All This Time [1/5]
Title: All This Time [1/5]
Pairings/Characters: Quinn/Puck, Rachel/Quinn, Rachel/Quinn/Puck friendship, implied Puck/Original Character
Mentions past: Rachel/Finn, Rachel/Puck, Quinn/Others, Puck/Others
Other Minor Characters: Russell & Judy Fabray, Rebekah Fabray Puckerman, New Directions, Rachel's dads - Stan & Alex Berry, other charactersRating: R
Length: ~6,400/ ~30,000 (subject to change)
Summary: AU Quinn Fabray comes to Lima, Ohio and enrolls at McKinley as a seventeen year old senior. She quickly befriends and falls in love with Rachel Berry but Quinn's deepest secret, shared with none other than Noah "Puck" Puckerman, has made her life almost impossible to live and she knows that she and Rachel can never be. However, when Rachel accidentally stumbles upon said secret it turns Quinn's life on its head and she finds herself breaking her own rules of survival to be by Rachel's side.
Warnings: Minor drug use, scenes involving war and bodily harm, character death.
Author's Note #1: I hit a brick wall with this so many times I can't even count them. But I persevered, thanks in part to the encouragement of madndizzee who is my constant poker and motivates me to get shit done. Title stolen from All This Time by OneRepublic.
Author's Note #2: This story moves very, very quickly. It's very fast paced and there is a lot of stuff crammed into each part. Most of it is me hating to write filler. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-Part I-
August 2011
Lima, Ohio
Another new year, another new high school. Quinn Fabray was enrolled as a seventeen year old high school senior, as per normal. She was a few days behind all of the other students but she’d had other things to do before she started school again. She straightened out her The Who t-shirt and smoothed out her worn out jeans and smiled at her once white Chuck Taylors that she had decorated and colored. She went through the routine of going to the guidance counselor’s office and getting her schedule and her locker combination. Each high school was always the same. The social hierarchy was the same. The teachers were the same. The students were the same.
Quinn walked through the crowded hallway to her locker and spun the dial to get it open. The lock stuck and she growled and tried again and again.
“That one always sticks,” a voice said. “I had it last year.”
Quinn snapped her head to the right to find the source of the voice and she stepped back. A short brunette wearing a raincoat and holding a pink binder and a few notebooks was staring up at her with a smile.
“Rachel Berry,” the girl said. “President of McKinley High’s glee club and resident slushie target.”
Rachel Berry shifted her books to one arm and stuck out her hand and Quinn took it.
“Quinn Fabray,” she said with a smile as she winced a little at Rachel’s firm grip. “New student.”
“I gathered. If you hold my books for a moment I can unlock your locker.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Quinn took the books from the short brunette and Rachel put in the combination and jerked the locker open. The door rattled and Quinn smiled and handed the brunette’s books back to her. The smile she received in return could’ve rivaled stadium lights.
“So, Quinn Fabray, as president of the glee club I am extending an offer to you to audition if you’re interested. Can you sing?”
Quinn shrugged. “Yeah.”
“What about dance? Do you have any dance training?”
“Yeah, I’ve been a cheerleader if that helps any.”
“Oh…” Rachel’s smile dropped from her face. “I suppose you’ll be joining the Cheerios then.”
“Cheerios?” Quinn stuffed her backpack into her locker and pulled out a few notebooks before shutting it again.
“The cheerleading squad. If you let it be known you were a cheerleader and you have dance training then the odds that Coach Sylvester will recruit you are quite high.”
“I’m guessing they’re more of a dance team than an actual cheerleading squad?”
Rachel nodded.
“Then I have no interest. Cheerleading used to be about being encouraging. If I wanted to dance like a whore then I’d go find a strip club.”
Quinn almost cursed herself for saying too much but there was a flicker of an oblivious smile on Rachel’s face. “Glee club meets this afternoon at three-thirty.”
“I guess I’ll give it a shot.”
“Wonderful! What’s your first class?”
Quinn pulled her schedule out of her pocket. “Spanish with Schuester.”
“Mr. Schuester is our glee club adviser! Although he is determined to destroy my career as a future Broadway star, he is a fairly good Spanish teacher. I would offer to walk you but there’s a chance that I’ll receive a slushie facial on the way and I wouldn’t want to subject you to that on your first day.”
“A slushie what?”
“The jocks go to the 7-11 down the street and purchase large cups of slushie, cherry, blue raspberry, or grape, and toss it on students such as myself who they believe are beneath them.”
Quinn had been to several different high schools in several different places and each one had their signature torture methods. Some would put dead mice in people’s lockers, others were famous for swirlies, others were fond of running kids up the flagpole. A slushie facial, though? That was new.
“That’s…creative.” Quinn started walking; Rachel followed along and continued talking, obviously forgetting that she had every intention of protecting the blonde.
“I’m a favorite target now that my ex-boyfriend has decided he’s a scared little boy and values his reputation over letting his friends know that we’re an item.”
“Sounds kind of like an ass.”
“Finn? I suppose. He’s simply influenced by peer pressure. It's for the best. I need someone who can keep up with me intellectually and vocally and isn’t afraid to admit who they are. Also, as a senior I need someone that is going to be willing to support my budding career in New York City and I’m not sure he’s up to the task.”
Quinn saw him coming before Rachel did. A large jock with a large cup. Rachel gasped just as the boy reared back to toss the large cup of blue slush. Quinn rolled her eyes and simply snatched the cup out of the jock’s hand before he could lurch forward.
“Thanks,” she said with a smile. She handed the slushie to Rachel and leaned in to the bulky young man. “I’m new around here,” she said with a scowl, “and I don’t take shit from anyone and I’m not afraid of you. At all. I don’t get mad, I get even. So why don’t you and your tiny brain run along and go to basic math, okay?”
The jock (whose jacket said ‘Karofsky’) opened and closed his mouth a few times. Quinn smirked and took Rachel’s arm and led her down the hallway.
“Quinn, I’m not sure you understand how things work…”
“No, I do understand. I probably understand better than you. You stand up to them and you keep standing up to them and they’ll back down when they get that you can’t be broken. Don’t let them walk all over you.”
Rachel nodded again and looked at the slushie in her hands. “What do I do with this?”
Quinn shrugged. “Drink it or toss it.”
“I’m not really a fan of blue raspberry. Not to mention these drinks are loaded with empty calories which aren’t conducive to a properly balanced and nutritional diet.”
Quinn gestured to a nearby trashcan and Rachel dropped the slushie into it and led the way to Mr. Schuester’s classroom. Quinn noticed the girl walking with a little extra bounce in her step after the almost-attack and rescue and with a little more brightness in her eyes as she looked up at her. Quinn blushed a little and nudged the short brunette who responded with a giggle. The blonde was relieved to have made a connection that quickly, it always made the high school experience a little easier.
Once in the classroom Rachel took the seat next to Quinn at one of the desks and displayed her Spanish book in between the pair. Quinn glanced over the open pages and at the notebook Rachel also displayed, the page filled even in the margins.
“I probably won’t need it,” Quinn said. “I’m fluent.”
“Why are you taking it?”
“Same reason I’m taking any other class. It’s something to do. French and German were full; I’m fluent in those, too. And Italian…and a little Dutch, enough to get by.”
Rachel blinked. “You’re joking.”
“Nope. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.”
“¡Hola clase!” the young teacher came in with his briefcase.
“Hola, Señor Schuester!” Rachel answered with enthusiasm. Quinn smiled.
Even though it was an advanced level Spanish class, Rachel was still unable to roll her “r’s”, Quinn noticed. The brunette took fantastic notes but when it came to verbalizing, unlike English, her Spanish needed work.
“I’m tutoring you,” Quinn said when class finished. “Seriously, you’re smart and you can write it all day but you suck at speaking it.”
“Mr. Schuester said I’ve gotten better…” Rachel grabbed her books and the pair was headed to the door when Mr. Schuester stopped them.
“Rachel, can I see you for a second?” Mr. Schuester pulled the brunette to the front of the class. Quinn followed.
“I know, Mr. Schue, I need to work on verbalizing.”
“Some people just can’t pick it up, it’s fine,” he said. “I wanted to see if you had any new ideas for glee club.”
