Yay! America!
There's spoilers. You've been warned. Big fat spoilers.
*smooch!*
The Fortune of War
Y'all last left Our Boys on board another man's ship cracking, if not wise, at least vaguely clever. This is a lovely ship. A ship back to England! A ship Home! Yay!
So of course it catches on fire, and Jack and Stephen and Bonden and Killick and the rest of the Leopards end up in a very crowded lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic. Stephen is sad about losing his entire collection, but is cheered by the knowledge that his wombats are safe in South Africa, where they had stopped off to deliver news, and hear that ENGLAND AND AMERICA ARE AT WAR!
But first, the lifeboat situation is dire. There's no food, no water, and no sail, because the purser on Other Captain's Boat sold them all to disreputable folks in South Africa. Bastard. So Our Boys make a sail out of their shirts (shirtless! woohoo!), and suffer debilitating sunburns as a result (ew. gross.). Also they starve, and dehydrate, but only one of them dies (meh. Not anyone we care about), and they are rescued by a ship! A British ship, even!
That is soon destroyed by an American ship. It's an awesome frikkin' battle; Jack's right arm is shattered, Bonden gets a narsty splinter to the head and manages not to die, random wee midshipman #3 that looks up to Jack as a father is rocketed over the side by a 24 pound cannonball, and everyone is captured by the Americans. Except for random wee midshipman #3 who is super-dead.
They are all taken to Boston, and Jack's arm isn't doing so well. Also, he has caught pnuemonia. Stephen wangles with the Americans, who aren't bad guys, really, to get Jack set up in a nice hospital. It's a great place. There's just all these crazy people running about because it's also an asylum. One of Jack's new closest friends is the Emperor of Mexico. They play cards.
One day, on the mend, Jack is writing to Sophie when more crazy people come to visit him.
Jack: Hey crazy people.
Guy #1: You were captain of the Leopard?
Jack: Yup. Want to be my first lieutenant?
Guy #2: No, he don't.
Guy #1: No, I don't.
Guy #3: Did you ever blow up an American ship?
Jack: Not on purpose.
Guy #1: What's that mean?
Jack: Well, if I'm firing my cannons and a ship's in the way, how am I to stop it's blowing up?
Guy #2: Did you blow up the *ship who's name I forget. Amelia B. Something? Long name.*?
Jack: Sure did. Then I sailed her to the moon.
Guy #1: You're crazy.
Jack: So are you. Now please leave me alone to write my letter. Thanks!
Guy #1: But you did blow up the ship?
Jack: Sure. Whatever. Go away.
Of course, these guys weren't crazies. They were government types trying to pin something on Jack to keep him in America. Once Stephen lets Jack know this, Jack gets all subterfugy. His windows overlook the harbor, so he watches the ships with his telescope. Oh! He knows so many juicy tidbits about the American Navy!
British Messenger: Hello, Capt. Aubrey. I'm here about your potential exchange.
Jack: Hoorah! Let me tell you everything I know about the American Navy!
BM: Um. I don't think that's necessary. I just have some missives for you and the Doctor.
Jack: No, no! This is important stuff! *rattles on and on and on about the navy*
BM: Thanks! Gotta run! *bolts for Canada, perhaps farther*
Stephen: Who was that?
Jack: Oh, a messenger from Halifax. I told him all about my observations from this window! Aren't I clever?
Stephen: How do you know he was actually British?
Jack: He said he was.
Stephen: Well, he brought us letters, so it must be true, but Jack, you have to stop talking about espionage. The Americans already think you're a spy.
Jack: They do? Oh goody! Now, I'll write down some observations I forgot to tell that nice young man and-
Stephen: NO! Jack, don't write anything down.
Jack: But I could come up with a code! I have a decoder ring!
Stephen: No. Stop talking to people, don't write anything, stop observing the harbor, in fact, stop doing anything that isn't eating or sleeping. You'll get us both killed.
Jack: But!
Stephen: No. You are a crappy spy.
Jack: But you *do* agree that I *am* a spy?
