Real Person Fic - J2: Cue the Sun [Part 2/2]
Title: Cue the Sun [Part 2/2]
Fandom: Real Person Fic - J2
Word Count: 8,441 [16,316 total]
Part One
“Jensen fucking Ackles, are you shitting me? I thought I’d never see your pretty, pretty face again.”
Jensen laughed and let Chris pull him into a bear hug before giving Jared a long, somewhat-prodding look over.
“Hi, I’m Jared.” Jared held his hand out to Chris and Chris shrugged and accepted it.
“Yeah, I bet you are.”
Jared was relieved to see that Jensen seemed about as confused by the greeting as he was, but after a few awkward moments, Chris invited them in and gave them a brief tour. Chris’s house, it turned out, was basically an all day party. There were at least thirty people there at any given time: people playing instruments, people watching TV and yelling at the screen, people eating Chris’s food and drinking Chris’s beer. Jared and Jensen arrived at around noon and there wasn’t a moment of peace or quiet until long after midnight.
Jensen and Chris seemed to communicate in a completely different language made of inside jokes and remember whens and Jared knew that he was being clingy and ridiculous, but he couldn’t help being a little jealous. Jensen let Jared talk to the strangers at the party and, eager to avoid how left off he felt being around Jensen and Chris, the two drifted apart for most of the day. Later that night (or earlier the next morning), Jensen pulled Jared aside and indicated a petite brunette.
“Jared, this is Genevieve.”
“Hi,” Jared said warmly.
“She sure is pretty, huh?”
“Umm, yes, she’s very pretty.”
“Okay! So you just stay here and talk to her for a while and just remember you’re staying in that room,” Jensen pointed across the hallway, “in case you need it.”
Jensen winked and turned and Jared grabbed his shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to talk to Chris. I figured you would probably want to, you know. It’s been months and she’s really cute, so I’m giving you two a little privacy.”
“But I’m engaged.” Jared knew that wasn’t what he really had an issue with, but since it was the easiest thing to put into words, he went with it.
“Just talk to her, then. I’ll be back in a little bit, okay?”
Jared nodded but he couldn’t help thinking of Chad’s promise and worrying.
Genevieve turned out to be a really good time. She and Jared hung out for a while and she seemed to have no filter, talked more like a guy than most of the guys Jared knew. She was also more forward about flirting than the average lady and Jared figured that since he hadn’t thought about Sandy much since he’d last seen her and he was incredibly horny, he might as well go for it. About an hour later, Jared was kissing Genevieve on the couch and thinking about everything except for kissing Genevieve on the couch. He pulled away.
“Jen.”
“Yeah?”
“Not you, Gen. I…I’m sorry, I just want to talk to him for a second.” Jared moved to get up; Genevieve pulled him back down.
“Don’t you think they want a little time alone?”
“I can’t do this. I can’t stop thinking about-“
“Yeah, I get the picture. It’s fine. But you could have let me know before you got my hopes up.”
Jared didn’t bother asking what he’d forgotten to tell her. “Do you know where he is?”
“Down the hall. I really wouldn’t go in there right now.”
But Jared was already up and on his way to the room she’d indicated before she could say why.
Nobody noticed the door being pushed ajar; there were louder sounds from inside the room drowning it out. Nevertheless, Jared stopped as soon as he heard them. He knew the sounds; Jensen had found his own girl to keep him busy. But just as he was about to turn away and give Jensen the same courtesy Jensen had tried to give him, he heard another groan, just as masculine as the one before it, one that hadn’t belonged to Jensen. Jared couldn’t help looking.
He was torn between so many emotions he couldn’t put them together fast enough. Chris was fucking Jensen and suddenly half of the giant missing pieces in Jared’s life had been shaken out and put in place. It was gorgeous. Jensen was gorgeous. Jensen was happier than Jared had ever seen him. And Jared still hated it. All he could think was My Jensen. Every part of his brain shut down and he was so jealous he hurt.
On all fours, Jensen was smiling as if he was far away; Chris wrapped his arm around and touched Jensen, Jensen’s lips fell open on a cry. Jared was hard, without a single doubt more turned on than he’d ever been in his life. It was a wonder to him that he hadn’t figured out that this was what Jensen had been hiding from him. If he’d had any brain at all, he would have been dreaming of fucking Jensen since the first time he saw him.
He considered taking his cock out right then, matching Chris’s strokes and pretending he was the one who knew what Jensen felt like. That, he was certain, was supposed to be his, and the fabric of his jeans agreed. But he paused to consider how he would look standing in a hallway fucking his hand while he watched Chris and Jensen and, since he couldn’t tear his eyes away, he just stood there achingly hard and mesmerized.
Chris came first, but Jared hardly even registered it. His eyes were trained on Jensen. When Jensen came, Jared had to lean against the hallway wall to stay standing.
Chris immediately sat back against the headboard, and pulled a cigarette out. Jensen glanced briefly in his direction and rolled his eyes.
“You’re such a fucking cliché.”
“Was it good for you, too?” Chris took a long drag on his cigarette and exhaled in Jensen’s direction. “Now I’m a fucking cliché.”
“Literally!”
“Clever, Ackles. So what was up with the closed eyes thing when we were kissing earlier? You never did that before. Who were you pretending I was?”
Jensen shuffled out of bed to get dressed and made a point of ignoring Chris’s question.
“Oh, wow, you were! I was just kidding. That kind of hurts my feelings. Was it Brad Pitt? Angelina Jolie? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?”
“Fuck off, Kane.”
“Or is it the straight boy in the living room?”
“Seriously, shut the fuck up.” Jensen’s tone was below freezing.
“Wow. Holy shit. Jensen Ackles is in love? Smack my ass and call me Nancy-I never thought I’d see the day. Does he know how you feel?”
“He doesn’t know anything about this and he’s never going to.”
“I think you should tell him. I bet he loooooooves you, too.”
“He doesn’t and he wouldn’t understand if I told him.”
“In love AND in the closet? People sure do change. Too bad if they’re doing it for some homophobe.”
“You don’t know anything about him.”
“I have a feeling I know more about him than you do.”
Jared didn’t really care what Chris had to say about him, because no matter what Chris said, Jensen was his. Jared retreated to his room with too much to think about and an almost fatal need to jerk off. In the morning, he was going to make sure Jensen knew who he belonged to, as well.
Jared woke up the next day in the early afternoon with Jensen’s hand on his shoulder shaking him awake. Jared smiled and wrapped his own hand around Jensen’s smaller one and Jensen looked awkward, but allowed it.
“Hey, I’m sorry. We gotta get going.” Jensen looked a lot sorrier than he should have for waking Jared up after noon.
Jared stretched lazily. “Going where? We’ve been trying to get to Chris’s for weeks.”
“We’ve been trying to get you home for weeks.”
“But we don’t even know where that is.”
“Just, get ready to leave, okay? I wanna get out of here soon.”
Jared shrugged, rolled out of bed, and was ready to leave within ten minutes. Chris and Jensen had a much more subdued goodbye than their hello had been. Chris asked Jensen if he was sure he wanted to leave already, Jensen said nothing and Chris had solemnly nodded.
Jensen was officially being weird. He’d surprised Jared by pulling out his wallet and paying for a cab to a hotel and a decent room for a few nights. Jared had only seen Jensen pay for a few necessities in their entire time together. He was immediately suspicious, but was too excited to tell Jensen how he felt to really worry about it. Since they’d gotten to the hotel, however, Jensen had not only not given him a chance to tell him anything, he’d avoided being in the same room for more than five minutes and kept asking Jared if he wanted him to make anything or get something for him. Jensen was nice, but Jensen didn’t act nice. This was just distressing. And Jared had had enough.
“Jen, can you please sit down and talk to me for five minutes? What the hell is wrong with you today?”
“No. I can’t.”
Jared got up and grabbed Jensen’s wrist. Jensen shuddered and relaxed and Jared was thrilled by the idea that Jensen could have been responding to him like that for months without his realizing it.
“I know where your family is.”
Jared smiled wide and took Jensen’s other hand and this time, Jensen shook him off.
