Real Person Fic - J2: Cue the Sun [Part 1/2]
Title: Cue the Sun [Part 1/2]
Fandom: Real Person Fic - J2
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen, some Chris/Jensen and past Jared/Sandy
Genre: Adventure, Romance
Rating: NC-17 for Graphic Sexual Content, Really Unethical Parenting, Drug/Alcohol Use, Language, Making Poor Kripke Into a Total Dick, and Boys Being Boys.
Word Count: 7,872 [16,313 total]
Author’s Note: Written for j2_everafter where my prompt was Bolt. This story is actually really close to the movie, or rather, this story is what would happen if Bolt and The Truman Show had a baby and the baby had a better looking cast than either of its parents. Title shamelessly stolen from The Truman Show. This was beta’d by the single most beautiful person on the planet, wutendeskind. I also want to send a thank you to monjinator and scorpiod1 for letting me rant at them (literally for hours) and convincing me this wasn’t the worst story concept ever (blame them if you disagree!), and one last thank you to lavendergaia for being brutally honest and pointing out some gaping plot holes. ETA 5/7/2013: Thanks to eos_rose, you can now read this in epub format here.
Summary: AU: Jared Padalecki lived twenty years without knowing his life was a TV show. When he accidentally ended up stranded in the real world, it fell to a complete stranger to save him.
Jared Padalecki was a science experiment that went too far. One morning, Eric Kripke (the genius behind some of the world’s most popular television shows: Real World Ghost Busters, Wayward Brothers, and Fallen Angels) woke up with what he thought was the most brilliant idea he had ever had and, like any truly inspired person, he did everything he could to make it real. If anybody had actually expected it to work out, someone may have done something to stop it. But everybody who was handed the pitch assumed the project would be shut down at the next level, didn’t want to be the person who told television’s most profitable series creator that his pet concept was unethical for so many reasons they weren’t worth listing. He didn’t see the problem. In fact, to this day he has refused to admit that there was anything wrong with it at all. He insisted that Jared had always been happy-certainly happier than people stuck living in the real world. By the time the studio executives started paying attention, it was too late. There was too much money wrapped up in the project. Morality didn’t seem as important when the ratings started to pour in.
Like most people who had spent their lives in Hollywood, Kripke was tired of fake. Unlike most people, he chose to do something about it. It started with a little boy who was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. His mother couldn’t take care of him. She loved him enough to give him up. They promised her that her son would be in good hands, that he would be a star, and that she would get to see him at least once a week. They forgot to mention it would be through a glass screen and that he would never know she existed. She signed him over.
They kept it quiet. Nobody knew except for the people who absolutely had to: Kripke, a few head honchos at the network, the actors, directors-anyone directly involved with the show. The hush money wasn’t cheap. Neither was building a convincing world out of nothing. But it all paid itself back within the first few seasons; Raised in Captivity was the most successful television program in history.
The premise was a show about a boy who didn’t know his life was on television. They marketed it as if it was just a gimmick, as if Jared was just a talented kid. People watched because it felt real. None of them realized that it was.
Twenty years later, Jared was twenty-two years old, engaged, and completely unbeknownst to him, a nationwide celebrity. Because of the amount of material that had to be edited, Raised in Captivity was only on its fifteenth season but it was still getting some of the highest ratings on television. It wasn’t the most exciting show in the world, but Jared’s sincerity got audiences attached. People rarely stopped watching once they started.
It hadn’t been easy to keep the charade going once Jared had gotten old enough to start asking questions, but since his parents told him the things that he asked about were normal and because he didn’t know anything else, he accepted them. By the time Jared had grown up, most of the people who knew didn’t feel bad about it anymore (if they ever had). They figured that he would be better off not knowing because telling him would probably drive him insane. Somehow, this made them feel better.
Jared had a normal family. He had a mom, a dad, a big brother named Jeff, and a little sister named Megan. Jeff had been a stunt cast to boost ratings before Jared was old enough to carry the show on his own. By the time Jared was nine, Jeff had “gone to college” (a euphemism for “gotten too expensive to be worth keeping around”) and Jared only saw him on holidays-they never got close. His parents had always been affectionate but aloof and a little too strict. Something was off in every aspect of Jared’s life that Jared could never quite put his finger on. Every aspect except for one: his little sister, Megan.
Megan had been told what was happening as soon as she had been old enough to understand it. She knew she was an actress and that Jared wasn’t her brother. She wasn’t allowed to tell him and she obeyed because the studio executives told her that if she did, she would never see him again. She hated it, but she went along with it for Jared. He was her best friend. She grew up with him and, even if she went home every night, she was just as isolated as he was. She worked too often to meet other children. She had no siblings of her own. She clung to Jared and Jared clung to her-as far as she was concerned, Jared really was her brother.
Jared and Megan fought like any siblings, but they were almost inseparable their entire lives. Jared adored his little sister, tried to protect her, and did his best to make her smile. Megan was usually happy when she was with Jared, but sometimes she would look at him in a sad, sorry way and Jared didn’t know what it was but he knew he was missing something.
Jared’s fiancée, Sandra, was the prettiest girl he knew and he liked her more than any of the other girls he’d dated. They got along, there was nothing wrong. It wasn’t exactly explosive, but Jared was sure he could be happy with her. He proposed because it was what everyone had seemed to want him to do, except for Megan who shook her head, asked Jared how he didn’t get “it,” and left the room.
Jared also had a best friend named Chad who was, well…Chad was Chad. He meant well most of the time. The rest of the time, he was trouble.
“Morning, Megan, you sure are looking lovely today,” Chad said, with exaggerated sweetness as he sauntered into his best friend’s living room. Jared gritted his teeth-he had gotten over the fact that Chad would hit on anything female years ago, but the fact that Megan had recently started attracting Chad’s attention infuriated him.
“I’m still sixteen, Murray,” Megan replied, rolling her eyes.
“How does that always happen to me?” Chad asked, sounding sincere, before turning his attention to Jared. “Hey, man, can I talk to you for a minute in private?”
“Uh, sure?”
Jared looked at Megan who shrugged and walked out and Chad sat down next to him.
“So, you got any plans for the next week or so?”
“Not really, just going to be hanging around here.”
“Alone?”
“Uh, yeah, that’s the point of having my own place, right?”
“No, look. Your life is depressing.”
“What about my life is depressing?”
Chad opened his mouth, then closed it, and seemed to think for a bit.
“Don’t you ever get tired of sitting around by yourself while everyone’s off doing their thing?”
“Not really, that’s just how it is.”
“Well, I say that’s depressing. And you’re, you know, you’re a pretty cool guy. Genuinely.”
Jared lifted an eyebrow. “Are you feeling alright?”
“I think you need to get out. And I’m about to go on a pretty fucking sweet vacay to Mexico over the…hiatus-uh, vacation or whatever they call it.” Chad threw a look over his shoulder as if he was trying to make sure no one was watching. “I want you to come.”
“I can’t just take off, dude. My parents would flip.”
“You’re twenty-two years old. You have never been out of this town. Don’t you think you ought to, like, leave this place for a while at some point in your life?”
In all honesty, Jared had been itching to get out of his home town, even if just for a few hours, since he had been twelve years old. Every time he’d asked his parents, they’d told him he would be better off never leaving, listed all the reasons he couldn’t go. Grudgingly, Jared had agreed to stay put, but the idea of going on a real vacation with his best friend was too much to turn down. After all, his whole family was going to be gone for the next week. Jared never knew where they went, but they’d been doing it so long he had stopped wondering. He didn’t see any harm in agreeing.
“What do I do?”
“Don’t tell anyone; just have some shit packed by midnight. And only pack between the hours of 6 and 8, alright?”
“Why only between 6 and 8?”
“That’s when security goes on break.”
“Huh?”
“Uh…that’s when your parents are least likely to pay you a surprise visit.” Chad nodded as if this had been a very sagely explanation and when Jared just looked more confused, Chad rolled his eyes. “Just do what I say, asshole.”
Jared gave Chad a look like he was crazy, but, just in case, he obeyed his friend’s instructions.
At exactly midnight, Jared heard a knock at the door. He tried to make his way quietly to the living room but Megan, who was staying with him before her vacation, had answered the door before he made it out. She took one look at Jared’s guilty expression and at the bag hanging off his shoulder and turned on Chad.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Chad smiled stupidly and Jared jumped in before Chad could say something to ruin his chance of getting out.
“We’re going on a trip, Meg. Just while you all are away. No one will even know. Please don’t tell? I really wanna go.”
Megan’s expression softened for a moment.
“He’ll be back before anyone gets in to check, I did my research. And I’m going to look out, make sure no one tells him anything. No harm done. The kid needs some air.”
Megan nodded. “You let anything happen to him and I’ll castrate you. Understood?”
“I’m not ten years old, I can take care of-“
“Shut up, I’m talking to Murray. Understood?”
“Yeah, something about the mental image got your point across.”
“Good. I’ll think of something to tell the parents.” Megan glanced meaningfully in Chad’s direction. “To buy you some time tomorrow.”
