Never To Betray You Again Chapter 10
Title: Never To Betray You Again - 10
Disclaimer: I didn't own anything except for the plot
Main Character: Yabu, Inoo, Yaotome, Arioka, Yuya, Yamada, Chinen
Summary: Kota locked himself to the world for 3 years and he even have times that he wanted to die already but he was always stopped by unexpected situation like fate didn't want him to die. After visiting a grieve, he accidentally met the most important person in his life which he thought was already dead. He treated it as an opportunity to fix what he have done wrong to him 3 years ago. But the real aftermath of the nightmare happened that years ago just began when the 5 members of Blazerz received a call stating that he knew everything that happened that night and he was planning to take revenge for the death of Sakura Minato.
Genre: romance, mystery, friendship, thriller and death
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Another revised version >___ < EnjoyXD
Never To Betray You Again
-Chapter Ten-
"Help me!!!" Sakura shouted in the maximum volume of her voice but it was muffled by someone's hand again. Kei can saw what they were doing to her but he was too afraid that he can't move his position. Why are they doing that to her? What did she do to make those guys so mad at her? They rape her, bang her with all their might. They didn't spare her life and they even stabbed her to death.
Kei felt like he was going crazy… he wanted to run away and escape but then all of a sudden he felt a hand tap his shoulder. He turned his head slowly and he was shocked to see a bloody face of Sakura who was smirking devilishly towards him. "Why didn't you save me? You saw it right? You saw how I am was tortured to death? Why? Why? Why?" she asked continuously.
Kei woke up running out of breathe. Why do he need to dream about it again? Sakura's spirit might wanted justice for her death but he didn't know what to do about it besides like in his dream he also wanted to know what those guys were so mad about her that leads them to her death? People will not be mad at someone if they didn't do anything wrong. Kei swallowed his saliva and stand up. He need to go to the market to buy some grocery since he was running out of supplies and he didn't want to stay in his apartment because of what happened last night. He was afraid that Kota will come and asked about what happened and he was sure he can't face him normally.
He checked the corridor before he get out of his apartment. He was glad that Kota was not around or maybe because it was Saturday so he was still sleeping. He started walking when he was greeted by Yuri who just came out of the elevator. He was so jumpy like always. "Good morning Kei-chan, where are you going?"
"Market." Kei replied briefly.
"By the way you heard about the party tonight right? You should not be absent since it's a welcoming party for the new tenants and also the birthday of our landlord." Yuri reminded him. That little brat told him about it before and now he was reminded again like he was really excited about it. "There were be lots of food and also I'm going to help in cooking. I want Kei-chan to taste my specialty."
"Don't worry… I will come." Kei answered. He rode the elevator and said goodbye to Yuri. He really didn't like parties or any events where there are lots of people. He avoid it as much as possible since he was always afraid of crowds and also other's touching him. But if he wanted to change his life he need to do something he didn't do before and because of that he agreed with the invitation.
The market was just a walking distance to their apartment. He wanted to buy on places where there are sales but he always avoid it because of the crowd and the commotion it brings. His handicapped was really giving him disadvantage on everything. He can't lift so much and so he just choose those stuffs that he really need the most. He can't asked anyone to help him like he used to in Katagawa and so now he was doing everything. He was living in the city for a month already and slowly he was getting the hang of it. But still he can't fully do everything that he wanted to do since his movements have restrictions. He should look after everything of his surrounding and make sure that he was always alert to protect himself. It's a hassle but he have no choice but to do it if he didn't want his life to be in danger.
When everything on his list was complete he stop by a stall which was selling takoyaki and he ordered for a take out. While he was getting money to his wallet a snatcher get it. Kei was shocked and he wanted to run after it but because of his condition he knew that he will not have a chance to run after it. He leave his stuffs in that stall and tried his best to follow that guy but it easily vanished from his sight. "What should I do?" he asked to himself as he look from side to side but he can't find that guy anymore. "My allowance was there." he muttered. He sighed and he look so down. He really didn't like to bother his parents about his allowance.
"Excuse me." Kei heard a voice coming from his back, he turned and saw a good looking guy offering him his wallet. "This is yours right?" he asked with his deep voice.
"Yo… th…thank you very much." he said while bowing down so many times. "Yo…you save me."
"It's dangerous for someone like you to go on a crowded place all by yourself. You're not with someone who can help you?" he asked him but Kei just give him a brief smile. "Next time be careful."