“Mr. Schuester, I have an entire catalog of songs I believe would be appropriate. This is Quinn Fabray, by the way!” Rachel grabbed onto Quinn’s arm and pulled her forward. “I think I’ve convinced her to audition for glee club.”
“Fantastic! Nice to meet you, Quinn.”
“Mucho gusto, Señor Schuester,” Quinn said with a smile.
“Muy bueno, Quinn. How long have you been speaking Spanish?”
Quinn smirked. “A while.”
“Well, I would very much like it if you did join glee club, Quinn.”
“I’ve also offered to tutor Rachel in her spoken Spanish.”
“Wonderful! Let me write you guys some passes so you’re not late to your next class, okay?”
Quinn smiled and nodded. Her next class was AP European history, Rachel’s was chemistry. Quinn sat in the back of the classroom and pulled a gold ball about the size of a quarter out of her pocket and tossed it at the ceiling. She didn’t listen to a word the old man teacher said until she was called on.
“Ms. Fabray! Tell us about Hitler’s invasion of Poland.”
“September first through October sixth, 1939,” Quinn said, still tossing the ball in the air. “It was the first major action of World War II. There were over sixty-six thousand Polish killed, over one-hundred-thirty thousand wounded, and almost seven-hundred thousand captured. There were several German-staged incidents that made it look like the Germans were acting in self defense. The first act of regular war was at four-forty in the morning on the town of Wieluń by the German Luftwaffe. Almost thirteen hundred were killed, most of them civilians.” Quinn caught the ball one last time and looked up at the teacher who looked almost furious. “Do you want me to continue or do you want to teach the lesson?”
“Very good, Ms. Fabray,” the teacher growled. He went on with his lesson and Quinn started tossing the ball again.
In AP Calculus she completed the work the teacher asked of her, in AP Chemistry she filled out the formulas and tossed her ball some more while the teacher rambled on about balancing equations. Quinn met Rachel in the cafeteria for lunch and went through the line with the girl who curled her nose at almost everything that was offered. Another thing about all high schools, they all had the same thing in the cafeteria. Quinn grabbed a burger and fries and a can of Diet Coke and joined Rachel and her salad at a table with a few other kids.
“Quinn, these are some of the other glee clubbers.” Rachel pointed to each person around the table and Quinn nodded at each one. “Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie.”
“Nice to meet you guys.”
“So how good are you?” Mercedes asked. “Rachel told us you could sing.”
“I guess I’m okay. I’ve never done glee club before.”
It was true. Out of all of the activities at all the high schools Quinn had been at she’d actually never done choir. She’d done band, cheerleading, dance team, color guard, drama, and every single academic club anyone could think of. She’d done it all. They didn’t need to know that, though. She cracked open her can of soda and arched an eyebrow at Rachel picking off all of the cheese on her salad.
“Look, Quinn,” Mercedes said, “we’re glad to get a new member and whatever but I’ve been at this for three years and I still can’t get a good solo,” the girl scowled while looking at Rachel, “so don’t come up all in here tryin’ to knock me down.”
Quinn actually had to laugh at that. Rachel sighed and continued picking the offending cheese off of the bed of lettuce.
“Whatever,” Quinn said, “I don’t care about your solos and I’m just looking for something to do. And you don’t have to be a bitch, just so you know.”
Mercedes squeaked and Rachel grinned.
Quinn’s next class was AP Literature where they were reading War & Peace she sighed and asked the teacher if she could test out of the unit. The woman arched her eyebrow at her and Quinn started reciting the plot in vivid detail, the teacher’s jaw remained slightly open until Quinn finished.
“If there’s another book you’d like to read, Ms. Fabray…”
Quinn shrugged and pulled the ball out of her pocket and tossed it in the air. “Not really. I’ve probably read everything on your list.”
“Why are you in this class, Ms. Fabray?”
Quinn smiled. “Something to pass the time.”
After literature was home economics, Rachel met Quinn at the door and literally bounced to their work station. The teacher handed out the assignment, Rachel eagerly grabbed up the recipe and started scrambling around the kitchen grabbing ingredients for pancakes. Quinn groaned when the brunette looked confused at the bowls of salt and sugar she had set out. She knew this was going to be a disaster. Her hunch was right when Rachel then proceeded to somehow manage to set their stove on fire.
“Rachel!” Quinn squealed when she pulled the fire extinguisher from the wall and sprayed the stove. “Who the hell taught you to put the stove on high for pancakes?!”
“My family is fully committed to take out! We don’t cook!”
“Obviously!”
By the time the fire was contained both Rachel and Quinn were covered in pancake batter, fire extinguishing foam, and the teacher was simply shaking her head. Quinn guessed that Rachel setting things on fire wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence in the classroom. They cleaned up their station and went to the locker rooms to shower, Rachel brought her emergency bag with extra clothes and offered Quinn shorts and a t-shirt and the blonde smiled.
“Thanks,” Quinn said. “I’m teaching you how to cook, by the way.”
“How do you plan on tutoring me in Spanish, cooking, and keeping up with AP classes?”
“The AP classes are going to be the easy part.”
Quinn stripped her jeans off and her gold ball fell out of the pocket and rolled to Rachel’s feet. The brunette bent down to pick it up. Quinn shrieked.
“No! Don’t touch that!”
Rachel jumped back and Quinn snatched up the ball and tucked it in with her clothes, ensuring it wasn’t going anywhere.
“Sorry,” the blonde mumbled. “It’s just…really important. Family heirloom. I shouldn’t carry it with me but I’m just afraid it’ll fall into the wrong hands or something.”
“It’s very interesting.”
“Yeah, you could say that.” Quinn stripped off her shirt and tossed it onto the pile of her jeans. Rachel’s jaw dropped a little. “Oh…sorry,” Quinn grabbed her shirt and covered her front. “Sorry if that made you uncomfortable or whatever. I’m just used to it.”
“No it’s just…you’ve got quite a few scars…and the tattoo. And…well I can’t deny that your figure…you’re rather attractive.”
Quinn tossed her shirt back on her jeans. “I guess,” she shrugged. She grabbed a towel from one of the shelves and followed the brunette to the showers. Rachel stepped into the first stall, Quinn into the second.
“Do you mind me asking…about them?” Rachel said over the running water. “About the scars?”
Quinn chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe me.”
“Tell me about the one on the left side of your ribcage.”
Quinn looked down and ran her fingers over the large scar marring her skin. “Like I said,” Quinn sighed, “you wouldn’t believe me.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
December 7, 1941
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
“Gloria, I’m going for a run,” Quinn said. “Back later.”
Gloria, Quinn’s roommate, groaned incoherently and rolled over in her bed signaling she didn’t really care. Quinn just laughed, stretched and pulled her hair up in a bun and headed out the door of their small on-base cabin. She ran along the beach and passed a few soldiers out on their morning jogs, she smiled flirtatiously at them and they all turned to watch her run by. Quinn stopped in the harbor like she always did and looked out at the ships resting peacefully in the water. The sunlight was shimmering off the ocean and the harbor was stirring a little with soldiers getting ready for their day’s work. Hawaii was one of her favorite places she’d been, especially for work. It was peaceful and calm and absolutely beautiful.
Quinn caught her breath and turned to go back to her house when she heard it. She heard the low buzz and looked back out onto the harbor and she saw them. Dozens of planes heading right toward the harbor. Right toward her.
“Oh God…” she gasped. She turned to run but only made it a few steps before all hell broke loose. The first explosion almost knocked her out. Her head was buzzing and her ears were ringing when she looked up from where she’d landed on the ground. She got up to start running again when the planes started passing overhead. There were more explosions and shrapnel flying and Quinn turned back to look at the harbor. What she saw absolutely horrified her.
The peaceful ships were no longer peaceful. There was smoke and fire everywhere. The roar of the planes was joined by roar of the soldiers. Quinn cried out after another explosion when something hit her ribcage and she looked down to see a piece of metal sticking out of her shirt. She groaned at the dull pain and pulled the metal out and tossed it on the ground.
“Nurse!” one of the soldiers ran up to her and she covered the tear in her shirt. “Go get the others! Get to the hospital!”
Quinn nodded and took off running. The pain in her ribcage started subsiding. By the time she got to the hospital with the rest of the nurses in tow it was nothing but a scar.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“Quinn! How long are you going to be in there?” Rachel called.