Jared was unclear on why Chad insisted he hide in the back seat for the first thirty minutes of the drive out, but he was having entirely too much fun to complain. Chad had somehow managed to secure them a private flight, though he was dodgy and unclear when Jared asked how the hell he’d managed to afford that (or why he’d bothered), and the only thing Jared was really sure about from his first few hours of freedom was that his best friend was certifiably insane. When the plane landed, Chad informed Jared that they weren’t in Mexico yet because it would be more fun to drive there. They would leave the next morning in the truck Chad had rented and Chad already had two rooms reserved for them in the city they landed in.
Jared had never been in a hotel room, considering the fact that he’d never spent a night farther away from home than Chad’s house (and he was pretty sure his home town didn’t even have hotels), so he spent the first few hours acting like a giant kid: opening all the single use soaps and conditioners and calling room service. He went on like that until Chad knocked on his door and told him to get dressed because they were going out.
Chad was determined to show Jared a good time, or so he’d said when they had arrived at the bar. After about ten minutes, Jared could tell it would be a night of standing around awkwardly while Chad had fun. The bar was buzzing with life in a way Jared had never experienced before-it excited him, but he couldn’t help panicking a little every time Chad left him alone. Which was pretty often. Most recently, he had approached Jared and drunkenly murmured something along the lines of “Jared, this is Paris. She’s over 18 and that almost never happens, so I’m going to go for a bit and I’ll be right back. You just wait right here, k?”
Three hours later, Jared had met a lot of nice people. Most of them looked at him closely before introducing themselves and asking if they could buy him drinks. They all seemed inexplicably excited to be talking to him, though they didn’t seem to want to tell him why (and laughed like it was a great joke when he asked), and Jared was a little too drunk and tired of waiting for Chad to pay attention to them. His friend had been gone for hours, probably passed out if Jared was going to be honest, and he had no idea how to get back to the hotel. To make the situation even more unfortunate, the place was beginning to empty out and Jared had no idea where he was going to go once they kicked him out.
He took the chance to ask for help when a waiter passed by him, hoping maybe the guy would know what to do even though Jared was too far gone on free alcohol to remember what kind of help to ask for.
“Hey, ‘cuse me, can you help me?”
The guy stopped immediately and gave Jared one of those indulgent smiles sober people give annoying drunks.
“Can I get you something else? Though I should let you know, we’re closing up pretty soon.”
“No more, please.”
The waiter chuckled and tilted his head a little. “Wow, you look familiar. Do I know you?”
“I dun think so. My name’s Jared. I’m looking for a guy. Can you help me?”
“Hey, Jared, I’m Steve. I’m sorry to tell you I can’t help you, but I think my roommate can. He’s standing right over there, just ask for Jensen. He’ll be plenty happy to help you out.”
The waiter gave Jared a private smile and continued on his way. Jared wasn’t really sure how some random guy at a bar was going to help him find Chad, but he wasn’t really in a place to be picky.
He walked across the bar and stopped in front of the two guys Steve had indicated. One of them was resting an arm against the wall and leaning in close to talk to the other guy until he noticed Jared watching them and looked up.
“Is there a reason you’re standing there staring at us, buddy?”
“Are you Jensen?”
“Yeah. So?”
“Steve,” Jared pointed in the general direction Steve had gone in, “said you could help me. I’m looking for someone.”
Jensen looked Jared up and down and a pleasant smile broke out on his face. “Hell yes, I can help you.”
The guy Jensen had been talking to turned to glare at Jared and then looked back at Jensen, who shrugged unapologetically. The stranger turned and walked off briskly and Jared felt kind of bad, mostly because he had no idea what he’d done to piss the guy off.
“What did I do?”
“You won,” Jensen said, squeezing Jared’s shoulder. “Want me to take you home?”
Jared nodded and thought something along the lines of “People in this town sure are friendly.”
The walk “home” was incredibly awkward but mercifully short. Jensen kept saying things Jared was too drunk to understand and when he stopped outside of a building and approached the entrance, it wasn’t the hotel Jared and Chad had been staying in. Nevertheless, Jared followed Jensen upstairs to his apartment without question. Jensen seemed trustworthy and Jared was out of options without a chance in hell at thinking of anything better.
Jensen opened the door and helped Jared in. He closed it lightly before turning his attention to Jared.
“Look, it’s Jared, right?”
Jared nodded.
“It genuinely pains me to say this, but I don’t think this is such a good idea. In the short time between leaving the bar and getting here, it’s become more than a little obvious that you’ve had a few too many. And by that I mean, I think you’ve had about thirty too many. So why don’t I take you back to your place, give you my number, and if you’re still interested when you’ve rested up and regained your ability to consent, you can call me?”
Jared stared blankly. “Where is my place?”
“You’ve got to be joking.”
“He didn’t tell me the name of the hotel.” Jared’s stomach was already starting to churn and he felt more than a little hopeless. “I’m lost.”
“Okay, hey, calm down. We’ve got a couch here. It’s about half your size but it’s real comfy. You can stay here tonight and you’ll be good as new in the morning. Or, you know, coherent. Theoretically.”
Jared let Jensen lead him to the couch and was asleep before he’d even realized he was sitting.
Jared came to over the period of about an hour. It was the single most painful hour of his life. He’d been hung-over before but this was an entirely different animal. His head was being run over by a semi-trunk, his eyes burned as if the sun was staring into them, and rather than cotton mouth, Jared was pretty sure he had an entire rabbit shoved in there. There were raised voices coming from the kitchen and the faint smell of something that normally would have been labeled delicious but which currently made Jared feel like he was going to empty out the entire contents of his stomach, including the actual stomach itself. And then he remembered that he was lost in a mystery city, sleeping on a stranger’s couch. It wasn’t Jared’s favorite morning ever. He sat up reluctantly and slowly attempted to make sense of the noise filtering out of the kitchen.
“Could have robbed us blind, you moron.”
“He didn’t, did he?
“I don’t give a shit, man. I let you stay here; I don’t think it’s that much to ask that you don’t let the strangers you mess around with sleep where my shit is.”
“Look, I’m sorry. He was a mess. He didn’t even know where to go. I couldn’t just kick him out like that.”
“You shouldn’t have brought him here to begin with, then.”
“You’re the asshole who sent him to come talk to me! I figured you’d talked to him-I didn’t even realize how bad off he was until we got here.”
“Alright, look, I get it, but no more adopting strays. I’ve got enough with you on my hands. I’m going out. You watch him and I want him out as soon as he’s awake.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Jared cringed as the door slammed and he heard Jensen walk into the room. Every step seemed to echo a hundred times.
“Walk softer,” Jared grumbled. He heard a little chuckle in reply.
“Learned our lesson, have we?” Jensen was one giant smile and his laughing eyes were so green, Jared could tell what color they were despite the fact that his own eyes were quite likely bleeding. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jared registered that Jensen was kind of beautiful. But his immediate thought was that this guy was taking way too much pleasure in his misery.
“I hate you.”
“Lovely. I made you some grease with a side of bacon and coffee.”
Jared had to cover his mouth to stop himself from gagging.
“I know, it sounds like the last thing you want, but trust me. I’m an expert.”
Jensen handed Jared a plate and Jared ignored the protestations of his organs, swallowed down what seemed to be eggs. Astonishingly, Jensen was right. Jared felt better after breakfast, even if a good portion of him still wanted to die a little bit.
“Thanks,” Jared said groggily as he set aside his clean plate. “That was really nice of you.”
“I’m a real gentleman. So do I win a second date?”
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“You are gay, right? I mean, I didn’t completely get this wrong?”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“Funny.”
“No, really, I don’t.”
Jensen looked at him for a long time before answering. “You aren’t kidding, are you? How the hell does that happen?”
“I don’t know…my parents kind of sheltered me? Why, is it important?”
“It’s Texas, everyone’s parents sheltered them, but come on. You can’t be your age and not know what gay is. Holy shit-you are eighteen, right? Because you don’t look like a kid to me.”
“I’m twenty-two, dude.”
“Oh. Well then, yeah, that’s total bullshit. You need to get out more.”
“I hear that a lot, but I’m really not seeing it doing me any good. Are you gonna tell me or what?”
Jensen bit his lip and looked away.
“So are you ready to go home yet?” he asked evasively, taking Jared’s plate to the kitchen.
“I don’t know where home is.”
Jared heard a clatter of things falling from the next room. Seconds later, Jensen reappeared looking considerably less friendly than he had when he’d gone into the kitchen.
“Are you playing with me? Because I am on thin fucking ice thanks to you.”
“No, I mean, I really don’t know.”
“What do you know?”
“My friend brought me here and took me to that bar. He left and he didn’t come back. He didn’t tell me where we were staying; I don’t even know where we are right now.”
“You’re in El Paso, Texas, sitting on a shady stranger’s couch. You’re going to cost me free lodging if you don’t figure out where the hell to go soon, so I suggest you get calling some hotels and find your friend because you’re out that door ten minutes before Steve gets home in a couple of hours.”
Jared didn’t have to be told twice. He spent the rest of the day researching the area and making phone calls. Occasionally Jensen would pop into the room and offer to get him something; it was obvious that Jared was making him antsy. Jensen seemed genuinely worried over whether or not Jared was going to figure out what to do and he was actually pretty good at making Jared laugh and feel a little better when he was around. Which was something, but not much. Jared’s research was only leading him even closer to the conclusion that he was fucked.
After hours of work, Jared had narrowed his search down to seven possible hotels. Jared called four before anyone had a record of a Chad Michael Murray. Chad, the fifth clerk informed Jared, had checked out that morning in a panic and, no, they didn’t have any way to reach him.
