[drabble] 014. home, 1/1
014. home
heechul/donghae | angst/friendship | pg
heechul is falling. heechul is breaking. heechul is already broken. (but donghae isn’t.)
challenge masterlist.
The night before Heechul leaves for the army, there’s a loud thump in the living room. Heechul lays in bed for a long moment, contemplating if he should go see what happened-and he almost decides against it, until he remembers that after tomorrow, he won’t be sleeping in this bed anymore, and he won’t even get to decide if he wants to go out into the living room or not at all. So he swings his legs over the bed, slips his feet into his slippers, and shuffles out into the living room.
It’s Donghae. Heechul isn’t quite sure what he’s doing-the younger man is staring at the wall, face scrunched into an expression of deep concentration.
“What’s up?” Heechul asks, ruffling the back of his hair.
Surprised, Donghae looks up at him. “Hyung.” He pauses. “I, uh…I think I dented the wall.”
Heechul glances at the wall. It’s dented indeed. “What do you do, punch it?” Donghae shuffles sheepishly on his feet. “Dude, why’d you punch the wall?”
The younger man looks away. “I’ve just been hating everything lately, hyung.”
Heechul’s heart clenches a little, because Donghae has always been one of the members who always smiles no matter what. Even through his tears, he smiles. “What in particular is making you hate?”
“I don’t know, maybe how we’re at the end of our line?” The lines in Donghae’s face run a little too deep, the bags a little too dark. “How our own company doesn’t even give two shits about us? Oh, or how about this, hyung-because our fans, the ones who are supposed to love us, are the reason why we can’t even talk to girls from our own company? How’s that for making me hate?”
He flinches at Donghae’s harsh words. And they’re harsh because they’re true. “You expected this, Donghae-ah. This is what you signed up for.”
Donghae’s bottom lip is trembling. “You’re leaving tomorrow, hyung. That leaves only nine of us.” Heechul feels himself teetering, on a tightrope and about to lose his balance-“Super Junior was supposed to be our home. But I don’t feel at home anymore.”
And he feels himself falling.
“This is home,” he says, voice much weaker than what he wants it to be. “There isn’t going to be another home. So you might as well get used to it.”
Angry tears spill from Donghae’s eyes. “Super Junior was supposed to give me strength.”
Not able to find the right words, Heechul opens his arms, and Donghae presses up against him. Shaking, as if on the brink of keeping himself together. Heechul holds him tight, and does his best to keep the pieces together-because Donghae, of all people-he never wants Donghae to be like himself.
“This is home,” he whispers into Donghae’s hair. “This is home.”
- this hasn't been proofread but i don't care because i've been in such a rut for writing lately that i'm glad i finished anything at all
- also i am so disappointed with what livejournal has done with itself, what, i can't even center or align my text to the right anymore?
- i'm so tired i don't even care okay i hope this was bearable
heechul/donghae | angst/friendship | pg
heechul is falling. heechul is breaking. heechul is already broken. (but donghae isn’t.)
challenge masterlist.
The night before Heechul leaves for the army, there’s a loud thump in the living room. Heechul lays in bed for a long moment, contemplating if he should go see what happened-and he almost decides against it, until he remembers that after tomorrow, he won’t be sleeping in this bed anymore, and he won’t even get to decide if he wants to go out into the living room or not at all. So he swings his legs over the bed, slips his feet into his slippers, and shuffles out into the living room.
It’s Donghae. Heechul isn’t quite sure what he’s doing-the younger man is staring at the wall, face scrunched into an expression of deep concentration.
“What’s up?” Heechul asks, ruffling the back of his hair.
Surprised, Donghae looks up at him. “Hyung.” He pauses. “I, uh…I think I dented the wall.”
Heechul glances at the wall. It’s dented indeed. “What do you do, punch it?” Donghae shuffles sheepishly on his feet. “Dude, why’d you punch the wall?”
The younger man looks away. “I’ve just been hating everything lately, hyung.”
Heechul’s heart clenches a little, because Donghae has always been one of the members who always smiles no matter what. Even through his tears, he smiles. “What in particular is making you hate?”
“I don’t know, maybe how we’re at the end of our line?” The lines in Donghae’s face run a little too deep, the bags a little too dark. “How our own company doesn’t even give two shits about us? Oh, or how about this, hyung-because our fans, the ones who are supposed to love us, are the reason why we can’t even talk to girls from our own company? How’s that for making me hate?”
He flinches at Donghae’s harsh words. And they’re harsh because they’re true. “You expected this, Donghae-ah. This is what you signed up for.”
Donghae’s bottom lip is trembling. “You’re leaving tomorrow, hyung. That leaves only nine of us.” Heechul feels himself teetering, on a tightrope and about to lose his balance-“Super Junior was supposed to be our home. But I don’t feel at home anymore.”
And he feels himself falling.
“This is home,” he says, voice much weaker than what he wants it to be. “There isn’t going to be another home. So you might as well get used to it.”
Angry tears spill from Donghae’s eyes. “Super Junior was supposed to give me strength.”
Not able to find the right words, Heechul opens his arms, and Donghae presses up against him. Shaking, as if on the brink of keeping himself together. Heechul holds him tight, and does his best to keep the pieces together-because Donghae, of all people-he never wants Donghae to be like himself.
“This is home,” he whispers into Donghae’s hair. “This is home.”
- this hasn't been proofread but i don't care because i've been in such a rut for writing lately that i'm glad i finished anything at all
- also i am so disappointed with what livejournal has done with itself, what, i can't even center or align my text to the right anymore?
- i'm so tired i don't even care okay i hope this was bearable