Quinn blinked a few times and looked around. “Sorry, be out in a second.” She rinsed the pancake batter from her hair and shut off the water. She grabbed a towel and stepped out of her shower stall with it wrapped around her chest.
“So you’re not going to tell me anything?”
“I might someday,” Quinn said with a smile.
“Well at least tell me something about yourself!”
Quinn shrugged. “My parents disowned me when I got pregnant at sixteen. I live alone.”
“Oh.”
“Too much?”
Quinn turned around, back to Rachel, and dropped her towel down around her waist and grabbed her bra.
“No,” Rachel said. “I was just expecting something along the lines of your favorite color. Perhaps your favorite musical group.”
“Oh…blue. And The Beatles.”
“It’s a very interesting tattoo you have.”
“It’s for my daughter,” Quinn blurted out. She hooked her bra and grabbed her underwear and slipped them on under the towel. She dropped the towel and reached for the shorts Rachel had given her.
“You gave her up for adoption?”
Quinn pulled the shorts on and looked down at the small script “R” with 7211861 encircling it over her heart. “She died. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m so sorry, Quinn.”
There was a hand on her bare shoulder and Quinn jumped a little bit. The blonde turned around quickly and Rachel’s eyes dropped to the tattoo on her chest and then back up.
“You’re very different.”
Quinn smiled. “You have no idea.”
“I’d like to find out. You’re very intriguing. Do you mind me asking where you’re living?”
“I’ve got a place,” Quinn said. She shrugged away and grabbed Rachel’s t-shirt. She looked down at the logo when it was smoothed over her body. “Wicked?”
“Yes, have you heard of it?”
“I’ve seen it. Idina was amazing.”
Rachel gasped. “You saw…the original?”
Quinn smiled. “Yeah.”
“I demand that you come to my house this evening and recall every single moment!”
“Uh…that depends on the food situation.”
“Take-out. It’s Thai night.”
“Deal. And I’m going to teach you to roll your “r’s”.”
Quinn caught the last half hour of her last class, health, before glee club practice. Rachel met her outside the choir room door and showed her inside. Aside from the glee clubbers she met at lunch there were two cheerleaders and three big guys she assumed were jocks sitting up on the risers.
“Quinn, this is the rest of the glee club. There’s Santana and Brittany,” Rachel pointed to the two cheerleaders. “And Mike, Matt, and…Finn.”
Finn’s head dropped at the mention of his name and he scratched the back of his neck.
“That’s the jackass that dumped you because he thinks he’s better than you, right?” Quinn said loud enough to cause everyone in the room to look at her.
Rachel turned bright red.
“I’m not impressed,” Quinn said with a shrug.
Finn furrowed his eyebrows and growled.
“Does anyone know where Noah is?” Rachel asked. There was a collective murmured no. Rachel shrugged and pulled Quinn to a seat.
“Who’s Noah?” The familiar name filled Quinn’s mouth like cotton.
“He moved here a few years ago,” Rachel said. “He’s known for being quite the womanizer.” Rachel blushed and looked down at her sheet music. “What will you sing for your audition piece? Although anyone who auditions makes it, Mr. Schuester insists upon auditions to assess your vocal abilities.”
Quinn shrugged. “I’ll think of something.”
Rachel was right, Mr. Schuester demanded that Quinn audition in front of the rest of the glee club members. The blonde shrugged and dropped to the piano bench and thought for a second before smiling and finding the right key. She launched into a slow acoustic version of “I Want to Hold Your Hand” (which she still insisted that she originated when she was playing in a hotel lobby for tips and that damn movie cover totally ripped her off). She glanced up at Rachel and grinned a little.
Quinn’s concentration was broken by the door to the choir room opening and when she saw who was standing in it she completely froze.
“Puck?” she squeaked.
“Quinn…”
“You two know each other?” Mr. Schuster asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“Excuse me for a moment.” Quinn stood and stormed toward the door, she grabbed Puck’s forearm and dragged him back out the way he came. “What the hell are you doing here?!”
“I should ask you the same damn question! I’ve been here for three years, where the hell have you been?”
“None of your business!”
“So what now?”
“What now? You leave, that’s what!” Quinn growled.
“Me? I was here first!”
“You hate school.”
“Yeah well, a lot of shit has happened since the last time I was in one so I figured I should catch up and plus, there is so much tail here. Chicks are so much more willing to give it up than they used to be.”
“You’re disgusting. Look…we just tell everyone we went to school together before you moved from…where were you?”
“Records say Iowa.”
“Fine. We went to school together in Iowa.”
“Works for me. Anyone know anything already?”
“Rachel already knows about her but not that she was yours. But obviously no one knows about us. So keep your trap shut.”
“Got it.”
Quinn took a deep breath and opened the door to the choir room. The loud buzz of voices immediately went silent when she and Puck stepped back into the room.
“Sorry. Just catching up,” Quinn said with a smile. “Mr. Schuester would you like me to finish?”
“No, Quinn, that’s fine. You did good, very good!”
Quinn shrugged and dropped down next to Rachel, Puck went up to the top of the risers and sat next to Finn. Quinn could feel his eyes lingering on her and she scooted a little closer to Rachel.
Rachel’s house was nice. Very nice. The living room was about the size of the filthy apartment she’d found to live in. Rachel gave her a grand tour and put Quinn’s clothes in the laundry to get out the dried pancake batter. The brunette led her up the stairs and to her room, it smelled like strawberries. Quinn immediately dropped to the bed and motioned for Rachel to sit in front of her.
“Rolling your ‘r’s isn’t that hard,” Quinn said. “It’s all in the tongue.”
“I’ve been trying for four years. It’s not happening.”
“You need to relax. If you focus on it then you won’t do it. Think about something else and try it.”
Rachel took a deep breath. She tried. Quinn sighed when she failed miserably.
“You’re not relaxing!”
“Quinn, when I’m told to relax it only furthers the tension due to the fact that I’m focusing too much on relaxing.”
“What relaxes you?”
“Singing,” Rachel answered matter-of-factly.
“No it doesn’t. You’re too passionate about that, it’s in your eyes. Something else.”
Rachel blinked a few times. “I’m not sure.”
“We’ll find something.”
Rachel nodded. Quinn pulled out her homework and started filling in equations and writing summaries and pointing at mistakes Rachel made on her trigonometry homework. Quinn met Rachel’s two dads and vaguely answered questions about her past over dinner. Each question pushed her further and further to lie and her brain was digging up things she didn’t want to think about. Ever.
-*-*-*-*-*-
July 1853
Savannah, Georgia
Quinn ran through the cotton fields where her Daddy’s “workers” (as he called them; Quinn had heard others call them ‘slaves’ and other names her mother said she ought not to repeat) were tending the plants and the foreman was yelling. Quinn had just turned ten and she was supposed to be inside with her mother and her sister sewing or drinking tea or something other than running through the plants and saying hello to the workers but those things weren’t fun.
“Hi!” she squealed as she ran by each man.
“Good day to you, Little Miss Quinn,” each one said with a smile.
Quinn ran until she hit the edge of the forest. She never dared go in but she always longed to. Her father said she wasn’t allowed because of the wild animals so she just watched for a few minutes then turned back to the fields and started running again.
When Quinn tired herself out from running through the fields she would make her way back to the house, a very large house that she loved more than anything because it was home. Her Daddy greeted her on the big front porch and she jumped into his arms.
“Where have you been my little Quinnie?”
“Playing,” she said with a smile. “Playing in the fields!”
“Your mother has been worried. You should go in and get cleaned up. I think there might be a tray of cookies in the kitchen if you’re good.”
Quinn gasped and scrambled out of her father’s arms to go upstairs to her bedroom where Hazel was straightening up the sheets on her bed. The dark-skinned woman helped Quinn wash and change into a new dress and sent her on her way to the kitchen. With a sugar cookie in hand she bounced into the parlor and was scolded by her mother and made to read out of the family Bible for half an hour. She got through it and her mother nodded approvingly and handed her a few quilt patches for her to start stitching.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“Quinn?”
Quinn’s mind snapped back to the present when she heard her name.
“Quinn, Daddy asked how old you are.”
Rachel gestured to her dark-skinned father, Alex, and he smiled.