“Don’t look happy, okay? It’s not good news.”
“Are they okay?”
“They’re fine. It’s not them. It’s…they’re fake, Jared.”
“Huh?”
“You really don’t know, then?”
“Know what, what are you talking about?”
“Chris thought you’d been playing with me. He thought it was some stunt. I told him it wasn’t.” Jensen almost looked relieved for a moment and then went back to looking sick. “I knew you weren’t lying to me.”
“About what, Jen? Tell me about my family.”
“They’re not your real family, Jare. It’s all some kind of sick joke. Your life, up until that friend of yours snuck you out, was a joke. It was all a fucking TV show.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“That’s what I said when Chris told me but-“
“Fuck what Chris told you, he’s an asshole. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I saw an episode.”
“Why are you even saying this to me?”
“He found one airing on TNT like some Law and Order repeat. I saw Sandy and Meg and your parents, all of them just like you described…I saw it, Jay.”
“No, you’re full of it. They wouldn’t do that.”
“And I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“They would?”
“Those people? Yeah, they would. It’s what they get paid to do. They probably hate you right now because by being lost, you’re costing them a paycheck. They don’t care that you could be in trouble. They’re just actors.”
“No, they’re my family.”
“Yeah, so what? That’s what families do, Jared. They’re supposed to love you unconditionally, but they only love you when it’s convenient.”
“How could you say that? You’re the one who told me to respect them.”
“Yeah, well, I wanted them to be real. I should have known better.”
“They are real. They have to be real. Jensen, please. I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”
“Because I know how you feel. I had a family once, too. With a mother and a father and a big brother and a little sister, just like yours. And they loved me, Jay, just like yours promised you they did. They said it to me every damn day. And then I told them one little thing about me and they threw me out like they’d never seen me before. I was 16 years old, I could have been dead. And that was my real family-these are actors.”
“No. No. You’re wrong. I’m sorry about your family, but mine is different. I don’t believe you.”
“That’s a fucking shame, because I’m the only person who’s ever told you the truth.”
Jensen handed Jared a newspaper page and left the room. Jared didn’t have to read it to know Jensen was right. There had been too many things in his life that had been hard to buy into. Too many things that Jared hadn’t even realized were different since he’d left home, because aside from his little sister, he’d practically forgotten that he’d ever had a life before Jensen.
He looked down at the article Jensen had given him, saw his fiancée and his brother arm-in-arm under thick black letters that read ‘Raised in Captivity Stars Sandra McCoy and Jeffrey Dean Morgan to Tie Knot.’ It was a lot to swallow at once.
Jared spent the entire day alone in his room staring at a 600 word article until he had it memorized. Jensen was trying to give him his space, but Jared just wished he wouldn’t. He was numb, lonely, and depressed and if anyone could fix any of those things, it was going to have to be Jensen.
“Do you want something to eat?” Jensen asked softly, sticking his head into the room. It was already past six p.m. and Jared was starving, but he was prepared to starve before he was going to send Jensen away to make him dinner.
“Jen, come here.”
Jensen hesitated for a few seconds before sitting at the edge of the bed Jared was lying on and rubbing soothing circles onto his back.
“I’m sorry. I would have done anything not to be the one to tell you.”
“I’m glad it was you.”
Jared sat up and turned to look at Jensen. Up close, Jensen was nothing but freckles and eyelashes and lips that were sin personified. There was a part of Jared that forgot why he was upset, just wanted to kiss Jensen until his lips were sore. There was another part of him that saw how hurt and worried Jensen was for him and all he wanted to do was hide from Jensen for all the trouble he’d brought him.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, it was just-“
“I know, Jared. I wasn’t really expecting it to go any better.” Jensen’s fingers were absently tracing patterns onto the sheet. “It’s a pretty fucking unbelievable situation.”
“I feel like such a fucking idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. You didn’t know any better.”
“How do you miss something like that? You have to be an idiot.”
“A lot of smart people probably worked very hard to keep you believing. It’s not exactly the first thing you guess.”
Jared shrugged. “I still feel like-“
“You’re not, okay? Please stop thinking it.” Jensen reached up and moved stray hairs out of Jared’s face and Jared leaned into the touch. It was genuine and now Jared could tell the difference.
“Do you think I ever had a family, Jen? I must have, right? Someone had to care about me.”
Jensen averted his eyes awkwardly. Jared figured he was asking the wrong person about family.
“I used to have this dream when I was little. At least, I thought it was a dream. This woman used to sing to me. She loved me and I missed her when I grew out of it. I think it was my mother. My real mother. Only,” Jared paused and tried to get his voice under control, “she didn’t want me. So she must not have really-“
“She did, Jared.” Jensen actually sounded convinced and pushed Jared back down, pulled the covers over him. “Whatever made her do it, it wasn’t because of you.”
Jensen left the room after that and didn’t return until an hour later when he set dinner on the bed stand, shook Jared awake, and waited until Jared finished to take the dishes to the sink.
“It’ll be a little better tomorrow,” he promised. “Not much, but enough.”
“Please tell me you’re not going to sit in here and stare at that for the rest of your life.”
Jared looked up at Jensen, a little surprised because he’d forgotten he wasn’t alone. Impulsively, he bunched up the newspaper page and tossed it at the waste basket in the corner. He missed, but Jensen graciously forgot to mock him before picking it up and placing it in the bin.
“She wasn’t the only one pretending, you know. I used to feel so guilty.”
“What are you talkin’ about, Jared?”
“Sandy. I didn’t want her, either. I mean…I wanted her because I wanted. But I never really wanted her.” Jared had spent every moment of the last two days that hadn’t been put to use obsessing on every obvious hint since he was seven and beating himself up over still not getting it thinking about Jensen. He was sure and he needed a distraction. He met Jensen’s eyes with unveiled intent. “I didn’t know what I wanted.”
Jensen’s breath hitched.
“I saw you and Chris, ya know. I can now tell you what gay means in explicit detail.”
Jensen made a face like he was torn between being annoyed at Jared and being afraid Jared was about to punch him in the stomach.
“Oh.”
“I’m so, so sorry that your family couldn’t accept you, Jen. But you should have told me. It wasn’t fair to hide that from me. And…you should have known I wouldn’t have ever hated you for it.”
“Jared, I couldn’t. They hurt me so much. I didn’t mean to care about you, but I did. I do. I couldn’t risk it happening again. Please, understand that.”
“I’m not mad at you, Jensen.” Jared motioned Jensen to come sit next to him and Jensen reluctantly advanced.
As soon as Jensen sat down, Jared swallowed hard. He was nervous, but he was going to try if it killed him. “Tell me what it’s like.”
“What what’s like?”
“Being with a man, letting someone do what Chris was doing to you. Does it feel good?”
“Wouldn’t do it if it didn’t.”
“Tell me, Jensen. Please. Stop avoiding the question and just tell me.”
“It’s pretty fucking great, usually. It can be awkward; it can hurt or feel weird. But if you find someone you can trust to know what they’re doing…it’s the best feeling in the world.”
“And Chris knows what he’s doing?”
“Yeah, I guess. What’s it matter?”
“I don’t want him doing it to you.”
Jared put a hand gently on the back of Jensen’s neck and drew him into a kiss. It was soft and brief. Neither moved to deepen it, but Jared wanted to. It felt right like nothing in his life had ever even come close to feeling. It felt real.
“What do you want?” Jensen looked Jared right in the eye and his offer was clear. Anything.
“I want you to show me.”
“Jared, are you sure?”
“Yes. God, yes. I know you’ll do it right.”
Jensen hesitated but Jared kissed him again, this time deeper, pulling Jensen into the bed with him and licking into his mouth. Jensen returned the kiss, just as desperate for it, and let out a little whimper when Jared pulled away.
“Please, Jensen. Do it. Fuck me. Tell me what to do.”
Jensen nodded as Jared let his lips trail Jensen’s neck. He pulled his shirt off and Jared did the same. Jensen sucked in a deep breath when his eyes caught Jared’s chest and his hands were on it in a moment. Jared’s dick was already completely hard and his jeans were too tight-he got an electric thrill when he felt Jensen pushing against him and knew he was just as uncomfortable.
