Of Essays and Destiny. Part 3
Tu ne quaesieris, scire nefas, quem mihi, quem tibi finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios temptaris numeros. Ut melius quicquid erit pati!Seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare Tyrrhenum, sapias, vina liques et spatio brevi spem longam reseces. Dum loquimur, fugerit invida aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
Horace, Carmina
Merlin felt he couldn't just knock on his college room's door and make himself at home at Arthur's. According to him it would have been a little inappropriate, however much Arthur argued that they had no reason to hide.
So they met on neutral grounds, since Merlin preferred it so.
The next week, on a Saturday as it happened, they took the coach to London, so as to be able to get out of Oxford where everybody knew everybody and rumours would spread very easily. Arthur didn't want anything to influence Merlin's choice.
They meant to stay the night and take the train back on Sunday evening; Merlin would visit his mum in the late afternoon but the rest of the time would be theirs. They'd go to the zoo, Merlin had offered. “I like these outings with you,” he'd said on the phone.
Arthur would have rather secreted himself in a room with Merlin and never got out, but though he was sure Merlin liked him that way, he was also certain that Merlin would give in only given a little more time, more of a connection.
Arthur hoped Merlin would see that Arthur was being serious, that this was not something that would go away after a night spent together. Once Merlin was sure of where he stood with Arthur, he'd be more ready to bear the rumours' backlash, should there be any.
So Arthur set out to charm Merlin.
In a way it was going to be very difficult because Merlin was older and had every reason not to give in to their mutual attraction. Arthur had always had it rather easy with the people he liked. Mostly they'd liked in him in return. He'd just had to flash a smile, present a flower, say something witty, and he had them at his feet and later in his arms. But Merlin... Merlin was different.
But it also was very easy because Merlin had charmed Arthur back and now Arthur wanted to impress him. Spending time with Merlin was easy.
“So which part of the zoo do you want to see?” Arthur was already envisioning zebras and giraffes or maybe the gorillas; instead Merlin said, “I want to see the aquarium. They've got coral reef species. I'll never see a real coral reef, and I like colourful fish, more than as a screen-saver, I mean.”
Arthur agreed to see the aquarium, though he was convinced it was the lamest section of the whole zoo. But Merlin gaped and was fascinated by the most colourful specimens. He pointed them out to Arthur and said, “I wish I could take diving lessons and seen them from up close.”
Arthur took his hand. “I know of a place.”
Merlin pressed his fingers. “It's just a dream.”
Arthur stepped behind Merlin to wrap his other arm around him, while never letting go of his hand. “Just seize the day,” Arthur said.
Merlin leant against a rail and bent his head. “Horace, Arthur? I didn't make you out to be a classics student.”
“I don't even know what it fully means,” Arthur said. “But I want to.”.
Later that night, they tumbled into Arthur's hotel room and Arthur kissed Merlin, slowly but thoroughly, making it sweeter than any encounter he'd ever had.
He licked at Merlin's lower lip, nibbled on it, before he was allowed inside where it was warm and slick. The kissing made his heart stammer, his emotions heightened, lust fighting for dominance over affection.
Arthur slid his hands up Merlin's front, under his shirt, feeling warm skin as they danced around the room, kicking shoes off, drunkenly devouring each other's mouths. Merlin was warm to the touch. He was angular too.
And then he was touching Arthur back, pushing him around, lifting up his shirt. Arthur decided he had a right to touch back, so he pulled Merlin's shirt right over his head, messing his hair up irretrievably, trailing his hands across Merlin's torso and chest, till he swept them across Merlin's sides and Merlin sighed against his mouth.
“You like being touched,” Arthur said, running the tips of his fingers down Merlin's spine.
“Everybody does,” Merlin said.
“I like the way you react then,” Arthur said.
“You're one cocky boy,” Merlin told him, but he undid his belt, which meant he wasn't all that angry or put out.
“Again with this boy thing!” Arthur said, pushing Merlin on the bed. “You're not that much older than me.”
He set out to prove that he was quite experienced, kissing Merlin's stomach on the way down to the waistband of his jeans, raising shivers wherever his lips landed.
Merlin's in-take of breath was a delight to hear; Arthur actually felt his muscles jump. Merlin's ribcage expanded and Arthur was content.
