010 // video

[ingenue_bait]

[The video is of a young man, dressed in some combination of Western and Middle Eastern wear, with a black mask covering his features. He might be in his late teens, he might be thirty--it is difficult to tell. What is immediately noticeable is that, unlike the Erik seen until now, he is... seen. In full view, and apparently comfortable with that

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Private-Video

[thegooddrjones]

Hello Erik, my name is Martha. May I come see ya so we can chat. I'm a friend, and I mean ya no harm.

[ingenue_bait]

So I'm to be sent back without my memories. As I have none, now, of this place. What purpose this serves...

[Erik shook his head, and ate more ice cream.]

Am I so shy? Have I forgotten how to make a living?

[There was something bitter in his voice, but it did not lack humor. He tilted his head at her, black holes behind the mask fixed on her face.]

Do you want to see it?

[thegooddrjones]

We have these things called floods. It's where we go too close to a world and take on waters from it and odd things happen. Things like this happen.

[She gestured to the area between them. She had known that he exhibited himself in order to make money, but she hadn't expect him to be so open with it. Martha shook her head when he asked if she wanted to see it, and she reached over without thinking and placed her hand upon his.]

I want the other you to trust me enough to do it.

[ingenue_bait]

[He wasn't, really. Open with it. He was trying to shock her, to shake her from her patience. To gain some ground through surprise, as he did with his crowds.

He loathed showing his face for money. He was just getting past that. But now he was staring at her hand, still and unmoving. She had won this round. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, beautiful.]

You should not desire such things, Mademoiselle. It is not something I would wish on someone like you. If you are what you seem... do not desire to know me better.

[thegooddrjones]

Erik, I'm promising you, just as I have before, I'm not going anywhere. I'm you're friend and I'm here to help and I will help you as long as you need me to. I've read your file and there's nothing that you've done or will do that will change that. Not even your face. Especially not your face.

[She looked down to the hand on his, and then frowned quickly and pulled it away.] Sorry, I forget sometimes that you don't wanna be touched by anyone.

[ingenue_bait]

[Erik took a deep breath, there suddenly being too much to take in. He flexed his hand.]

Did he tell you that? That I do not wish to be touched?

[He laughed again, decidedly bitter this time. It must be a joke.]

As for what I've done, what have I done but be born and survive as I might? What have I done but have this face? I have committed no other crime.

[thegooddrjones]

Yes.

[Martha spoke the word quickly and simply, watching him as he laughed that more familiar bitter laugh, and she swallowed for a moment.]

Erik, in your later years, you become more angry, more bitter with the world. You... Well, the universe has totally buggered you over with giving you that face, Erik, but what you do because of it; that's what sends you here.

[She paused.]

I know you've killed people, Erik, killed them because you needed to in order to survive. I'm not talking about those sort of deeds. I'm talking about murder for other reasons.

[ingenue_bait]

Sends me here? Am I in prison, mademoiselle?

[He looked away, stiff and still.]

What difference does it make, what I kill for? I see no difference, at this point. It is all survival. The world cares nothing for me--what care should I have for it? If I do become the sort of man who tells you he does not wish to be touched, then the world must have treated me cruelly, indeed.

[thegooddrjones]

No, this isn't a prison. It's a rehabilitation ship. I'm here to help you get a second chance. [The statement was repeated again, and Martha wished that what she would say would go back with Erik. She wished that she could tell him not to let the Shah turn him into someone whom he doesn't need to be.

She leaned over and put her hand on his again, and gave his fingers a squeeze.]

It makes a difference if you do it simply because you like to do it, or because you can do it. Killing for the sake of killing is different than killing to save yourself or someone else, Erik. Really. I wish I could make you see that and remember it.

The world has been cruel, but that's why you're getting a second chance. A chance to do it better, a chance to get it right. You just need to undo what's happened already.

[ingenue_bait]

[He looked back at their hands, his heart beating faster. He was used to being hurt, yet, but he was not yet to a point where it was more fear than denial motivating him.]

They are the same in the eyes of the Church. If I am already damned...

[He fixed her again with his gaze.]

If I will not remember any of this, what is the point? If you are correct, and I am sent back, even if you had the power to sway me you will not. Whatever I will do in the future cannot be undone. It seems a futile exercise.

[thegooddrjones]

Sod the Church and sod the concept of being damned!

[The words were said forcefully, she hated the whole thing of organized religion and how it could be used to harm or to punish or do keep the misfortunate down. She hated how it turned good people into idiots.]

By the very fact that you're here it means that you're not damned!

[When he fixed her with his gaze, she met it, head on.] But you'll remember it when you come back, Erik. You'll remember us having this conversation.

[ingenue_bait]

I am no great believer, mademoiselle. But if the Church is created by Man, then in men's eyes, the offense is still the same. I was damned from my first breath. Perhaps not to Hell--not the sort the priests speak of.

[Would it do him any good? he thought. To remember this. What difference did any of it make?]

But it will be a different man recalling it, won't it? Tell me something, Martha Jones. Do I like you?

[thegooddrjones]

[She couldn't argue with that; Martha had pages of pages of his history etched in twelve point font that told her how unfair it was for him to be born in that time and with those parents and definitely with the face that she had only heard tales of. When he asked if his other self liked her, Martha shrugged a bit.]

I believe so. Well, I hope so. You've showed moments of being concerned that about my welfare during somethings that have happened, so I'm choosing to take that as a good sign.

[ingenue_bait]

"Moments of being concerned." That's high praise, indeed. And I thought I was wary of others' intentions. Why are you so content with so little?

[thegooddrjones]

"Because, Erik, you trust people so little in the future that I know how important of a step it is that you are even concerned about my welfare." She took a deep breath and then released it slowly. "Erik, sometimes you don't even talk about yourself with the word 'I'."

[ingenue_bait]

Erik shrugged. "I am little enough concerned with it now," he said. "I have learned well enough that I am the only one who will look after my own--it is up to the rest of the world to fend for itself."

He frowned, trying to figure out what she was saying.

"What does that even mean?"