"Thank you very much again." Kei thanked and then he watch as that guy walk away from him. He was glad that there are still individual in the world who are nice and willing to help other people. He went back to the takoyaki stall where he left his stuffs and then after his bought takoyaki was prepared Kei went back to his apartment. On his way to the elevator he saw the landlord fixing a broken bulb but before he rode it his attention was called.
"Ne, Inoo last night you're the one who was left alone with Kota right? Did something happen?" the landlord asked him.
"Happen?" Kei asked then he remembered everything that happened that night but he didn't want to tell the detail and so he lied. "Nothing."
"Kota just came down and asked me what happened to him? I told him that it was you who help him and then he asked me questions like... is there something he did to you or told you." the landlord explained. "He was so persistent even I told him I don't know."
"Where is he now?"
"He go out… he said that his head was hurting too much because of hang over and he need to eat something to let it go. You should talk to him about what happened last night okay… maybe tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Isn't he… going to the party tonight?"
"No… no… Kota was not very social. He dislikes it and never attended it even ones. He was always inside his room and hide himself there. I don't know what's wrong with him but he was so alone and hard to mingle with. He doesn't have any friends or anyone he were close to. Yuri-chan took a long time before he became so close to him but you're attach to him as well right? I mean you always ride his car everyday… it's the first time for a stranger to get closer to him instantly."
"We're not close."
"Really? But… that is not what I can see to your relationship. It seems like both of you have deeper connection to each other. Anyway… you must not be absent tonight okay? You're one of the star of the party since you are a new tenant. We wanted to welcome you warmly to your new home."
"Don't worry… I will come." Kei assured the old man. He went straight to his room but before he opened it he sneak a look at Kota's place. By the story of the old man, it seems Kota can't remember what happened last night. Since he heard all those words he was more confused of Kota's actions. He was not sure anymore of what he should do and what to think but the option to avoid him more seems to be the right way to do things.
But can he really do that? After hearing those words of sincere apologies, he can't just ignore that easily. Last night it kept on ringing inside his mind, like it was automatically repeated. Kota was really serious apologizing to him and his cries and his expressions showed it to him. He didn't want to play the bad guy and be stone hearted but that apology really hit him directly to the chest. It was pure and constant and how long did he wish to hear that sorry. Plus this few days he was feeling unnecessary emotions that was slowly destroying the wall he constructed to protect himself. Kota was starting to embed his life again and he was afraid of what can happen in the future.
Afternoon arrived and Yuri picked Kei to go the party together. It was held in the 5th floor of the building where the landlord's room was located. When Yuri and Kei arrived they were welcomed by the girls of the first floor who are all office workers. Kei felt awkward since he was not used to crowds but as time goes on he was blending well. It was easier for him to talk to them because they were nice and was really mature towards any topic.
But then there are also group of people who were just first year in university and was a little inconsiderate towards their words and actions. They were insensitive enough to asked questions instantly towards Kei without consider what will he think about it. They asked him things like where was his injured and what happened to his right leg. Kei told them his usual story which was he met an accident when he was young and that's the result of it. He was enjoying the party but to talk non stop was really tiring and draining his energy. He sit down first and eat something when Yuri sit next to him with a plate full of every food served.
"Are you enjoying Kei-chan?" Yuri asked him.
"Yeah I am… but since I am not really use to many people talking nonstop was draining my energy." Kei answered. "But this was a nice experience… meeting new people and so."
"I hope Yabu-sempai was here, I am sure he will enjoy this too. That guy really didn't want things like this. He never attend parties conducted by this apartment and he was really never close to anyone." Yuri said. "It took me months before I become closer to him but I can't say were really that close now but he was open to me compare to the past. He was unapproachable and he always emit this atmosphere saying that you should not talk to me and don't care about it. He was really in a bad state."
"Why will he do that?" Kei asked curiously but deep inside his mind he already have knowledge of what could be the possible reason and he just wanted to confirm it. Kota ones told him that he was just a first year student and he stopped school for 3 years. He seems aloft as well and didn't talk that much like he used to. Honestly, he can see that Kota have this dark aura surrounding him and he think the same way as Yuri told a while ago. Kota didn't want to be disturbed, he didn't want people to approached him and he wanted to be all alone. He was drawing a wall between him and all the people.
