ISS 2014: for namikaze_jkc (1/2)
Title: Someone Just Like You
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sungkyu/Myungsoo
Length: 10,039
Summary: Sometimes the only one you want is way out of your reach. Myungsoo is a poor student and Kim Sunggyu is the leader of a popular rock band. Myungsoo supposes it doesn’t get any further than that.
Notes: A big thank you to the one and only Banner to my Stark for the beta and also for not deserting me despite my million dumb questions. Also thank you to K and C for the encouragement. And finally, thank you namikaze_jkc for the lovely prompt that created this amazing world of characters for me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Merry Christmas! (Lyric quotes are from Adam Levine’s No One Else Like You and Sunggyu’s I Need You.)
To: namikaze_jkc
From: Your Secret Santa
‘Cause everyone wants someone
That’s one cliché that’s true
Myungsoo wakes up every morning to a beautiful voice that belongs to a man as beautiful. The man of his dreams, with a voice so sweet, a face so heavenly, and fingers so graceful when they’re dancing on guitar strings… The man of his dreams is, unfortunately, just that.
It’s not a big deal, though. Kim Sunggyu is way out of his league, and Myungsoo knows that. He knows better than to wish his idol will fall in love with him.
Kim Sunggyu, the sexy, charismatic leader of a rock band of which music Myungsoo fell in love with one rainy afternoon. Kim Sunggyu, a man of many talents, who plays the guitar and the piano, who writes all of his songs, who stole Myungsoo’s heart with just his voice that day.
Myungsoo had gotten up from his seat and went straight to the counter to ask whose album the cafe was playing. The barista looked at him like he was weird for not knowing, and simply stated, “Kim Sung Kyu Band”. That was the beginning of Myungsoo’s downward spiral into what people called ‘fandom’.
It is also exactly why Myungsoo is sitting alone at Smoothie King, scribbling on slips of paper. These slips of paper aren’t just ordinary pieces of scrap paper, they hold the key to Myungsoo’s future; to his happiness. Each slip gives him one chance at entering the first fansign the band has ever held since it debuted three years ago. There is just no way Myungsoo would just give up on something as important as this.
To be quite frank, Myungsoo didn’t have high hopes because he would rather not be disappointed should he not get picked for the fansign. If not this time, then next time, right?
No, he isn’t nervous. Myungsoo tells himself that about twenty-eight times as he sits in the audience at the fansign, waiting for his turn to go up on stage. Sure, the camera in his hands provides some kind of distraction from the butterflies in his stomach, but he’s still shaking, and he knows half the photographs are going to come out blurry.
Aspiring photographer Kim Myungsoo, who can’t even keep his camera steady in front of his idol. Myungsoo sighs inwardly. How he is going to become a professional photographer if he can’t even be professional now, he doesn’t really know. In his defense, it is his first time using the f2.8 70-200mm telephoto lens after finally saving enough from the three part-time jobs he holds, and he still isn’t used to the weight yet.
Myungsoo is nervous, not because he hasn’t seen Kim Sunggyu in real life before. It’s the thought of being in such close proximity to him, talking to him, and possibly shaking his hand-most definitely shaking his hand-that has got Myungsoo all fidgety. He hasn’t even thought of what to say! “I love your music”? “I love your singing”? “I love you”?
Everything just sounds so childish. And that is not how Myungsoo wanted to present himself in front of Sunggyu.
The short talk ends, and the fans are getting ushered into a queue line onto the stage to get their albums signed. Myungsoo wonders if the people around him can hear his heart beating so loudly. Then again, most of them are probably feeling the same way he does. The majority of the fans are girls, and suddenly Myungsoo feels out of place as well, worried that people will judge him. On the bright side, maybe Sunggyu will remember him since he’s one out of possibly ten fanboys in the crowd.
Myungsoo shoves his camera into his backpack and clutches onto his album so hard. His heart thumps louder in his ears the closer he gets to the stage, and he doesn’t remember that he was supposed to think of something to say to Sunggyu until he reaches the front of the queue and Sunggyu is just two band members away from him.
Myungsoo panics, and ends up saying nothing to the first member to start signing. He’s still panicking when he reaches the second member, and forgets to shake his hand. Then, it is the moment Myungsoo has been waiting for, the moment he has been losing sleep for ever since the day he looked through the list of fansign winners and saw his name on it.
There are about a million things a fan could say or do in front of their idols, but Myungsoo just stares. Sunggyu actually manages to stare back for a few moments, and Myungsoo thinks this is the best five seconds of his life. Except the next five seconds are even better. Sunggyu looks away to continue scribbling on Myungsoo’s album and-is that a faint blush that Myungsoo detects? Myungsoo’s breath hitches slightly. He has been told a lot that he has a really intense gaze that could unnerve or fluster people. Could it be that the godly and unattainable Kim Sunggyu can also be affected by it?
He doesn’t have time to dwell on that thought because suddenly Sunggyu is done signing on his album and Myungsoo’s supposed to move on to the last member. He lingers, trying to say something-anything-because this is the best chance he has got. Instead their eyes meet again and Sunggyu speaks instead.
“Thank you.”
Sunggyu smiles, and Myungsoo melts. He grins like a fool as he shuffles towards the next member, not even realizing he has forgotten to shake Sunggyu’s hand. Needless to say, Myungsoo melts a second time when Sunggyu suddenly grabs his hand and grips it firmly.
The rest of the event is a blur because Myungsoo can’t focus anymore. He manages to take more pictures once he gets back to his seat, and he thinks Sunggyu might have smiled for his camera a couple of times but there are like a hundred other cameras so Sunggyu probably just takes turns smiling for as many cameras as he can.
Myungsoo remembers nothing of Woohyun, Dongwoo, and Sungyeol-the keyboardist, bassist, and drummer respectively-and feels really bad about it. But, no time to waste harping on what could have been.
Plugging his compact flash memory card into his MacBook, Myungsoo lounges on his bed and starts going through his pictures.
The door opens a minute later and Myungsoo doesn’t even look up from the screen when he says “hi” to his roommate.
“You’re so happy to see me.”
Myungsoo laughs, but still doesn’t look up. “Trust me, I am.”
“Are you looking at porn?”
“It’s honestly good enough to be.”
Hoya rolls his eyes and throws his backpack onto the bed opposite of Myungsoo’s, then casually walks over to stand by Myungsoo’s bed and peeks at his screen.
“Oh, right, you said there was some signing thing today. From that stupid smile on your face, it must have gone well?”
“It was great.” Myungsoo sighs dreamily.
“Okay,” Hoya pushes Myungsoo to make space for himself on the small bed and plops his butt unceremoniously onto it next to Myungsoo, “Tell me everything.”
So Myungsoo does. But only after Sungjong goes over to their dorm room with beers.
Sungjong, Myungsoo’s best friend in the entire universe-along with Hoya, of course, but Myungsoo may argue that Hoya is only his best friend on Earth just to annoy him-who always has the best advice for Myungsoo, even though he’s a year younger.
“You’re hopeless, Kim Myungsoo.” Sungjong says, shaking his head. But he’s smiling as he sips from his bottle.
Myungsoo knows.
For the next three fansigns, Hoya and Sungjong accompany Myungsoo to buy his albums and fill up the ballot slips. Myungsoo makes it to two more out of the three.
Myungsoo’s less nervous now, and he’s more used to his camera setup. He also manages to speak coherently to the other band members, although when it comes to Sunggyu, Myungsoo still can’t find the words.
When Myungsoo opens his mouth to speak, the words die before they even reach his lips. Yet somehow, it is okay. Eyes are, after all, the windows to their souls. Myungsoo doesn’t have to speak at all. Sunggyu holds his gaze for almost the whole time, piercing and intense. Then Myungsoo’s heart starts racing when Sunggyu reaches for his hand.