He kissed upwards again, wanting to protract things, laying his lips to Merlin's neck, to shower them with kisses and nibbles.
He felt Merlin's body respond with a strong surge, hips bucking as Arthur tried to press him down, while he eased his own jeans and underwear off.
Merlin unbuttoned his jeans and arched up for him when Arthur pulled them down his legs, leaving him in boxers.
Excited, Arthur reached down to trace the outline of Merlin's erection through the fabric; pressed his palm flat against him and stroked slowly. Merlin groaned deep in his throat.
Liking the sound, Arthur explored the contours with his fingertips.
When Merlin hissed, Arthur knew Merlin was losing control. So he yanked the boxers off him, and Merlin's cock sprang free, leaking at the tip, looking red and angry, a bit funny and a lot hot.
“Shall I do something about this?” he teased.
Merlin leant up on his elbows and took his mouth. “Yes,” he panted into it when he was done kissing him filthily.
“What should I do?” Arthur said airily. “I wonder.” He squeezed and tugged, leaning down to kiss the tip of Merlin's twitching cock.
Merlin's little bitten-off “ah” was very promising; his legs falling open, emboldened him.
Arthur sucked on the tip, nosed the underside, then licked up a stripe, just to close his lips around the head. He suckled and Merlin's hips twisted under him, one hand flying to clamp around Arthur's shoulder while the other twisted the sheets.
Arthur put a hand on Merlin's knee, pushing his legs wider apart.
Breathing out before doing it, he shifted down the bed and positioned himself so he could lick lower still. But he had to acknowledge the position wasn't one of the best, so he sat up again - to Merlin's undying protests - to grab a pillow. He shoved it unceremoniously under Merlin's hips.
“How did you know?” Merlin croaked.
Arthur just went to work again, preening a bit for having guessed what Merlin would like best.
He worked his way down between Merlin's long, twiggy legs, lifting one over his shoulder so he had better access, pulling his cheeks apart.
Merlin stilled, body going taut. To see what would happen, Arthur blew hot breath over Merlin's hole, feeling it as Merlin's thigh muscles quivered, before pushing his tongue against it.
He nosed there, kissing, and Merlin's lower body almost levitated off the mattress, Arthur having to push him down to keep him from flailing too much. Diving in again, he worked his tongue in, moved it back and forth and then inside.
Still shaking and breathing deeply, Merlin pushed himself against Arthur's lips, till Arthur's tongue was thrusting inside in quick, jabbing in and out motions, loosening him up only to relent a little when Merlin started raving, panting like a racehorse, sounding like a man did was when he was in pain, while the wet moans and low grunts that came out of his mouth made Arthur want to push a hand between his own legs and pull.
He waited though, waited long enough to calm down a little, before he started again, wanting Merlin undone.
If the ragged noises Merlin was making were anything to go by, he was succeeding. Just a little more, he told himself.
It was worth it because Merlin, always smiling, challenging, wide-eyed and innocent, had never seemed like someone who could get like this, be this, unchecked and wild.
He pushed his tongue deeper inside, as far as it would go, and laved Merlin open, till he was wet with spit and Arthur couldn't really wait any more because Merlin was shouting at the ceiling, his hips literally writhing.
Arthur slid his tongue inside once more as deeply as he could then pulled out to lick and suck at the muscle rim.
Merlin shouted something incoherent and probably profane.
Finally, mercifully, Arthur reached to close his hand over Merlin and stroked him from base to tip as he laid one last kiss on the tip of his cock.
Then Merlin was pulsing into his hand, body taken over by little shivers.
Arthur was now wild for it. He lifted his head, kissed Merlin's hip and nosed his pubic hair, slowly licking Merlin clean, tongue darting bravely along the length of Merlin's spent cock.
Merlin's hiss made him stop. Using the time Merlin needed to recover to put a condom on and slick himself up well and good, he wedged his hips between Merlin's legs. “Merlin?” he asked.
Merlin nodded his head, and Arthur slid inside in one slow motion, bracing himself over Merlin.
He'd been about to burst for a while now, so he didn't know how long he'd last, knew he wouldn't be hitting a record.
He managed to pull out and rock back in twice before he felt it hit him, ebbing all over. He slammed in, hips jerking sideways and then he was coming even though he'd wanted it to last longer, would have wanted to call it back and savour the feeling of Merlin gripping him tight, but he could no more do that than he had power over time passing.