“I’m going to die,” Jared announced, assuming he was still alone and trying to get himself used to the idea.
“What’s wrong now?”
“He left. No number or messages or anything.”
“That’s a pretty bad fix you’re in there.” Jensen worried at his bottom lip and Jared felt kind of bad for causing this poor stranger so much stress.
He shook his head. “Forget it, I’m leaving. I’m not your problem.”
Jensen looked guilty for a second. “Why don’t you just buy a ticket home? Obviously if this Chad guy checked out without you, he’s not worth waiting around for.”
“I couldn’t agree more. But I don’t have any money on me and I don’t really even know where home is.”
“What exactly do you mean when you say you don’t know where home is? Because you’ve got to know something.”
“I know the town name but I tried asking the people on the phone if they knew where that was and they all seemed to think I was making some kind of joke. I’ve never left home before and I let him make all the plans. This was a huge mistake.”
“Let’s try to figure this out, alright? What can you tell me about home? Any dead giveaways? Big red bridges, palm trees, a giant green lady and skyscrapers?”
Jared paused to think. “It’s a really small town and it’s always cold.”
“Guess we can strike Texas off the list of possibilities. That’s really all you know?”
Jared buried his head in his hands.
“Well, we know it’s probably up north, because it’s colder up there. That’s a start.”
“That’s nothing.”
“I’ve made something out of less before.”
“That’s fucking wonderful for you, but what the fuck am I going to do?” Jared probably hadn’t cursed that much out loud since ninth grade when his mother had refused to let him see Chad for a month because Chad had taught him about swearing.
“I don’t know, figure it out? How much do you know about roughing it?”
“Roughing what?”
“Nothing, great. How do these things happen to me? I had a perfectly attractive guy I could have actually scored with; instead I pick up some kid with amnesia and no way to get home. Fantastic.”
“I don’t have amnesia! I remember everything.”
“Except where you have lived your entire life.”
“You make it sound worse than it is.”
“It’s pretty fucking bleak.”
Right then, Jared heard the door open and Steve walked in.
“What’s he still doing here?”
“Relax, Carlson, he’s just leaving.”
“I am?”
“Yeah. We both are. I’ve got a friend in Portland I’ve owed a visit for a while now. I think we’ll know where you’re going by the time we get that far. I’ll teach you how to get around until we get to Oregon, and you can take it from there.”
“Are you insane?” Steve asked, holding himself more like a stern mother than a roommate.
“Is that a serious question?”
“He could be a psychopath for all you know.”
“I’m sitting right here,” Jared interjected.
“We both know I can take care of myself. I genuinely think he can’t. Anyway, you know this sitting in one place thing makes me itch. I’ve been meaning to get out for a while, go see Chris. I think it’s a great idea.”
“I think you’re insane.”
“Insane or not, I’m going to go pack my shit, and then you’re gonna drive us to the train station.”
Steve threw his hands in the air and marched out of the room as if he’d had fights like this with Jensen before and knew better than to try and win it. Jared kind of agreed with Steve that it was a crazy and, frankly, kind of stupid plan. He didn’t even know Jensen and as nice as the guy seemed, even Jared was supposed to know better than to follow strangers across continents. But Jared had agreed to a lot of stupid, insane plans in the last few days and he decided not to break pattern just yet.
When Jensen said “roughing it,” he wasn’t kidding. He’d been travelling around the country since he was a kid and he knew how to charm and steal his way anywhere, or so he said. Jared and Jensen were traveling like characters in some movie: sneaking from empty train car to empty train car, hitch-hiking, living off nothing and making it go far. Sometimes they had to do a few days’ work to earn their keep, but usually they got halfway on cunning and halfway on endurance. They never stole from people per say, but they snuck more than their fair share of free rides and the occasional neglected meal. When Jared forgot to worry about how dangerous the whole thing was, he had to admit he was having the time of his life. At first it was hard for him to relax enough for that but it became easier everyday he spent getting used to the new way of life and getting used to Jensen. Jensen was like no one Jared had ever encountered. People as exciting as Jensen weren’t supposed to exist and even though, logically, Jared knew Jensen was teaching him stuff that good, respectable boys weren’t supposed to know, Jared couldn’t help thinking that Jensen was the best person he’d ever met in his life.
Jensen taught Jared how to charm people into sharing food or offering a place to stay overnight. Jared far surpassed his teacher. For some reason, people acted like he was doing them a favor by accepting things from them.
“I don’t get it,” Jensen would say every time. “You’re cute, but you’re not that cute.”
Jared didn’t really get it either.
He did his best to learn fast, made sure to stay out of sight despite his size-they hardly ever saw anyone unless they went looking for people. It was nice to constantly be in Jensen’s company and as much as Jensen had rolled his eyes and complained that Jared was hopeless at first, it wasn’t long before the other man was as comfortable as Jared was. He laughed when Jared made jokes, looked proud when Jared picked things up quickly, smiled at him sometimes with something so honest Jared was afraid of it.
They passed the time swapping stories. Jared didn’t have much life experience but Jensen seemed genuinely fascinated by everything he said. Jensen would ask a million questions and his eyes would go wide when Jared talked about things he was pretty sure were common place: his family, his boring office job, his sliced bread apartment. When Jared would try saying “Didn’t your family have…?” or “What was it like for you…?” Jensen always avoided the question. He didn’t tell Jared anything about his childhood, but he was so good about changing the topic that Jared rarely realized it was being done until he was trying to fall asleep with bits of his day cycling through his mind.
Jared loved to hear Jensen talk, too. He wasn’t completely out of reach to Jared and what he did share was incredible. Jared was flabbergasted that Jensen could possibly give a crap about what he had to say when Jensen had seen and done so much. He had a road map that he used to track their progress-it was one of the classy ones that spread out too far for one person to hold it open at once, with at least fifty different pages detailing most of North America. It was worn from years of use but it was still the nicest thing Jensen had and the only possession that he had any attachment to. He loved that map like an old friend and the first time Jensen let Jared hold it for an extended period of time, Jared’s entire body tingled with pride.
It was an ideal conversation piece. When Jensen wanted to avoid a question or if Jared seemed particularly bored, Jensen would point to a place on the map and tell Jared a story about it. He marked every place he traveled to and all the pages on the map were more marked than empty-Jensen had been bouncing around for a long time.
Jensen had met a lot of people on his travels and sometimes they stopped in a town or city where Jensen could get free lodging for a few nights. The first of these was a ranch somewhere in Arizona inhabited by a middle aged widow and her teenage daughter, Julie. Jensen had the kind of look that would either make mothers want to hide their children or sit him down and force feed him. Mrs. Williams answered the door in a tidy blue dress with her graying hair pulled into a flawless bun and she had the look of the kind of person who would label Jensen a gutter rat and call the police. Jared was pretty blown away when she pulled him into a close hug and promptly pulled him inside.
She paused when she saw Jared standing behind him and gave Jensen a speculative look.
“Relax, ma’am, Jared’s with me,” Jensen said, giving her a conspiratorial wink and she welcomed them both inside warmly, apologizing because dinner wasn’t quite ready yet.
Jared and Jensen ended up sharing a room with two twin beds that apparently belonged to Mrs. Williams’ “boys” before they went away to school. It was the first comfortable bed Jared had slept on in weeks, even if it was a little small for him. Mrs. Williams had let Jared and Jensen have as many bowls of soup as they wanted and had sent them off to bed without the least bit of concern that she was letting near strangers sleep in the same house as her daughter. Even the nights they’d worked for a place to sleep, the ranch owners had usually given them ten minute speeches about how many shot guns they had and then made the boys sleep in the barn or a separate guest house.
“Why does she like you so much?” Jared finally blurted out because it was seriously not going to let him sleep.
Jensen let out a low, breathy laugh from the other bed and for some reason it sent a thrill down Jared’s spine.
“My incredibly good manners and responsible appearance?”
“Try again.”
“I helped her out once. A few years ago. Julie was in trouble with some guys in town and I heard her, so I went and helped. Left me in pretty bad shape and she ended up putting me up here to recover for a few days. Treated me like I’m the messiah ever since.”
“Weird she’s letting me stay here, too, though. I mean, I get why she trusts you around her daughter but I’m a compl-“
“She thinks you’re ga-like me.”
“I still don’t know what that means because you still refuse to tell me.”
“I still don’t plan to.”
Jared let out an annoyed sound even though he was the one pushing something Jensen obviously didn’t want to talk about. Jared didn’t know why he cared so much. It didn’t seem like it was anything that important in the grand scheme of things, but he was sure he would know Jensen better if he knew and that was all Jared wanted.
“Why don’t you trust me, Jen?”
“Go to sleep, Jared.”
“I trust you.”
“You have to trust me.”
“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t hurt to return the fucking favor.”
“Your parents kept shit from you for a reason.”
“My parents were kind of jerks, dude. They didn’t tell me anything.”
“Don’t talk about them like that.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
“They didn’t tell you because they love you, Jared. They…what you tell me about them, it makes me believe in things I haven’t for a long time. You should thank them for it. They sheltered you, sure, but they had their reasons. I’m not gonna send you back worse than I got you.”
“It won’t make me worse, Jensen. I just want to know about you.”
