long story less long... why do I do the things I do

[insomniel]

This is very boring introspection, unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but if you do read this, then...

THANK YOU

Comments

[insomniel]

Thanks, it means a lot to me that you understand.

I don't know how things will change, honestly. But I'm going to make a visible effort to do what I mean to do, I owe that much to my brother and my friends. And myself, of course.

[binaryprecision]

I'm so glad you're able to talk to your brother about such things. He may not be a completely objective audience (having lived through many of your same circumstances) but it sounds like he's enough of a sounding board for you to get a different perspective on things.

I also tend to be very negative about many things. I blame it on my family: it's one of my father's least favorite traits about himself and his mother, and I picked up much more of it than my sister did. I'm considering making a concerted effort to change my attitude in this area of my life not that there will be small children around (my sister and Danny's sister will both have babies this year) but I'm not quite sure where to start. I'm not depressed, I just complain a lot. LOL. I haven't figured it out yet.

I won't lie, I LOLed at the fart.

*hugs*

[insomniel]

Yeah, my brother sometimes has more common sense than me, and I know he only wants the best for me. He's a good brother most of the time. If only he would fart less and wash dishes more.

I understand, it can be so hard to be positive if you've been negative for years. For me, it's become a defining part of my personality, and I'm like, I don't want people to know me as Negative Nelly, not really. I am not sure how I can achieve my goal of being less negative, I think my current objective is to keeping my complaints offline and look at it over at the end of the day and saying to myself, is this worth complaining about? And if it is, can I channel it in a less hysterical and unstable manner? We'll see how far that goes before I give up, lol.

[abarero]

*hugs*

It's good to sit down and talk things out like this. Also, acknowledging you have a negativity problem is half the battle. I know I've felt better once I honestly tried to be more positive in my day-to-day life. Even just a little more positive and a little less negative can make a world of difference. As you said, you won't know if you don't try. So here's wishing you the best of luck on trying. :)

[insomniel]

Thanks for the hugs. To be honest, I don't know if I'll be any more positive, that's just not my personality. Right now I'm trying to be less openly negative, less hysterical. Baby steps. But I'll do my best.

[binaryprecision]

OMG Your icon makes me want Boba Tea. I haven't found a good place near home that serves it. :(

[insomniel]

Hey, you can try Fruitealicious in Carrollton, on Josey between Jackson and Beltline. It's got a variety of flavors to try, at the least, although it's not exactly near Lewisville.

[insomniel]

Thanks for your input. I've made improvements actually, but I still see myself as the victim sometimes, and it's so hard to break out of the self-pity cycle. I've always felt like this, even before the stress and near-perfection demanded of a future pharmacist, and it's only gotten worse

[chaos_prodigy]

I'm glad you have your brother to speak to in person, since unfortunately a lot of us are unable to do that for you.

I know you're putting in everything you have already, and it will be very difficult for you. But as you have said yourself and what I believe as well, you're smart and you have willpower. I know you can do it. :)

[insomniel]

I hope I can work through this. I've made some plans, and having plans helps a little already. And I think it's okay to complain a little bit, just not too much.