Stephen: *sigh, headache*
*smooch!*
The Fortune of War
Y'all last left Our Boys on board another man's ship cracking, if not wise, at least vaguely clever. This is a lovely ship. A ship back to England! A ship Home! Yay!
So of course it catches on fire, and Jack and Stephen and Bonden and Killick and the rest of the Leopards end up in a very crowded lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic. Stephen is sad about losing his entire collection, but is cheered by the knowledge that his wombats are safe in South Africa, where they had stopped off to deliver news, and hear that ENGLAND AND AMERICA ARE AT WAR!
But first, the lifeboat situation is dire. There's no food, no water, and no sail, because the purser on Other Captain's Boat sold them all to disreputable folks in South Africa. Bastard. So Our Boys make a sail out of their shirts (shirtless! woohoo!), and suffer debilitating sunburns as a result (ew. gross.). Also they starve, and dehydrate, but only one of them dies (meh. Not anyone we care about), and they are rescued by a ship! A British ship, even!
That is soon destroyed by an American ship. It's an awesome frikkin' battle; Jack's right arm is shattered, Bonden gets a narsty splinter to the head and manages not to die, random wee midshipman #3 that looks up to Jack as a father is rocketed over the side by a 24 pound cannonball, and everyone is captured by the Americans. Except for random wee midshipman #3 who is super-dead.
They are all taken to Boston, and Jack's arm isn't doing so well. Also, he has caught pnuemonia. Stephen wangles with the Americans, who aren't bad guys, really, to get Jack set up in a nice hospital. It's a great place. There's just all these crazy people running about because it's also an asylum. One of Jack's new closest friends is the Emperor of Mexico. They play cards.
One day, on the mend, Jack is writing to Sophie when more crazy people come to visit him.
Jack: Hey crazy people.
Guy #1: You were captain of the Leopard?
Jack: Yup. Want to be my first lieutenant?
Guy #2: No, he don't.
Guy #1: No, I don't.
Guy #3: Did you ever blow up an American ship?
Jack: Not on purpose.
Guy #1: What's that mean?
Jack: Well, if I'm firing my cannons and a ship's in the way, how am I to stop it's blowing up?
Guy #2: Did you blow up the *ship who's name I forget. Amelia B. Something? Long name.*?
Jack: Sure did. Then I sailed her to the moon.
Guy #1: You're crazy.
Jack: So are you. Now please leave me alone to write my letter. Thanks!
Guy #1: But you did blow up the ship?
Jack: Sure. Whatever. Go away.
Of course, these guys weren't crazies. They were government types trying to pin something on Jack to keep him in America. Once Stephen lets Jack know this, Jack gets all subterfugy. His windows overlook the harbor, so he watches the ships with his telescope. Oh! He knows so many juicy tidbits about the American Navy!
British Messenger: Hello, Capt. Aubrey. I'm here about your potential exchange.
Jack: Hoorah! Let me tell you everything I know about the American Navy!
BM: Um. I don't think that's necessary. I just have some missives for you and the Doctor.
Jack: No, no! This is important stuff! *rattles on and on and on about the navy*
BM: Thanks! Gotta run! *bolts for Canada, perhaps farther*
Stephen: Who was that?
Jack: Oh, a messenger from Halifax. I told him all about my observations from this window! Aren't I clever?
Stephen: How do you know he was actually British?
Jack: He said he was.
Stephen: Well, he brought us letters, so it must be true, but Jack, you have to stop talking about espionage. The Americans already think you're a spy.
Jack: They do? Oh goody! Now, I'll write down some observations I forgot to tell that nice young man and-
Stephen: NO! Jack, don't write anything down.
Jack: But I could come up with a code! I have a decoder ring!
Stephen: No. Stop talking to people, don't write anything, stop observing the harbor, in fact, stop doing anything that isn't eating or sleeping. You'll get us both killed.
Jack: But!
Stephen: No. You are a crappy spy.
Jack: But you *do* agree that I *am* a spy?
Stephen: *sigh, headache*