“One day you’ll find out, I promise. But it’s gonna be a long time after you’ve gone home and forgotten about me. And then, if you hate me, I’ll at least still have…whatever, just quit asking.”
“I’m never gonna hate you and I’m never gonna forget about you.”
“Yeah, you will.”
“If you really think that, then why the fuck did you even decide to help me to begin with? You’re a dick to pretty much everyone else, why be so nice to me?”
Jared heard Jensen’s shrug. “I’m not feeling the heart-to-heart. Can you fucking go to sleep already?”
“No.”
“You ask too many questions.”
“You don’t give enough answers.”
Jensen seemed speculative for a long time. “You needed me, alright? Nobody needed me before and I know what it’s like to have no one when you need help. I didn’t want you to have to go through the things I did.”
“Jensen, you don’t have to protect me. I want to help you.”
“You can’t.”
“I wish you weren’t scared of me.”
“I’m not scared of anything.”
“Maybe not, but you’re scared of me.”
Jensen didn’t reply. Jared heard him turn over and pretend to fall asleep.
They left that ranch the next morning on foot and hitched rides until they got to yet another train station. They continued to make their way from train to city to hitch-hiked car to ranch to train, progressing at a steady rate every day.
They made it a long way like that, got farther than Jared had ever genuinely thought they would get and faster than he could have dreamed. As much as he wanted to let his family know that he was safe, he watched Jensen track their progress with a sense of horror. They were no closer to discovering where Jared’s home was, and while Jared knew it was wrong, he cursed inwardly every time he let something slip in conversation that Jensen said could help them find out. Jensen was determined to get Jared home, made the promise multiple times every day, and Jared did his best to seem grateful for that.
“We’re almost there,” Jared said casually one night, trying to pretend he was excited as Jensen marked off the last place he was sure they’d passed on the map. “We’ll probably be in Portland in a few hours.”
Jensen jumped up all of a sudden and started to collect his things. “We’re getting off at the next stop.”
“Why? We can get within half an hour’s walk if we stay until the stop after that.”
“I think we should walk the rest of the way.”
“That doesn’t make any-“
For half a second, Jared could see something like a plea on Jensen’s face, his own hesitation mirrored back at him. Jensen never asked for anything and Jared wanted him to have this.
“You’re right; someone will probably spot us if we try to get off at a station that busy.”
Jensen didn’t say thank you, but the way his crow’s feet showed when he smiled said it for him.
In the entire time Jared had been travelling with Jensen, that was (technically) the roughest day. By then Jared was used to the strain and the day’s walk was dirty but not unpleasant. Nevertheless, Jared was pretty thrilled when they stumbled upon some kind of remote village-it wasn’t big enough to even be called a town but Jared could smell food in the air and was ready to sleep in the grass if necessary.
“Jackpot!” Jensen said, with glee.
“This is exciting, why?”
“It’s a hippie colony, Jay.”
Jared shrugged. Jensen smirked mischievously.
“I’m such a bad influence on you,” he said, as if it was his proudest achievement. As usual, Jared was left confused.
The people at the hippie colony had been by far the friendliest they’d met on their travels, but also the weirdest. They shared everything willingly but it was all vegetables and cots and Jared was thankful, but still lost as to why Jensen had been so excited by the idea of a hippie colony. It wasn’t until they’d reached the outskirts of the city that Jensen revealed a tiny, poorly wrapped cigarette.
“I don’t smoke, though,” Jared reminded Jensen, as he handed off the bottle they were sharing.
“I know and I’m really proud of you for listening to that lesson in school. But trust me. You’re gonna have fun.”
Jared shrugged and inhaled the way Jensen taught him to. Always being right was getting to be a regular thing for Jensen and an hour later, both Jared and Jensen were very drunk, a little high, and having a whole lot of fun. Too much, maybe.
“You gotta be quieter, Sasquatch,” Jensen lectured for the thousandth time. Jensen had the infuriating ability to function perfectly regardless of the volume of compromising substances he had consumed. He said that was because he had spent a long time building up a resistance, which made perfect sense to Jared, who still sucked at the being drunk thing, let alone this. Jared wanted to listen, knew in his head that there was nothing to laugh so much about. But something about the spot on the wall behind them was the funniest damn thing he had ever seen in his life.
“Please, please, Jay, quiet down. If someone calls the cops…that would be really not good.”
“I know, but Jen, look at it.”
Jensen smiled fondly for half a second before they heard sirens. Jensen froze and Jared was so terrified that he couldn’t think of anything to do but laugh harder.
“Someone actually called the cops!”
“I hear that, will you please shut up?”
It was too late. An officer came around the corner and informed Jared and Jensen that they were both under arrest for disturbing the peace and, from the look of it, a whole lot more than that. Jared had never seen Jensen afraid until he saw the panic on his friend’s face as the officer approached. Seeing Jensen like that terrified him more than the fact that he was being shoved into a police car.
“Jen, I’m sorry.”
Jared had gotten pretty sober pretty fast. Jensen wouldn’t even look at him and Jared felt guiltier than he could ever remember feeling.
“Are you going to say anything at all?”
“You don’t want me to say anything to you right now.”
“You can tell me that you hate me. I would be okay with that.”
“I don’t…it wasn’t just your fault. I should have been smarter about this.”
“It’s not so bad, though, a noise complaint, a little bit of illegal substances. They might hold us over night, but-“
“They might hold you overnight. You’ve got a clean record. I…don’t.”
Jared felt like an idiot that it hadn’t occurred to him earlier, cursed himself inwardly for getting Jensen in trouble. He hated the idea of getting out first-he didn’t know what to do without Jensen. He didn’t really want to anymore.
They were separated as soon as they arrived at the station. Jensen was taken in first and Jared followed soon after. Jared tried to see where they took Jensen, but he was being walked in too quickly and Jared was stopped at the desk as soon as he walked in.
“Thanks, Lloyd, I’ll take this one from here,” the woman at the desk said, sounding bored.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, go do your job.”
The officer that had arrested Jared and Jensen smiled at her and left the station. A manic grin warped the woman’s lips as soon as he had walked out the door.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jensen hissed through the bars. “Shouldn’t you be in holding or something?”
“Uhh, actually, I made a friend with the lady who works out front. She let me go.”
“What? How?”
“Yeah, I flirted a little and she just asked me to sign a totally blank sheet of paper for her and that’s it! She turned her head while I walked out of the station!”
“But you’re still here.”
“Yeah! I snuck back in.” Jared produced a little golden key from his pocket and began to fiddle with the lock on Jensen’s cell. “And now I’m breaking you out!”
“You can’t break me out of prison!” Jensen’s angry whisper kind of made Jared want to laugh. He was having way more fun than he should have been.
“Yeah, look, they just leave the keys sitting around. I destroyed the evidence, too.”
By now, Jared was helping Jensen out of his cell and smiling stupidly.
“How high are you?”
“Preeeetttyyy high,” Jared replied playfully. Jensen did not appear to be amused.
“Do you have any idea how illegal this is? What the hell were you thinking?”
“I had to, Jen.”
“What do you mean you ‘had to’? Of course you didn’t ‘have to.’ You could get us both locked up for years.”
“You were already going to be locked up for years.”
Jensen swallowed. “You read my file?”
Jared nodded. “On the computer before I accidentally deleted the entry for tonight.”
“You had no right to do that.”
“I’m sorry? It’s not that big a deal.”
“Yeah, it’s a big fucking deal.” Jensen winced. “You can’t just go around reading people’s…I know how it looked to you, Jared. But I had to. Those things…I had to.”
Jared tried to purge the picture from his mind: a much younger Jensen, skinnier, dirtier, looking lost and weak and nothing like his Jensen. He’d already done everything he could to forget the things Jensen wanted to hide from him, things that had been done to Jensen which he had been punished for, but he couldn’t make it stop hurting-and if it hurt him, he figured it had to be killing Jensen. Jared did his best not to feel insulted that Jensen believed he would hold those things against him, as well.
“I didn’t understand half of it, and the rest of it…I know you had a rough time, Jen.”
It was a lie. He’d understood every word in Jensen’s file, but Jensen seemed to believe him-after all, it wasn’t a stretch to believe that Jared’s sheltered existence had not included the kinds of things Jensen had been forced to put up with. Jensen murmured Jared’s name and pulled him so close that Jared could taste his breath. Then he froze and pulled away and reminded Jared that they needed to get the hell out of dodge as quick as they could. Jared felt robbed.
They left the city the same way they’d entered, decided to sleep a little and sober up before they attempted to find Chris’s place. They found an open field and lay down in the grass (it wasn’t the dirtiest place they’d ended up sleeping in by a long shot). Facing the stars, they laughed and talked shit until Jared’s yawns and the left over effect of alcohol began to lull him out of the conversation.
“Jay, why don’t you go to sleep? You had an awfully big night. Lots of firsts. You deserve to relax.”
Jensen was sitting up on one side, turned to face Jared, and his hand was resting on Jared’s chest, right over his heart. All Jared could think about was how close Jensen had gotten to him earlier and how much he’d regretted it when Jensen had pulled away.
“You know,” Jared said, through a yawn and without really knowing what the hell he was going to say next, “I think if you were a chick, I would be in love with you.”
“That’s either the best or the worst thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Jensen said playfully. Jared thought it sounded sad, too, but he was asleep before he could really be sure about it.