Quinn bit her tongue to keep from blurting out her immediate response.
“Seventeen,” she said with a smile.
The man smiled. “What kinds of things do you do? Any hobbies?”
Quinn shrugged. “A little of everything. Apparently right now it’s glee club.”
“Daddy is into genealogy,” Rachel said. “He can trace anyone’s family history.”
Alex nodded. “What do you know about your history?”
“Uh…not much. I know the family has been here a while; at least a few generations before the civil war.”
“Fabray is an Irish name,” he said. “If you’re ever interested I could help you find out more.”
“Thank you,” Quinn said with a smile that masked her panic. “But I’m not really that interested. I’m not close with my family.”
Alex smiled and nodded.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn found herself at Rachel’s almost every evening for dinner. Alex and Rachel’s other dad, Stan, became accustomed to setting out a fourth plate. Quinn didn’t object. It was one less thing she had to pay for. The money she’d been saving was running out and she knew she had to save whatever she could.
She got closer and closer to Rachel and she noticed Puck watching her more and more. She avoided him and the questions at all cost. He especially watched her when she would be enamored with the gold ball she kept with her. She would always smirk at him and toss it in the air once more just to watch him wince. August turned into September, Quinn barely noticed. She didn’t pay attention to days or weeks or months anymore. All she could pay attention to now was Rachel.
The brunette still couldn’t roll her “r’s” but the blonde had been successful in teaching Rachel how to cook. Granted, she’d assisted her greatly for each meal the brunette cooked but nothing had been set on fire and everything was edible. Rachel’s dads sincerely offered for Quinn to move in with them several times but each time the blonde politely thanked and denied them.
Rachel was burying herself further into Quinn’s heart. It was good because Quinn was very ready for someone to be with but at the same time, she knew she’d have to break Rachel’s heart eventually and she’d grown rather fond of the girl. Rachel would throw flirty glances and touches and Quinn heard through the grapevine that she’d turned down Finn’s recent attempts at re-sparking their relationship.
September turned into October and Rachel insisted Quinn join her for a Halloween horror movie marathon. Quinn accepted despite the fact that she knew Rachel was easily startled and any kind of horror movie wasn’t going to be a good idea for the brunette to watch.
Quinn’s prediction was right, Rachel ended up halfway on top of the blonde during Scream. Quinn didn’t complain, she just wrapped her arms around the brunette’s shoulders. Rachel stayed where she was and buried her face into Quinn’s neck for the rest of the movie.
“I think we should watch something a little more fluffy,” Quinn said when the movie ended. “You’ll have nightmares if we keep this up.”
“I-I will not! We should watch Friday the 13th.”
“Rachel, seriously? You got nightmares from Goosebumps.”
“I was ten! And I told you that with the promise that you’d never make fun of me for it!”
Quinn gave a playful smile and hugged Rachel closer to her and the brunette let out a content sigh. She nuzzled Quinn’s neck and the blonde’s breath hitched in her throat when Rachel’s lips grazed the pale skin and her tongue darted out to taste.
“Rachel…”
Rachel pulled back quickly and scrambled away from Quinn. She clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at them. “I’m sorry,” the brunette mumbled.
“Don’t be. I just didn’t know…your dads are upstairs.”
“Quinn, my dads are gay. I’m fairly certain they won’t mind if they find me kissing a girl.”
Quinn gave a soft smile before gently cupping Rachel’s face and drawing her in. The brunette moved back closer to Quinn and wrapped one hand around the back of her neck and settled the other on her hip. Quinn made the first move and gently brushed her lips against Rachel’s and she sucked in the sigh that escaped the girl’s lips. She pressed a simple kiss to Rachel’s lips and felt all tension leave Rachel’s body.
Quinn had kissed a lot of people in her life and each one had always felt a little different than the last. Boys and girls were obviously different from each other and each boy was different from the rest as was each girl. There was one boy she’d kissed that made her heart want to burst out of her chest and she had most definitely been in love with him. She’d loved him with her whole heart once. And when she felt it again when Rachel pressed her lips more firmly against her own and she felt a tongue touch her lips, Quinn panicked. She pulled back and Rachel whimpered and looked up at her, rejection plaguing her eyes.
“Quinn?”
“I…”
“Quinn, are you…I’m sorry, I should’ve asked…”
“No…it’s not you.”
Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. “Did you not enjoy it?”
Quinn took a deep breath. “I did like it. I…I like you. I like you a lot, Rachel and that’s the problem.”
“Well why would that be a problem? I see no issue.”
“C-college,” Quinn sputtered. “We’re seniors, we’re going off to college.” The excuse she always used when she played the role of high school student. Only this time it was less elegant than it usually was.
“So? Not until the summer. Assuming all goes well in the course of our relationship we could attend the same university or at least live in the same area.”
Quinn had heard that argument several times. Each time she was able to convince the other party that they were wrong and it wouldn’t work out. This time…this time she couldn’t.
“Yeah…you’re right. You’re totally right.” Quinn smiled. “Where were we?”
Rachel’s fingers trailed up and the blonde shivered a little when the soft pads of Rachel’s fingertips ran over a long scar on her shoulder. Rachel’s fingers sparked sensations on Quinn’s skin that tore her away from the present and sent her to places far away in both time and location.
-*-*-*-*-*-
November 21, 1916
On board the HMHS Britannic
Quinn had been in London when the First World War was declared. Weighing her options of getting the hell out or doing just as she had done several years previously she finally decided on the latter. She immediately sought out a small nursing school and it didn’t take much to get enrolled since she was excellent at knowing her way around the formal paperwork. The field of medicine had changed drastically, she noticed. Still, she passed through her courses with flying colors because of what little still-useful background knowledge she had. Immediately after she passed she offered her services to the Royal Military. She was put on board the newly requisitioned ship HMHS Britannic, sister ship to the still famous RMS Titanic.
She was certain that this could be the safest job to have in the war, simply transporting wounded military men back to Britain from mainland Europe. They were free of patients at the moment and were heading to Lemnos. Quinn and a friend she had made, Violet, were making their rounds on the ship to change bed sheets and tidy up the rooms for the patients they would be picking up. Violet was telling Quinn of her voyage on Titanic and they’d just moved to folding down the sheets on another bed when the ship lurched, sending both women to the floor.
Orders were shouted to get everyone to the main deck and start loading lifeboats. After assuring Violet that she would be okay, Quinn took to darting through the corridors to check for anyone that might not have heard. Once assured that all of the rooms were clear, Quinn hurried up to the main deck and was ushered into a lifeboat. She immediately found Violet, the woman was in somewhat of a trance. Quinn wrapped an arm around her as their boat was lowered.
Quinn heard the shrieks from the rear of the ship and mistakenly turned her head to find the source. The propellers of the ship had risen out of the water and the lifeboat that had been lowered right before hers collided with the still spinning propellers. And theirs was following. Quinn watched the boat get dashed to bits and pieces of wood and metal came hurdling toward them. A piece of metal flew by and sliced open her shoulder. Quinn shrieked and immediately grabbed onto the deep wound. The occupants of her boat started panicking. Violet snapped out of her trance and before Quinn could stop her, the woman jumped overboard. Quinn followed.
The water was salty and it stung her eyes and burned the fast closing wound but she willed herself to keep her eyes open as she searched for Violet. The woman was kicking to try and get to the surface but her head collided with the keel of the ship. Quinn tried to swim to her but felt herself being pulled away by the currents of the propeller. She swam hard against them until the suction stopped and exhausted, she let herself float to the surface of the water. She was pulled out and put into a lifeboat.
“Violet,” she murmured to the steward. “Violet…”
The steward seemed to understand as he peered over the edge of the boat. A stewardess wrapped Quinn in a blanket and the blonde trembled with the cold. She watched two men pull Violet into the boat and bundle her in blankets and Quinn sighed and gripped tightly to the now scar on her shoulder.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn ran her hand up Rachel’s side and let herself fall a little deeper into the emotion flooding her body. She could work on moving on later. And Rachel was a really good kisser, so that was a plus. Quinn had gone through the motions of relationships and breakups several times, Rachel couldn’t be any different. Like all the others in her life, it would have its season and then it would have to end. She was just putting it off a little, she assured herself.