"I am not sure but it seems like he was regretting something he did before. Maybe he hurt someone he really care the most or something related to that. He always said that he didn't deserved to be happy and locked himself to his unit all the time. He drown himself with alcohol and he didn't care about his health. He looks like an old man with his beard growing all over his face. He can't sleep well because of his insomnia or maybe he always have nightmare at night. There were times that he was shouting by himself, scattering things inside his apartment. There was also a moment where he was caught cutting his wrist. Sempai was really in a bad state that even his parents didn't know what to do." Yuri told him. "He was really in a terrible state like no one can save him anymore."
It was Kei's first time to hear everything and he can't deny that it really affected him. Considering the situation Kota was in, it might possible that he regret what he have done 3 years ago and so he was punishing himself that way. But that assumption have no proof and even knowing that he regret what he did it can't erase the fact that he still did it and he hurt someone's feeling because of his selfish and unwanted desire to live. If Kota's words were real that night that he was drunk, he can conclude that he was threatened, that if he will not do that he will be killed. But he didn't hear those guys tell that to him and so can he really believe that?
"But then all of a sudden he went back home in a new state. That time that he went to Katagawa, he seems resurrected again. Just after that he said that he will going to attend university. It was a surprised but at the same time I am really really happy for him." Yuri continued with delights in his eyes like he was excited to tell the positive side of the story.
Katagawa was the place Kota and him have their fated meeting. Is Yuri talking about that?
"Yuri, I have a question for you."
"What?"
"If someone betrayed you and this time he was being nice to you what will you do? What will you think the reason of his actions?"
"Well… maybe he wanted to repay for what he have done?" Yuri answered unsurely. "Yeah I am a positive individual so I think that way."
"Will you forgive?" Kei asked him seriously.
"I will not." Yuri mumbled but then he smiled back to him and giggled a little "Forgiveness was different to each individual. There are people who can forgive easily and there are people who can't. it depends to the other party to judge the situation and the people involved. Is he worthy to be forgiven or not? That is what I believe. I am a type of person who can't forgive easily but I know Kei-chan is the other one."
"You think I am the kind hearted one?" Kei wondered.
"Yup… the world needs a person like you to balance it's humanity." Yuri answered with confidence. "And also I wanted Yabu-sempai to be forgiven… I hope whoever that someone who was making him like that… he will forgive him. I don't know but… even I am just a stranger I can feel sempai's sincerity and honesty to his actions. Whatever he do in the past I am sure he didn't meant that to happen."
Kei felt that Yuri's words was meant for him and even it was easy to say, It was hard to do. Even knowing everything he can't trust Kota yet but maybe one little push will made him forgive him. Yuri was right, he can feel Kota's sincerity as well. He was doing his best to be kind to him and he can feel that he was being protected. He was sorry about what he did, he regret it that he ended up locking himself to the world for 3 years. Kota's life might be a hell but then… is that enough to forgive him? What does Kota's words means when he overheard his conversation with his friend? Why did he said that anyway?
They continued talking when the working girls approach them and asked Kei to have a drink even one glass. Kei can't say no and so he tried to take one in one gulp. That cocktail taste good and so he tried more glasses but after the 6th he can already feel the alcohol affecting him. He wanted to go back to his room already and so Yuri volunteered to accompany him but when they went out of the room both of them was surprised when they saw Kota standing there.
"Sempai, what are you doing here?" Yuri asked. "Are you here for the party?"
"No… I am here to pick Kei." Kota answered honestly. "Is he drunk?"
"He have some cocktail and it seems like it was affecting him already. Can you bring him to his apartment? I still wanted to stay here." Yuri asked and Kota agreed instantly so the young guy goes back inside leaving the two alone together. Kei started to walk on his own but he was struggling. Kota walk to his side waiting for his support but Kei didn't go to the elevator but went to the stairs going to the rooftop. His movements was wobbling but he was sane enough to do things that he want. He was surprised that Kota came but learning things about him made him a little hesitant of what he should do now. He was not bad enough to ignore Kota's effort.
He reached the rooftop with an intention to confirm something. When he drink every glass of the cocktail offered to him, an idea reach his mind on how Kota can win his trust and maybe it was the only way to prove his loyalty to him. It's an all or nothing situation, he need to risk something in order to gain but… can he really gain something from it?