Part Two
Fandom: Real Person Fic - J2
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen, some Chris/Jensen and past Jared/Sandy
Genre: Adventure, Romance
Rating: NC-17 for Graphic Sexual Content, Really Unethical Parenting, Drug/Alcohol Use, Language, Making Poor Kripke Into a Total Dick, and Boys Being Boys.
Word Count: 7,872 [16,313 total]
Author’s Note: Written for j2_everafter where my prompt was Bolt. This story is actually really close to the movie, or rather, this story is what would happen if Bolt and The Truman Show had a baby and the baby had a better looking cast than either of its parents. Title shamelessly stolen from The Truman Show. This was beta’d by the single most beautiful person on the planet, wutendeskind. I also want to send a thank you to monjinator and scorpiod1 for letting me rant at them (literally for hours) and convincing me this wasn’t the worst story concept ever (blame them if you disagree!), and one last thank you to lavendergaia for being brutally honest and pointing out some gaping plot holes. ETA 5/7/2013: Thanks to eos_rose, you can now read this in epub format here.
Summary: AU: Jared Padalecki lived twenty years without knowing his life was a TV show. When he accidentally ended up stranded in the real world, it fell to a complete stranger to save him.
Jared Padalecki was a science experiment that went too far. One morning, Eric Kripke (the genius behind some of the world’s most popular television shows: Real World Ghost Busters, Wayward Brothers, and Fallen Angels) woke up with what he thought was the most brilliant idea he had ever had and, like any truly inspired person, he did everything he could to make it real. If anybody had actually expected it to work out, someone may have done something to stop it. But everybody who was handed the pitch assumed the project would be shut down at the next level, didn’t want to be the person who told television’s most profitable series creator that his pet concept was unethical for so many reasons they weren’t worth listing. He didn’t see the problem. In fact, to this day he has refused to admit that there was anything wrong with it at all. He insisted that Jared had always been happy-certainly happier than people stuck living in the real world. By the time the studio executives started paying attention, it was too late. There was too much money wrapped up in the project. Morality didn’t seem as important when the ratings started to pour in.
Like most people who had spent their lives in Hollywood, Kripke was tired of fake. Unlike most people, he chose to do something about it. It started with a little boy who was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. His mother couldn’t take care of him. She loved him enough to give him up. They promised her that her son would be in good hands, that he would be a star, and that she would get to see him at least once a week. They forgot to mention it would be through a glass screen and that he would never know she existed. She signed him over.
They kept it quiet. Nobody knew except for the people who absolutely had to: Kripke, a few head honchos at the network, the actors, directors-anyone directly involved with the show. The hush money wasn’t cheap. Neither was building a convincing world out of nothing. But it all paid itself back within the first few seasons; Raised in Captivity was the most successful television program in history.
The premise was a show about a boy who didn’t know his life was on television. They marketed it as if it was just a gimmick, as if Jared was just a talented kid. People watched because it felt real. None of them realized that it was.
Twenty years later, Jared was twenty-two years old, engaged, and completely unbeknownst to him, a nationwide celebrity. Because of the amount of material that had to be edited, Raised in Captivity was only on its fifteenth season but it was still getting some of the highest ratings on television. It wasn’t the most exciting show in the world, but Jared’s sincerity got audiences attached. People rarely stopped watching once they started.
It hadn’t been easy to keep the charade going once Jared had gotten old enough to start asking questions, but since his parents told him the things that he asked about were normal and because he didn’t know anything else, he accepted them. By the time Jared had grown up, most of the people who knew didn’t feel bad about it anymore (if they ever had). They figured that he would be better off not knowing because telling him would probably drive him insane. Somehow, this made them feel better.
Jared had a normal family. He had a mom, a dad, a big brother named Jeff, and a little sister named Megan. Jeff had been a stunt cast to boost ratings before Jared was old enough to carry the show on his own. By the time Jared was nine, Jeff had “gone to college” (a euphemism for “gotten too expensive to be worth keeping around”) and Jared only saw him on holidays-they never got close. His parents had always been affectionate but aloof and a little too strict. Something was off in every aspect of Jared’s life that Jared could never quite put his finger on. Every aspect except for one: his little sister, Megan.
Megan had been told what was happening as soon as she had been old enough to understand it. She knew she was an actress and that Jared wasn’t her brother. She wasn’t allowed to tell him and she obeyed because the studio executives told her that if she did, she would never see him again. She hated it, but she went along with it for Jared. He was her best friend. She grew up with him and, even if she went home every night, she was just as isolated as he was. She worked too often to meet other children. She had no siblings of her own. She clung to Jared and Jared clung to her-as far as she was concerned, Jared really was her brother.
Jared and Megan fought like any siblings, but they were almost inseparable their entire lives. Jared adored his little sister, tried to protect her, and did his best to make her smile. Megan was usually happy when she was with Jared, but sometimes she would look at him in a sad, sorry way and Jared didn’t know what it was but he knew he was missing something.
Jared’s fiancée, Sandra, was the prettiest girl he knew and he liked her more than any of the other girls he’d dated. They got along, there was nothing wrong. It wasn’t exactly explosive, but Jared was sure he could be happy with her. He proposed because it was what everyone had seemed to want him to do, except for Megan who shook her head, asked Jared how he didn’t get “it,” and left the room.
Jared also had a best friend named Chad who was, well…Chad was Chad. He meant well most of the time. The rest of the time, he was trouble.
“Morning, Megan, you sure are looking lovely today,” Chad said, with exaggerated sweetness as he sauntered into his best friend’s living room. Jared gritted his teeth-he had gotten over the fact that Chad would hit on anything female years ago, but the fact that Megan had recently started attracting Chad’s attention infuriated him.
“I’m still sixteen, Murray,” Megan replied, rolling her eyes.
“How does that always happen to me?” Chad asked, sounding sincere, before turning his attention to Jared. “Hey, man, can I talk to you for a minute in private?”
“Uh, sure?”
Jared looked at Megan who shrugged and walked out and Chad sat down next to him.
“So, you got any plans for the next week or so?”
“Not really, just going to be hanging around here.”
“Alone?”
“Uh, yeah, that’s the point of having my own place, right?”
“No, look. Your life is depressing.”
“What about my life is depressing?”
Chad opened his mouth, then closed it, and seemed to think for a bit.
“Don’t you ever get tired of sitting around by yourself while everyone’s off doing their thing?”
“Not really, that’s just how it is.”
“Well, I say that’s depressing. And you’re, you know, you’re a pretty cool guy. Genuinely.”
Jared lifted an eyebrow. “Are you feeling alright?”
“I think you need to get out. And I’m about to go on a pretty fucking sweet vacay to Mexico over the…hiatus-uh, vacation or whatever they call it.” Chad threw a look over his shoulder as if he was trying to make sure no one was watching. “I want you to come.”
“I can’t just take off, dude. My parents would flip.”
“You’re twenty-two years old. You have never been out of this town. Don’t you think you ought to, like, leave this place for a while at some point in your life?”
In all honesty, Jared had been itching to get out of his home town, even if just for a few hours, since he had been twelve years old. Every time he’d asked his parents, they’d told him he would be better off never leaving, listed all the reasons he couldn’t go. Grudgingly, Jared had agreed to stay put, but the idea of going on a real vacation with his best friend was too much to turn down. After all, his whole family was going to be gone for the next week. Jared never knew where they went, but they’d been doing it so long he had stopped wondering. He didn’t see any harm in agreeing.
“What do I do?”
“Don’t tell anyone; just have some shit packed by midnight. And only pack between the hours of 6 and 8, alright?”
“Why only between 6 and 8?”
“That’s when security goes on break.”
“Huh?”
“Uh…that’s when your parents are least likely to pay you a surprise visit.” Chad nodded as if this had been a very sagely explanation and when Jared just looked more confused, Chad rolled his eyes. “Just do what I say, asshole.”
Jared gave Chad a look like he was crazy, but, just in case, he obeyed his friend’s instructions.
At exactly midnight, Jared heard a knock at the door. He tried to make his way quietly to the living room but Megan, who was staying with him before her vacation, had answered the door before he made it out. She took one look at Jared’s guilty expression and at the bag hanging off his shoulder and turned on Chad.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Chad smiled stupidly and Jared jumped in before Chad could say something to ruin his chance of getting out.
“We’re going on a trip, Meg. Just while you all are away. No one will even know. Please don’t tell? I really wanna go.”
Megan’s expression softened for a moment.
“He’ll be back before anyone gets in to check, I did my research. And I’m going to look out, make sure no one tells him anything. No harm done. The kid needs some air.”
Megan nodded. “You let anything happen to him and I’ll castrate you. Understood?”
“I’m not ten years old, I can take care of-“
“Shut up, I’m talking to Murray. Understood?”
“Yeah, something about the mental image got your point across.”
“Good. I’ll think of something to tell the parents.” Megan glanced meaningfully in Chad’s direction. “To buy you some time tomorrow.”
Jared was unclear on why Chad insisted he hide in the back seat for the first thirty minutes of the drive out, but he was having entirely too much fun to complain. Chad had somehow managed to secure them a private flight, though he was dodgy and unclear when Jared asked how the hell he’d managed to afford that (or why he’d bothered), and the only thing Jared was really sure about from his first few hours of freedom was that his best friend was certifiably insane. When the plane landed, Chad informed Jared that they weren’t in Mexico yet because it would be more fun to drive there. They would leave the next morning in the truck Chad had rented and Chad already had two rooms reserved for them in the city they landed in.