He went slack jawed, closed his eyes and let it wash over him, later crumbling over Merlin, boneless and tired.
“See,” he tried to mumble. “'m younger but can teach you a thing or...”
Merlin laughed softly, hitting him on the shoulder, leg sliding down to rub against the length of Arthur's.
Arthur frowned. “Who?” he asked.
“Doesn't matter,” Merlin said gently. He pushed Arthur off him, causing him to slip out.
He turned on his side and wrapped an arm around Arthur's waist.
“It does,” Arthur said, studying Merlin's crinkling and narrowed eyes.
Merlin shook his head, sliding his hand up Arthur's side, making him want all over again. “It doesn't because I've never dared like this for anyone else before. A fresher...” He rubbed Arthur's shoulder, petting him. “Didn't know I had it in me to risk... this. For anyone.” He lowered his gaze, “But you, apparently, are different.”
“Oh,” Arthur said.
****
I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man.
Lawrence, D. H., The Selected Letters of D. H. Lawrence
Arthur had passed a full week on cloud nine, spending all the free time he had with Merlin. Some nights he was to be found at Merlin's flat. When he stayed over for the night, he tended to wake Merlin up very early to drag him along for morning runs that were just an excuse to snog sleepy, red-eyed Merlin.
The sex was fantastic and regular. They weren't always in synch, Arthur being sometimes overly enthusiastic while Merlin reverted to his I shouldn't be debauching you stance. But they clicked more often than not. It was never a race, never a battle. They had fun romps that had an edge of, dare he say, sweetness to it. They made him feel as if he was with somebody who liked him, Arthur, first, performance aside.
It was a Thursday morning a couple of weeks into their relationship. Arthur had planned on meeting Merlin at a café down the street. Arthur wanted to show him the final draft of his essay since Gaius was back from Germany and he'd have to hand it in in five days, had a meeting set and all. (And snatch a kiss or two.)
He was negotiating his bag, a handful of small change and a hot Belgian waffle, when his blood turned cold at the sight of Soph sharing Merlin's table.
Arthur wasn't one of those people who got easily alarmed. But he knew Soph. She was capable of messing up someone's relationship for kicks and wouldn't have been caught dead in Merlin's unglamorous presence but to wreak some havoc. So the feeling of unease he was suddenly experiencing wasn’t so strange
He marched up to them and caught the tail end of Soph's words. “So you see how we can reach an agreement. It would be very unfortunate if we didn't.”
Merlin looked ashen and ashamed. He was nodding, miserable. “That's... yes. I don't.”
Arthur put his waffle down on the table, not caring about its loss. “Soph, what are you doing here?”
“Having breakfast, Arthur,” she replied tersely.
“Breakfast?” Arthur asked. “With Merlin?”
“Yes, he gave me some insight on an aspect of Chaucer I wanted to study for one of my essays.”
Arthur snorted. “I'm sorry, but I don't believe you.”
Soph adjusted her ponytail. “You will have to, I'm sorry.”
Arthur turned to Merlin. “Merlin, what did she tell you?”
Merlin was looking at his clenched fist on the table. His Adam's apple plunged up and down in his throat. “Nothing, Arthur, she...” It seemed to Arthur that he couldn't speak anymore, as if the words were stuck in his throat. They both knew Merlin was lying. The question was why.
“Merlin,” Arthur said, his stomach twisting. “Merlin, please.”
Merlin addressed Sophia instead. “Could you give us some time to discuss this in private?”
Sophie pouted. “Yes, of course,” she said fake amiably. “Just remember.” She picked up her bag and other personal belongings. “What we said about the essay.” Then, she sauntered away, waving Merlin a defiant bye-bye.
Arthur took the seat she'd just vacated. “Merlin…”
Merlin shook his head. “Arthur, Arthur, I don't want to but I have to break up with you.”
“No!” Arthur said angrily. “What did she tell you? Whatever she said was a lie. I'm not...”
“I can't risk this, Arthur,” Merlin said. “Not my heart and not the rest. I still have ethics left somewhere.”
“But,” Arthur objected, gripping the edge of the table. “What could she have said?”