Jensen pulled out of Jared’s arms with some difficulty and, for a moment, Jared was terrified he was going to stop. Jensen pushed him back into the pillow with a series of reassuring kisses.
“I have to get some things,” he mumbled into Jared’s mouth. He let his finger tangle in Jared’s belt loop. “Take these off and I’ll be right back.”
Jared obeyed eagerly. Jensen paused in the doorway to stare at him for a few moments when he got back and Jared felt his blood thrumming with the excitement of actually wanting and being wanted. Jensen approached the bed with a condom in one hand and a bottle in the other. He set the bottle on the night stand and quickly disposed of his jeans.
“It’ll be easier for you if you get on all fours.”
Jared nodded and obeyed Jensen blindly, not knowing what to expect. He heard Jensen open the bottle and then Jensen’s lips were pressed against his ear.
“I’m gonna open you up, Jay. It’s gonna feel weird, but I’m gonna try not to hurt you, okay?”
“I trust you, Jensen. Do whatever you need to.”
Jared felt a wet finger push into him tentatively. Jensen was right, it was definitely weird. Not bad, but not really good, either. Just really, really weird.
“Relax, Jared. I can’t do this if you tighten up.”
With some effort, Jared released. He wanted Jensen to do it; even if he wasn’t sure he liked it yet.
After a few moments, Jensen pulled his finger out and put another one in. Jared stayed as relaxed as he could and Jensen pressed little kisses against his shoulder.
“Good, that’s good, Jay.”
Jensen began to move the fingers against each other, creating a rhythm that definitely felt a little good. And then, just as Jared turned his face to meet Jensen in a sloppy kiss, his entire body exploded with pleasure.
“What the fuck was that?”
Jensen laughed his low, throaty chuckle and Jared felt its vibrations all over. “That, young grasshopper, is why we do it.”
“Do it again, Jen. Never, ever stop doing it.”
Jensen found the spot again and it was just as incredible as the first time. Jared left out a whiny, pleading noise he was a little ashamed to be capable of.
“Jensen, more. Please. Oh God, please.”
Jensen pulled his fingers out of Jared and reached for the bottle again, Jared stopped him for a moment.
“Can you…” he turned and sat facing Jensen. “Is there a way for you to do it so that I can see you?”
“It’ll hurt, Jared. Either way, it’s gonna burn a little. But it’ll be easier like-“
“I don’t care. I need to see you doing it.”
Jensen grabbed Jared and kissed him so hard it was violent. It was savage and possessive and Jared loved every second of it.
Jensen flipped Jared on his back, moved Jared’s legs into position, and slicked himself up. He broke the kiss so that Jared could watch and then he pushed slowly in, letting Jared adjust to him before adding every inch. Jensen was big and Jared felt full, still weird, and with the slight burn Jensen promised, but more than anything he felt like whatever had been done to either of them had to be okay if it led to this.
Jensen was finally balls deep inside of Jared and was pulling out too slow to satisfy him. He’d been waiting twenty years for this, even if he hadn’t known it until a few days earlier, and there would be time for slow and steady later. Jared didn’t care if he was still aching from the newly-split-open feeling; he wanted Jensen to fuck him, to hit that spot hard over and over and he wanted to feel Jensen melt into him when he came.
Instead of telling Jensen to go faster, Jared wrapped his legs around the other man’s body and pushed into his ass with the heels of his feet demandingly. Jensen got the message immediately and adjusted to Jared’s prodding. He fucked into Jared with flawless, powerful thrusts and every time Jared moaned, Jensen smiled. Jared watched him closely-it was the same faraway look on his face that Jared had seen when he was fucking Chris, only his eyes were wide open and fixed on Jared’s.
Jared tried to memorize everything about it-the sounds the bed springs made every time Jensen shoved into him, the way Jensen’s chest heaved with his ragged breath, the salty taste of the sweat Jared licked off Jensen’s skin. His senses were being overloaded and all he wanted was more.
“You’re so fucking perfect, Jared. Mmm, so tight. So gorgeous. God, you feel so good.”
Jensen’s voice was so fucked out that Jared almost couldn’t believe it was the same person he’d spent so much time with. It made Jared yearn for Jensen’s touch. He took one of Jensen’s hands off his thighs and moved it to his cock, but Jensen just shook his head.
“I wanna come, Jensen,” Jared complained. “I want you to make me come.”
“’m gonna make you come, baby. Just hold on, I promise.”
Jared nodded, bunched his hands into the sheets to prevent himself from giving his dick the pressure he needed so badly. Jensen’s thrusts were getting desperate and Jared was sure he was close, but he trusted Jensen when he said he would take care of him.
When Jensen came, Jared’s name whispered onto his neck so that Jared just hardly heard how soft and warm it sounded, Jared nearly lost it just like that. Jensen pulled out of him and in seconds he was kissing and licking his way down Jared’s body.
“Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. If you are about to do what I think you are, fucking do it already.”
Jensen teased the head of Jared’s cock with his tongue for a few seconds before Jared’s hands were pressed into his hair, trying to grab onto something for dear life, because whatever Jensen was doing was the most debauched and gratifying thing Jared had ever felt in his life.
Jensen pinned Jared to the bed with force, made sure what Jared was feeling was all his doing, and Jensen’s mouth knew its way around a cock. He had Jared entirely in his mouth and when he moved up and down the shaft, Jared almost wanted to cry at the beauty of it. It wasn’t long before he was moaning out to warn Jensen that he was close but Jensen didn’t pull away and when Jared came, Jensen swallowed every drop like it was easy and pulled Jared’s cock back all the way down his throat one last time for good measure.
Jensen pulled away and moved back up to kiss Jared. It was lazy and delicate-the perfect contrast to everything they’d just done. Jensen rested his head on Jared’s chest, right over Jared’s heart, and Jared felt it tighten a little and then release.
“I love you,” he said, realizing how true it was as he said it. Jensen’s fingers were playing on Jared’s chest and Jared tried to focus on the way they moved, tried to figure out if it was random or if Jensen was trying to tell him something. It felt arbitrary, despite Jared’s attempts to shape it into something else, and despite how desperately he wanted to hear Jensen say the words, Jensen was silent as death.
“I love you,” he repeated, a little louder and with a lot more conviction.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen replied. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
Jared put an arm around the other man as he let out a heavy sigh-he knew Jensen was there, even if he couldn’t say it yet, and Jared was willing to wait forever to hear it.
For a week or so, Jared and Jensen lived in their own little bubble. They stayed put. They slept in a bed-the same bed, in the same room, ate at the same restaurants for several nights in a row. Jensen was a mix of perfect happiness and borderline paranoia. Staying rooted in one place really did unsettle him and, even though he seemed to like it, he had a look on his face sometimes like he was waiting for something awful to happen. When something finally did happen, Jared couldn’t help hating the unsurprised hurt in Jensen’s eyes.
Again, Jared learned about his family from the indifferent black and white on a newspaper page. There he was eating his toast and drinking his coffee and waiting for Jensen to get up when his eyes skimmed from the sports statistics on right hand side of the page to the entertainment story taking up the center. Guilt and shame hit Jared like a tidal wave. There was his baby sister, his world for the majority of his life, and she looked miserable. He read the story, wincing every time he read her name-her real name-wondering if he’d ever really known her at all. Megan Mitchell sounded more made up to Jared than Megan Padalecki and he wondered if he would ever get used to that.
“Mornin’, darlin’,” Jensen drawled sleepily, as he padded into the kitchen to pour himself his morning cup of orange juice. It felt so normal already and Jared had to wonder if it felt the same for Megan, if she was used to not seeing him anymore.
“Jensen, where did you say my family was?”
“The show films in Vancouver, why?” Jensen came up behind Jared and nuzzled into his neck.
“I want to go and see them.”
Jensen froze, let go of him.
“Why the hell would you want to see them?”
He showed Jensen the article. Megan was suing to become an emancipated teen. Jared wanted to believe he had something to do with it.
“I think she needs me.”