It’s hard to be a fan, Myungsoo thinks, if every single time you see your idol up close you end up in a bundle of nerves and on the verge of a heart attack. It’s absolutely worth it, of course, but still really hard. How the millions of fangirls do it, Myungsoo would love to find out because he has only seen Sunggyu this close twice and he is already pretty sure his heart cannot take anymore.
“Thank you for coming,” Sunggyu says as he grips Myungsoo’s hand, his other hand scribbling away on Myungsoo’s album sleeve with a black marker.
When he eventually releases Myungsoo’s hand, he flashes a smile at him.
Myungsoo melts.
Later when Myungsoo reaches home, he finally looks through the autographs carefully. All of the members had only written his name just as he had written on the sticky tabs on each page, but Sunggyu’s autograph...
It says “♥Myungsyuu♥ Thank you!”
He misses the second of the three sessions, and wonders if Sunggyu will notice his absence.
On the last one, Myungsoo dies the moment the band appears on stage.
In contrast with their usual style of contemporary street fashion, all four of them are in suits. White shirt, black blazer, black pants...
How are the rest of the fans even alive to be screaming? All Myungsoo can do is stare, camera forgotten in his hands. He is still completely awestruck when the members have taken their seats, ready for the fansign to officially begin.
“Hi Myungsoo!” The keyboardist, Woohyun, is well-known for taking care of their fans, so Myungsoo supposes it’s no big deal that he remembers his name even before looking at the sticky tab. Myungsoo is, after all, one of the few male fans in the audience once again.
“Hi,” Myungsoo says quietly.
“Have you eaten?”
Myungsoo nods.
Woohyun smiles widely. “Good. We’ll see you soon, yeah?”
Myungsoo nods again before shuffling to the next spot. Both the drummer Sungyeol and bassist Dongwoo seem to recognize him as well, and Myungsoo feels like he has finally made it and become one of those fans that he used to be envious of.
His breath catches when he stands in front of Sunggyu. Sunggyu, the band’s perfect leader, who is currently looking ridiculously delicious in that damn suit.
“Hello, Myungsoo.”
Myungsoo dies for the second time that night.
“Hello, Sunggyu hyung.”
“It’s our last fansign for this album.”
“I know.”
“Please wait for us.”
Myungsoo nods. “Of course I will.”
Sunggyu glances up and smiles at him. “Thank you.”
This time, Myungsoo remembers to reach his hand out to Sunggyu, who holds his hand firmly. Myungsoo shakes his head and says, “No, thank you.”
“Hey, you’re the one who bought our albums.” Sunggyu grins. “How many did you buy anyway?”
Myungsoo blinks. “Uh, thirty, each? But I didn’t win yesterday.”
Sunggyu nods. “I know.” He seems to notice Myungsoo’s slight pout after saying he didn’t win for one of the sessions, smiles, and reaches out to ruffle his hair. “See you soon.”
Myungsoo makes a noise in protest, frowning as he pats his hair back into place. “Bye, hyung.”
“Bye, Myungsoo.”
In the next two months that follow, Sunggyu’s band does not have any public activities, and Myungsoo has thrown himself into endless work. Besides the two part-time jobs he now juggles, Myungsoo is also working on his final-year project.
Each day when Hoya returns to the dorm in the evening, Myungsoo would be wrapping up that day’s progress on his project, and just preparing to head out for work.
The two months seemed endless, yet they also passed in a flash. And finally Hoya stops Myungsoo one day.
“Excuse me.”
“No, I’m not going to.”
“What? Why? I have to head to work!”
“That’s exactly why! Kim Myungsoo, you need to take a break.”
“I can’t. I really have to go now. I’ll see you later.”
Myungsoo feels a little apologetic because Hoya genuinely looks worried. But he can’t just skip out on work for no reason. He shuffles towards a frowning Hoya and gently hugs him.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
Hoya sighs.
Myungsoo offers his friend a small smile, glances at the photo frame next to his bed, then turns around and leaves.
The photo frame has been on the wall since the last fansign Myungsoo had gone to, the framed item being the album booklet on which the band members had signed on, but flipped to the page with Sunggyu’s autograph. The message is a lot longer on this.
“To Myungsoo: Let’s go together forever. Always, fighting♥”
Three days later, Myungsoo is forcefully dragged out by Sungjong. Hoya waves cheerfully to him from the door and tells him to have fun.
Myungsoo doesn’t know where Sungjong is taking him, but follows obediently. No one ever goes against Lee Sungjong unless they’re fond of getting the evil eye, which can really be pretty intimidating, even to Myungsoo. It is like Myungsoo’s intense gaze but scarier because it comes with a tinge of evilness.
“We’re here!” Sungjong says brightly.
Myungsoo looks around him and frowns. “A... club.”
“More accurately, my favourite club.” Sungjong points out.
Myungsoo laughs. “Lead the way then.”
Sungjong smiles slyly. “My pleasure.”
Myungsoo knows why Hoya didn’t go along ten seconds after he steps in. His best friend just brought him to a gay club.
“Don’t give me that face, Kim Myungsoo. We all know you’re 200% gayer than I am.”
“That is not true!” Myungsoo protests.
Sungjong rolls his eyes dramatically and pulls him onto the dance floor.
Dancing. Just the way to put off potential suitors when just his face alone would have attracted flocks. Myungsoo sways a bit because that’s the best he can do, and watches Sungjong with his gyrating hips and sexy waves. So much for being 200% less gay. Myungsoo figures he shall just go to the bar and get a drink instead since Sungjong’s already distracted with some tall man who looks like a model.
Then a butt brushes against his and Myungsoo thinks he might have heard a faint “excuse me” despite the loud music. He can recognize that voice anywhere.
Myungsoo turns, and is immediately met with a gaze that instantly has him transfixed.
They stare at each other for the longest time, neither saying anything nor making any movement at all.
The thumping bass of the music cannot be louder than the rapid thumping of his heart in his ears, Myungsoo thinks. And Myungsoo doesn’t know what to do. What does one even do when they meet the man of their dreams in a gay club? There needs to be a tutorial for this shit because Myungsoo’s completely stumped.
Then a gasp from the side breaks the connection. “Aren’t you-”
The next thing Myungsoo knows is that he’s being pulled away from the dance floor, the firm grip on his wrist not relenting. He ends up at his original destination anyway.
Sunggyu slides onto a bar stool, and Myungsoo follows suit onto the one next to him.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to be rude and leave you back there without saying anything since we were having a...” Sunggyu doesn’t finish his sentence, but glances at him a moment later. “Drink?”
Myungsoo nods. Hell, he probably needs to be drunk to handle this right now anyway.
Sunggyu waves to the bartender and calls for two beers.
The bartender raises his brows, looks at Myungsoo, then back at Sunggyu again, who shakes his head and laughs.
Myungsoo doesn’t know what that means and it unnerves him a little.
“You obviously know me, and I assume you assumed I remember you,” Sunggyu’s pause at this moment is such a cliffhanger that Myungsoo waits with his heart in his mouth, “I do. I see a lot of fans all the time, but a face like yours is hard to forget.”
Myungsoo forgets to breathe.
“It sounds superficial, I know, but it isn’t like we have much to go on when we only have that few seconds of interaction with the fans.”
Myungsoo is no longer alive.
“You don’t talk much, do you?” Sunggyu chuckles.
Myungsoo inhales slowly. “I do... sometimes.”
The bartender brings them their beers, and Myungsoo’s grateful for the distraction.