Part II
Pairings/Characters: Quinn/Puck, Rachel/Quinn, Rachel/Quinn/Puck friendship, implied Puck/Original Character
Mentions past: Rachel/Finn, Rachel/Puck, Quinn/Others, Puck/Others
Other Minor Characters: Russell & Judy Fabray, Rebekah Fabray Puckerman, New Directions, Rachel's dads - Stan & Alex Berry, other charactersRating: R
Length: ~6,400/ ~30,000 (subject to change)
Summary: AU Quinn Fabray comes to Lima, Ohio and enrolls at McKinley as a seventeen year old senior. She quickly befriends and falls in love with Rachel Berry but Quinn's deepest secret, shared with none other than Noah "Puck" Puckerman, has made her life almost impossible to live and she knows that she and Rachel can never be. However, when Rachel accidentally stumbles upon said secret it turns Quinn's life on its head and she finds herself breaking her own rules of survival to be by Rachel's side.
Warnings: Minor drug use, scenes involving war and bodily harm, character death.
Author's Note #1: I hit a brick wall with this so many times I can't even count them. But I persevered, thanks in part to the encouragement of madndizzee who is my constant poker and motivates me to get shit done. Title stolen from All This Time by OneRepublic.
Author's Note #2: This story moves very, very quickly. It's very fast paced and there is a lot of stuff crammed into each part. Most of it is me hating to write filler. Don't say I didn't warn you.
-Part I-
August 2011
Lima, Ohio
Another new year, another new high school. Quinn Fabray was enrolled as a seventeen year old high school senior, as per normal. She was a few days behind all of the other students but she’d had other things to do before she started school again. She straightened out her The Who t-shirt and smoothed out her worn out jeans and smiled at her once white Chuck Taylors that she had decorated and colored. She went through the routine of going to the guidance counselor’s office and getting her schedule and her locker combination. Each high school was always the same. The social hierarchy was the same. The teachers were the same. The students were the same.
Quinn walked through the crowded hallway to her locker and spun the dial to get it open. The lock stuck and she growled and tried again and again.
“That one always sticks,” a voice said. “I had it last year.”
Quinn snapped her head to the right to find the source of the voice and she stepped back. A short brunette wearing a raincoat and holding a pink binder and a few notebooks was staring up at her with a smile.
“Rachel Berry,” the girl said. “President of McKinley High’s glee club and resident slushie target.”
Rachel Berry shifted her books to one arm and stuck out her hand and Quinn took it.
“Quinn Fabray,” she said with a smile as she winced a little at Rachel’s firm grip. “New student.”
“I gathered. If you hold my books for a moment I can unlock your locker.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Quinn took the books from the short brunette and Rachel put in the combination and jerked the locker open. The door rattled and Quinn smiled and handed the brunette’s books back to her. The smile she received in return could’ve rivaled stadium lights.
“So, Quinn Fabray, as president of the glee club I am extending an offer to you to audition if you’re interested. Can you sing?”
Quinn shrugged. “Yeah.”
“What about dance? Do you have any dance training?”
“Yeah, I’ve been a cheerleader if that helps any.”
“Oh…” Rachel’s smile dropped from her face. “I suppose you’ll be joining the Cheerios then.”
“Cheerios?” Quinn stuffed her backpack into her locker and pulled out a few notebooks before shutting it again.
“The cheerleading squad. If you let it be known you were a cheerleader and you have dance training then the odds that Coach Sylvester will recruit you are quite high.”
“I’m guessing they’re more of a dance team than an actual cheerleading squad?”
Rachel nodded.
“Then I have no interest. Cheerleading used to be about being encouraging. If I wanted to dance like a whore then I’d go find a strip club.”
Quinn almost cursed herself for saying too much but there was a flicker of an oblivious smile on Rachel’s face. “Glee club meets this afternoon at three-thirty.”
“I guess I’ll give it a shot.”
“Wonderful! What’s your first class?”
Quinn pulled her schedule out of her pocket. “Spanish with Schuester.”
“Mr. Schuester is our glee club adviser! Although he is determined to destroy my career as a future Broadway star, he is a fairly good Spanish teacher. I would offer to walk you but there’s a chance that I’ll receive a slushie facial on the way and I wouldn’t want to subject you to that on your first day.”
“A slushie what?”
“The jocks go to the 7-11 down the street and purchase large cups of slushie, cherry, blue raspberry, or grape, and toss it on students such as myself who they believe are beneath them.”
Quinn had been to several different high schools in several different places and each one had their signature torture methods. Some would put dead mice in people’s lockers, others were famous for swirlies, others were fond of running kids up the flagpole. A slushie facial, though? That was new.
“That’s…creative.” Quinn started walking; Rachel followed along and continued talking, obviously forgetting that she had every intention of protecting the blonde.
“I’m a favorite target now that my ex-boyfriend has decided he’s a scared little boy and values his reputation over letting his friends know that we’re an item.”
“Sounds kind of like an ass.”
“Finn? I suppose. He’s simply influenced by peer pressure. It's for the best. I need someone who can keep up with me intellectually and vocally and isn’t afraid to admit who they are. Also, as a senior I need someone that is going to be willing to support my budding career in New York City and I’m not sure he’s up to the task.”
Quinn saw him coming before Rachel did. A large jock with a large cup. Rachel gasped just as the boy reared back to toss the large cup of blue slush. Quinn rolled her eyes and simply snatched the cup out of the jock’s hand before he could lurch forward.
“Thanks,” she said with a smile. She handed the slushie to Rachel and leaned in to the bulky young man. “I’m new around here,” she said with a scowl, “and I don’t take shit from anyone and I’m not afraid of you. At all. I don’t get mad, I get even. So why don’t you and your tiny brain run along and go to basic math, okay?”
The jock (whose jacket said ‘Karofsky’) opened and closed his mouth a few times. Quinn smirked and took Rachel’s arm and led her down the hallway.
“Quinn, I’m not sure you understand how things work…”
“No, I do understand. I probably understand better than you. You stand up to them and you keep standing up to them and they’ll back down when they get that you can’t be broken. Don’t let them walk all over you.”
Rachel nodded again and looked at the slushie in her hands. “What do I do with this?”
Quinn shrugged. “Drink it or toss it.”
“I’m not really a fan of blue raspberry. Not to mention these drinks are loaded with empty calories which aren’t conducive to a properly balanced and nutritional diet.”
Quinn gestured to a nearby trashcan and Rachel dropped the slushie into it and led the way to Mr. Schuester’s classroom. Quinn noticed the girl walking with a little extra bounce in her step after the almost-attack and rescue and with a little more brightness in her eyes as she looked up at her. Quinn blushed a little and nudged the short brunette who responded with a giggle. The blonde was relieved to have made a connection that quickly, it always made the high school experience a little easier.
Once in the classroom Rachel took the seat next to Quinn at one of the desks and displayed her Spanish book in between the pair. Quinn glanced over the open pages and at the notebook Rachel also displayed, the page filled even in the margins.
“I probably won’t need it,” Quinn said. “I’m fluent.”
“Why are you taking it?”
“Same reason I’m taking any other class. It’s something to do. French and German were full; I’m fluent in those, too. And Italian…and a little Dutch, enough to get by.”
Rachel blinked. “You’re joking.”
“Nope. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.”
“¡Hola clase!” the young teacher came in with his briefcase.
“Hola, Señor Schuester!” Rachel answered with enthusiasm. Quinn smiled.
Even though it was an advanced level Spanish class, Rachel was still unable to roll her “r’s”, Quinn noticed. The brunette took fantastic notes but when it came to verbalizing, unlike English, her Spanish needed work.
“I’m tutoring you,” Quinn said when class finished. “Seriously, you’re smart and you can write it all day but you suck at speaking it.”
“Mr. Schuester said I’ve gotten better…” Rachel grabbed her books and the pair was headed to the door when Mr. Schuester stopped them.
“Rachel, can I see you for a second?” Mr. Schuester pulled the brunette to the front of the class. Quinn followed.
“I know, Mr. Schue, I need to work on verbalizing.”
“Some people just can’t pick it up, it’s fine,” he said. “I wanted to see if you had any new ideas for glee club.”
“Mr. Schuester, I have an entire catalog of songs I believe would be appropriate. This is Quinn Fabray, by the way!” Rachel grabbed onto Quinn’s arm and pulled her forward. “I think I’ve convinced her to audition for glee club.”