“Jared, she’s-“
“I know. An actress. Not really my sister. Probably doesn’t care I’m not around. But then why is she doing this now?”
“Maybe she realized she’s not getting any more paychecks out of that show and mommy and daddy aren’t splitting the money.”
“No, she doesn’t care about that. She wouldn’t be doing this without a real reason.”
“How do you know, you haven’t-“
“Stop it, Jen. You don’t get it. She’s all I ever had. I miss her…and I don’t see why it’s so impossible to believe that she misses me, too.”
“She’s all you have, huh?”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, Jensen. Come on.”
“No, no come on. These people were awful to you. All of them were, Jared. If she’d cared she would have told you a long time ago. You don’t need them to be happy. We can be happy. We can be family.”
“Of course we can, but what if she can’t? What if she’s worried about me? I have to at least let her know I’m okay.”
“All that seeing her is going to do is prove she doesn’t care. It’s gonna break your heart and I can’t watch that happen.”
“Jen-“
“Jared, you don’t have to go to them. We don’t have to go anywhere. Stay with me, right here, like we talked about. We were gonna find a home, remember? What happened to that? You promised me and I believed you. Why do you want to leave that for something that isn’t real?”
“What if it is real? Megan and I-that felt real.”
“This is real.” Jensen stepped in between Jared’s legs and kissed Jared soothingly. He pulled away and looked at Jared closely, a long pause that seemed to make the air in the kitchen heavier. “I love you, Jare. That’s fucking real.”
Jared couldn’t help smiling at the words-even if they were in the middle of a pretty serious disagreement, because Jared was going to find his sister, even if Jensen wasn’t coming with him.
“I love you, too, Jensen. So much. But I can’t just leave her in my past. I’m going to go find her. Please, come with me.”
“Naw, I’m not gonna be there when she lets you down.”
“What if she doesn’t? What if she cares about me, too?”
“Then you won’t even realize I’m missing.”
Later that day, Jared packed and left. Jensen gave him “his share” of the money they’d collected, which was really both their shares and then some. Jared had never been a math whiz, but he wasn’t an idiot, Jensen refused to take any of the money back when Jared pointed this out. And when Jared reminded Jensen that having him around would be a lot more useful than having a few extra twenties, Jensen glared at him in a way that made Jared sure he knew exactly what Jensen had been like those first few years he was on his own. Scary, amongst other things, and still so fragile Jared would have tried to reach out to him if he wasn’t sure it would make Jensen hate him more.
He regretted the decision. A part of him did, at least. He knew in his gut that it was the right one. He couldn’t really believe Jensen had let him go, but he wasn’t going to hide from his past just because it was ugly, and he needed Jensen to see that. Nevertheless, it was the single loneliest day of Jared’s life. He ached for the low, reassuring voice, the biting sarcasm and easy banter Jensen had provided every other day he’d been on the road. He didn’t really know where to go, and he didn’t feel as sure about the things he did know how to do.
“Nobody is ever going to give you a ride if you just sit on the street corner pouting, kid.”
Jared looked up. “What the hell are-?’
“You know you only made it like…ten miles in the last six hours? Pathetic.”
Jared stood up and grabbed Jensen into a tight hug.
“Fuck, I missed you.”
“Goddamn, you’re clingy.”
Jared let go of Jensen, but held on to his wrists as if he was scared the other man was about to take off running.
“You changed your mind?”
“Sure looks like it.”
“Why?”
“You’re fucking hopeless without me.”
“That’s also true. And the real reason?”
“I want it on the record that I still think this is a set up for disappointment. But you’re not going to be alone when she crushes you, Jay.”
Jared smiled wide. “She’s not going to. She’ll show you.”
“God, I thought that was just ignorance or something.”
Jared blinked. “What do you mean?”
“That fucking idiotic blind trust you have in everything. I thought it would be gone as soon as you knew a thing or two, but you know everything and there it is.”
“Just because something went wrong for me doesn’t mean it went wrong for everyone.” He looked at Jensen and wondered how the other man didn’t realize how much he’d given Jared to believe in. “There are good things, too. Good people…you think I’m a moron, don’t you?”
“No, Jared. It’s beautiful. It’s my favorite thing about you. I spent all that time trying to protect it, keep it in tact. But that’s just you. Even after everything.”
Jensen had one hand on the back of Jared’s neck and one hand resting on Jared’s face, his thumb absently stroking along Jared’s cheek. Jared wanted Jensen to kiss him but he just looked at Jared closely as if he was trying to read him. After a few seconds, Jared couldn’t really handle the intensity of his gaze.
“My God, you’re sappy. It’s like talking to a brick wall for months and suddenly all you do is spout sonnets. What did I do to deserve it?”
“Fuck off.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely when things took this turn for the worst.”
The next day was the day Jared got the Greatest Idea Ever. Okay, it was actually the Worst Idea Ever, but it was Jared’s Worst Idea Ever, and he personally thought it was awesome.
They’d made it to a gas station in the middle of nowhere, mostly on foot, but with one notable hitchhike in the back of a pickup truck. Jensen had bought a six pack of beer for the continued walk ahead of them and Jared was about to open a bottle when he paused to listen in on the conversation between the two truck drivers behind them.
“Not gonna make it to Vancouver on time at this rate.”
“I only stopped twice, Mike. You try driving ten hour shifts without a break. Maybe stop taking a nap when it’s your turn to drive.”
“Dude, fucking wake me up.”
“I don’t want you driving half-asleep! I’ve got a fucking life ahead of me.”
The two men continued to bicker and Jensen made an amused face at Jared, nodding in their direction. Jared was still fixated on the first thing this Mike guy had said.
“Jen, they’re going to Vancouver,” he half whispered.
“Yeah? So are we. Small world.” Jensen took a sip from his beer and clearly did not see Jared’s point.
“Exactly! So are we!”
“You really think the sniping old married couple is going to let us ride into another country in their moving truck, genius?”
“Well, not if we ask.” Jared raised an eyebrow at Jensen.
“You’re off your fucking rocker. I swear, I teach you a thing or two and suddenly-“
“Just admit you’re jealous that you didn’t think of it first.”
“So fucking jealous,” Jensen deadpanned.
“Oh, please can we do it? Please please please?”
Jensen snorted and finished off his beer. “I’m getting too old for this shit. Let’s go before they see us.”
“Is theirs the red one, or the blue one?”
Jensen pointed to his chest and Jared looked over at the two guys. They both had shirts on with patches advertising the red moving truck’s company on them. Jensen had little trouble getting the back of the truck open. It was full of furniture, including a pretty sweet sofa and with Jensen’s flashlight, they had a much more comfortable set-up than they could have hoped for.
“Dude, this was the best idea ever.”
Jensen nodded as he followed Jared into the truck. “Until we get arrested.” But this time, he didn’t really sound worried. About fifteen minutes later, the truck gave a lurch and Jared and Jensen were steadily making their way to the place that had once been home.
Maybe Jensen should have been worried, though. Because they messed around for a while and then they ended up talking shit and Jared had this problem when he talked to Jensen where just about everything either of them said made him throw his head back and laugh from the belly. It was usually a really nice thing about being with Jensen, but Jared’s laugh was not exactly what one would call soothing. Three hours into the ride, the truck stopped and Jensen said something about Mike being right that this guy definitely stopped way too often, so Jared was still trying to swallow his giggling when they heard two voices coming around the truck.
“Not crazy, man. I’m telling you, I could hear something up front. There’s some kind of animal or something in there.”
Jensen was surprisingly calm about the fact that they were about to be caught red-handed. He just pointed at Jared and mouthed “that’s you, big foot.”
The sunlight was literally blinding when the rolling back door went up and Jared and Jensen were greeted by two very disgruntled truck drivers.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mike asked.
Jensen smiled his most charming smile, held up what was left of the beer, and said, “Either of you guys want a drink?”
The truck drivers exchanged bemused glances and then all four of the men cracked up laughing. That was how Jared and Jensen got a free ride to Vancouver and how they made friends with Mike and Tom. The two men took turns alternating between driving and sitting in the back eating shit with Jared and Jensen. At one point, Jensen even talked them into letting him drive. It was the single weirdest and also the single most enjoyable car ride of Jared’s life-and by then, Jared had done a lot of riding in cars and trains.