Looking up, he saw a thousand stars glittering in the deep velvet of a night with a half moon smiling on him. It was a beautiful sight and its presence unintentionally cheering him on. He just wanted to know what Kota was thinking about him and depending on his actions lies if he was forgiven or not.
"Kei, you should go back to your room. You're drunk right?" Kota commanded him but he didn't weaver. He faced him straight, determined to know the truth to him.
"Kota… can you remember what you told me last night?"
Kota paused for a moment, his eyes looking downward. "I can't… I'm sorry. Did i… tell you something weird?"
"You did." Kei answered honestly. "You apologized which something I can't understand. Did you do something to me? Did you do something to hurt me before?"
Kota's eyes expanded larger than normal. He was obviously shocked with what Kei asked. "I… I didn't."
Why was Kota pretending? Why can't he tell it to him directly? He wanted to fixed things between the two. He wanted Kota to be honest with him because if he just apologized to him without being drunk, with just being in his own self then there is a big possibility that he can accept Kota back again, that he can embrace him back to his life . "Then what does those apology means? Your words when you drunk doesn't mean anything? Is that what you wanted to tell me?" Kei blurted out. "Why don't you be honest with me even for ones?" he snapped but he gasped when he realized he was saying something he should not.
"I’m sorry." Kota replied. "I really can't remember what I told you last night but whatever it is… I wanted you to forget about it. I am… just emotionally unstable yesterday and so I drunk and when I reached that state I tend to say something I should not."
Kei bite his lower lips while struggling to prevent his tears from flowing. He knew that Kota was lying because he was not looking at him straight to the eye. What's wrong with Kota? Why can't he be honest with him? Why can't he really tell him his true feelings? Why do he need to lie over and over again. He was getting tired of it. He wanted to punch the truth out of him. he wanted to know what he was really feeling and not to hide it with a lie. It's not about he can't trust him anymore, it's about the fact that Kota can't trust him and so he was not showing him and telling him the truth. He looked away and wipe the tears that almost falls from his eyes.
He held a deep breathe, collecting all his courage for what he was planning to do. He wanted to tell Kota the truth that he doesn't have amnesia and he was just deceiving him. He knew that it was risky but it can prove that he can trust Kota. There are two things that might happen if he reveal the truth. First is that he can prove that he can trust Kota since if he found out the truth and he didn’t tell it to his other mates then that means he doesn't plan on betraying him again. Second is that the other members will found out that he was alive and his life will be in danger again. He was the only strong witness of what happened that night. He knew everything that happened and how they killed Sakura and so if Kota spit the truth to his mates then it will the end for him.
"Kota… I'm going to tell you something."
"What is it?"
There's no turning back anymore, it's now or never. He wanted to clear everything already because he was tired of thinking it over and over again. Is Kota his ally or his enemy? Is he on his side or not? Deep inside he wish that Kota choose him. He wish that he will not betray him again.
"Actually I… I don't really have…" Kei started. His whole body was shaking in nervousness plus the eyes that were waiting for him to say the words was engulfing him more sending pulse of fear in every part of his body. Hesitation started to reach his mind one by one but he was still determined to do it. "Kota…I… I don't have…" he repeated but he was startled when Kota's phone started to sing a Chopin music.
Kota put out his phone and took a look on the screen. The expression on his face change upon seeing who it was. He excused himself for a moment to answer the call which Kei give permission to do so. He pumping heart was having a incoherent battle inside and because of the interruption he became more half hearted to tell the truth.
He was watching Kota from his position. He was answering the call a little too far from him as if he was being cautious of not being heard by a third party. Is it an important call coming from someone important? He can see him clearly and his he was sure that expression on his face shows that he didn't want what was going on. Is it someone he hate? Is it someone he didn't want to hear his voice? Why is he so interested to know?
The call ended and Kota came approaching. The expression on his face didn't change and worst it was more intensified like he was troubled and in fear. "Kei… I need to go. So…something urgent happened and so…"
"I…it's fine." Kei answered hiding his disappointment about what happened but maybe it's fine as well. While watching Kota from the other end, hesitation started to dropped one by one. What if Kota betrayed him again? Can he take it for the second time? Is he prepared of what will happen? Will he be alright? He was not sure and so he didn't know how to answer those questions.
"Whatever you wanted to tell you can tell me later… I'm sorry if I can't help you go down. I'll call Yuri to help you."
