I don't - eurgh, I'm sorry for all that follows. I don't think myself worth the friends I have, therefore I fight to keep them and forgive far more than I should. And that's not healthy and it's not doing me any favours. And while I'm moving on and making friends that actually seem to care about me, there are still people I cling to that probably don't even respect me any more, since I've shown how easily I will roll over.
Meh. I'll be here most of the time going: "dude, that bitch ain't your friend" for most of that. Unless you have a major personality reversal and we fight or something.
It's hard for me to define "friends," sometimes, because whenever I, say, get a job I always wind up getting along with almost everybody there. What I don't do is hang out with them. I don't hang out with anybody in real life except two people--one who is in Florida, another who's busy with her own life. Online, on LJ, the definition of friendship is trickier. We have a "friends" list, but are we really friends with these people or do we just like reading their journals
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This is an incredibly mature and worthwhile attitude to take on things, really; it's also something that takes a long hard road with lots of bitterness and anger on several sides before you get to the point where you can see the validity of it. *sigh*
I think . . . everybody starts out treating their Best Friends like that - like they're in a relationship. (This, I wholeheartedly believe, is where a lot of the "BFF = OTP" issue in a lot of fandoms comes from - because for a lot of people, the notion that the Best Friend is in a totally platonic form of what would otherwise be a serious relationship is the norm, you know? And I think a lot of people, whether they're aware of it or not, grok that this kind of behavior really isn't the way real best friends act.) It takes a lot of time and a lot of angst to realize your best friend is not your lifemate. They are just the friend you know best, and that's okay - why would you want to ask for more? You don't always have to be best friends with the same person - people do in fact move
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I don't - eurgh, I'm sorry for all that follows. I don't think myself worth the friends I have, therefore I fight to keep them and forgive far more than I should. And that's not healthy and it's not doing me any favours. And while I'm moving on and making friends that actually seem to care about me, there are still people I cling to that probably don't even respect me any more, since I've shown how easily I will roll over.
SOMEONE FIND ME A SPINE!
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It's hard for me to define "friends," sometimes, because whenever I, say, get a job I always wind up getting along with almost everybody there. What I don't do is hang out with them. I don't hang out with anybody in real life except two people--one who is in Florida, another who's busy with her own life. Online, on LJ, the definition of friendship is trickier. We have a "friends" list, but are we really friends with these people or do we just like reading their journals ( ... )
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I think . . . everybody starts out treating their Best Friends like that - like they're in a relationship. (This, I wholeheartedly believe, is where a lot of the "BFF = OTP" issue in a lot of fandoms comes from - because for a lot of people, the notion that the Best Friend is in a totally platonic form of what would otherwise be a serious relationship is the norm, you know? And I think a lot of people, whether they're aware of it or not, grok that this kind of behavior really isn't the way real best friends act.) It takes a lot of time and a lot of angst to realize your best friend is not your lifemate. They are just the friend you know best, and that's okay - why would you want to ask for more? You don't always have to be best friends with the same person - people do in fact move ( ... )
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... Really, the point of this comment is so I can do this part:
I live in continual fear that people are just pretending to like me.
SOMEBODY ELSE! I'M NOT ALONE.
But yeah. You're pretty frikkin awesome.
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