Jared had never been in a hotel room, considering the fact that he’d never spent a night farther away from home than Chad’s house (and he was pretty sure his home town didn’t even have hotels), so he spent the first few hours acting like a giant kid: opening all the single use soaps and conditioners and calling room service. He went on like that until Chad knocked on his door and told him to get dressed because they were going out.
Chad was determined to show Jared a good time, or so he’d said when they had arrived at the bar. After about ten minutes, Jared could tell it would be a night of standing around awkwardly while Chad had fun. The bar was buzzing with life in a way Jared had never experienced before-it excited him, but he couldn’t help panicking a little every time Chad left him alone. Which was pretty often. Most recently, he had approached Jared and drunkenly murmured something along the lines of “Jared, this is Paris. She’s over 18 and that almost never happens, so I’m going to go for a bit and I’ll be right back. You just wait right here, k?”
Three hours later, Jared had met a lot of nice people. Most of them looked at him closely before introducing themselves and asking if they could buy him drinks. They all seemed inexplicably excited to be talking to him, though they didn’t seem to want to tell him why (and laughed like it was a great joke when he asked), and Jared was a little too drunk and tired of waiting for Chad to pay attention to them. His friend had been gone for hours, probably passed out if Jared was going to be honest, and he had no idea how to get back to the hotel. To make the situation even more unfortunate, the place was beginning to empty out and Jared had no idea where he was going to go once they kicked him out.
He took the chance to ask for help when a waiter passed by him, hoping maybe the guy would know what to do even though Jared was too far gone on free alcohol to remember what kind of help to ask for.
“Hey, ‘cuse me, can you help me?”
The guy stopped immediately and gave Jared one of those indulgent smiles sober people give annoying drunks.
“Can I get you something else? Though I should let you know, we’re closing up pretty soon.”
“No more, please.”
The waiter chuckled and tilted his head a little. “Wow, you look familiar. Do I know you?”
“I dun think so. My name’s Jared. I’m looking for a guy. Can you help me?”
“Hey, Jared, I’m Steve. I’m sorry to tell you I can’t help you, but I think my roommate can. He’s standing right over there, just ask for Jensen. He’ll be plenty happy to help you out.”
The waiter gave Jared a private smile and continued on his way. Jared wasn’t really sure how some random guy at a bar was going to help him find Chad, but he wasn’t really in a place to be picky.
He walked across the bar and stopped in front of the two guys Steve had indicated. One of them was resting an arm against the wall and leaning in close to talk to the other guy until he noticed Jared watching them and looked up.
“Is there a reason you’re standing there staring at us, buddy?”
“Are you Jensen?”
“Yeah. So?”
“Steve,” Jared pointed in the general direction Steve had gone in, “said you could help me. I’m looking for someone.”
Jensen looked Jared up and down and a pleasant smile broke out on his face. “Hell yes, I can help you.”
The guy Jensen had been talking to turned to glare at Jared and then looked back at Jensen, who shrugged unapologetically. The stranger turned and walked off briskly and Jared felt kind of bad, mostly because he had no idea what he’d done to piss the guy off.
“What did I do?”
“You won,” Jensen said, squeezing Jared’s shoulder. “Want me to take you home?”
Jared nodded and thought something along the lines of “People in this town sure are friendly.”
The walk “home” was incredibly awkward but mercifully short. Jensen kept saying things Jared was too drunk to understand and when he stopped outside of a building and approached the entrance, it wasn’t the hotel Jared and Chad had been staying in. Nevertheless, Jared followed Jensen upstairs to his apartment without question. Jensen seemed trustworthy and Jared was out of options without a chance in hell at thinking of anything better.
Jensen opened the door and helped Jared in. He closed it lightly before turning his attention to Jared.
“Look, it’s Jared, right?”
Jared nodded.
“It genuinely pains me to say this, but I don’t think this is such a good idea. In the short time between leaving the bar and getting here, it’s become more than a little obvious that you’ve had a few too many. And by that I mean, I think you’ve had about thirty too many. So why don’t I take you back to your place, give you my number, and if you’re still interested when you’ve rested up and regained your ability to consent, you can call me?”
Jared stared blankly. “Where is my place?”
“You’ve got to be joking.”
“He didn’t tell me the name of the hotel.” Jared’s stomach was already starting to churn and he felt more than a little hopeless. “I’m lost.”
“Okay, hey, calm down. We’ve got a couch here. It’s about half your size but it’s real comfy. You can stay here tonight and you’ll be good as new in the morning. Or, you know, coherent. Theoretically.”
Jared let Jensen lead him to the couch and was asleep before he’d even realized he was sitting.
Jared came to over the period of about an hour. It was the single most painful hour of his life. He’d been hung-over before but this was an entirely different animal. His head was being run over by a semi-trunk, his eyes burned as if the sun was staring into them, and rather than cotton mouth, Jared was pretty sure he had an entire rabbit shoved in there. There were raised voices coming from the kitchen and the faint smell of something that normally would have been labeled delicious but which currently made Jared feel like he was going to empty out the entire contents of his stomach, including the actual stomach itself. And then he remembered that he was lost in a mystery city, sleeping on a stranger’s couch. It wasn’t Jared’s favorite morning ever. He sat up reluctantly and slowly attempted to make sense of the noise filtering out of the kitchen.
“Could have robbed us blind, you moron.”
“He didn’t, did he?
“I don’t give a shit, man. I let you stay here; I don’t think it’s that much to ask that you don’t let the strangers you mess around with sleep where my shit is.”
“Look, I’m sorry. He was a mess. He didn’t even know where to go. I couldn’t just kick him out like that.”
“You shouldn’t have brought him here to begin with, then.”
“You’re the asshole who sent him to come talk to me! I figured you’d talked to him-I didn’t even realize how bad off he was until we got here.”
“Alright, look, I get it, but no more adopting strays. I’ve got enough with you on my hands. I’m going out. You watch him and I want him out as soon as he’s awake.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Jared cringed as the door slammed and he heard Jensen walk into the room. Every step seemed to echo a hundred times.
“Walk softer,” Jared grumbled. He heard a little chuckle in reply.
“Learned our lesson, have we?” Jensen was one giant smile and his laughing eyes were so green, Jared could tell what color they were despite the fact that his own eyes were quite likely bleeding. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jared registered that Jensen was kind of beautiful. But his immediate thought was that this guy was taking way too much pleasure in his misery.
“I hate you.”
“Lovely. I made you some grease with a side of bacon and coffee.”
Jared had to cover his mouth to stop himself from gagging.
“I know, it sounds like the last thing you want, but trust me. I’m an expert.”
Jensen handed Jared a plate and Jared ignored the protestations of his organs, swallowed down what seemed to be eggs. Astonishingly, Jensen was right. Jared felt better after breakfast, even if a good portion of him still wanted to die a little bit.
“Thanks,” Jared said groggily as he set aside his clean plate. “That was really nice of you.”
“I’m a real gentleman. So do I win a second date?”
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”
“You are gay, right? I mean, I didn’t completely get this wrong?”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“Funny.”
“No, really, I don’t.”
Jensen looked at him for a long time before answering. “You aren’t kidding, are you? How the hell does that happen?”
“I don’t know…my parents kind of sheltered me? Why, is it important?”
“It’s Texas, everyone’s parents sheltered them, but come on. You can’t be your age and not know what gay is. Holy shit-you are eighteen, right? Because you don’t look like a kid to me.”
“I’m twenty-two, dude.”
“Oh. Well then, yeah, that’s total bullshit. You need to get out more.”
“I hear that a lot, but I’m really not seeing it doing me any good. Are you gonna tell me or what?”
Jensen bit his lip and looked away.
“So are you ready to go home yet?” he asked evasively, taking Jared’s plate to the kitchen.
“I don’t know where home is.”
Jared heard a clatter of things falling from the next room. Seconds later, Jensen reappeared looking considerably less friendly than he had when he’d gone into the kitchen.
“Are you playing with me? Because I am on thin fucking ice thanks to you.”
“No, I mean, I really don’t know.”
“What do you know?”
“My friend brought me here and took me to that bar. He left and he didn’t come back. He didn’t tell me where we were staying; I don’t even know where we are right now.”
“You’re in El Paso, Texas, sitting on a shady stranger’s couch. You’re going to cost me free lodging if you don’t figure out where the hell to go soon, so I suggest you get calling some hotels and find your friend because you’re out that door ten minutes before Steve gets home in a couple of hours.”
Jared didn’t have to be told twice. He spent the rest of the day researching the area and making phone calls. Occasionally Jensen would pop into the room and offer to get him something; it was obvious that Jared was making him antsy. Jensen seemed genuinely worried over whether or not Jared was going to figure out what to do and he was actually pretty good at making Jared laugh and feel a little better when he was around. Which was something, but not much. Jared’s research was only leading him even closer to the conclusion that he was fucked.
After hours of work, Jared had narrowed his search down to seven possible hotels. Jared called four before anyone had a record of a Chad Michael Murray. Chad, the fifth clerk informed Jared, had checked out that morning in a panic and, no, they didn’t have any way to reach him.
