Lessons, part I & II. Andy/Patrick (NC-17) (FOB)

[ink_like_blood]

Lessons, or a Series of (Un)fortunate Events in the Life of Andrew Hurley
Andy/Patrick
NC-17
~4000 words
for the ladies and gents of damnyouwentz, who make life worth living. Love to schuyler for the beta. For Sara and Rae, who channel the crack, and Cooper who cooks it up in his basement and sends it to me.

Comments

[violin_road]

So I just got to sit here and eat ice cream and read this, and my roommate's not home so I got to make all the pleased noises and exclaimations of "oh boys!" that I wanted, and basically this just became like the best day ever. Heck yes.

I think this is going to be one of those things where I get the canon and the fanon all messed up in my head, because man, I do not know these boys well enough yet, so they will be eternally cemented as exactly like this.

Also, oh my gosh, I did not realize these kids were so tiny. I mean, they're still older than me, but not by much.

[eleanor_lavish]

Hee! Talking to one's laptop is a wonderful luxury. (And Patrick is a wee one! he and joe are 21. this was set... before.)

Also, canon and fanon are so easily confused in this fandom! I mean, YES pete DOES say cute things about Mikey Way, so it stands to reason that they made out all the time on Warped, right? Right!?

[violin_road]

Well, mine is a desktop, but yes.

Canon and fanon are easily confused for me in most fandoms, let's be honest. I routinely forget if things have actually happened in Harry Potter or not. I mean - leather trousers, that's a no. Wandless magic? I'm not sure.

I don't even have a solo Andy or Patrick icon, so I'm using an icon of my own feet.

[deliberatehips]

Why are you making me love Andy/Patrick? WHY? I am not supposed to love this.

fucking little musical genius cocksucking savant

That shall be the keyword for my next Patrick icon.

*channels tons more crack your way*

Re: I don't even have a solo Andy or Patrick icon, so I'm using an icon of my own feet.

[eleanor_lavish]

somehow the feet icon works. Huh.

And OMG yes. I think that should go ON an icon, actually. or possibly just the words "Deep Throat".

[deliberatehips]

Done and Done.

[eleanor_lavish]

AHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHA!

omg can i steal it for strategic andy purposes?! PERFECT picture too, with the panda just off frame being scandalized.

[tricksterquinn]

Patrick’s hands anchored on his hip and neck like some porny version of 10-and-2.
I lost it right there. That is just... too funny, and too perfect!

The moment with Andy wanting to push Patrick against the wall was hothothot, and totally wrenched me out of the laughter ENTIRELY. Then there was seriouness and even angst and then you set me off again with this:
Andy’s eyes went huge. “I’m not teaching you how to fuck, Patrick. This is really a Pete area.”
Ahh, Pete. *giggles helplessly*
And then Andy's growing desperation as Patrick babbles, getting everything all tense and... then there's the "Just one blowjob!" line, and I died.

You're really unhealthily good at seesawing my emotions. It's great

Andy should have let him go and apologized later.
Yes, yes you should have, Andy. You know better. *loves on*

Andy was so going to hell.Yes. And I'll send him flowers and chocolates and my firstborn to use in trade with demons, like in prison! ...wait

[eleanor_lavish]

Your feedback is like CRACK. jesus. I don't mean for the funny sometimes, but these guys ARE funny, and thats about half of why i like them, so it sneaks in there.

and patrick is the least malicious person alive, so of course he's just 18 and clueless. and Andy is feeling pervy and guilty and OMG GAY WTF, and it can only lead to hot, hot sex. Clearly.

(and I am so glad you liked the 10-and-2 phrase! I laughed at that myself. *grin*)

[tricksterquinn]

Oh, you like that style feedback? I usually start to feel silly and start not commenting on every line I love -- otherwise I end up going "HOMG AND THIS LINE, TOO!!!" at everything in fic I like.
Seriously -- my friends get SO annoyed, because I'll just READ bits. It's terrible. ^_^

This was so TERRIBLY funny, and I adored that about it -- it wasn't, like, self-conciously funny, it wasn't really aware of most of it's own humor - it was just funny because your Andy-voice is full of this intensely funny, snarky, slightly self-depricating wit, and he's just completely at the end of his rope, and it's just hysterical. I LOVE your Andy-voice.

I think I've babbled at you about this -- my problem with most of this fandom is that it doesn't have enough humor, just this kind of background natural amusement that these guys DO have, and that's what I'm looking for in good fic. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Clearly. God, I love these guys. *cheerleaders for them (and for you) liek whoa*

[tricksterquinn]

Read it to my boyfriend. The following convo was worth relating:
Him: "I dunno, if Kurt Cobain was offering you a blowjob..."
Me: "If Kurt Cobain was offering you a blowjob, it wouldn't be because he was a virgin who needed pointers and thought you were firmly in the friend zone!"

[xoverau]

...meep.

*feeds the bunny CRACK*

That. Hot. And with the. And--I could almost SMELL this and with the soft little sounds and Patrick is such a fucking TEASE and--CRACK.

[eleanor_lavish]

But! But! He doesn't mean to be a tease! And Andy would be all *flail omg* if Patrick DID come on to him for real! And yes. Bunnies with teeth this sharp do not need feeding! *slaps your hand*

[eleanor_lavish]

BWAHAHHAHHAHA! Yes.