"I told you it's fine… go… you're in a rush right?" he said calmly.
Disclaimer: I didn't own anything except for the plot
Main Character: Yabu, Inoo, Yaotome, Arioka, Yuya, Yamada, Chinen
Summary: Kota locked himself to the world for 3 years and he even have times that he wanted to die already but he was always stopped by unexpected situation like fate didn't want him to die. After visiting a grieve, he accidentally met the most important person in his life which he thought was already dead. He treated it as an opportunity to fix what he have done wrong to him 3 years ago. But the real aftermath of the nightmare happened that years ago just began when the 5 members of Blazerz received a call stating that he knew everything that happened that night and he was planning to take revenge for the death of Sakura Minato.
Genre: romance, mystery, friendship, thriller and death
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Another revised version >___ < EnjoyXD
Never To Betray You Again
-Chapter Ten-
"Help me!!!" Sakura shouted in the maximum volume of her voice but it was muffled by someone's hand again. Kei can saw what they were doing to her but he was too afraid that he can't move his position. Why are they doing that to her? What did she do to make those guys so mad at her? They rape her, bang her with all their might. They didn't spare her life and they even stabbed her to death.
Kei felt like he was going crazy… he wanted to run away and escape but then all of a sudden he felt a hand tap his shoulder. He turned his head slowly and he was shocked to see a bloody face of Sakura who was smirking devilishly towards him. "Why didn't you save me? You saw it right? You saw how I am was tortured to death? Why? Why? Why?" she asked continuously.
Kei woke up running out of breathe. Why do he need to dream about it again? Sakura's spirit might wanted justice for her death but he didn't know what to do about it besides like in his dream he also wanted to know what those guys were so mad about her that leads them to her death? People will not be mad at someone if they didn't do anything wrong. Kei swallowed his saliva and stand up. He need to go to the market to buy some grocery since he was running out of supplies and he didn't want to stay in his apartment because of what happened last night. He was afraid that Kota will come and asked about what happened and he was sure he can't face him normally.
He checked the corridor before he get out of his apartment. He was glad that Kota was not around or maybe because it was Saturday so he was still sleeping. He started walking when he was greeted by Yuri who just came out of the elevator. He was so jumpy like always. "Good morning Kei-chan, where are you going?"
"Market." Kei replied briefly.
"By the way you heard about the party tonight right? You should not be absent since it's a welcoming party for the new tenants and also the birthday of our landlord." Yuri reminded him. That little brat told him about it before and now he was reminded again like he was really excited about it. "There were be lots of food and also I'm going to help in cooking. I want Kei-chan to taste my specialty."
"Don't worry… I will come." Kei answered. He rode the elevator and said goodbye to Yuri. He really didn't like parties or any events where there are lots of people. He avoid it as much as possible since he was always afraid of crowds and also other's touching him. But if he wanted to change his life he need to do something he didn't do before and because of that he agreed with the invitation.
The market was just a walking distance to their apartment. He wanted to buy on places where there are sales but he always avoid it because of the crowd and the commotion it brings. His handicapped was really giving him disadvantage on everything. He can't lift so much and so he just choose those stuffs that he really need the most. He can't asked anyone to help him like he used to in Katagawa and so now he was doing everything. He was living in the city for a month already and slowly he was getting the hang of it. But still he can't fully do everything that he wanted to do since his movements have restrictions. He should look after everything of his surrounding and make sure that he was always alert to protect himself. It's a hassle but he have no choice but to do it if he didn't want his life to be in danger.
When everything on his list was complete he stop by a stall which was selling takoyaki and he ordered for a take out. While he was getting money to his wallet a snatcher get it. Kei was shocked and he wanted to run after it but because of his condition he knew that he will not have a chance to run after it. He leave his stuffs in that stall and tried his best to follow that guy but it easily vanished from his sight. "What should I do?" he asked to himself as he look from side to side but he can't find that guy anymore. "My allowance was there." he muttered. He sighed and he look so down. He really didn't like to bother his parents about his allowance.
"Excuse me." Kei heard a voice coming from his back, he turned and saw a good looking guy offering him his wallet. "This is yours right?" he asked with his deep voice.
"Yo… th…thank you very much." he said while bowing down so many times. "Yo…you save me."
"It's dangerous for someone like you to go on a crowded place all by yourself. You're not with someone who can help you?" he asked him but Kei just give him a brief smile. "Next time be careful."
