help people, help them remember and help them get out. But so far all of that's blown up in my face. You're telling me that Ghost made me smile, and I've forgotten him, but I can remember all of the people that I hate. Goddess that's not cool at all.
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But even though I say that.. It's hypocritical to think this, but I'm glad you stayed. You have helped a lot of people, and at the very least you have helped me. Being in this sort of social environment is hard, and you've taken the time to explain things I don't understand. It's becoming bearable because I have friends. [He paused, glancing to the dog to see if he was saying the right things. The dog looked back and wagged its tail, which Aurora took as a positive sign.]
The only thing's that blown up is your bar, and that can be fixed. Everything can be fixed. Ghost is present, and you are present, so it's not hopeless. Unless.. [And for the first time, the thought occurs to him.] You honestly think he wouldn't want to? Or that you wouldn't want to? [But that can't be right, ( ... )
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