It was a long ride and by the time Mike and Tom dropped them at the motel nearest to the courthouse where Megan’s trial would be the next day, it was long past dark. They were pretty exhausted from a long day on the road and Jensen’s mood went from fantastic to bitter and on-edge the moment they set foot in Vancouver.
“What’s wrong?” Jared asked as soon as he caught a glimpse of Jensen’s face as he walked in the door. Jensen had gone out to get dinner while Jared stayed in and showered. He’d tried offering to go but Jensen told him he didn’t have to in a way that Jared could tell meant Jensen wanted the time to himself.
Jensen came in and dropped the bags of food on the table, huffing a little as he took off his coat.
“Canada is fucking cold. I hate the cold.”
Jared put his arms around Jensen and tried to warm him up.
“Noted! When house hunting, Canada will be stricken from the list.”
Jensen pulled away from Jared and looked at him with wide eyes. He looked petrified, like he’d seen a ghost.
“What is it now?”
Jensen shook his head and attempted to hide how small his voice was. “Nothing. Just, you make me really happy.”
Jared smiled. He didn’t care how much Jensen didn’t trust it; he believed with everything in him and he was going to make Jensen believe if it took his entire life.
“I like making you happy, Jensen. I’m gonna make you happy forever.”
Jensen looked like he was about to say something snippy, so Jared decided to show Jensen instead of telling him. He fell to his knees and gave Jensen his first attempt at a blowjob. He must have done something right, because when Jensen came he did look happy, and he was in a much better mood for the rest of the night.
The next morning, Jared and Jensen went to court. The proceedings were closed to the public, so they waited outside in the cold until the doors swung open and people began to leave the court room. There was an instant mob of reporters attempting to discover what had happened. Through all of the shouting and camera lights, it was hard to see who was who.
Jared stared at every face in the crowd, waiting for the one that belonged to his little sister, until the reporters had gotten their stories and the clutter began to thin out. He saw her talking to a news crew and looking uncomfortable and he would have run at her right then had he been a little more confident that she would be glad to see him.
Jared knew the moment she recognized him in the crowd. Her eyes lit up and she dropped the journalists she was talking to mid-sentence, breaking into a run through the crowd, and catching Jared in a hug so tight it was nearly painful. She pulled away and then hugged him again; Jared picked her up and spun her around like he’d always done when she was still a kid.
When Jared put her down and looked over at Jensen, a little smug, Jensen looked hurt and had retreated a few steps from Jared’s side.
“You’re okay! You’re really okay. Jared, I was so worried about you. I was so worried. I wanted to kill Chad when he told me-but you’re okay.”
“I’m better than okay, Meg.”
“You know now?”
“Yeah, everything.”
“I’m so sorry, Jared, I’m so, so sorry. I’ve wanted to tell you my whole life. They wouldn’t let me. They were going to make me leave you if I told you. But I’m so glad you know. And you’re okay. You don’t hate me, right?”
“Never.” Jared took her hand. “Megan, I read about…this. What happened?”
“I’m free!” she said, trying to fake a smile. “It’s for the best, really.”
“But why?”
“They wouldn’t let me look for you. As soon as you went missing the network was falling all over itself to do damage control. They told my parents that if I didn’t go public looking for you, they would keep paying my salary. But Jared, I couldn’t. My parents wouldn’t let me look for you, so I told them I wouldn’t be their free ride anymore.”
“You did that for me?”
“I did that for both of us. I had to find you. And if they didn’t get that, I didn’t want to be around them anymore.”
She paused and looked over at Jensen quirking an eyebrow. Jared realized that he had no idea how she would react to that news, knew from Jensen’s experience how badly people could take it, and his voice shook a little when he took Jensen’s hand and pulled him back to his side.
“Megan, this is Jensen. My-“
“Jensen!”
Megan surprised both of the men by drawing Jensen into a hug on the spot. Jensen froze immediately but after a few seconds put his arms around her shoulders slowly and patted her back awkwardly. He was blown away and not really hiding it, but Jared could see something warm in his eyes, a tiny quirk on his lips showing that he was glad to have been proven wrong. When she pulled away, her entire face was one big smile. Jared looked at her dimples and had never appreciated the fact that she really did look like him so much. It had been a given before, but now it felt like a gift.
“You figured it out. Oh, Jared, I’m so happy for you. I was worried sometimes that you would never know.”
Jared had no desire to publicize the fact that he had been duped for twenty years, so when he threatened to expose the network, he was planning to accept the best settlement they would give him before pushing the case into court. He hadn’t expected the sum they had offered, but he knew how bad the networks would look and he didn’t really feel guilty about playing up his desire to involve the media. Jared got enough money to live comfortably without ever having to work a day in his life.
It was Jensen’s idea that they raise Megan and even though she was already mostly grown up and could afford to take care of herself, she loved the idea. They bought a suburban house in a part of the country so cut off from popular culture that Jared only had to hear “you look like an older version of that TV guy” once every month or so. They lived there for years, until Megan was ready to go to college and Jensen was starting to get that cagey look.
“Turn that shit off or I swear you will never get laid again.”
Jensen turned and briefly acknowledged Jared’s presence. “I can’t. I physically can’t. I have such a crush on the main character.”
“Jailbait,” Jared pointed out, smiling.
“I bet he grows up well, though.”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure he ends up being one of those child stars who gets fat and has to live with the only desperate fuck that’ll have them.”
“I think he secretly really likes that poor fuck.”
“Not even a bit.”
“You know, you’re a really bad actor when you’re trying.”
“Dude, definitely still too soon for those jokes to be funny,” Jared replied, trying to keep a straight face.
Jensen gave him a quick peck on the nose and turned the television off.
“No offense, man, but I think that’s quite possibly the worst show I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“It’s pretty awful,” Jared agreed before continuing a little more seriously, “Hey, Jen.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m bored.”
Jensen’s hand moved automatically towards Jared’s fly and Jared had a struggle deciding whether to stop him or not. Reluctantly, he stilled Jensen’s advance in favor of getting the conversation he’d been stressing over for weeks out of the way.
“No, I mean, I’m really bored. With everything.”
Jensen nodded. Jared had been pretty sure he would understand. Jensen had remained pretty content for the last two years, but he’d never been completely cured of the buzzing energy that started to emanate from him if he sat still for too long. Jared hadn’t been surprised that Jensen wasn’t completely satisfied in their new life; he just hadn’t realized when they’d been settling down that he might also want to recapture the adventure they’d shared those first few months they’d met.
“Yeah, me too,” Jensen finally admitted.
“Just making sure we’re on the same page here.”
“Meg’s going to school in a month,” Jensen pointed out. Jared smiled-that was the reason he’d chosen now to breach the subject.
“The exact same page,” he said happily, before drawing Jensen into a kiss and letting him finish what he’d tried to start earlier.
The day that Megan moved away for school, Jared bought Jensen a car-a big, comfortable SUV made for long trips. Jensen surprised him the same night with a roadmap-one of the classy ones that spread out too far for one person to hold it open at once. It was brand new and unmarked, except for one page with a bright red path from El Paso to Vancouver.
They took off the next day, just like that. They had a house to come home to, but most of the time they were on the road. Jared gave Jensen what he never had: the luxury of traveling in comfort, sleeping in hotels, eating at nice restaurants, going to stupid overpriced entertainment traps for tourists. Jensen led Jared, knew every place they went intimately and was the perfect tour guide. They saw the beautiful parts of the continent, secret places you could only learn by having been there on foot like Jensen had. Megan traveled with them when she was on vacation. Sometimes they stopped and saw friends and they met people along the way, but most of the time it was just Jared and Jensen. That was how they wanted it.
End.
Fandom: Real Person Fic - J2
Word Count: 8,441 [16,316 total]
Part One
“Jensen fucking Ackles, are you shitting me? I thought I’d never see your pretty, pretty face again.”
Jensen laughed and let Chris pull him into a bear hug before giving Jared a long, somewhat-prodding look over.