Merlin shook his head; he was being quite stoic though his eyes were a little wet. “I shouldn't have, Arthur, and what she did say put things in perspective.”
“That's ridiculous,” Arthur scoffed. “Whatever she implied, she's just not used to not having her way. She'll learn one day, but don't let her spoil this in the meanwhile.”
Merlin bit his lip. “Arthur,” he said, pushing his chair back to stand. “I'm sorry. I don't want to... You mean a lot to me, but I just can't.”
“Merlin!” Arthur shot to his feet. But Merlin had already moved past him and reached the door. Arthur had just been dumped and he didn't know why.
****
“Yet he was jealous, though he did not show it, For jealousy dislikes the world to know it”
Byron, G. G., Don Juan, Canto I
A week passed. Arthur called Merlin repeatedly but got no reply. He texted him, mailed him, and even went to the length of knocking on his door, to be faced by Gwen telling him that Merlin was at the library and wouldn't be back for hours.
Naturally, Arthur didn't believe a word of that, just knew that Merlin was refusing to see him, tell him why he'd been ditched. All that talk about ethics had made Arthur suspect his being dumped depended on Merlin's ideas of morals, but he was no closer to being enlightened than he'd been on the day he'd spotted Sophie at Merlin's table.
So thinking, he decided skip his meeting with Gaius - the final handing in of his essay -- to have a chat with Soph herself. She was devious when she wanted to be, but she was also defiant. If pushed, she wouldn't back away from admitting the truth.
So he cornered her outside class. “What did you tell him?” he hissed, grabbing her by the arm and leading her to a corner where it wasn't likely they'd be overheard.
“The truth and nothing but,” Soph brushed him off.
Arthur let go of her and growled. “And what would that be?”
“That his seducing you was very problematic,” she said proudly. “He was tutoring you and what he did was highly unethical.” She leant against the window alcove. “Besides I mentioned that you were likely to want relationships with people your own age, like...”
Arthur could see how that would have worked on Merlin's sense of duty. “If anything, I pressured him for it. He knows that.”
“It's still very shady, Pendragon,” Sophie reminded him. “Besides, you do have a thing going with Elena; you wouldn't want to make the poor girl suffer.”
Arthur felt like punching a wall, “You know that's not true.” He considered Soph's words and looked at her satisfied smile. “Wait,” he said, “you didn't tell him about Elena? You didn't make him believe that... You would, wouldn't you?”
Soph replied, “I don't know what you're talking about, Arthur. I simply expressed an opinion. If he decided that what he was doing was wrong and dumped you, then he acted on his own.” Her tone was level, but Arthur was sure there was something she was leaving out.
“Soph,” he cautioned her.
“I have nothing to do with his leaving you for the MCR barista,” Soph said, smiling sweetly.
Arthur reeled. It wasn't possible, was it? She was pulling one on him. Merlin wasn't with Gwaine. Had never even mentioned him during the time he'd been with Arthur.
“I hear they're doing the OUDS play together as the leads of A Beautiful Thing,” Soph told him. “You know that 90s play about two boys massaging each other, snogging and falling in love? I think this other guy, the one originally meant to play Jamie, broke his leg or something and Merlin took over for him. Dr Sigan, who's directing, was happy since it'd be all the more genuine with the two of them being... you know…”
Arthur didn't know what to believe. On the one hand, he was fairly certain Sophie had let Merlin think he and Elena had something going. On the other, it stood to reason to think that Merlin, being a little older, didn't see him as something serious and hadn't been too upset at the news.
Maybe he'd moved on and marched back into the arms of his friend with benefits. Arthur's hopes crumbled.
Sophie patted his shoulder. “It's all going to be for the better,” she said.
Arthur didn't see it that way. He practically grunted something about needing to go and go and see the OUDS rehearsals.
Arthur found out from a theatre student that the rehearsals for the new OUDS play would take place at the Keble College theatre.
As far as theatres went, the O' Reilly was really small. A raised dais stood for the stage and a number of rows of chairs provided the seating. They were using no lighting or costumes. There were just two people on stage, Merlin and Gwaine, the director, Doctor Sigan, sitting on a chair close by.
There was a tiny bed in the middle of the 'stage' and Merlin and Gwaine were both on it, Gwaine relaxing face down on it, while Merlin massaged what Arthur supposed would have to be make-up created bruises on his, or rather his character's, back.