“I’m going to die,” Jared announced, assuming he was still alone and trying to get himself used to the idea.
“What’s wrong now?”
“He left. No number or messages or anything.”
“That’s a pretty bad fix you’re in there.” Jensen worried at his bottom lip and Jared felt kind of bad for causing this poor stranger so much stress.
He shook his head. “Forget it, I’m leaving. I’m not your problem.”
Jensen looked guilty for a second. “Why don’t you just buy a ticket home? Obviously if this Chad guy checked out without you, he’s not worth waiting around for.”
“I couldn’t agree more. But I don’t have any money on me and I don’t really even know where home is.”
“What exactly do you mean when you say you don’t know where home is? Because you’ve got to know something.”
“I know the town name but I tried asking the people on the phone if they knew where that was and they all seemed to think I was making some kind of joke. I’ve never left home before and I let him make all the plans. This was a huge mistake.”
“Let’s try to figure this out, alright? What can you tell me about home? Any dead giveaways? Big red bridges, palm trees, a giant green lady and skyscrapers?”
Jared paused to think. “It’s a really small town and it’s always cold.”
“Guess we can strike Texas off the list of possibilities. That’s really all you know?”
Jared buried his head in his hands.
“Well, we know it’s probably up north, because it’s colder up there. That’s a start.”
“That’s nothing.”
“I’ve made something out of less before.”
“That’s fucking wonderful for you, but what the fuck am I going to do?” Jared probably hadn’t cursed that much out loud since ninth grade when his mother had refused to let him see Chad for a month because Chad had taught him about swearing.
“I don’t know, figure it out? How much do you know about roughing it?”
“Roughing what?”
“Nothing, great. How do these things happen to me? I had a perfectly attractive guy I could have actually scored with; instead I pick up some kid with amnesia and no way to get home. Fantastic.”
“I don’t have amnesia! I remember everything.”
“Except where you have lived your entire life.”
“You make it sound worse than it is.”
“It’s pretty fucking bleak.”
Right then, Jared heard the door open and Steve walked in.
“What’s he still doing here?”
“Relax, Carlson, he’s just leaving.”
“I am?”
“Yeah. We both are. I’ve got a friend in Portland I’ve owed a visit for a while now. I think we’ll know where you’re going by the time we get that far. I’ll teach you how to get around until we get to Oregon, and you can take it from there.”
“Are you insane?” Steve asked, holding himself more like a stern mother than a roommate.
“Is that a serious question?”
“He could be a psychopath for all you know.”
“I’m sitting right here,” Jared interjected.
“We both know I can take care of myself. I genuinely think he can’t. Anyway, you know this sitting in one place thing makes me itch. I’ve been meaning to get out for a while, go see Chris. I think it’s a great idea.”
“I think you’re insane.”
“Insane or not, I’m going to go pack my shit, and then you’re gonna drive us to the train station.”
Steve threw his hands in the air and marched out of the room as if he’d had fights like this with Jensen before and knew better than to try and win it. Jared kind of agreed with Steve that it was a crazy and, frankly, kind of stupid plan. He didn’t even know Jensen and as nice as the guy seemed, even Jared was supposed to know better than to follow strangers across continents. But Jared had agreed to a lot of stupid, insane plans in the last few days and he decided not to break pattern just yet.
When Jensen said “roughing it,” he wasn’t kidding. He’d been travelling around the country since he was a kid and he knew how to charm and steal his way anywhere, or so he said. Jared and Jensen were traveling like characters in some movie: sneaking from empty train car to empty train car, hitch-hiking, living off nothing and making it go far. Sometimes they had to do a few days’ work to earn their keep, but usually they got halfway on cunning and halfway on endurance. They never stole from people per say, but they snuck more than their fair share of free rides and the occasional neglected meal. When Jared forgot to worry about how dangerous the whole thing was, he had to admit he was having the time of his life. At first it was hard for him to relax enough for that but it became easier everyday he spent getting used to the new way of life and getting used to Jensen. Jensen was like no one Jared had ever encountered. People as exciting as Jensen weren’t supposed to exist and even though, logically, Jared knew Jensen was teaching him stuff that good, respectable boys weren’t supposed to know, Jared couldn’t help thinking that Jensen was the best person he’d ever met in his life.
Jensen taught Jared how to charm people into sharing food or offering a place to stay overnight. Jared far surpassed his teacher. For some reason, people acted like he was doing them a favor by accepting things from them.
“I don’t get it,” Jensen would say every time. “You’re cute, but you’re not that cute.”
Jared didn’t really get it either.
He did his best to learn fast, made sure to stay out of sight despite his size-they hardly ever saw anyone unless they went looking for people. It was nice to constantly be in Jensen’s company and as much as Jensen had rolled his eyes and complained that Jared was hopeless at first, it wasn’t long before the other man was as comfortable as Jared was. He laughed when Jared made jokes, looked proud when Jared picked things up quickly, smiled at him sometimes with something so honest Jared was afraid of it.
They passed the time swapping stories. Jared didn’t have much life experience but Jensen seemed genuinely fascinated by everything he said. Jensen would ask a million questions and his eyes would go wide when Jared talked about things he was pretty sure were common place: his family, his boring office job, his sliced bread apartment. When Jared would try saying “Didn’t your family have…?” or “What was it like for you…?” Jensen always avoided the question. He didn’t tell Jared anything about his childhood, but he was so good about changing the topic that Jared rarely realized it was being done until he was trying to fall asleep with bits of his day cycling through his mind.
Jared loved to hear Jensen talk, too. He wasn’t completely out of reach to Jared and what he did share was incredible. Jared was flabbergasted that Jensen could possibly give a crap about what he had to say when Jensen had seen and done so much. He had a road map that he used to track their progress-it was one of the classy ones that spread out too far for one person to hold it open at once, with at least fifty different pages detailing most of North America. It was worn from years of use but it was still the nicest thing Jensen had and the only possession that he had any attachment to. He loved that map like an old friend and the first time Jensen let Jared hold it for an extended period of time, Jared’s entire body tingled with pride.
It was an ideal conversation piece. When Jensen wanted to avoid a question or if Jared seemed particularly bored, Jensen would point to a place on the map and tell Jared a story about it. He marked every place he traveled to and all the pages on the map were more marked than empty-Jensen had been bouncing around for a long time.
Jensen had met a lot of people on his travels and sometimes they stopped in a town or city where Jensen could get free lodging for a few nights. The first of these was a ranch somewhere in Arizona inhabited by a middle aged widow and her teenage daughter, Julie. Jensen had the kind of look that would either make mothers want to hide their children or sit him down and force feed him. Mrs. Williams answered the door in a tidy blue dress with her graying hair pulled into a flawless bun and she had the look of the kind of person who would label Jensen a gutter rat and call the police. Jared was pretty blown away when she pulled him into a close hug and promptly pulled him inside.
She paused when she saw Jared standing behind him and gave Jensen a speculative look.
“Relax, ma’am, Jared’s with me,” Jensen said, giving her a conspiratorial wink and she welcomed them both inside warmly, apologizing because dinner wasn’t quite ready yet.
Jared and Jensen ended up sharing a room with two twin beds that apparently belonged to Mrs. Williams’ “boys” before they went away to school. It was the first comfortable bed Jared had slept on in weeks, even if it was a little small for him. Mrs. Williams had let Jared and Jensen have as many bowls of soup as they wanted and had sent them off to bed without the least bit of concern that she was letting near strangers sleep in the same house as her daughter. Even the nights they’d worked for a place to sleep, the ranch owners had usually given them ten minute speeches about how many shot guns they had and then made the boys sleep in the barn or a separate guest house.
“Why does she like you so much?” Jared finally blurted out because it was seriously not going to let him sleep.
Jensen let out a low, breathy laugh from the other bed and for some reason it sent a thrill down Jared’s spine.
“My incredibly good manners and responsible appearance?”
“Try again.”
“I helped her out once. A few years ago. Julie was in trouble with some guys in town and I heard her, so I went and helped. Left me in pretty bad shape and she ended up putting me up here to recover for a few days. Treated me like I’m the messiah ever since.”
“Weird she’s letting me stay here, too, though. I mean, I get why she trusts you around her daughter but I’m a compl-“
“She thinks you’re ga-like me.”
“I still don’t know what that means because you still refuse to tell me.”
“I still don’t plan to.”
Jared let out an annoyed sound even though he was the one pushing something Jensen obviously didn’t want to talk about. Jared didn’t know why he cared so much. It didn’t seem like it was anything that important in the grand scheme of things, but he was sure he would know Jensen better if he knew and that was all Jared wanted.
“Why don’t you trust me, Jen?”
“Go to sleep, Jared.”
“I trust you.”
“You have to trust me.”
“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t hurt to return the fucking favor.”
“Your parents kept shit from you for a reason.”
“My parents were kind of jerks, dude. They didn’t tell me anything.”
“Don’t talk about them like that.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
“They didn’t tell you because they love you, Jared. They…what you tell me about them, it makes me believe in things I haven’t for a long time. You should thank them for it. They sheltered you, sure, but they had their reasons. I’m not gonna send you back worse than I got you.”
“It won’t make me worse, Jensen. I just want to know about you.”