“On me.” Sunggyu smiles as he pushes one of the glasses to Myungsoo. “Thank you for buying 120 albums.”
Myungsoo laughs, nerves forgotten. “I still missed a fansign, though.”
“I can sign something for you now.” Sunggyu raises his glass, and Myungsoo does the same. “But first, let us drink.”
“To?”
“New friends?”
“You really do like to friendzone your fans...” Myungsoo shakes his head, clinking his glass with Sunggyu’s.
Sunggyu’s laugh gives Myungsoo these fuzzy feelings. “We can’t all be Woohyun. I’d rather not give them false hope.” He tilts his glass to Myungsoo, then both of them drink up.
Myungsoo would honestly love to just leave all the talking to Sunggyu, because who the hell knows what to talk to your idol about when you’re having drinks together in a club, really. Even talking to his idol like normal friends having a conversation is an entirely new concept to Myungsoo. Maybe the fact that he’s a guy, too, helps. He supposes it is less intimidating than trying to have a conversation with a 40-year-old ahjumma stalker fan or a 12-year-old child proclaiming her undying love and wish to marry him.
But if he keeps quiet any longer he will probably seem like a freaky fanboy.
“So you never thought about it?”
“You mean dating a fan?”
Myungsoo nods.
“I’m not sure if you realize, Myungsoo... 95% of my fans are female.”
“Oh.” Myungsoo says dumbly. Of course, why else would he be here? In any case, Myungsoo doesn’t press on because this is a dangerous topic to be treading on.
But Sunggyu continues anyway. “Granted this isn’t the best place to meet people but... you know what they say, the things that happen in here stay in here.” He turns to look at Myungsoo. “How did you hear of this place though?”
“My friend...” Myungsoo looks towards the dance floor, but catches no glimpse of Sungjong.
“Your first time here, then?”
Myungsoo blushes. Even if he is 200% gayer than Sungjong, he has never actually done anything about it. Honestly, with all the part-time jobs and school projects, Myungsoo doesn’t even have any time for himself, much less any time to date. His last boyfriend was three years ago and lasted two weeks, and before that, a girlfriend that lasted two days. He didn’t suppose relationships are his thing.
So he knows close to nothing about this community, whereas Sungjong is obviously a pro.
Myungsoo gives a slight nod in reply, then drinks more beer.
Sunggyu notices his embarrassment, and reaches out to pat his head.
Myungsoo frowns, but Sunggyu’s still grinning. “Why do you keep doing that?”
“You’re cute, I can’t help it.”
Myungsoo scowls and fixes Sunggyu with a steely stare until he takes his hand away.
“Okay, won’t do that again!” The older man puts up his hands in mock surrender.
Myungsoo stops staring at him, and he just laughs.
Okay, if there’s one thing Kim Sunggyu shouldn’t do anymore, it’s laugh. Because when he laughs, his eyes disappear into curved lines, and he really just looks so cuddly and adorable and lovable and- Myungsoo is so screwed. He is so damn screwed. How is he ever going to have a normal relationship anymore? How will he even fall in love with anyone else anymore?
This is the man of his dreams, and he’s sitting right next to him.
Oh god. Myungsoo has to forcefully tear his gaze away from Sunggyu, and swirls around in his chair to face the bar, the endless rows of bottles of alcohol which Myungsoo would love to drown himself in right now because fucking Kim Sunggyu- Nope, he can’t do this anymore.
There is nothing normal about having a normal conversation with your idol. There just isn’t. These things don’t just happen.
Sunggyu is way out of his league. This is a fact that is never going to change regardless of how chummy Sunggyu is acting with him.
Myungsoo’s on the verge of excusing himself and disappearing when he feels a presence behind him. He turns and comes face to face with Woohyun.
Woohyun’s eyes dramatically widen upon seeing him.
“I know he’s ridiculously handsome but you’re scaring him like that, Hyun.”
Myungsoo wishes there’s some kind of button to press to stop himself from blushing. At least it’s probably too dark to notice.
“Hi,” Woohyun says.
Myungsoo says hi back.
Then Woohyun leans towards Sunggyu to tell him something, which has Sunggyu frowning and nodding in response. Woohyun walks away after smiling and waving bye to Myungsoo.
Sunggyu stands up a moment after, moves close to Myungsoo and whispers, “Saturday, 10pm, second floor.”
Myungsoo barely has time to process what that even means but Sunggyu is already walking away, though not before squeezing Myungsoo’s shoulder and casually letting his hand trail down Myungsoo’s back as he leaves, resulting in the slight shiver that passes through Myungsoo. He turns and watches Sunggyu, who smiles at him and mouths “I’ll see you” right before he disappears into the crowd.
What the fuck just happened.
Myungsoo swivels back around in his stool, and stares at the remaining drops of beer in his glass, trying to make sense of everything that had just taken place. That’s when he feels arms winding around him from the back.
“Jjong!” He has never felt more relief to see his friend.
Sungjong frowns and lets go of him to sit onto what was Sunggyu’s seat not even a minute ago. “What’s wrong?”
Myungsoo says nothing. What’s wrong? There’s a billion things wrong but there’s nowhere to start.
Then Sungjong spots the other empty glass. “Did you meet someone?”
“Do me a favour and hit me because I need to know that I am dreaming.”
“But... you’re not?” Sungjong says, raising his brows as he looks at Myungsoo suspiciously.
Myungsoo sighs.
“What is it, hyung?”
“I’m 200% fucked.”
When Myungsoo tells Sungjong he wouldn’t believe whom he had just met, Sungjong gets the right answer on the first try. It turns out that he has known all along that a couple of members of Sunggyu’s band regularly hang out in this club, but Myungsoo’s too deep in his dilemma to be wondering why Sungjong had never told him before.
“He’s not a bad person. You should go.”
“Jjong, you’re not supposed to be encouraging me!”
“Well, I’m just saying! He isn’t!”
“But I’m a fan.”
“Look, if you weren’t, and you came to this club, and an attractive man hits on you, are you going to say no?”
“Uh, yes?”
“Preci- What? Hyung! You’re hopeless!”
“You said that the first time I went for a fansign.”
Sungjong glares at Myungsoo and Myungsoo instinctively hunches over, like that would make him smaller. If there was a corner he could huddle into, he would. Hell hath no fury like a Lee Sungjong scorned.
Hoya’s first reaction isn’t what any of them expects.
“My issue here, is how you never told your best friends, i.e. both of us, that you found yourself a boyfriend.”
“He did?”
Hoya throws a cushion at Myungsoo from his bed. “The guy who says Sunggyu is a nice man?”
Myungsoo dodges the cushion, then hugs it. “Oh.”
Sungjong kicks at the cushion from the opposite end of Myungsoo’s bed, but Myungsoo refuses to give it up.
“We’re talking about Myungsoo hyung right now, not me!”
“Fine,” Hoya says, “We’ll deal with you and your secrets after we’re done with Soo’s problem.”
Myungsoo whines and holds up the cushion to bury his face in.
“Kim Myungsoo, stop doing that to my cushion!”
Myungsoo releases Hoya’s cushion, and Sungjong leans forward, promptly snatching it away.
“So what do I do?”
“For the pros, we have Sungjong’s boyfriend saying that he’s a nice person, so I guess that has to count for something. As for the cons... like you said, you’re a fan.” Hoya shrugs. “However, he also knows that you are yet he’s still making a date with you, so that has to count for something. Maybe he thinks you’re not like the others.”
“I am exactly like the others.”
“Pretty sure you’re the most good-looking of the lot.”
“Jjong!”
“Okay, that’s superficial, but you got to have a good first impression before you can go on to make other impressions, right? And it seems like he already has an amazing first impression of you.” Sungjong glances at the photo frame on the wall.