“Fantastic! Nice to meet you, Quinn.”
“Mucho gusto, Señor Schuester,” Quinn said with a smile.
“Muy bueno, Quinn. How long have you been speaking Spanish?”
Quinn smirked. “A while.”
“Well, I would very much like it if you did join glee club, Quinn.”
“I’ve also offered to tutor Rachel in her spoken Spanish.”
“Wonderful! Let me write you guys some passes so you’re not late to your next class, okay?”
Quinn smiled and nodded. Her next class was AP European history, Rachel’s was chemistry. Quinn sat in the back of the classroom and pulled a gold ball about the size of a quarter out of her pocket and tossed it at the ceiling. She didn’t listen to a word the old man teacher said until she was called on.
“Ms. Fabray! Tell us about Hitler’s invasion of Poland.”
“September first through October sixth, 1939,” Quinn said, still tossing the ball in the air. “It was the first major action of World War II. There were over sixty-six thousand Polish killed, over one-hundred-thirty thousand wounded, and almost seven-hundred thousand captured. There were several German-staged incidents that made it look like the Germans were acting in self defense. The first act of regular war was at four-forty in the morning on the town of Wieluń by the German Luftwaffe. Almost thirteen hundred were killed, most of them civilians.” Quinn caught the ball one last time and looked up at the teacher who looked almost furious. “Do you want me to continue or do you want to teach the lesson?”
“Very good, Ms. Fabray,” the teacher growled. He went on with his lesson and Quinn started tossing the ball again.
In AP Calculus she completed the work the teacher asked of her, in AP Chemistry she filled out the formulas and tossed her ball some more while the teacher rambled on about balancing equations. Quinn met Rachel in the cafeteria for lunch and went through the line with the girl who curled her nose at almost everything that was offered. Another thing about all high schools, they all had the same thing in the cafeteria. Quinn grabbed a burger and fries and a can of Diet Coke and joined Rachel and her salad at a table with a few other kids.
“Quinn, these are some of the other glee clubbers.” Rachel pointed to each person around the table and Quinn nodded at each one. “Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie.”
“Nice to meet you guys.”
“So how good are you?” Mercedes asked. “Rachel told us you could sing.”
“I guess I’m okay. I’ve never done glee club before.”
It was true. Out of all of the activities at all the high schools Quinn had been at she’d actually never done choir. She’d done band, cheerleading, dance team, color guard, drama, and every single academic club anyone could think of. She’d done it all. They didn’t need to know that, though. She cracked open her can of soda and arched an eyebrow at Rachel picking off all of the cheese on her salad.
“Look, Quinn,” Mercedes said, “we’re glad to get a new member and whatever but I’ve been at this for three years and I still can’t get a good solo,” the girl scowled while looking at Rachel, “so don’t come up all in here tryin’ to knock me down.”
Quinn actually had to laugh at that. Rachel sighed and continued picking the offending cheese off of the bed of lettuce.
“Whatever,” Quinn said, “I don’t care about your solos and I’m just looking for something to do. And you don’t have to be a bitch, just so you know.”
Mercedes squeaked and Rachel grinned.
Quinn’s next class was AP Literature where they were reading War & Peace she sighed and asked the teacher if she could test out of the unit. The woman arched her eyebrow at her and Quinn started reciting the plot in vivid detail, the teacher’s jaw remained slightly open until Quinn finished.
“If there’s another book you’d like to read, Ms. Fabray…”
Quinn shrugged and pulled the ball out of her pocket and tossed it in the air. “Not really. I’ve probably read everything on your list.”
“Why are you in this class, Ms. Fabray?”
Quinn smiled. “Something to pass the time.”
After literature was home economics, Rachel met Quinn at the door and literally bounced to their work station. The teacher handed out the assignment, Rachel eagerly grabbed up the recipe and started scrambling around the kitchen grabbing ingredients for pancakes. Quinn groaned when the brunette looked confused at the bowls of salt and sugar she had set out. She knew this was going to be a disaster. Her hunch was right when Rachel then proceeded to somehow manage to set their stove on fire.
“Rachel!” Quinn squealed when she pulled the fire extinguisher from the wall and sprayed the stove. “Who the hell taught you to put the stove on high for pancakes?!”
“My family is fully committed to take out! We don’t cook!”
“Obviously!”
By the time the fire was contained both Rachel and Quinn were covered in pancake batter, fire extinguishing foam, and the teacher was simply shaking her head. Quinn guessed that Rachel setting things on fire wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence in the classroom. They cleaned up their station and went to the locker rooms to shower, Rachel brought her emergency bag with extra clothes and offered Quinn shorts and a t-shirt and the blonde smiled.
“Thanks,” Quinn said. “I’m teaching you how to cook, by the way.”
“How do you plan on tutoring me in Spanish, cooking, and keeping up with AP classes?”
“The AP classes are going to be the easy part.”
Quinn stripped her jeans off and her gold ball fell out of the pocket and rolled to Rachel’s feet. The brunette bent down to pick it up. Quinn shrieked.
“No! Don’t touch that!”
Rachel jumped back and Quinn snatched up the ball and tucked it in with her clothes, ensuring it wasn’t going anywhere.
“Sorry,” the blonde mumbled. “It’s just…really important. Family heirloom. I shouldn’t carry it with me but I’m just afraid it’ll fall into the wrong hands or something.”
“It’s very interesting.”
“Yeah, you could say that.” Quinn stripped off her shirt and tossed it onto the pile of her jeans. Rachel’s jaw dropped a little. “Oh…sorry,” Quinn grabbed her shirt and covered her front. “Sorry if that made you uncomfortable or whatever. I’m just used to it.”
“No it’s just…you’ve got quite a few scars…and the tattoo. And…well I can’t deny that your figure…you’re rather attractive.”
Quinn tossed her shirt back on her jeans. “I guess,” she shrugged. She grabbed a towel from one of the shelves and followed the brunette to the showers. Rachel stepped into the first stall, Quinn into the second.
“Do you mind me asking…about them?” Rachel said over the running water. “About the scars?”
Quinn chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe me.”
“Tell me about the one on the left side of your ribcage.”
Quinn looked down and ran her fingers over the large scar marring her skin. “Like I said,” Quinn sighed, “you wouldn’t believe me.”
-*-*-*-*-*-
December 7, 1941
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
“Gloria, I’m going for a run,” Quinn said. “Back later.”
Gloria, Quinn’s roommate, groaned incoherently and rolled over in her bed signaling she didn’t really care. Quinn just laughed, stretched and pulled her hair up in a bun and headed out the door of their small on-base cabin. She ran along the beach and passed a few soldiers out on their morning jogs, she smiled flirtatiously at them and they all turned to watch her run by. Quinn stopped in the harbor like she always did and looked out at the ships resting peacefully in the water. The sunlight was shimmering off the ocean and the harbor was stirring a little with soldiers getting ready for their day’s work. Hawaii was one of her favorite places she’d been, especially for work. It was peaceful and calm and absolutely beautiful.
Quinn caught her breath and turned to go back to her house when she heard it. She heard the low buzz and looked back out onto the harbor and she saw them. Dozens of planes heading right toward the harbor. Right toward her.
“Oh God…” she gasped. She turned to run but only made it a few steps before all hell broke loose. The first explosion almost knocked her out. Her head was buzzing and her ears were ringing when she looked up from where she’d landed on the ground. She got up to start running again when the planes started passing overhead. There were more explosions and shrapnel flying and Quinn turned back to look at the harbor. What she saw absolutely horrified her.
The peaceful ships were no longer peaceful. There was smoke and fire everywhere. The roar of the planes was joined by roar of the soldiers. Quinn cried out after another explosion when something hit her ribcage and she looked down to see a piece of metal sticking out of her shirt. She groaned at the dull pain and pulled the metal out and tossed it on the ground.
“Nurse!” one of the soldiers ran up to her and she covered the tear in her shirt. “Go get the others! Get to the hospital!”
Quinn nodded and took off running. The pain in her ribcage started subsiding. By the time she got to the hospital with the rest of the nurses in tow it was nothing but a scar.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“Quinn! How long are you going to be in there?” Rachel called.