"Thank you very much again." Kei thanked and then he watch as that guy walk away from him. He was glad that there are still individual in the world who are nice and willing to help other people. He went back to the takoyaki stall where he left his stuffs and then after his bought takoyaki was prepared Kei went back to his apartment. On his way to the elevator he saw the landlord fixing a broken bulb but before he rode it his attention was called.
"Ne, Inoo last night you're the one who was left alone with Kota right? Did something happen?" the landlord asked him.
"Happen?" Kei asked then he remembered everything that happened that night but he didn't want to tell the detail and so he lied. "Nothing."
"Kota just came down and asked me what happened to him? I told him that it was you who help him and then he asked me questions like... is there something he did to you or told you." the landlord explained. "He was so persistent even I told him I don't know."
"Where is he now?"
"He go out… he said that his head was hurting too much because of hang over and he need to eat something to let it go. You should talk to him about what happened last night okay… maybe tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Isn't he… going to the party tonight?"
"No… no… Kota was not very social. He dislikes it and never attended it even ones. He was always inside his room and hide himself there. I don't know what's wrong with him but he was so alone and hard to mingle with. He doesn't have any friends or anyone he were close to. Yuri-chan took a long time before he became so close to him but you're attach to him as well right? I mean you always ride his car everyday… it's the first time for a stranger to get closer to him instantly."
"We're not close."
"Really? But… that is not what I can see to your relationship. It seems like both of you have deeper connection to each other. Anyway… you must not be absent tonight okay? You're one of the star of the party since you are a new tenant. We wanted to welcome you warmly to your new home."
"Don't worry… I will come." Kei assured the old man. He went straight to his room but before he opened it he sneak a look at Kota's place. By the story of the old man, it seems Kota can't remember what happened last night. Since he heard all those words he was more confused of Kota's actions. He was not sure anymore of what he should do and what to think but the option to avoid him more seems to be the right way to do things.
But can he really do that? After hearing those words of sincere apologies, he can't just ignore that easily. Last night it kept on ringing inside his mind, like it was automatically repeated. Kota was really serious apologizing to him and his cries and his expressions showed it to him. He didn't want to play the bad guy and be stone hearted but that apology really hit him directly to the chest. It was pure and constant and how long did he wish to hear that sorry. Plus this few days he was feeling unnecessary emotions that was slowly destroying the wall he constructed to protect himself. Kota was starting to embed his life again and he was afraid of what can happen in the future.
Afternoon arrived and Yuri picked Kei to go the party together. It was held in the 5th floor of the building where the landlord's room was located. When Yuri and Kei arrived they were welcomed by the girls of the first floor who are all office workers. Kei felt awkward since he was not used to crowds but as time goes on he was blending well. It was easier for him to talk to them because they were nice and was really mature towards any topic.
But then there are also group of people who were just first year in university and was a little inconsiderate towards their words and actions. They were insensitive enough to asked questions instantly towards Kei without consider what will he think about it. They asked him things like where was his injured and what happened to his right leg. Kei told them his usual story which was he met an accident when he was young and that's the result of it. He was enjoying the party but to talk non stop was really tiring and draining his energy. He sit down first and eat something when Yuri sit next to him with a plate full of every food served.
"Are you enjoying Kei-chan?" Yuri asked him.
"Yeah I am… but since I am not really use to many people talking nonstop was draining my energy." Kei answered. "But this was a nice experience… meeting new people and so."
"I hope Yabu-sempai was here, I am sure he will enjoy this too. That guy really didn't want things like this. He never attend parties conducted by this apartment and he was really never close to anyone." Yuri said. "It took me months before I become closer to him but I can't say were really that close now but he was open to me compare to the past. He was unapproachable and he always emit this atmosphere saying that you should not talk to me and don't care about it. He was really in a bad state."
"Why will he do that?" Kei asked curiously but deep inside his mind he already have knowledge of what could be the possible reason and he just wanted to confirm it. Kota ones told him that he was just a first year student and he stopped school for 3 years. He seems aloft as well and didn't talk that much like he used to. Honestly, he can see that Kota have this dark aura surrounding him and he think the same way as Yuri told a while ago. Kota didn't want to be disturbed, he didn't want people to approached him and he wanted to be all alone. He was drawing a wall between him and all the people.