Myungsoo follows Sungjong’s gaze
Let’s go together forever...
Myungsoo’s late, because work did not end on time. Then he contemplated for all of the next five minutes if he should go since he had no way of contacting Sunggyu to tell him he’d be late. A text from Sungjong that says “I hope you’re either there or at least on the way. O:)” five minutes past ten that looked polite at first glance but definitely had a hundred hidden daggers in it finally convinces Myungsoo that he had to go.
He has nothing to lose from just going, right?
Myungsoo reaches the club half an hour past the time he was supposed to meet Sunggyu.
Nobody stops him when he makes his way to the second floor, but Myungsoo’s nervous anyway. It just does not feel like he is in the right place. He wanders around, discreetly peeking into each of those VIP rooms. What if Sunggyu isn’t in any of those and someone catches him snooping? Myungsoo tries his best to very subtly peer into each room while pretending to look like he is strutting purposefully towards somewhere.
“Myungsoo.”
Myungsoo almost jumps. He spins around and is greeted by Sunggyu’s wide grin.
“Hi, I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I’m sorry, work ended late and I didn’t know if you’d still be here...”
Sunggyu shakes his head, then glances around. “Actually, do you want to go somewhere else less... crowded?”
Myungsoo panics. “Sure.”
“Great, I know of this nice pub just close by with a band that plays jazz music.”
Myungsoo calms down. “Sounds perfect.”
The car ride is spent mostly in silence since Sunggyu’s manager is the one driving them there. Then Sunggyu tells him not to wait, and Myungsoo wonders how late he will be heading home.
They find a nice cosy corner in the shadows, and Sunggyu makes the food order for both of them.
“In case you’re wondering why I wanted to meet at the club, It’s because my friend was having a birthday celebration in one of the rooms.”
“You don’t have to explain.” Myungsoo really didn’t think much of it, he just assumed it’s because no one would really bother about them there. But Sunggyu seems to be trying to present himself to Myungsoo a different way.
Sunggyu nods and smiles. “So... you were working?”
“Uh, yeah.” Myungsoo says. “I’m still a student, though,” he feels compelled to add after a moment.
“I figured. How old are you?”
“Old enough to be drinking.”
Sunggyu gives Myungsoo a judgmental look.
Myungsoo laughs. “I’m 21.”
“That’s acceptable.”
“‘Acceptable’?” Myungsoo echoes, head slightly cocked to the side.
“Well, if you’re 18 then there would be an age difference of 6 years between us and it would make me feel like an old man.”
“But hyung, you already are the representation of ‘old man’ in the band.”
“It’s a lie! Don’t believe everything people say!” The pain from being misunderstood that Myungsoo could hear from Sunggyu’s voice and see from his face is definitely real.
Myungsoo tries not to laugh, keeping it in as a waiter brings them their food and drinks. “You’re ‘people’ too.”
“I’m not just ‘people’,” Sunggyu grumbles. “I’m your favourite person, so you should listen to me.”
“I have a few favourite people, but you’re not one.”
Sunggyu gasps.
Myungsoo bursts out laughing this time, and has to look away to calm himself.
“You don’t mean it.”
“You’re my favourite idol.”
“Is that all you see me as?”
Myungsoo blinks at him, brows furrowed just slightly, not really understanding Sunggyu.
Sunggyu shakes his head. “You’re special. I’d like to be... friends with you.”
Sunggyu mumbles something after that Myungsoo doesn’t catch, but that’s alright because Myungsoo’s still distracted by the way Sunggyu had said ‘friends’. It was like he had meant to say something else but settled for that word instead, and Myungsoo probably won’t ever find out what it was.
“I’m not entirely sure how to be friends with you, hyung.” Myungsoo admits. Maybe it would have been easier if he was Sungjong, who obviously fits into this world effortlessly with his style, fashionability, and grace. Myungsoo’s just an awkward, poor student who spends most of his money on his idol.
“Because you fantasize too much about me every night?”
Myungsoo turns red and stutters so much that he gives up trying to speak.
Sunggyu is in chortles.
“I do not!” Myungsoo protests indignantly. He genuinely does not. Okay, except for that one time he was watching an adult video and the guy looked a little like Sunggyu and also had really pretty fingers so Myungsoo may have let his fantasies run wild just once. He never tried to imagine Sunggyu again because it makes him feel awkward. He has no wish of risking getting all that indecent imagery in his head when he sees Sunggyu in real life. Like right now.
“I wouldn’t think badly of you even if you did,” Sunggyu says. “It would actually be a nice compliment.”
Myungsoo wonders if Sunggyu’s just saying it or he really thinks that way.
“Someone like you, it’d still be my pleasure even if just in your head.”
Myungsoo is barely stopping himself from imploding from all the feelings that Sunggyu’s words are giving him. If he isn’t dreaming then he definitely needs his personal advisor Sungjong to explain to him what is happening now. Does Sunggyu really mean what Myungsoo thinks he means? Or is Myungsoo purely making too many assumptions on his part?
Sometimes Myungsoo wishes he is more skilled in the department of flirting and relationships, so he wouldn’t be so lost at times like this.
He’s still at a loss as to what to reply but Sunggyu saves him.
“So, you like photography?”
And this is how Myungsoo doesn’t stop talking.
It’s 4 in the morning, after lengthy, in-depth discussions about photography-Myungsoo’s specialty, and music-Sunggyu’s specialty. Between the two of them, they have eaten three skinny crust pizzas, two buckets of fries, one dozen buffalo wings, and drunk copious amounts of various types of alcohol.
Sunggyu’s still sober but Myungsoo’s just beginning to feel slightly tipsy.
“So it’s true that you don’t get drunk,” Myungsoo says, impressed.
“Hey, you’re pretty good yourself.” Sunggyu grins. “I have finally found myself a worthy drinking partner.”
“Are the rest of them really that bad?”
“Dongwoo gets knocked out after one bottle of soju, Woohyun and Sungyeol about a couple of glasses each, so...” Sunggyu laughs, “Pretty bad.”
Myungsoo laughs along and shakes his head. His friends have low alcohol tolerance too so sometimes it’s more annoying than it is amusing since there have been more occasions than one when he had to carry them back.
“I should probably send you home now.”
Myungsoo doesn’t mistake the tinge of regret he hears in Sunggyu’s voice. He’s not drunk enough to be hearing things. His breath catches for a moment as he watches Sunggyu.
Then they’re in a cab, even though Myungsoo said no ten times. Sunggyu was so persistent that Myungsoo gave up.
Sunggyu also insists on walking Myungsoo right to his door, and Myungsoo doesn’t even argue.
And Sunggyu is sneaky.
He casually slips into Myungsoo’s dorm room right after him and closes the door quietly.
“What are you doing?” Myungsoo whispers, panicking a little.
“Had a couple of things to say but didn’t want to say them outside.” Sunggyu is whispering too and Myungsoo’s heart starts to go out of control because fuck, that is incredibly hot.
“What is it?”
Sunggyu leans closer. “Call me.”
Myungsoo takes all of five seconds before he replies. “No, you call me.”
“No, you call me.”
“No, you.”
“You-”
The lights come on suddenly, and Myungsoo belatedly realizes just how close Sunggyu’s face is to his.
“Jesus Christ, get a room.”
They don’t jump apart at Hoya’s voice either, although Sunggyu slowly backs away. He gives Hoya a quick bow in apology, then mouths ‘call me’ to Myungsoo, very blatantly stares at his lips for five seconds, and leaves.
Myungsoo’s still stunned in the same spot after Sunggyu disappears out the door.
Hoya judges him with his arms crossed.