“One day you’ll find out, I promise. But it’s gonna be a long time after you’ve gone home and forgotten about me. And then, if you hate me, I’ll at least still have…whatever, just quit asking.”
“I’m never gonna hate you and I’m never gonna forget about you.”
“Yeah, you will.”
“If you really think that, then why the fuck did you even decide to help me to begin with? You’re a dick to pretty much everyone else, why be so nice to me?”
Jared heard Jensen’s shrug. “I’m not feeling the heart-to-heart. Can you fucking go to sleep already?”
“No.”
“You ask too many questions.”
“You don’t give enough answers.”
Jensen seemed speculative for a long time. “You needed me, alright? Nobody needed me before and I know what it’s like to have no one when you need help. I didn’t want you to have to go through the things I did.”
“Jensen, you don’t have to protect me. I want to help you.”
“You can’t.”
“I wish you weren’t scared of me.”
“I’m not scared of anything.”
“Maybe not, but you’re scared of me.”
Jensen didn’t reply. Jared heard him turn over and pretend to fall asleep.
They left that ranch the next morning on foot and hitched rides until they got to yet another train station. They continued to make their way from train to city to hitch-hiked car to ranch to train, progressing at a steady rate every day.
They made it a long way like that, got farther than Jared had ever genuinely thought they would get and faster than he could have dreamed. As much as he wanted to let his family know that he was safe, he watched Jensen track their progress with a sense of horror. They were no closer to discovering where Jared’s home was, and while Jared knew it was wrong, he cursed inwardly every time he let something slip in conversation that Jensen said could help them find out. Jensen was determined to get Jared home, made the promise multiple times every day, and Jared did his best to seem grateful for that.
“We’re almost there,” Jared said casually one night, trying to pretend he was excited as Jensen marked off the last place he was sure they’d passed on the map. “We’ll probably be in Portland in a few hours.”
Jensen jumped up all of a sudden and started to collect his things. “We’re getting off at the next stop.”
“Why? We can get within half an hour’s walk if we stay until the stop after that.”
“I think we should walk the rest of the way.”
“That doesn’t make any-“
For half a second, Jared could see something like a plea on Jensen’s face, his own hesitation mirrored back at him. Jensen never asked for anything and Jared wanted him to have this.
“You’re right; someone will probably spot us if we try to get off at a station that busy.”
Jensen didn’t say thank you, but the way his crow’s feet showed when he smiled said it for him.
In the entire time Jared had been travelling with Jensen, that was (technically) the roughest day. By then Jared was used to the strain and the day’s walk was dirty but not unpleasant. Nevertheless, Jared was pretty thrilled when they stumbled upon some kind of remote village-it wasn’t big enough to even be called a town but Jared could smell food in the air and was ready to sleep in the grass if necessary.
“Jackpot!” Jensen said, with glee.
“This is exciting, why?”
“It’s a hippie colony, Jay.”
Jared shrugged. Jensen smirked mischievously.
“I’m such a bad influence on you,” he said, as if it was his proudest achievement. As usual, Jared was left confused.
The people at the hippie colony had been by far the friendliest they’d met on their travels, but also the weirdest. They shared everything willingly but it was all vegetables and cots and Jared was thankful, but still lost as to why Jensen had been so excited by the idea of a hippie colony. It wasn’t until they’d reached the outskirts of the city that Jensen revealed a tiny, poorly wrapped cigarette.
“I don’t smoke, though,” Jared reminded Jensen, as he handed off the bottle they were sharing.
“I know and I’m really proud of you for listening to that lesson in school. But trust me. You’re gonna have fun.”
Jared shrugged and inhaled the way Jensen taught him to. Always being right was getting to be a regular thing for Jensen and an hour later, both Jared and Jensen were very drunk, a little high, and having a whole lot of fun. Too much, maybe.
“You gotta be quieter, Sasquatch,” Jensen lectured for the thousandth time. Jensen had the infuriating ability to function perfectly regardless of the volume of compromising substances he had consumed. He said that was because he had spent a long time building up a resistance, which made perfect sense to Jared, who still sucked at the being drunk thing, let alone this. Jared wanted to listen, knew in his head that there was nothing to laugh so much about. But something about the spot on the wall behind them was the funniest damn thing he had ever seen in his life.
“Please, please, Jay, quiet down. If someone calls the cops…that would be really not good.”
“I know, but Jen, look at it.”
Jensen smiled fondly for half a second before they heard sirens. Jensen froze and Jared was so terrified that he couldn’t think of anything to do but laugh harder.
“Someone actually called the cops!”
“I hear that, will you please shut up?”
It was too late. An officer came around the corner and informed Jared and Jensen that they were both under arrest for disturbing the peace and, from the look of it, a whole lot more than that. Jared had never seen Jensen afraid until he saw the panic on his friend’s face as the officer approached. Seeing Jensen like that terrified him more than the fact that he was being shoved into a police car.
“Jen, I’m sorry.”
Jared had gotten pretty sober pretty fast. Jensen wouldn’t even look at him and Jared felt guiltier than he could ever remember feeling.
“Are you going to say anything at all?”
“You don’t want me to say anything to you right now.”
“You can tell me that you hate me. I would be okay with that.”
“I don’t…it wasn’t just your fault. I should have been smarter about this.”
“It’s not so bad, though, a noise complaint, a little bit of illegal substances. They might hold us over night, but-“
“They might hold you overnight. You’ve got a clean record. I…don’t.”
Jared felt like an idiot that it hadn’t occurred to him earlier, cursed himself inwardly for getting Jensen in trouble. He hated the idea of getting out first-he didn’t know what to do without Jensen. He didn’t really want to anymore.
They were separated as soon as they arrived at the station. Jensen was taken in first and Jared followed soon after. Jared tried to see where they took Jensen, but he was being walked in too quickly and Jared was stopped at the desk as soon as he walked in.
“Thanks, Lloyd, I’ll take this one from here,” the woman at the desk said, sounding bored.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, go do your job.”
The officer that had arrested Jared and Jensen smiled at her and left the station. A manic grin warped the woman’s lips as soon as he had walked out the door.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jensen hissed through the bars. “Shouldn’t you be in holding or something?”
“Uhh, actually, I made a friend with the lady who works out front. She let me go.”
“What? How?”
“Yeah, I flirted a little and she just asked me to sign a totally blank sheet of paper for her and that’s it! She turned her head while I walked out of the station!”
“But you’re still here.”
“Yeah! I snuck back in.” Jared produced a little golden key from his pocket and began to fiddle with the lock on Jensen’s cell. “And now I’m breaking you out!”
“You can’t break me out of prison!” Jensen’s angry whisper kind of made Jared want to laugh. He was having way more fun than he should have been.
“Yeah, look, they just leave the keys sitting around. I destroyed the evidence, too.”
By now, Jared was helping Jensen out of his cell and smiling stupidly.
“How high are you?”
“Preeeetttyyy high,” Jared replied playfully. Jensen did not appear to be amused.
“Do you have any idea how illegal this is? What the hell were you thinking?”
“I had to, Jen.”
“What do you mean you ‘had to’? Of course you didn’t ‘have to.’ You could get us both locked up for years.”
“You were already going to be locked up for years.”
Jensen swallowed. “You read my file?”
Jared nodded. “On the computer before I accidentally deleted the entry for tonight.”
“You had no right to do that.”
“I’m sorry? It’s not that big a deal.”
“Yeah, it’s a big fucking deal.” Jensen winced. “You can’t just go around reading people’s…I know how it looked to you, Jared. But I had to. Those things…I had to.”
Jared tried to purge the picture from his mind: a much younger Jensen, skinnier, dirtier, looking lost and weak and nothing like his Jensen. He’d already done everything he could to forget the things Jensen wanted to hide from him, things that had been done to Jensen which he had been punished for, but he couldn’t make it stop hurting-and if it hurt him, he figured it had to be killing Jensen. Jared did his best not to feel insulted that Jensen believed he would hold those things against him, as well.
“I didn’t understand half of it, and the rest of it…I know you had a rough time, Jen.”
It was a lie. He’d understood every word in Jensen’s file, but Jensen seemed to believe him-after all, it wasn’t a stretch to believe that Jared’s sheltered existence had not included the kinds of things Jensen had been forced to put up with. Jensen murmured Jared’s name and pulled him so close that Jared could taste his breath. Then he froze and pulled away and reminded Jared that they needed to get the hell out of dodge as quick as they could. Jared felt robbed.
They left the city the same way they’d entered, decided to sleep a little and sober up before they attempted to find Chris’s place. They found an open field and lay down in the grass (it wasn’t the dirtiest place they’d ended up sleeping in by a long shot). Facing the stars, they laughed and talked shit until Jared’s yawns and the left over effect of alcohol began to lull him out of the conversation.
“Jay, why don’t you go to sleep? You had an awfully big night. Lots of firsts. You deserve to relax.”
Jensen was sitting up on one side, turned to face Jared, and his hand was resting on Jared’s chest, right over his heart. All Jared could think about was how close Jensen had gotten to him earlier and how much he’d regretted it when Jensen had pulled away.
“You know,” Jared said, through a yawn and without really knowing what the hell he was going to say next, “I think if you were a chick, I would be in love with you.”
“That’s either the best or the worst thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Jensen said playfully. Jared thought it sounded sad, too, but he was asleep before he could really be sure about it.
Part Two