From the brief scene Arthur deduced the play's main theme was sexual awakening.
What Arthur saw, however, was a shirtless Gwaine, a happy to touch Merlin and sexual tension that could be cut with a knife. Arthur had no doubt those two had been intimate with each other, acting or no.
When the scene was over, the guy who was acting as director stepped on the dais, and clapped both Merlin and Gwaine on the back. He was telling them to be there next week at four in the afternoon for the next rehearsal. Then he told Merlin, “Thank you for taking over from Stewart or we'd be lost.”
Merlin said, “This was a nice distraction. It’s been more than a year since I last helped with a OUDS play. It's totally okay.” Then he met Arthur's eyes and asked the Dr Sigan if he could go. The man nodded and Merlin stepped down the dais and mounted the auditorium stairs to meet Arthur, leaving a confused Gwaine behind.
“I'm sorry I avoided you,” Merlin said when he'd come face to face with Arthur.
Arthur nodded, jaw fiercely locked.
“I did the only possible thing,” Merlin continued.
Arthur wasn't in a mood to hear about any of that. “Are you with him?”
Merlin shot him a befuddled look. “What?”
“Are you with Gwaine? Is that why you dumped me?” Merlin was shaking his head from side to side. He kept doing it till he saw Gaius appear in the auditorium.
Arthur followed his line of sight and assumed the prof was there to reprimand him for having skipped their scheduled supervision hour. Crap. He was busy thinking up excuses, while Merlin blurted out, “Yes, yes, I'm with Gwaine.” He fished for words, which he conveyed in a pained tone. “I'm with him because... because he's my age.”
This way he broke Arthur's heart only to duck away before Gaius could come up to them.
“Hello, Mr Pendragon,” Gaius said “I didn't think I would have to chase truant university students. And why was Merlin in such a hurry to go?”
Arthur didn't have an answer for that. He only watched Merlin's disappearing back and felt all the bitterness of having seriously fallen for the first time with someone who'd just dismissed him as a kid.
Yeah, this was a very bad day then. No chance of ever winning Merlin back.
****
Speak low if you speak love.
Shakespeare, W. Much Ado About Nothing - Act 2, Scene 1
The week-end was looming on the horizon and Arthur couldn't face the prospect of meeting any of his friends or sticking around to stay pent up in his room. Oxford was stifling; besides he was sure that with his luck he'd run into the happy couple if he hung around. Especially on a Friday night. And he wasn't ready for that yet.
He was angry, but the anger wasn't enough to bury either the jealousy or the deep feeling of loss he was experiencing. All of this was more difficult to bear because he refused to wear his heart on his sleeve, refused to play it as though he was afflicted and sad, but he wasn't in the mood for social inanities either. Couldn't possibly go out, meet his friends and act as though nothing had happened.
This led him to pack up a duffel and a school bag and take the train - well more like two train changes were involved -- up to Kingston where his father's stately house was. He called this a strategic retreat. He'd be back in Oxford in a few days, pleading he'd been sick and had needed to see the family doctor. Or something.
He took an early morning train and brooded on his way through to two changes. He brooded till he landed on his own doorstep, or at least on Father's.
He was ushered into the house by the head butler, Geoffrey, and was told the lord of the manor was up in London for business but would be back toward the evening.
Arthur sighed out loud and climbed the stairs back into his old room. It had been months since he'd last seen it, but pretty much everything was exactly as he'd left it even though it was clear someone had dusted it and kept it clean.
And had even changed the sheets, Arthur found when he head-dove for the bed and smelt them. Fresh from the laundry.
He spent his first day back home idling, wandering from the TV room to the indoor garden, to the kitchen and then sought refuge upstairs again.
He tried reading, but by now he'd associated the whole concept of literature with the idea of Merlin and wasn't eager to be reminded. When father made it back home, Arthur thundered down the stairs.
“Arthur,” Father said. “What are you doing here?”
“I felt like coming back home for a few days,” he said, shrugging his presence off as something entirely normal.
Father handed his briefcase to Geoffrey and signalled to Arthur to follow him into his study. Arthur did.
Father sat on the armchair there and offered Arthur the seat opposite his. “So,” he said, pouring himself some whisky from the decanter that stood proudly on the side table. “How are your studies going?”