“Don’t say anything.”
part two
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sungkyu/Myungsoo
Length: 10,039
Summary: Sometimes the only one you want is way out of your reach. Myungsoo is a poor student and Kim Sunggyu is the leader of a popular rock band. Myungsoo supposes it doesn’t get any further than that.
Notes: A big thank you to the one and only Banner to my Stark for the beta and also for not deserting me despite my million dumb questions. Also thank you to K and C for the encouragement. And finally, thank you namikaze_jkc for the lovely prompt that created this amazing world of characters for me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Merry Christmas! (Lyric quotes are from Adam Levine’s No One Else Like You and Sunggyu’s I Need You.)
To: namikaze_jkc
From: Your Secret Santa
‘Cause everyone wants someone
That’s one cliché that’s true
Myungsoo wakes up every morning to a beautiful voice that belongs to a man as beautiful. The man of his dreams, with a voice so sweet, a face so heavenly, and fingers so graceful when they’re dancing on guitar strings… The man of his dreams is, unfortunately, just that.
It’s not a big deal, though. Kim Sunggyu is way out of his league, and Myungsoo knows that. He knows better than to wish his idol will fall in love with him.
Kim Sunggyu, the sexy, charismatic leader of a rock band of which music Myungsoo fell in love with one rainy afternoon. Kim Sunggyu, a man of many talents, who plays the guitar and the piano, who writes all of his songs, who stole Myungsoo’s heart with just his voice that day.
Myungsoo had gotten up from his seat and went straight to the counter to ask whose album the cafe was playing. The barista looked at him like he was weird for not knowing, and simply stated, “Kim Sung Kyu Band”. That was the beginning of Myungsoo’s downward spiral into what people called ‘fandom’.
It is also exactly why Myungsoo is sitting alone at Smoothie King, scribbling on slips of paper. These slips of paper aren’t just ordinary pieces of scrap paper, they hold the key to Myungsoo’s future; to his happiness. Each slip gives him one chance at entering the first fansign the band has ever held since it debuted three years ago. There is just no way Myungsoo would just give up on something as important as this.
To be quite frank, Myungsoo didn’t have high hopes because he would rather not be disappointed should he not get picked for the fansign. If not this time, then next time, right?
No, he isn’t nervous. Myungsoo tells himself that about twenty-eight times as he sits in the audience at the fansign, waiting for his turn to go up on stage. Sure, the camera in his hands provides some kind of distraction from the butterflies in his stomach, but he’s still shaking, and he knows half the photographs are going to come out blurry.
Aspiring photographer Kim Myungsoo, who can’t even keep his camera steady in front of his idol. Myungsoo sighs inwardly. How he is going to become a professional photographer if he can’t even be professional now, he doesn’t really know. In his defense, it is his first time using the f2.8 70-200mm telephoto lens after finally saving enough from the three part-time jobs he holds, and he still isn’t used to the weight yet.
Myungsoo is nervous, not because he hasn’t seen Kim Sunggyu in real life before. It’s the thought of being in such close proximity to him, talking to him, and possibly shaking his hand-most definitely shaking his hand-that has got Myungsoo all fidgety. He hasn’t even thought of what to say! “I love your music”? “I love your singing”? “I love you”?
Everything just sounds so childish. And that is not how Myungsoo wanted to present himself in front of Sunggyu.
The short talk ends, and the fans are getting ushered into a queue line onto the stage to get their albums signed. Myungsoo wonders if the people around him can hear his heart beating so loudly. Then again, most of them are probably feeling the same way he does. The majority of the fans are girls, and suddenly Myungsoo feels out of place as well, worried that people will judge him. On the bright side, maybe Sunggyu will remember him since he’s one out of possibly ten fanboys in the crowd.
Myungsoo shoves his camera into his backpack and clutches onto his album so hard. His heart thumps louder in his ears the closer he gets to the stage, and he doesn’t remember that he was supposed to think of something to say to Sunggyu until he reaches the front of the queue and Sunggyu is just two band members away from him.
Myungsoo panics, and ends up saying nothing to the first member to start signing. He’s still panicking when he reaches the second member, and forgets to shake his hand. Then, it is the moment Myungsoo has been waiting for, the moment he has been losing sleep for ever since the day he looked through the list of fansign winners and saw his name on it.
There are about a million things a fan could say or do in front of their idols, but Myungsoo just stares. Sunggyu actually manages to stare back for a few moments, and Myungsoo thinks this is the best five seconds of his life. Except the next five seconds are even better. Sunggyu looks away to continue scribbling on Myungsoo’s album and-is that a faint blush that Myungsoo detects? Myungsoo’s breath hitches slightly. He has been told a lot that he has a really intense gaze that could unnerve or fluster people. Could it be that the godly and unattainable Kim Sunggyu can also be affected by it?
He doesn’t have time to dwell on that thought because suddenly Sunggyu is done signing on his album and Myungsoo’s supposed to move on to the last member. He lingers, trying to say something-anything-because this is the best chance he has got. Instead their eyes meet again and Sunggyu speaks instead.
“Thank you.”
Sunggyu smiles, and Myungsoo melts. He grins like a fool as he shuffles towards the next member, not even realizing he has forgotten to shake Sunggyu’s hand. Needless to say, Myungsoo melts a second time when Sunggyu suddenly grabs his hand and grips it firmly.
The rest of the event is a blur because Myungsoo can’t focus anymore. He manages to take more pictures once he gets back to his seat, and he thinks Sunggyu might have smiled for his camera a couple of times but there are like a hundred other cameras so Sunggyu probably just takes turns smiling for as many cameras as he can.
Myungsoo remembers nothing of Woohyun, Dongwoo, and Sungyeol-the keyboardist, bassist, and drummer respectively-and feels really bad about it. But, no time to waste harping on what could have been.
Plugging his compact flash memory card into his MacBook, Myungsoo lounges on his bed and starts going through his pictures.
The door opens a minute later and Myungsoo doesn’t even look up from the screen when he says “hi” to his roommate.
“You’re so happy to see me.”
Myungsoo laughs, but still doesn’t look up. “Trust me, I am.”
“Are you looking at porn?”
“It’s honestly good enough to be.”
Hoya rolls his eyes and throws his backpack onto the bed opposite of Myungsoo’s, then casually walks over to stand by Myungsoo’s bed and peeks at his screen.
“Oh, right, you said there was some signing thing today. From that stupid smile on your face, it must have gone well?”
“It was great.” Myungsoo sighs dreamily.
“Okay,” Hoya pushes Myungsoo to make space for himself on the small bed and plops his butt unceremoniously onto it next to Myungsoo, “Tell me everything.”
So Myungsoo does. But only after Sungjong goes over to their dorm room with beers.
Sungjong, Myungsoo’s best friend in the entire universe-along with Hoya, of course, but Myungsoo may argue that Hoya is only his best friend on Earth just to annoy him-who always has the best advice for Myungsoo, even though he’s a year younger.
“You’re hopeless, Kim Myungsoo.” Sungjong says, shaking his head. But he’s smiling as he sips from his bottle.
Myungsoo knows.
For the next three fansigns, Hoya and Sungjong accompany Myungsoo to buy his albums and fill up the ballot slips. Myungsoo makes it to two more out of the three.
Myungsoo’s less nervous now, and he’s more used to his camera setup. He also manages to speak coherently to the other band members, although when it comes to Sunggyu, Myungsoo still can’t find the words.
When Myungsoo opens his mouth to speak, the words die before they even reach his lips. Yet somehow, it is okay. Eyes are, after all, the windows to their souls. Myungsoo doesn’t have to speak at all. Sunggyu holds his gaze for almost the whole time, piercing and intense. Then Myungsoo’s heart starts racing when Sunggyu reaches for his hand.