"I am not sure but it seems like he was regretting something he did before. Maybe he hurt someone he really care the most or something related to that. He always said that he didn't deserved to be happy and locked himself to his unit all the time. He drown himself with alcohol and he didn't care about his health. He looks like an old man with his beard growing all over his face. He can't sleep well because of his insomnia or maybe he always have nightmare at night. There were times that he was shouting by himself, scattering things inside his apartment. There was also a moment where he was caught cutting his wrist. Sempai was really in a bad state that even his parents didn't know what to do." Yuri told him. "He was really in a terrible state like no one can save him anymore."
It was Kei's first time to hear everything and he can't deny that it really affected him. Considering the situation Kota was in, it might possible that he regret what he have done 3 years ago and so he was punishing himself that way. But that assumption have no proof and even knowing that he regret what he did it can't erase the fact that he still did it and he hurt someone's feeling because of his selfish and unwanted desire to live. If Kota's words were real that night that he was drunk, he can conclude that he was threatened, that if he will not do that he will be killed. But he didn't hear those guys tell that to him and so can he really believe that?
"But then all of a sudden he went back home in a new state. That time that he went to Katagawa, he seems resurrected again. Just after that he said that he will going to attend university. It was a surprised but at the same time I am really really happy for him." Yuri continued with delights in his eyes like he was excited to tell the positive side of the story.
Katagawa was the place Kota and him have their fated meeting. Is Yuri talking about that?
"Yuri, I have a question for you."
"What?"
"If someone betrayed you and this time he was being nice to you what will you do? What will you think the reason of his actions?"
"Well… maybe he wanted to repay for what he have done?" Yuri answered unsurely. "Yeah I am a positive individual so I think that way."
"Will you forgive?" Kei asked him seriously.
"I will not." Yuri mumbled but then he smiled back to him and giggled a little "Forgiveness was different to each individual. There are people who can forgive easily and there are people who can't. it depends to the other party to judge the situation and the people involved. Is he worthy to be forgiven or not? That is what I believe. I am a type of person who can't forgive easily but I know Kei-chan is the other one."
"You think I am the kind hearted one?" Kei wondered.
"Yup… the world needs a person like you to balance it's humanity." Yuri answered with confidence. "And also I wanted Yabu-sempai to be forgiven… I hope whoever that someone who was making him like that… he will forgive him. I don't know but… even I am just a stranger I can feel sempai's sincerity and honesty to his actions. Whatever he do in the past I am sure he didn't meant that to happen."
Kei felt that Yuri's words was meant for him and even it was easy to say, It was hard to do. Even knowing everything he can't trust Kota yet but maybe one little push will made him forgive him. Yuri was right, he can feel Kota's sincerity as well. He was doing his best to be kind to him and he can feel that he was being protected. He was sorry about what he did, he regret it that he ended up locking himself to the world for 3 years. Kota's life might be a hell but then… is that enough to forgive him? What does Kota's words means when he overheard his conversation with his friend? Why did he said that anyway?
They continued talking when the working girls approach them and asked Kei to have a drink even one glass. Kei can't say no and so he tried to take one in one gulp. That cocktail taste good and so he tried more glasses but after the 6th he can already feel the alcohol affecting him. He wanted to go back to his room already and so Yuri volunteered to accompany him but when they went out of the room both of them was surprised when they saw Kota standing there.
"Sempai, what are you doing here?" Yuri asked. "Are you here for the party?"
"No… I am here to pick Kei." Kota answered honestly. "Is he drunk?"
"He have some cocktail and it seems like it was affecting him already. Can you bring him to his apartment? I still wanted to stay here." Yuri asked and Kota agreed instantly so the young guy goes back inside leaving the two alone together. Kei started to walk on his own but he was struggling. Kota walk to his side waiting for his support but Kei didn't go to the elevator but went to the stairs going to the rooftop. His movements was wobbling but he was sane enough to do things that he want. He was surprised that Kota came but learning things about him made him a little hesitant of what he should do now. He was not bad enough to ignore Kota's effort.
He reached the rooftop with an intention to confirm something. When he drink every glass of the cocktail offered to him, an idea reach his mind on how Kota can win his trust and maybe it was the only way to prove his loyalty to him. It's an all or nothing situation, he need to risk something in order to gain but… can he really gain something from it?