“I handed in my first essay and it was approved.” It was the truth. After the O' Reilly meeting with Merlin, Gaius had dragged him back into his office for a review of his essay, and he'd approved of it, maintaining that he saw the clear progress there. A critical line of thought that was well argued and backed up by the appropriate bibliography could clearly be extrapolated, he'd said. So Arthur wasn't lying. Merlin had actually helped him.
“Very well,” Father said. “English is not what I would have pushed for but I'm glad you're doing well. It's your duty as a Pendragon.”
“Yes, father,” Arthur said.
“Any other news?” Father asked him, eyeing the evening newspaper. It was clear he wanted to read it and that now that he'd verified Arthur's academic achievements, he thought he was entitled to enjoy himself
Arthur said, “No, nothing new,” and retreated back to his room.
That evening Father and he had dinner together and exchanged a few pleasantries that weren't as terrifying as Uther Pendragon’s usual speeches about duty and career prospects.
The next day was a Saturday. Father spent it at a nearby exclusive club that used to be a gentlemen's club and had only changed that aspect of its status to keep up with the times.
Arthur watched DVDs while Father went out to dinner with a woman Arthur didn't much like. Her name was Catrina and Arthur was pretty sure she was a gold-digger, but he abstained from commenting since it might look like he wanted to keep Father single with an eye to the inheritance.
Arthur had cook prepare him something frugal, which he ate in his room.
On Sunday, Father had a morning tennis match with the local doctor.
Arthur sulked in the drawing room, pretending he was trying to learn how to play the Spanish guitar.
After a Monday spent entirely within the comforting walls of his mansion, Father approached him while Arthur was clattering down the stairs.
“Arthur,” Father said, barring his progress to the drawing room, “something is clearly the matter with you.”
Arthur played stupid. “Nothing is.”
Bowing his head in defeat, Father said, “Something very assuredly is, Arthur. Now we could act as though it's nothing, but I can't bear seeing you moping around all day. You are actually pouting. Look at yourself.”
Arthur might have been pouting, but that didn't mean he wanted to draw anyone's attention to it, specifically Father's. “I'm not.”
“Arthur!”
Arthur tried to move past him, but Father wouldn't budge.
“It's something stupid,” he admitted, hoping this bit of news would satisfy his parent.
“Whatever it is, it's had a terrible effect on you,” Father noted. “You look angry and sad. That's not my son.”
“Maybe I look sad because I have reason to be,” Arthur said. “It'll go away.”
“Arthur, for the last time, what is it?”
Arthur rolled his eyes. He'd better go for broke. “Someone I liked very much dumped me. For someone else. It's not the end of the world. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It happens to everyone.”
Father interrupted him. “I see,” he said in a shrewd and rather terrifying tone. “Very bad, Arthur.”
Arthur knew Father would now scold him. He'd tell him that petty matters of the heart shouldn't bar him from thinking about what mattered, his studies and his future prospects. That he'd better put this behind him quickly and never look back because you couldn't live on romanticism alone.
Father said, “I fought for your mother. I certainly didn't give up at the first difficulty I encountered.”
Arthur was stupefied. Father wasn't usually so accepting or benevolent. He liked this side of him but he had to be honest. “It's complicated. I won’t get him back.”
Father did look surprised but he ploughed on. “Pendragons always win. Go back and get this boy back. If you fail again, then it wasn't for you, but Pendragons aren't cowards. They try.”
“Father...”
“I want to see you out of this house by tomorrow morning.”
Arthur smiled, new hope blooming in his chest.
“And-your next report on your studies had better be as good as this one,” Father cautioned.
“Yes, sir,” Arthur promised, smiled, smiled some more, and then said. “You'll see.” Then he dashed back into his room to pack up and plan.
Tuesday morning saw him back in his room in Oxford. Same old, same old, but this didn't affect him at all. He was determined to get Merlin back. He knew he would because he was sure Merlin had liked him at one time. If Father was ready to accept his feelings and actually egged him on, then anything was possible. He just had to reach out and take it.
Part of his plan to win Merlin back included having flowers delivered at his place. He never got an answer after he had 50 roses delivered at his flat, but that didn't daunt him. He mailed Merlin selected quotes from literary texts. Cheesy romantic lines from any classic worthy of mention.