It’s hard to be a fan, Myungsoo thinks, if every single time you see your idol up close you end up in a bundle of nerves and on the verge of a heart attack. It’s absolutely worth it, of course, but still really hard. How the millions of fangirls do it, Myungsoo would love to find out because he has only seen Sunggyu this close twice and he is already pretty sure his heart cannot take anymore.
“Thank you for coming,” Sunggyu says as he grips Myungsoo’s hand, his other hand scribbling away on Myungsoo’s album sleeve with a black marker.
When he eventually releases Myungsoo’s hand, he flashes a smile at him.
Myungsoo melts.
Later when Myungsoo reaches home, he finally looks through the autographs carefully. All of the members had only written his name just as he had written on the sticky tabs on each page, but Sunggyu’s autograph...
It says “♥Myungsyuu♥ Thank you!”
He misses the second of the three sessions, and wonders if Sunggyu will notice his absence.
On the last one, Myungsoo dies the moment the band appears on stage.
In contrast with their usual style of contemporary street fashion, all four of them are in suits. White shirt, black blazer, black pants...
How are the rest of the fans even alive to be screaming? All Myungsoo can do is stare, camera forgotten in his hands. He is still completely awestruck when the members have taken their seats, ready for the fansign to officially begin.
“Hi Myungsoo!” The keyboardist, Woohyun, is well-known for taking care of their fans, so Myungsoo supposes it’s no big deal that he remembers his name even before looking at the sticky tab. Myungsoo is, after all, one of the few male fans in the audience once again.
“Hi,” Myungsoo says quietly.
“Have you eaten?”
Myungsoo nods.
Woohyun smiles widely. “Good. We’ll see you soon, yeah?”
Myungsoo nods again before shuffling to the next spot. Both the drummer Sungyeol and bassist Dongwoo seem to recognize him as well, and Myungsoo feels like he has finally made it and become one of those fans that he used to be envious of.
His breath catches when he stands in front of Sunggyu. Sunggyu, the band’s perfect leader, who is currently looking ridiculously delicious in that damn suit.
“Hello, Myungsoo.”
Myungsoo dies for the second time that night.
“Hello, Sunggyu hyung.”
“It’s our last fansign for this album.”
“I know.”
“Please wait for us.”
Myungsoo nods. “Of course I will.”
Sunggyu glances up and smiles at him. “Thank you.”
This time, Myungsoo remembers to reach his hand out to Sunggyu, who holds his hand firmly. Myungsoo shakes his head and says, “No, thank you.”
“Hey, you’re the one who bought our albums.” Sunggyu grins. “How many did you buy anyway?”
Myungsoo blinks. “Uh, thirty, each? But I didn’t win yesterday.”
Sunggyu nods. “I know.” He seems to notice Myungsoo’s slight pout after saying he didn’t win for one of the sessions, smiles, and reaches out to ruffle his hair. “See you soon.”
Myungsoo makes a noise in protest, frowning as he pats his hair back into place. “Bye, hyung.”
“Bye, Myungsoo.”
In the next two months that follow, Sunggyu’s band does not have any public activities, and Myungsoo has thrown himself into endless work. Besides the two part-time jobs he now juggles, Myungsoo is also working on his final-year project.
Each day when Hoya returns to the dorm in the evening, Myungsoo would be wrapping up that day’s progress on his project, and just preparing to head out for work.
The two months seemed endless, yet they also passed in a flash. And finally Hoya stops Myungsoo one day.
“Excuse me.”
“No, I’m not going to.”
“What? Why? I have to head to work!”
“That’s exactly why! Kim Myungsoo, you need to take a break.”
“I can’t. I really have to go now. I’ll see you later.”
Myungsoo feels a little apologetic because Hoya genuinely looks worried. But he can’t just skip out on work for no reason. He shuffles towards a frowning Hoya and gently hugs him.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
Hoya sighs.
Myungsoo offers his friend a small smile, glances at the photo frame next to his bed, then turns around and leaves.
The photo frame has been on the wall since the last fansign Myungsoo had gone to, the framed item being the album booklet on which the band members had signed on, but flipped to the page with Sunggyu’s autograph. The message is a lot longer on this.
“To Myungsoo: Let’s go together forever. Always, fighting♥”
Three days later, Myungsoo is forcefully dragged out by Sungjong. Hoya waves cheerfully to him from the door and tells him to have fun.
Myungsoo doesn’t know where Sungjong is taking him, but follows obediently. No one ever goes against Lee Sungjong unless they’re fond of getting the evil eye, which can really be pretty intimidating, even to Myungsoo. It is like Myungsoo’s intense gaze but scarier because it comes with a tinge of evilness.
“We’re here!” Sungjong says brightly.
Myungsoo looks around him and frowns. “A... club.”
“More accurately, my favourite club.” Sungjong points out.
Myungsoo laughs. “Lead the way then.”
Sungjong smiles slyly. “My pleasure.”
Myungsoo knows why Hoya didn’t go along ten seconds after he steps in. His best friend just brought him to a gay club.
“Don’t give me that face, Kim Myungsoo. We all know you’re 200% gayer than I am.”
“That is not true!” Myungsoo protests.
Sungjong rolls his eyes dramatically and pulls him onto the dance floor.
Dancing. Just the way to put off potential suitors when just his face alone would have attracted flocks. Myungsoo sways a bit because that’s the best he can do, and watches Sungjong with his gyrating hips and sexy waves. So much for being 200% less gay. Myungsoo figures he shall just go to the bar and get a drink instead since Sungjong’s already distracted with some tall man who looks like a model.
Then a butt brushes against his and Myungsoo thinks he might have heard a faint “excuse me” despite the loud music. He can recognize that voice anywhere.
Myungsoo turns, and is immediately met with a gaze that instantly has him transfixed.
They stare at each other for the longest time, neither saying anything nor making any movement at all.
The thumping bass of the music cannot be louder than the rapid thumping of his heart in his ears, Myungsoo thinks. And Myungsoo doesn’t know what to do. What does one even do when they meet the man of their dreams in a gay club? There needs to be a tutorial for this shit because Myungsoo’s completely stumped.
Then a gasp from the side breaks the connection. “Aren’t you-”
The next thing Myungsoo knows is that he’s being pulled away from the dance floor, the firm grip on his wrist not relenting. He ends up at his original destination anyway.
Sunggyu slides onto a bar stool, and Myungsoo follows suit onto the one next to him.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to be rude and leave you back there without saying anything since we were having a...” Sunggyu doesn’t finish his sentence, but glances at him a moment later. “Drink?”
Myungsoo nods. Hell, he probably needs to be drunk to handle this right now anyway.
Sunggyu waves to the bartender and calls for two beers.
The bartender raises his brows, looks at Myungsoo, then back at Sunggyu again, who shakes his head and laughs.
Myungsoo doesn’t know what that means and it unnerves him a little.
“You obviously know me, and I assume you assumed I remember you,” Sunggyu’s pause at this moment is such a cliffhanger that Myungsoo waits with his heart in his mouth, “I do. I see a lot of fans all the time, but a face like yours is hard to forget.”
Myungsoo forgets to breathe.
“It sounds superficial, I know, but it isn’t like we have much to go on when we only have that few seconds of interaction with the fans.”
Myungsoo is no longer alive.
“You don’t talk much, do you?” Sunggyu chuckles.
Myungsoo inhales slowly. “I do... sometimes.”
The bartender brings them their beers, and Myungsoo’s grateful for the distraction.
“On me.” Sunggyu smiles as he pushes one of the glasses to Myungsoo. “Thank you for buying 120 albums.”