Looking up, he saw a thousand stars glittering in the deep velvet of a night with a half moon smiling on him. It was a beautiful sight and its presence unintentionally cheering him on. He just wanted to know what Kota was thinking about him and depending on his actions lies if he was forgiven or not.
"Kei, you should go back to your room. You're drunk right?" Kota commanded him but he didn't weaver. He faced him straight, determined to know the truth to him.
"Kota… can you remember what you told me last night?"
Kota paused for a moment, his eyes looking downward. "I can't… I'm sorry. Did i… tell you something weird?"
"You did." Kei answered honestly. "You apologized which something I can't understand. Did you do something to me? Did you do something to hurt me before?"
Kota's eyes expanded larger than normal. He was obviously shocked with what Kei asked. "I… I didn't."
Why was Kota pretending? Why can't he tell it to him directly? He wanted to fixed things between the two. He wanted Kota to be honest with him because if he just apologized to him without being drunk, with just being in his own self then there is a big possibility that he can accept Kota back again, that he can embrace him back to his life . "Then what does those apology means? Your words when you drunk doesn't mean anything? Is that what you wanted to tell me?" Kei blurted out. "Why don't you be honest with me even for ones?" he snapped but he gasped when he realized he was saying something he should not.
"I’m sorry." Kota replied. "I really can't remember what I told you last night but whatever it is… I wanted you to forget about it. I am… just emotionally unstable yesterday and so I drunk and when I reached that state I tend to say something I should not."
Kei bite his lower lips while struggling to prevent his tears from flowing. He knew that Kota was lying because he was not looking at him straight to the eye. What's wrong with Kota? Why can't he be honest with him? Why can't he really tell him his true feelings? Why do he need to lie over and over again. He was getting tired of it. He wanted to punch the truth out of him. he wanted to know what he was really feeling and not to hide it with a lie. It's not about he can't trust him anymore, it's about the fact that Kota can't trust him and so he was not showing him and telling him the truth. He looked away and wipe the tears that almost falls from his eyes.
He held a deep breathe, collecting all his courage for what he was planning to do. He wanted to tell Kota the truth that he doesn't have amnesia and he was just deceiving him. He knew that it was risky but it can prove that he can trust Kota. There are two things that might happen if he reveal the truth. First is that he can prove that he can trust Kota since if he found out the truth and he didn’t tell it to his other mates then that means he doesn't plan on betraying him again. Second is that the other members will found out that he was alive and his life will be in danger again. He was the only strong witness of what happened that night. He knew everything that happened and how they killed Sakura and so if Kota spit the truth to his mates then it will the end for him.
"Kota… I'm going to tell you something."
"What is it?"
There's no turning back anymore, it's now or never. He wanted to clear everything already because he was tired of thinking it over and over again. Is Kota his ally or his enemy? Is he on his side or not? Deep inside he wish that Kota choose him. He wish that he will not betray him again.
"Actually I… I don't really have…" Kei started. His whole body was shaking in nervousness plus the eyes that were waiting for him to say the words was engulfing him more sending pulse of fear in every part of his body. Hesitation started to reach his mind one by one but he was still determined to do it. "Kota…I… I don't have…" he repeated but he was startled when Kota's phone started to sing a Chopin music.
Kota put out his phone and took a look on the screen. The expression on his face change upon seeing who it was. He excused himself for a moment to answer the call which Kei give permission to do so. He pumping heart was having a incoherent battle inside and because of the interruption he became more half hearted to tell the truth.
He was watching Kota from his position. He was answering the call a little too far from him as if he was being cautious of not being heard by a third party. Is it an important call coming from someone important? He can see him clearly and his he was sure that expression on his face shows that he didn't want what was going on. Is it someone he hate? Is it someone he didn't want to hear his voice? Why is he so interested to know?
The call ended and Kota came approaching. The expression on his face didn't change and worst it was more intensified like he was troubled and in fear. "Kei… I need to go. So…something urgent happened and so…"
"I…it's fine." Kei answered hiding his disappointment about what happened but maybe it's fine as well. While watching Kota from the other end, hesitation started to dropped one by one. What if Kota betrayed him again? Can he take it for the second time? Is he prepared of what will happen? Will he be alright? He was not sure and so he didn't know how to answer those questions.
"Whatever you wanted to tell you can tell me later… I'm sorry if I can't help you go down. I'll call Yuri to help you."
"I told you it's fine… go… you're in a rush right?" he said calmly.