Quinn blinked a few times and looked around. “Sorry, be out in a second.” She rinsed the pancake batter from her hair and shut off the water. She grabbed a towel and stepped out of her shower stall with it wrapped around her chest.
“So you’re not going to tell me anything?”
“I might someday,” Quinn said with a smile.
“Well at least tell me something about yourself!”
Quinn shrugged. “My parents disowned me when I got pregnant at sixteen. I live alone.”
“Oh.”
“Too much?”
Quinn turned around, back to Rachel, and dropped her towel down around her waist and grabbed her bra.
“No,” Rachel said. “I was just expecting something along the lines of your favorite color. Perhaps your favorite musical group.”
“Oh…blue. And The Beatles.”
“It’s a very interesting tattoo you have.”
“It’s for my daughter,” Quinn blurted out. She hooked her bra and grabbed her underwear and slipped them on under the towel. She dropped the towel and reached for the shorts Rachel had given her.
“You gave her up for adoption?”
Quinn pulled the shorts on and looked down at the small script “R” with 7211861 encircling it over her heart. “She died. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m so sorry, Quinn.”
There was a hand on her bare shoulder and Quinn jumped a little bit. The blonde turned around quickly and Rachel’s eyes dropped to the tattoo on her chest and then back up.
“You’re very different.”
Quinn smiled. “You have no idea.”
“I’d like to find out. You’re very intriguing. Do you mind me asking where you’re living?”
“I’ve got a place,” Quinn said. She shrugged away and grabbed Rachel’s t-shirt. She looked down at the logo when it was smoothed over her body. “Wicked?”
“Yes, have you heard of it?”
“I’ve seen it. Idina was amazing.”
Rachel gasped. “You saw…the original?”
Quinn smiled. “Yeah.”
“I demand that you come to my house this evening and recall every single moment!”
“Uh…that depends on the food situation.”
“Take-out. It’s Thai night.”
“Deal. And I’m going to teach you to roll your “r’s”.”
Quinn caught the last half hour of her last class, health, before glee club practice. Rachel met her outside the choir room door and showed her inside. Aside from the glee clubbers she met at lunch there were two cheerleaders and three big guys she assumed were jocks sitting up on the risers.
“Quinn, this is the rest of the glee club. There’s Santana and Brittany,” Rachel pointed to the two cheerleaders. “And Mike, Matt, and…Finn.”
Finn’s head dropped at the mention of his name and he scratched the back of his neck.
“That’s the jackass that dumped you because he thinks he’s better than you, right?” Quinn said loud enough to cause everyone in the room to look at her.
Rachel turned bright red.
“I’m not impressed,” Quinn said with a shrug.
Finn furrowed his eyebrows and growled.
“Does anyone know where Noah is?” Rachel asked. There was a collective murmured no. Rachel shrugged and pulled Quinn to a seat.
“Who’s Noah?” The familiar name filled Quinn’s mouth like cotton.
“He moved here a few years ago,” Rachel said. “He’s known for being quite the womanizer.” Rachel blushed and looked down at her sheet music. “What will you sing for your audition piece? Although anyone who auditions makes it, Mr. Schuester insists upon auditions to assess your vocal abilities.”
Quinn shrugged. “I’ll think of something.”
Rachel was right, Mr. Schuester demanded that Quinn audition in front of the rest of the glee club members. The blonde shrugged and dropped to the piano bench and thought for a second before smiling and finding the right key. She launched into a slow acoustic version of “I Want to Hold Your Hand” (which she still insisted that she originated when she was playing in a hotel lobby for tips and that damn movie cover totally ripped her off). She glanced up at Rachel and grinned a little.
Quinn’s concentration was broken by the door to the choir room opening and when she saw who was standing in it she completely froze.
“Puck?” she squeaked.
“Quinn…”
“You two know each other?” Mr. Schuster asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“Excuse me for a moment.” Quinn stood and stormed toward the door, she grabbed Puck’s forearm and dragged him back out the way he came. “What the hell are you doing here?!”
“I should ask you the same damn question! I’ve been here for three years, where the hell have you been?”
“None of your business!”
“So what now?”
“What now? You leave, that’s what!” Quinn growled.
“Me? I was here first!”
“You hate school.”
“Yeah well, a lot of shit has happened since the last time I was in one so I figured I should catch up and plus, there is so much tail here. Chicks are so much more willing to give it up than they used to be.”
“You’re disgusting. Look…we just tell everyone we went to school together before you moved from…where were you?”
“Records say Iowa.”
“Fine. We went to school together in Iowa.”
“Works for me. Anyone know anything already?”
“Rachel already knows about her but not that she was yours. But obviously no one knows about us. So keep your trap shut.”
“Got it.”
Quinn took a deep breath and opened the door to the choir room. The loud buzz of voices immediately went silent when she and Puck stepped back into the room.
“Sorry. Just catching up,” Quinn said with a smile. “Mr. Schuester would you like me to finish?”
“No, Quinn, that’s fine. You did good, very good!”
Quinn shrugged and dropped down next to Rachel, Puck went up to the top of the risers and sat next to Finn. Quinn could feel his eyes lingering on her and she scooted a little closer to Rachel.
Rachel’s house was nice. Very nice. The living room was about the size of the filthy apartment she’d found to live in. Rachel gave her a grand tour and put Quinn’s clothes in the laundry to get out the dried pancake batter. The brunette led her up the stairs and to her room, it smelled like strawberries. Quinn immediately dropped to the bed and motioned for Rachel to sit in front of her.
“Rolling your ‘r’s isn’t that hard,” Quinn said. “It’s all in the tongue.”
“I’ve been trying for four years. It’s not happening.”
“You need to relax. If you focus on it then you won’t do it. Think about something else and try it.”
Rachel took a deep breath. She tried. Quinn sighed when she failed miserably.
“You’re not relaxing!”
“Quinn, when I’m told to relax it only furthers the tension due to the fact that I’m focusing too much on relaxing.”
“What relaxes you?”
“Singing,” Rachel answered matter-of-factly.
“No it doesn’t. You’re too passionate about that, it’s in your eyes. Something else.”
Rachel blinked a few times. “I’m not sure.”
“We’ll find something.”
Rachel nodded. Quinn pulled out her homework and started filling in equations and writing summaries and pointing at mistakes Rachel made on her trigonometry homework. Quinn met Rachel’s two dads and vaguely answered questions about her past over dinner. Each question pushed her further and further to lie and her brain was digging up things she didn’t want to think about. Ever.
-*-*-*-*-*-
July 1853
Savannah, Georgia
Quinn ran through the cotton fields where her Daddy’s “workers” (as he called them; Quinn had heard others call them ‘slaves’ and other names her mother said she ought not to repeat) were tending the plants and the foreman was yelling. Quinn had just turned ten and she was supposed to be inside with her mother and her sister sewing or drinking tea or something other than running through the plants and saying hello to the workers but those things weren’t fun.
“Hi!” she squealed as she ran by each man.
“Good day to you, Little Miss Quinn,” each one said with a smile.
Quinn ran until she hit the edge of the forest. She never dared go in but she always longed to. Her father said she wasn’t allowed because of the wild animals so she just watched for a few minutes then turned back to the fields and started running again.
When Quinn tired herself out from running through the fields she would make her way back to the house, a very large house that she loved more than anything because it was home. Her Daddy greeted her on the big front porch and she jumped into his arms.
“Where have you been my little Quinnie?”
“Playing,” she said with a smile. “Playing in the fields!”
“Your mother has been worried. You should go in and get cleaned up. I think there might be a tray of cookies in the kitchen if you’re good.”
Quinn gasped and scrambled out of her father’s arms to go upstairs to her bedroom where Hazel was straightening up the sheets on her bed. The dark-skinned woman helped Quinn wash and change into a new dress and sent her on her way to the kitchen. With a sugar cookie in hand she bounced into the parlor and was scolded by her mother and made to read out of the family Bible for half an hour. She got through it and her mother nodded approvingly and handed her a few quilt patches for her to start stitching.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“Quinn?”
Quinn’s mind snapped back to the present when she heard her name.
“Quinn, Daddy asked how old you are.”
Rachel gestured to her dark-skinned father, Alex, and he smiled.
Quinn bit her tongue to keep from blurting out her immediate response.