“Hi, I’m Jared.” Jared held his hand out to Chris and Chris shrugged and accepted it.
“Yeah, I bet you are.”
Jared was relieved to see that Jensen seemed about as confused by the greeting as he was, but after a few awkward moments, Chris invited them in and gave them a brief tour. Chris’s house, it turned out, was basically an all day party. There were at least thirty people there at any given time: people playing instruments, people watching TV and yelling at the screen, people eating Chris’s food and drinking Chris’s beer. Jared and Jensen arrived at around noon and there wasn’t a moment of peace or quiet until long after midnight.
Jensen and Chris seemed to communicate in a completely different language made of inside jokes and remember whens and Jared knew that he was being clingy and ridiculous, but he couldn’t help being a little jealous. Jensen let Jared talk to the strangers at the party and, eager to avoid how left off he felt being around Jensen and Chris, the two drifted apart for most of the day. Later that night (or earlier the next morning), Jensen pulled Jared aside and indicated a petite brunette.
“Jared, this is Genevieve.”
“Hi,” Jared said warmly.
“She sure is pretty, huh?”
“Umm, yes, she’s very pretty.”
“Okay! So you just stay here and talk to her for a while and just remember you’re staying in that room,” Jensen pointed across the hallway, “in case you need it.”
Jensen winked and turned and Jared grabbed his shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to talk to Chris. I figured you would probably want to, you know. It’s been months and she’s really cute, so I’m giving you two a little privacy.”
“But I’m engaged.” Jared knew that wasn’t what he really had an issue with, but since it was the easiest thing to put into words, he went with it.
“Just talk to her, then. I’ll be back in a little bit, okay?”
Jared nodded but he couldn’t help thinking of Chad’s promise and worrying.
Genevieve turned out to be a really good time. She and Jared hung out for a while and she seemed to have no filter, talked more like a guy than most of the guys Jared knew. She was also more forward about flirting than the average lady and Jared figured that since he hadn’t thought about Sandy much since he’d last seen her and he was incredibly horny, he might as well go for it. About an hour later, Jared was kissing Genevieve on the couch and thinking about everything except for kissing Genevieve on the couch. He pulled away.
“Jen.”
“Yeah?”
“Not you, Gen. I…I’m sorry, I just want to talk to him for a second.” Jared moved to get up; Genevieve pulled him back down.
“Don’t you think they want a little time alone?”
“I can’t do this. I can’t stop thinking about-“
“Yeah, I get the picture. It’s fine. But you could have let me know before you got my hopes up.”
Jared didn’t bother asking what he’d forgotten to tell her. “Do you know where he is?”
“Down the hall. I really wouldn’t go in there right now.”
But Jared was already up and on his way to the room she’d indicated before she could say why.
Nobody noticed the door being pushed ajar; there were louder sounds from inside the room drowning it out. Nevertheless, Jared stopped as soon as he heard them. He knew the sounds; Jensen had found his own girl to keep him busy. But just as he was about to turn away and give Jensen the same courtesy Jensen had tried to give him, he heard another groan, just as masculine as the one before it, one that hadn’t belonged to Jensen. Jared couldn’t help looking.
He was torn between so many emotions he couldn’t put them together fast enough. Chris was fucking Jensen and suddenly half of the giant missing pieces in Jared’s life had been shaken out and put in place. It was gorgeous. Jensen was gorgeous. Jensen was happier than Jared had ever seen him. And Jared still hated it. All he could think was My Jensen. Every part of his brain shut down and he was so jealous he hurt.
On all fours, Jensen was smiling as if he was far away; Chris wrapped his arm around and touched Jensen, Jensen’s lips fell open on a cry. Jared was hard, without a single doubt more turned on than he’d ever been in his life. It was a wonder to him that he hadn’t figured out that this was what Jensen had been hiding from him. If he’d had any brain at all, he would have been dreaming of fucking Jensen since the first time he saw him.
He considered taking his cock out right then, matching Chris’s strokes and pretending he was the one who knew what Jensen felt like. That, he was certain, was supposed to be his, and the fabric of his jeans agreed. But he paused to consider how he would look standing in a hallway fucking his hand while he watched Chris and Jensen and, since he couldn’t tear his eyes away, he just stood there achingly hard and mesmerized.
Chris came first, but Jared hardly even registered it. His eyes were trained on Jensen. When Jensen came, Jared had to lean against the hallway wall to stay standing.
Chris immediately sat back against the headboard, and pulled a cigarette out. Jensen glanced briefly in his direction and rolled his eyes.
“You’re such a fucking cliché.”
“Was it good for you, too?” Chris took a long drag on his cigarette and exhaled in Jensen’s direction. “Now I’m a fucking cliché.”
“Literally!”
“Clever, Ackles. So what was up with the closed eyes thing when we were kissing earlier? You never did that before. Who were you pretending I was?”
Jensen shuffled out of bed to get dressed and made a point of ignoring Chris’s question.
“Oh, wow, you were! I was just kidding. That kind of hurts my feelings. Was it Brad Pitt? Angelina Jolie? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie?”
“Fuck off, Kane.”
“Or is it the straight boy in the living room?”
“Seriously, shut the fuck up.” Jensen’s tone was below freezing.
“Wow. Holy shit. Jensen Ackles is in love? Smack my ass and call me Nancy-I never thought I’d see the day. Does he know how you feel?”
“He doesn’t know anything about this and he’s never going to.”
“I think you should tell him. I bet he loooooooves you, too.”
“He doesn’t and he wouldn’t understand if I told him.”
“In love AND in the closet? People sure do change. Too bad if they’re doing it for some homophobe.”
“You don’t know anything about him.”
“I have a feeling I know more about him than you do.”
Jared didn’t really care what Chris had to say about him, because no matter what Chris said, Jensen was his. Jared retreated to his room with too much to think about and an almost fatal need to jerk off. In the morning, he was going to make sure Jensen knew who he belonged to, as well.
Jared woke up the next day in the early afternoon with Jensen’s hand on his shoulder shaking him awake. Jared smiled and wrapped his own hand around Jensen’s smaller one and Jensen looked awkward, but allowed it.
“Hey, I’m sorry. We gotta get going.” Jensen looked a lot sorrier than he should have for waking Jared up after noon.
Jared stretched lazily. “Going where? We’ve been trying to get to Chris’s for weeks.”
“We’ve been trying to get you home for weeks.”
“But we don’t even know where that is.”
“Just, get ready to leave, okay? I wanna get out of here soon.”
Jared shrugged, rolled out of bed, and was ready to leave within ten minutes. Chris and Jensen had a much more subdued goodbye than their hello had been. Chris asked Jensen if he was sure he wanted to leave already, Jensen said nothing and Chris had solemnly nodded.
Jensen was officially being weird. He’d surprised Jared by pulling out his wallet and paying for a cab to a hotel and a decent room for a few nights. Jared had only seen Jensen pay for a few necessities in their entire time together. He was immediately suspicious, but was too excited to tell Jensen how he felt to really worry about it. Since they’d gotten to the hotel, however, Jensen had not only not given him a chance to tell him anything, he’d avoided being in the same room for more than five minutes and kept asking Jared if he wanted him to make anything or get something for him. Jensen was nice, but Jensen didn’t act nice. This was just distressing. And Jared had had enough.
“Jen, can you please sit down and talk to me for five minutes? What the hell is wrong with you today?”
“No. I can’t.”
Jared got up and grabbed Jensen’s wrist. Jensen shuddered and relaxed and Jared was thrilled by the idea that Jensen could have been responding to him like that for months without his realizing it.
“I know where your family is.”
Jared smiled wide and took Jensen’s other hand and this time, Jensen shook him off.
“Don’t look happy, okay? It’s not good news.”
“Are they okay?”
“They’re fine. It’s not them. It’s…they’re fake, Jared.”
“Huh?”
“You really don’t know, then?”
“Know what, what are you talking about?”
“Chris thought you’d been playing with me. He thought it was some stunt. I told him it wasn’t.” Jensen almost looked relieved for a moment and then went back to looking sick. “I knew you weren’t lying to me.”