He started by using Dickens, not the most romantic of chaps, but hey, he was allowed as a lit student.
From: apendragon@oriel.ox.ac.uk
To: emrys@hotmail.co.uk
subject: Let me dare
I love you, I love you, I love you. If you were to cast me off now -- but you will not -- you would never be rid of me. No one shoud come between us.
I think it's appropriate,
Arthur.
He got no answer.
The next day he tried again. This time by tackling what was the issue between them.
From: apendragon@oriel.ox.ac.uk
To: emrys@hotmail.co.uk
subject: Let me dare. Take two.
"Love has no age, no limit; and no death."
That's Galsworthy, Merlin, but I share his, POV.
Arthur.
Again he had no answer. He was thinking that perhaps father had been mistaken and that he was making a fool of himself when Merlin answered the third message he sent him.
From: apendragon@oriel.ox.ac.uk
To: emrys@hotmail.co.uk
subject: Let me dare. Take Three,
Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.
Arthur
From: emrys@hotmail.co.uk
To: apendragon@oriel.ox.ac.uk
re: Let me dare. Take Three.
You do realise she drowned, don't you?
Merlin
From: apendragon@oriel.ox.ac.uk
To: emrys@hotmail.co.uk
re: re: Let me dare. Take Three,
Yes, but it sounds good.
It's very...
From: emrys@hotmail.co.uk
To: apendragon@oriel.ox.ac.uk
re: re: re; Let me dare. Take Three.
Bardish?
That night Arthur went to sleep with a huge smile on his lips. The happy feeling was only fuelled the next day when, quite by chance, he met someone he would have thought would be his nemesis. He would have been, in a tragedy.
Gwaine, that MCR barista, as Arthur had mentally dubbed him, was walking down the High Street with a gorgeous, very leggy, very tall blonde that definitely wasn't Merlin in drag on his arm.
Arthur's ears were ringing when he saw that, so he couldn't refrain from confronting the man.
“So you're cheating on him?”
Gwaine grunted. “I'm sorry, love,” he said to the girl, then he pushed Arthur in a side street and asked. “What the hell are you on about, spoilt boy?”
“Merlin,” Arthur gritted out.
Gwaine frowned in confusion. “Merlin?”
“Yes, Merlin,” Arthur said mockingly. “Your boyfriend, the one you're cheating on with miss model over there,” he gesticulated at the girl in question.
Gwaine burst out laughing. “You can cool down,” he said. “Merlin's not my boyfriend.”
Arthur at first doubted him, but taking a look at Gawaine's relaxed features and stance, he realised the man wasn't lying. But Merlin had said... This made absolutely no sense whatsoever. “He said you two were an item. He told me...”
Gwaine passed both hands through his hair. “Then he lied,” he said. “I can guess why, frankly,” he added, giving Arthur a look that said he didn't like Arthur all that much, probably not at all. “That friend of yours was horrible to him and, quite honestly, you're the last person who should be flinging infidelity accusations left and right.”
Arthur's face heated with rage, an ominous feeling. “I've never seen two people at once, let alone cheated on anyone in my life!” he said with feeling.
“What about that Elena girl Merlin was so sure was perfect for you?” Gwaine asked.
It was Arthur's turn to laugh. “She's my very dear friend. Anything else is...” A thought crossed his mind. “Wait, what horrible girl were you talking about?”
“The pretty one.”
“Soph?”Arthur asked.
“Yes,” Gwaine answered. “She was virtually blackmailing Merlin. I even told him I'd wring her neck for him but he said 'no'.”
“Why would you want to wring her neck?” Arthur asked, dreading the answer.
“Because,” Gwaine said. “She threatened to ruin Merlin's academic career. She said she wanted to go to Bowles and tell him that Merlin had seduced you. Merlin was devastated.”
“Oh, my God,” he swore. “I promise you I never had anything going with Elena. And I care about Merlin. Would never let Soph damage his career. But you've got to... Can you tell me where he is?”
Gwaine looked like someone who wasn't eager to share that kind of info.
“Please.”
“He's at the Bodlean,” Gwaine said. “He needed to read some very specific...”
But Arthur had already darted off.
To get access to the Upper Reading Room, where most literary texts were kept, Arthur had to sign in and get a reading room card. Being a fresher, he was eyed somewhat malevolently by the usher, but let through.