Myungsoo laughs, nerves forgotten. “I still missed a fansign, though.”
“I can sign something for you now.” Sunggyu raises his glass, and Myungsoo does the same. “But first, let us drink.”
“To?”
“New friends?”
“You really do like to friendzone your fans...” Myungsoo shakes his head, clinking his glass with Sunggyu’s.
Sunggyu’s laugh gives Myungsoo these fuzzy feelings. “We can’t all be Woohyun. I’d rather not give them false hope.” He tilts his glass to Myungsoo, then both of them drink up.
Myungsoo would honestly love to just leave all the talking to Sunggyu, because who the hell knows what to talk to your idol about when you’re having drinks together in a club, really. Even talking to his idol like normal friends having a conversation is an entirely new concept to Myungsoo. Maybe the fact that he’s a guy, too, helps. He supposes it is less intimidating than trying to have a conversation with a 40-year-old ahjumma stalker fan or a 12-year-old child proclaiming her undying love and wish to marry him.
But if he keeps quiet any longer he will probably seem like a freaky fanboy.
“So you never thought about it?”
“You mean dating a fan?”
Myungsoo nods.
“I’m not sure if you realize, Myungsoo... 95% of my fans are female.”
“Oh.” Myungsoo says dumbly. Of course, why else would he be here? In any case, Myungsoo doesn’t press on because this is a dangerous topic to be treading on.
But Sunggyu continues anyway. “Granted this isn’t the best place to meet people but... you know what they say, the things that happen in here stay in here.” He turns to look at Myungsoo. “How did you hear of this place though?”
“My friend...” Myungsoo looks towards the dance floor, but catches no glimpse of Sungjong.
“Your first time here, then?”
Myungsoo blushes. Even if he is 200% gayer than Sungjong, he has never actually done anything about it. Honestly, with all the part-time jobs and school projects, Myungsoo doesn’t even have any time for himself, much less any time to date. His last boyfriend was three years ago and lasted two weeks, and before that, a girlfriend that lasted two days. He didn’t suppose relationships are his thing.
So he knows close to nothing about this community, whereas Sungjong is obviously a pro.
Myungsoo gives a slight nod in reply, then drinks more beer.
Sunggyu notices his embarrassment, and reaches out to pat his head.
Myungsoo frowns, but Sunggyu’s still grinning. “Why do you keep doing that?”
“You’re cute, I can’t help it.”
Myungsoo scowls and fixes Sunggyu with a steely stare until he takes his hand away.
“Okay, won’t do that again!” The older man puts up his hands in mock surrender.
Myungsoo stops staring at him, and he just laughs.
Okay, if there’s one thing Kim Sunggyu shouldn’t do anymore, it’s laugh. Because when he laughs, his eyes disappear into curved lines, and he really just looks so cuddly and adorable and lovable and- Myungsoo is so screwed. He is so damn screwed. How is he ever going to have a normal relationship anymore? How will he even fall in love with anyone else anymore?
This is the man of his dreams, and he’s sitting right next to him.
Oh god. Myungsoo has to forcefully tear his gaze away from Sunggyu, and swirls around in his chair to face the bar, the endless rows of bottles of alcohol which Myungsoo would love to drown himself in right now because fucking Kim Sunggyu- Nope, he can’t do this anymore.
There is nothing normal about having a normal conversation with your idol. There just isn’t. These things don’t just happen.
Sunggyu is way out of his league. This is a fact that is never going to change regardless of how chummy Sunggyu is acting with him.
Myungsoo’s on the verge of excusing himself and disappearing when he feels a presence behind him. He turns and comes face to face with Woohyun.
Woohyun’s eyes dramatically widen upon seeing him.
“I know he’s ridiculously handsome but you’re scaring him like that, Hyun.”
Myungsoo wishes there’s some kind of button to press to stop himself from blushing. At least it’s probably too dark to notice.
“Hi,” Woohyun says.
Myungsoo says hi back.
Then Woohyun leans towards Sunggyu to tell him something, which has Sunggyu frowning and nodding in response. Woohyun walks away after smiling and waving bye to Myungsoo.
Sunggyu stands up a moment after, moves close to Myungsoo and whispers, “Saturday, 10pm, second floor.”
Myungsoo barely has time to process what that even means but Sunggyu is already walking away, though not before squeezing Myungsoo’s shoulder and casually letting his hand trail down Myungsoo’s back as he leaves, resulting in the slight shiver that passes through Myungsoo. He turns and watches Sunggyu, who smiles at him and mouths “I’ll see you” right before he disappears into the crowd.
What the fuck just happened.
Myungsoo swivels back around in his stool, and stares at the remaining drops of beer in his glass, trying to make sense of everything that had just taken place. That’s when he feels arms winding around him from the back.
“Jjong!” He has never felt more relief to see his friend.
Sungjong frowns and lets go of him to sit onto what was Sunggyu’s seat not even a minute ago. “What’s wrong?”
Myungsoo says nothing. What’s wrong? There’s a billion things wrong but there’s nowhere to start.
Then Sungjong spots the other empty glass. “Did you meet someone?”
“Do me a favour and hit me because I need to know that I am dreaming.”
“But... you’re not?” Sungjong says, raising his brows as he looks at Myungsoo suspiciously.
Myungsoo sighs.
“What is it, hyung?”
“I’m 200% fucked.”
When Myungsoo tells Sungjong he wouldn’t believe whom he had just met, Sungjong gets the right answer on the first try. It turns out that he has known all along that a couple of members of Sunggyu’s band regularly hang out in this club, but Myungsoo’s too deep in his dilemma to be wondering why Sungjong had never told him before.
“He’s not a bad person. You should go.”
“Jjong, you’re not supposed to be encouraging me!”
“Well, I’m just saying! He isn’t!”
“But I’m a fan.”
“Look, if you weren’t, and you came to this club, and an attractive man hits on you, are you going to say no?”
“Uh, yes?”
“Preci- What? Hyung! You’re hopeless!”
“You said that the first time I went for a fansign.”
Sungjong glares at Myungsoo and Myungsoo instinctively hunches over, like that would make him smaller. If there was a corner he could huddle into, he would. Hell hath no fury like a Lee Sungjong scorned.
Hoya’s first reaction isn’t what any of them expects.
“My issue here, is how you never told your best friends, i.e. both of us, that you found yourself a boyfriend.”
“He did?”
Hoya throws a cushion at Myungsoo from his bed. “The guy who says Sunggyu is a nice man?”
Myungsoo dodges the cushion, then hugs it. “Oh.”
Sungjong kicks at the cushion from the opposite end of Myungsoo’s bed, but Myungsoo refuses to give it up.
“We’re talking about Myungsoo hyung right now, not me!”
“Fine,” Hoya says, “We’ll deal with you and your secrets after we’re done with Soo’s problem.”
Myungsoo whines and holds up the cushion to bury his face in.
“Kim Myungsoo, stop doing that to my cushion!”
Myungsoo releases Hoya’s cushion, and Sungjong leans forward, promptly snatching it away.
“So what do I do?”
“For the pros, we have Sungjong’s boyfriend saying that he’s a nice person, so I guess that has to count for something. As for the cons... like you said, you’re a fan.” Hoya shrugs. “However, he also knows that you are yet he’s still making a date with you, so that has to count for something. Maybe he thinks you’re not like the others.”
“I am exactly like the others.”
“Pretty sure you’re the most good-looking of the lot.”
“Jjong!”
“Okay, that’s superficial, but you got to have a good first impression before you can go on to make other impressions, right? And it seems like he already has an amazing first impression of you.” Sungjong glances at the photo frame on the wall.