“About what, Jen? Tell me about my family.”
“They’re not your real family, Jare. It’s all some kind of sick joke. Your life, up until that friend of yours snuck you out, was a joke. It was all a fucking TV show.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“That’s what I said when Chris told me but-“
“Fuck what Chris told you, he’s an asshole. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I saw an episode.”
“Why are you even saying this to me?”
“He found one airing on TNT like some Law and Order repeat. I saw Sandy and Meg and your parents, all of them just like you described…I saw it, Jay.”
“No, you’re full of it. They wouldn’t do that.”
“And I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“They would?”
“Those people? Yeah, they would. It’s what they get paid to do. They probably hate you right now because by being lost, you’re costing them a paycheck. They don’t care that you could be in trouble. They’re just actors.”
“No, they’re my family.”
“Yeah, so what? That’s what families do, Jared. They’re supposed to love you unconditionally, but they only love you when it’s convenient.”
“How could you say that? You’re the one who told me to respect them.”
“Yeah, well, I wanted them to be real. I should have known better.”
“They are real. They have to be real. Jensen, please. I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”
“Because I know how you feel. I had a family once, too. With a mother and a father and a big brother and a little sister, just like yours. And they loved me, Jay, just like yours promised you they did. They said it to me every damn day. And then I told them one little thing about me and they threw me out like they’d never seen me before. I was 16 years old, I could have been dead. And that was my real family-these are actors.”
“No. No. You’re wrong. I’m sorry about your family, but mine is different. I don’t believe you.”
“That’s a fucking shame, because I’m the only person who’s ever told you the truth.”
Jensen handed Jared a newspaper page and left the room. Jared didn’t have to read it to know Jensen was right. There had been too many things in his life that had been hard to buy into. Too many things that Jared hadn’t even realized were different since he’d left home, because aside from his little sister, he’d practically forgotten that he’d ever had a life before Jensen.
He looked down at the article Jensen had given him, saw his fiancée and his brother arm-in-arm under thick black letters that read ‘Raised in Captivity Stars Sandra McCoy and Jeffrey Dean Morgan to Tie Knot.’ It was a lot to swallow at once.
Jared spent the entire day alone in his room staring at a 600 word article until he had it memorized. Jensen was trying to give him his space, but Jared just wished he wouldn’t. He was numb, lonely, and depressed and if anyone could fix any of those things, it was going to have to be Jensen.
“Do you want something to eat?” Jensen asked softly, sticking his head into the room. It was already past six p.m. and Jared was starving, but he was prepared to starve before he was going to send Jensen away to make him dinner.
“Jen, come here.”
Jensen hesitated for a few seconds before sitting at the edge of the bed Jared was lying on and rubbing soothing circles onto his back.
“I’m sorry. I would have done anything not to be the one to tell you.”
“I’m glad it was you.”
Jared sat up and turned to look at Jensen. Up close, Jensen was nothing but freckles and eyelashes and lips that were sin personified. There was a part of Jared that forgot why he was upset, just wanted to kiss Jensen until his lips were sore. There was another part of him that saw how hurt and worried Jensen was for him and all he wanted to do was hide from Jensen for all the trouble he’d brought him.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, it was just-“
“I know, Jared. I wasn’t really expecting it to go any better.” Jensen’s fingers were absently tracing patterns onto the sheet. “It’s a pretty fucking unbelievable situation.”
“I feel like such a fucking idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. You didn’t know any better.”
“How do you miss something like that? You have to be an idiot.”
“A lot of smart people probably worked very hard to keep you believing. It’s not exactly the first thing you guess.”
Jared shrugged. “I still feel like-“
“You’re not, okay? Please stop thinking it.” Jensen reached up and moved stray hairs out of Jared’s face and Jared leaned into the touch. It was genuine and now Jared could tell the difference.
“Do you think I ever had a family, Jen? I must have, right? Someone had to care about me.”
Jensen averted his eyes awkwardly. Jared figured he was asking the wrong person about family.
“I used to have this dream when I was little. At least, I thought it was a dream. This woman used to sing to me. She loved me and I missed her when I grew out of it. I think it was my mother. My real mother. Only,” Jared paused and tried to get his voice under control, “she didn’t want me. So she must not have really-“
“She did, Jared.” Jensen actually sounded convinced and pushed Jared back down, pulled the covers over him. “Whatever made her do it, it wasn’t because of you.”
Jensen left the room after that and didn’t return until an hour later when he set dinner on the bed stand, shook Jared awake, and waited until Jared finished to take the dishes to the sink.
“It’ll be a little better tomorrow,” he promised. “Not much, but enough.”
“Please tell me you’re not going to sit in here and stare at that for the rest of your life.”
Jared looked up at Jensen, a little surprised because he’d forgotten he wasn’t alone. Impulsively, he bunched up the newspaper page and tossed it at the waste basket in the corner. He missed, but Jensen graciously forgot to mock him before picking it up and placing it in the bin.
“She wasn’t the only one pretending, you know. I used to feel so guilty.”
“What are you talkin’ about, Jared?”
“Sandy. I didn’t want her, either. I mean…I wanted her because I wanted. But I never really wanted her.” Jared had spent every moment of the last two days that hadn’t been put to use obsessing on every obvious hint since he was seven and beating himself up over still not getting it thinking about Jensen. He was sure and he needed a distraction. He met Jensen’s eyes with unveiled intent. “I didn’t know what I wanted.”
Jensen’s breath hitched.
“I saw you and Chris, ya know. I can now tell you what gay means in explicit detail.”
Jensen made a face like he was torn between being annoyed at Jared and being afraid Jared was about to punch him in the stomach.
“Oh.”
“I’m so, so sorry that your family couldn’t accept you, Jen. But you should have told me. It wasn’t fair to hide that from me. And…you should have known I wouldn’t have ever hated you for it.”
“Jared, I couldn’t. They hurt me so much. I didn’t mean to care about you, but I did. I do. I couldn’t risk it happening again. Please, understand that.”
“I’m not mad at you, Jensen.” Jared motioned Jensen to come sit next to him and Jensen reluctantly advanced.
As soon as Jensen sat down, Jared swallowed hard. He was nervous, but he was going to try if it killed him. “Tell me what it’s like.”
“What what’s like?”
“Being with a man, letting someone do what Chris was doing to you. Does it feel good?”
“Wouldn’t do it if it didn’t.”
“Tell me, Jensen. Please. Stop avoiding the question and just tell me.”
“It’s pretty fucking great, usually. It can be awkward; it can hurt or feel weird. But if you find someone you can trust to know what they’re doing…it’s the best feeling in the world.”
“And Chris knows what he’s doing?”
“Yeah, I guess. What’s it matter?”
“I don’t want him doing it to you.”
Jared put a hand gently on the back of Jensen’s neck and drew him into a kiss. It was soft and brief. Neither moved to deepen it, but Jared wanted to. It felt right like nothing in his life had ever even come close to feeling. It felt real.
“What do you want?” Jensen looked Jared right in the eye and his offer was clear. Anything.
“I want you to show me.”
“Jared, are you sure?”
“Yes. God, yes. I know you’ll do it right.”
Jensen hesitated but Jared kissed him again, this time deeper, pulling Jensen into the bed with him and licking into his mouth. Jensen returned the kiss, just as desperate for it, and let out a little whimper when Jared pulled away.
“Please, Jensen. Do it. Fuck me. Tell me what to do.”
Jensen nodded as Jared let his lips trail Jensen’s neck. He pulled his shirt off and Jared did the same. Jensen sucked in a deep breath when his eyes caught Jared’s chest and his hands were on it in a moment. Jared’s dick was already completely hard and his jeans were too tight-he got an electric thrill when he felt Jensen pushing against him and knew he was just as uncomfortable.
Jensen pulled out of Jared’s arms with some difficulty and, for a moment, Jared was terrified he was going to stop. Jensen pushed him back into the pillow with a series of reassuring kisses.
“I have to get some things,” he mumbled into Jared’s mouth. He let his finger tangle in Jared’s belt loop. “Take these off and I’ll be right back.”