“Seventeen,” she said with a smile.
The man smiled. “What kinds of things do you do? Any hobbies?”
Quinn shrugged. “A little of everything. Apparently right now it’s glee club.”
“Daddy is into genealogy,” Rachel said. “He can trace anyone’s family history.”
Alex nodded. “What do you know about your history?”
“Uh…not much. I know the family has been here a while; at least a few generations before the civil war.”
“Fabray is an Irish name,” he said. “If you’re ever interested I could help you find out more.”
“Thank you,” Quinn said with a smile that masked her panic. “But I’m not really that interested. I’m not close with my family.”
Alex smiled and nodded.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn found herself at Rachel’s almost every evening for dinner. Alex and Rachel’s other dad, Stan, became accustomed to setting out a fourth plate. Quinn didn’t object. It was one less thing she had to pay for. The money she’d been saving was running out and she knew she had to save whatever she could.
She got closer and closer to Rachel and she noticed Puck watching her more and more. She avoided him and the questions at all cost. He especially watched her when she would be enamored with the gold ball she kept with her. She would always smirk at him and toss it in the air once more just to watch him wince. August turned into September, Quinn barely noticed. She didn’t pay attention to days or weeks or months anymore. All she could pay attention to now was Rachel.
The brunette still couldn’t roll her “r’s” but the blonde had been successful in teaching Rachel how to cook. Granted, she’d assisted her greatly for each meal the brunette cooked but nothing had been set on fire and everything was edible. Rachel’s dads sincerely offered for Quinn to move in with them several times but each time the blonde politely thanked and denied them.
Rachel was burying herself further into Quinn’s heart. It was good because Quinn was very ready for someone to be with but at the same time, she knew she’d have to break Rachel’s heart eventually and she’d grown rather fond of the girl. Rachel would throw flirty glances and touches and Quinn heard through the grapevine that she’d turned down Finn’s recent attempts at re-sparking their relationship.
September turned into October and Rachel insisted Quinn join her for a Halloween horror movie marathon. Quinn accepted despite the fact that she knew Rachel was easily startled and any kind of horror movie wasn’t going to be a good idea for the brunette to watch.
Quinn’s prediction was right, Rachel ended up halfway on top of the blonde during Scream. Quinn didn’t complain, she just wrapped her arms around the brunette’s shoulders. Rachel stayed where she was and buried her face into Quinn’s neck for the rest of the movie.
“I think we should watch something a little more fluffy,” Quinn said when the movie ended. “You’ll have nightmares if we keep this up.”
“I-I will not! We should watch Friday the 13th.”
“Rachel, seriously? You got nightmares from Goosebumps.”
“I was ten! And I told you that with the promise that you’d never make fun of me for it!”
Quinn gave a playful smile and hugged Rachel closer to her and the brunette let out a content sigh. She nuzzled Quinn’s neck and the blonde’s breath hitched in her throat when Rachel’s lips grazed the pale skin and her tongue darted out to taste.
“Rachel…”
Rachel pulled back quickly and scrambled away from Quinn. She clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at them. “I’m sorry,” the brunette mumbled.
“Don’t be. I just didn’t know…your dads are upstairs.”
“Quinn, my dads are gay. I’m fairly certain they won’t mind if they find me kissing a girl.”
Quinn gave a soft smile before gently cupping Rachel’s face and drawing her in. The brunette moved back closer to Quinn and wrapped one hand around the back of her neck and settled the other on her hip. Quinn made the first move and gently brushed her lips against Rachel’s and she sucked in the sigh that escaped the girl’s lips. She pressed a simple kiss to Rachel’s lips and felt all tension leave Rachel’s body.
Quinn had kissed a lot of people in her life and each one had always felt a little different than the last. Boys and girls were obviously different from each other and each boy was different from the rest as was each girl. There was one boy she’d kissed that made her heart want to burst out of her chest and she had most definitely been in love with him. She’d loved him with her whole heart once. And when she felt it again when Rachel pressed her lips more firmly against her own and she felt a tongue touch her lips, Quinn panicked. She pulled back and Rachel whimpered and looked up at her, rejection plaguing her eyes.
“Quinn?”
“I…”
“Quinn, are you…I’m sorry, I should’ve asked…”
“No…it’s not you.”
Rachel furrowed her eyebrows. “Did you not enjoy it?”
Quinn took a deep breath. “I did like it. I…I like you. I like you a lot, Rachel and that’s the problem.”
“Well why would that be a problem? I see no issue.”
“C-college,” Quinn sputtered. “We’re seniors, we’re going off to college.” The excuse she always used when she played the role of high school student. Only this time it was less elegant than it usually was.
“So? Not until the summer. Assuming all goes well in the course of our relationship we could attend the same university or at least live in the same area.”
Quinn had heard that argument several times. Each time she was able to convince the other party that they were wrong and it wouldn’t work out. This time…this time she couldn’t.
“Yeah…you’re right. You’re totally right.” Quinn smiled. “Where were we?”
Rachel’s fingers trailed up and the blonde shivered a little when the soft pads of Rachel’s fingertips ran over a long scar on her shoulder. Rachel’s fingers sparked sensations on Quinn’s skin that tore her away from the present and sent her to places far away in both time and location.
-*-*-*-*-*-
November 21, 1916
On board the HMHS Britannic
Quinn had been in London when the First World War was declared. Weighing her options of getting the hell out or doing just as she had done several years previously she finally decided on the latter. She immediately sought out a small nursing school and it didn’t take much to get enrolled since she was excellent at knowing her way around the formal paperwork. The field of medicine had changed drastically, she noticed. Still, she passed through her courses with flying colors because of what little still-useful background knowledge she had. Immediately after she passed she offered her services to the Royal Military. She was put on board the newly requisitioned ship HMHS Britannic, sister ship to the still famous RMS Titanic.
She was certain that this could be the safest job to have in the war, simply transporting wounded military men back to Britain from mainland Europe. They were free of patients at the moment and were heading to Lemnos. Quinn and a friend she had made, Violet, were making their rounds on the ship to change bed sheets and tidy up the rooms for the patients they would be picking up. Violet was telling Quinn of her voyage on Titanic and they’d just moved to folding down the sheets on another bed when the ship lurched, sending both women to the floor.
Orders were shouted to get everyone to the main deck and start loading lifeboats. After assuring Violet that she would be okay, Quinn took to darting through the corridors to check for anyone that might not have heard. Once assured that all of the rooms were clear, Quinn hurried up to the main deck and was ushered into a lifeboat. She immediately found Violet, the woman was in somewhat of a trance. Quinn wrapped an arm around her as their boat was lowered.
Quinn heard the shrieks from the rear of the ship and mistakenly turned her head to find the source. The propellers of the ship had risen out of the water and the lifeboat that had been lowered right before hers collided with the still spinning propellers. And theirs was following. Quinn watched the boat get dashed to bits and pieces of wood and metal came hurdling toward them. A piece of metal flew by and sliced open her shoulder. Quinn shrieked and immediately grabbed onto the deep wound. The occupants of her boat started panicking. Violet snapped out of her trance and before Quinn could stop her, the woman jumped overboard. Quinn followed.
The water was salty and it stung her eyes and burned the fast closing wound but she willed herself to keep her eyes open as she searched for Violet. The woman was kicking to try and get to the surface but her head collided with the keel of the ship. Quinn tried to swim to her but felt herself being pulled away by the currents of the propeller. She swam hard against them until the suction stopped and exhausted, she let herself float to the surface of the water. She was pulled out and put into a lifeboat.
“Violet,” she murmured to the steward. “Violet…”
The steward seemed to understand as he peered over the edge of the boat. A stewardess wrapped Quinn in a blanket and the blonde trembled with the cold. She watched two men pull Violet into the boat and bundle her in blankets and Quinn sighed and gripped tightly to the now scar on her shoulder.
-*-*-*-*-*-
Quinn ran her hand up Rachel’s side and let herself fall a little deeper into the emotion flooding her body. She could work on moving on later. And Rachel was a really good kisser, so that was a plus. Quinn had gone through the motions of relationships and breakups several times, Rachel couldn’t be any different. Like all the others in her life, it would have its season and then it would have to end. She was just putting it off a little, she assured herself.
Part II