Myungsoo follows Sungjong’s gaze
Let’s go together forever...
Myungsoo’s late, because work did not end on time. Then he contemplated for all of the next five minutes if he should go since he had no way of contacting Sunggyu to tell him he’d be late. A text from Sungjong that says “I hope you’re either there or at least on the way. O:)” five minutes past ten that looked polite at first glance but definitely had a hundred hidden daggers in it finally convinces Myungsoo that he had to go.
He has nothing to lose from just going, right?
Myungsoo reaches the club half an hour past the time he was supposed to meet Sunggyu.
Nobody stops him when he makes his way to the second floor, but Myungsoo’s nervous anyway. It just does not feel like he is in the right place. He wanders around, discreetly peeking into each of those VIP rooms. What if Sunggyu isn’t in any of those and someone catches him snooping? Myungsoo tries his best to very subtly peer into each room while pretending to look like he is strutting purposefully towards somewhere.
“Myungsoo.”
Myungsoo almost jumps. He spins around and is greeted by Sunggyu’s wide grin.
“Hi, I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I’m sorry, work ended late and I didn’t know if you’d still be here...”
Sunggyu shakes his head, then glances around. “Actually, do you want to go somewhere else less... crowded?”
Myungsoo panics. “Sure.”
“Great, I know of this nice pub just close by with a band that plays jazz music.”
Myungsoo calms down. “Sounds perfect.”
The car ride is spent mostly in silence since Sunggyu’s manager is the one driving them there. Then Sunggyu tells him not to wait, and Myungsoo wonders how late he will be heading home.
They find a nice cosy corner in the shadows, and Sunggyu makes the food order for both of them.
“In case you’re wondering why I wanted to meet at the club, It’s because my friend was having a birthday celebration in one of the rooms.”
“You don’t have to explain.” Myungsoo really didn’t think much of it, he just assumed it’s because no one would really bother about them there. But Sunggyu seems to be trying to present himself to Myungsoo a different way.
Sunggyu nods and smiles. “So... you were working?”
“Uh, yeah.” Myungsoo says. “I’m still a student, though,” he feels compelled to add after a moment.
“I figured. How old are you?”
“Old enough to be drinking.”
Sunggyu gives Myungsoo a judgmental look.
Myungsoo laughs. “I’m 21.”
“That’s acceptable.”
“‘Acceptable’?” Myungsoo echoes, head slightly cocked to the side.
“Well, if you’re 18 then there would be an age difference of 6 years between us and it would make me feel like an old man.”
“But hyung, you already are the representation of ‘old man’ in the band.”
“It’s a lie! Don’t believe everything people say!” The pain from being misunderstood that Myungsoo could hear from Sunggyu’s voice and see from his face is definitely real.
Myungsoo tries not to laugh, keeping it in as a waiter brings them their food and drinks. “You’re ‘people’ too.”
“I’m not just ‘people’,” Sunggyu grumbles. “I’m your favourite person, so you should listen to me.”
“I have a few favourite people, but you’re not one.”
Sunggyu gasps.
Myungsoo bursts out laughing this time, and has to look away to calm himself.
“You don’t mean it.”
“You’re my favourite idol.”
“Is that all you see me as?”
Myungsoo blinks at him, brows furrowed just slightly, not really understanding Sunggyu.
Sunggyu shakes his head. “You’re special. I’d like to be... friends with you.”
Sunggyu mumbles something after that Myungsoo doesn’t catch, but that’s alright because Myungsoo’s still distracted by the way Sunggyu had said ‘friends’. It was like he had meant to say something else but settled for that word instead, and Myungsoo probably won’t ever find out what it was.
“I’m not entirely sure how to be friends with you, hyung.” Myungsoo admits. Maybe it would have been easier if he was Sungjong, who obviously fits into this world effortlessly with his style, fashionability, and grace. Myungsoo’s just an awkward, poor student who spends most of his money on his idol.
“Because you fantasize too much about me every night?”
Myungsoo turns red and stutters so much that he gives up trying to speak.
Sunggyu is in chortles.
“I do not!” Myungsoo protests indignantly. He genuinely does not. Okay, except for that one time he was watching an adult video and the guy looked a little like Sunggyu and also had really pretty fingers so Myungsoo may have let his fantasies run wild just once. He never tried to imagine Sunggyu again because it makes him feel awkward. He has no wish of risking getting all that indecent imagery in his head when he sees Sunggyu in real life. Like right now.
“I wouldn’t think badly of you even if you did,” Sunggyu says. “It would actually be a nice compliment.”
Myungsoo wonders if Sunggyu’s just saying it or he really thinks that way.
“Someone like you, it’d still be my pleasure even if just in your head.”
Myungsoo is barely stopping himself from imploding from all the feelings that Sunggyu’s words are giving him. If he isn’t dreaming then he definitely needs his personal advisor Sungjong to explain to him what is happening now. Does Sunggyu really mean what Myungsoo thinks he means? Or is Myungsoo purely making too many assumptions on his part?
Sometimes Myungsoo wishes he is more skilled in the department of flirting and relationships, so he wouldn’t be so lost at times like this.
He’s still at a loss as to what to reply but Sunggyu saves him.
“So, you like photography?”
And this is how Myungsoo doesn’t stop talking.
It’s 4 in the morning, after lengthy, in-depth discussions about photography-Myungsoo’s specialty, and music-Sunggyu’s specialty. Between the two of them, they have eaten three skinny crust pizzas, two buckets of fries, one dozen buffalo wings, and drunk copious amounts of various types of alcohol.
Sunggyu’s still sober but Myungsoo’s just beginning to feel slightly tipsy.
“So it’s true that you don’t get drunk,” Myungsoo says, impressed.
“Hey, you’re pretty good yourself.” Sunggyu grins. “I have finally found myself a worthy drinking partner.”
“Are the rest of them really that bad?”
“Dongwoo gets knocked out after one bottle of soju, Woohyun and Sungyeol about a couple of glasses each, so...” Sunggyu laughs, “Pretty bad.”
Myungsoo laughs along and shakes his head. His friends have low alcohol tolerance too so sometimes it’s more annoying than it is amusing since there have been more occasions than one when he had to carry them back.
“I should probably send you home now.”
Myungsoo doesn’t mistake the tinge of regret he hears in Sunggyu’s voice. He’s not drunk enough to be hearing things. His breath catches for a moment as he watches Sunggyu.
Then they’re in a cab, even though Myungsoo said no ten times. Sunggyu was so persistent that Myungsoo gave up.
Sunggyu also insists on walking Myungsoo right to his door, and Myungsoo doesn’t even argue.
And Sunggyu is sneaky.
He casually slips into Myungsoo’s dorm room right after him and closes the door quietly.
“What are you doing?” Myungsoo whispers, panicking a little.
“Had a couple of things to say but didn’t want to say them outside.” Sunggyu is whispering too and Myungsoo’s heart starts to go out of control because fuck, that is incredibly hot.
“What is it?”
Sunggyu leans closer. “Call me.”
Myungsoo takes all of five seconds before he replies. “No, you call me.”
“No, you call me.”
“No, you.”
“You-”
The lights come on suddenly, and Myungsoo belatedly realizes just how close Sunggyu’s face is to his.
“Jesus Christ, get a room.”
They don’t jump apart at Hoya’s voice either, although Sunggyu slowly backs away. He gives Hoya a quick bow in apology, then mouths ‘call me’ to Myungsoo, very blatantly stares at his lips for five seconds, and leaves.
Myungsoo’s still stunned in the same spot after Sunggyu disappears out the door.
Hoya judges him with his arms crossed.
“Don’t say anything.”
part two