He hurried up the stairs and skidded into the reading room, which was filled with book cases separated by large rectangular windows that afforded the space the light necessary for reading.
Arthur stopped at the doorway, scanning the room for a familiar face. Everybody was bent over their books so at first singling Merlin out wasn't easy.
But then he saw him.
Arthur raced over to him, almost tripping up in his eagerness, and sitting down next to him.
Merlin lifted his head and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw who it was who'd just flopped down.
“Arthur,” Merlin said in a very low voice. “What are you doing here?”
“If it's because of what Soph said,” Arthur cut to the chase, “It's not true. I never was in any kind of relationship with Elena, at least not a romantic one. And as for the other thing, I'll quit. I'll get transferred somewhere else. I can study Economy. I'm pretty good at it anyway. But drop the 'I'm older than you, this is so illicit' act and you know... be with me.”
“Arthur,” Merlin whispered, bending his head and fixing his eyes on the open page before him. “I don't want you to throw your future away for anybody. Me least of all. You're good when you want to be....”
“Gaius doesn't have a say in who I sleep with,” Arthur said, voice getting higher in his desire to convince Merlin. “We discussed this before, you're not evaluating me at any point. I won't need your tutoring anymore. Merlin, don't give this up because you're afraid of what people will think.”
“It's not that!” Merlin hissed.
“Then what?”
“What if she was right and I used my position to my advantage?”
Arthur suppressed a snigger. It wouldn't have helped his cause. “If anything, I seduced you,” he said. “Merlin,” he added sultrily, running his fingers over Merlin's knuckles. “Merlin, I'm going to fight for you.”
Merlin smiled. “Like a knight in shining armour?” he quipped.
Arthur was struck by an idea. He went on his knees and declaimed, “Come on, Merlin, you know I'm a Pendragon and stubborn.”
This was when the monitor marched over to them, thunder-faced. Arthur was so very dead.
“Merlin, don't let me be fortune's fool,” he intoned. “Also give me an answer before I need to flee.” Soon he'd be thrown out.
Merlin burst out laughing. People were getting angry at the increased noise level. They were being too loud for such a hallowed library.
“Arthur, it's not so easy.”
“I'll be banished from fair Verona, Merlin,” he said, pressing his open palm against his heart as he watched the invigilator getting closer.
Merlin's eyes were sparkling with merriment and something else, something warm Arthur wanted to lose himself in. But the monitor pulled him up by his hoodie and growled, “Out.” Very curt and very, very cheesed off. Arthur risked it once more, shouting, “Tis torture, and not mercy.”
“Before I kick you out of here,” the monitor threatened.
But by now they had all eyes on them. People had suspended their studies to hear what Merlin would say. Merlin rose, gave his back to his pile of books and said, “Yes, you great oaf. Yes. I want to be with you. Now cut the public spectacle.”
Someone clapped.
Someone else emitted a sound very close to an “Awww.”
Arthur felt like he could touch the sky. “Farewell, farewell. One kiss, and I’ll descend,” he quoted, straining an arm theatrically toward Merlin.
A girl stood from her reading desk and encouraged Merlin, “Kiss him!”
Soon a chorus of voices was repeating the same refrain, to the monitor's chagrin. “Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss Romeo there.”
The monitor threw up his arms and let go of his hold on Arthur.
Merlin used that chance to wrap his arms around Arthur's waist and kiss him, slanting his lips over Arthur's, his tongue sliding inside. He stroked it inside Arthur's mouth tenderly, softly, slowly, while people clapped and cheered.
“Okay,” the monitor growled when their kiss became even more involved. “Take this somewhere private.”
And they did.
Arthur had Merlin back and nothing would keep him from spending the night with him, and the next one, and the next one.
The End.
Notes:
College lecturers are hired to teach but they aren't necessarily university lecturers. They can be PhD students or have a post-doc .
I am shame/ That walks with Love, I am most wise to turn/ Cold lips and limbs to fire; therefore discern /And see my loveliness, and praise my name.: Arthur is quoting from Lord Alfred Douglas’ poem Two loves. Basically the one that contains the line The love that dare not speak its name
Some of Arthur’s lines in the library scene are from Romeo and Juliet .