Jared obeyed eagerly. Jensen paused in the doorway to stare at him for a few moments when he got back and Jared felt his blood thrumming with the excitement of actually wanting and being wanted. Jensen approached the bed with a condom in one hand and a bottle in the other. He set the bottle on the night stand and quickly disposed of his jeans.
“It’ll be easier for you if you get on all fours.”
Jared nodded and obeyed Jensen blindly, not knowing what to expect. He heard Jensen open the bottle and then Jensen’s lips were pressed against his ear.
“I’m gonna open you up, Jay. It’s gonna feel weird, but I’m gonna try not to hurt you, okay?”
“I trust you, Jensen. Do whatever you need to.”
Jared felt a wet finger push into him tentatively. Jensen was right, it was definitely weird. Not bad, but not really good, either. Just really, really weird.
“Relax, Jared. I can’t do this if you tighten up.”
With some effort, Jared released. He wanted Jensen to do it; even if he wasn’t sure he liked it yet.
After a few moments, Jensen pulled his finger out and put another one in. Jared stayed as relaxed as he could and Jensen pressed little kisses against his shoulder.
“Good, that’s good, Jay.”
Jensen began to move the fingers against each other, creating a rhythm that definitely felt a little good. And then, just as Jared turned his face to meet Jensen in a sloppy kiss, his entire body exploded with pleasure.
“What the fuck was that?”
Jensen laughed his low, throaty chuckle and Jared felt its vibrations all over. “That, young grasshopper, is why we do it.”
“Do it again, Jen. Never, ever stop doing it.”
Jensen found the spot again and it was just as incredible as the first time. Jared left out a whiny, pleading noise he was a little ashamed to be capable of.
“Jensen, more. Please. Oh God, please.”
Jensen pulled his fingers out of Jared and reached for the bottle again, Jared stopped him for a moment.
“Can you…” he turned and sat facing Jensen. “Is there a way for you to do it so that I can see you?”
“It’ll hurt, Jared. Either way, it’s gonna burn a little. But it’ll be easier like-“
“I don’t care. I need to see you doing it.”
Jensen grabbed Jared and kissed him so hard it was violent. It was savage and possessive and Jared loved every second of it.
Jensen flipped Jared on his back, moved Jared’s legs into position, and slicked himself up. He broke the kiss so that Jared could watch and then he pushed slowly in, letting Jared adjust to him before adding every inch. Jensen was big and Jared felt full, still weird, and with the slight burn Jensen promised, but more than anything he felt like whatever had been done to either of them had to be okay if it led to this.
Jensen was finally balls deep inside of Jared and was pulling out too slow to satisfy him. He’d been waiting twenty years for this, even if he hadn’t known it until a few days earlier, and there would be time for slow and steady later. Jared didn’t care if he was still aching from the newly-split-open feeling; he wanted Jensen to fuck him, to hit that spot hard over and over and he wanted to feel Jensen melt into him when he came.
Instead of telling Jensen to go faster, Jared wrapped his legs around the other man’s body and pushed into his ass with the heels of his feet demandingly. Jensen got the message immediately and adjusted to Jared’s prodding. He fucked into Jared with flawless, powerful thrusts and every time Jared moaned, Jensen smiled. Jared watched him closely-it was the same faraway look on his face that Jared had seen when he was fucking Chris, only his eyes were wide open and fixed on Jared’s.
Jared tried to memorize everything about it-the sounds the bed springs made every time Jensen shoved into him, the way Jensen’s chest heaved with his ragged breath, the salty taste of the sweat Jared licked off Jensen’s skin. His senses were being overloaded and all he wanted was more.
“You’re so fucking perfect, Jared. Mmm, so tight. So gorgeous. God, you feel so good.”
Jensen’s voice was so fucked out that Jared almost couldn’t believe it was the same person he’d spent so much time with. It made Jared yearn for Jensen’s touch. He took one of Jensen’s hands off his thighs and moved it to his cock, but Jensen just shook his head.
“I wanna come, Jensen,” Jared complained. “I want you to make me come.”
“’m gonna make you come, baby. Just hold on, I promise.”
Jared nodded, bunched his hands into the sheets to prevent himself from giving his dick the pressure he needed so badly. Jensen’s thrusts were getting desperate and Jared was sure he was close, but he trusted Jensen when he said he would take care of him.
When Jensen came, Jared’s name whispered onto his neck so that Jared just hardly heard how soft and warm it sounded, Jared nearly lost it just like that. Jensen pulled out of him and in seconds he was kissing and licking his way down Jared’s body.
“Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. If you are about to do what I think you are, fucking do it already.”
Jensen teased the head of Jared’s cock with his tongue for a few seconds before Jared’s hands were pressed into his hair, trying to grab onto something for dear life, because whatever Jensen was doing was the most debauched and gratifying thing Jared had ever felt in his life.
Jensen pinned Jared to the bed with force, made sure what Jared was feeling was all his doing, and Jensen’s mouth knew its way around a cock. He had Jared entirely in his mouth and when he moved up and down the shaft, Jared almost wanted to cry at the beauty of it. It wasn’t long before he was moaning out to warn Jensen that he was close but Jensen didn’t pull away and when Jared came, Jensen swallowed every drop like it was easy and pulled Jared’s cock back all the way down his throat one last time for good measure.
Jensen pulled away and moved back up to kiss Jared. It was lazy and delicate-the perfect contrast to everything they’d just done. Jensen rested his head on Jared’s chest, right over Jared’s heart, and Jared felt it tighten a little and then release.
“I love you,” he said, realizing how true it was as he said it. Jensen’s fingers were playing on Jared’s chest and Jared tried to focus on the way they moved, tried to figure out if it was random or if Jensen was trying to tell him something. It felt arbitrary, despite Jared’s attempts to shape it into something else, and despite how desperately he wanted to hear Jensen say the words, Jensen was silent as death.
“I love you,” he repeated, a little louder and with a lot more conviction.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen replied. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
Jared put an arm around the other man as he let out a heavy sigh-he knew Jensen was there, even if he couldn’t say it yet, and Jared was willing to wait forever to hear it.
For a week or so, Jared and Jensen lived in their own little bubble. They stayed put. They slept in a bed-the same bed, in the same room, ate at the same restaurants for several nights in a row. Jensen was a mix of perfect happiness and borderline paranoia. Staying rooted in one place really did unsettle him and, even though he seemed to like it, he had a look on his face sometimes like he was waiting for something awful to happen. When something finally did happen, Jared couldn’t help hating the unsurprised hurt in Jensen’s eyes.
Again, Jared learned about his family from the indifferent black and white on a newspaper page. There he was eating his toast and drinking his coffee and waiting for Jensen to get up when his eyes skimmed from the sports statistics on right hand side of the page to the entertainment story taking up the center. Guilt and shame hit Jared like a tidal wave. There was his baby sister, his world for the majority of his life, and she looked miserable. He read the story, wincing every time he read her name-her real name-wondering if he’d ever really known her at all. Megan Mitchell sounded more made up to Jared than Megan Padalecki and he wondered if he would ever get used to that.
“Mornin’, darlin’,” Jensen drawled sleepily, as he padded into the kitchen to pour himself his morning cup of orange juice. It felt so normal already and Jared had to wonder if it felt the same for Megan, if she was used to not seeing him anymore.
“Jensen, where did you say my family was?”
“The show films in Vancouver, why?” Jensen came up behind Jared and nuzzled into his neck.
“I want to go and see them.”
Jensen froze, let go of him.
“Why the hell would you want to see them?”
He showed Jensen the article. Megan was suing to become an emancipated teen. Jared wanted to believe he had something to do with it.
“I think she needs me.”
“Jared, she’s-“
“I know. An actress. Not really my sister. Probably doesn’t care I’m not around. But then why is she doing this now?”
“Maybe she realized she’s not getting any more paychecks out of that show and mommy and daddy aren’t splitting the money.”
“No, she doesn’t care about that. She wouldn’t be doing this without a real reason.”
“How do you know, you haven’t-“
“Stop it, Jen. You don’t get it. She’s all I ever had. I miss her…and I don’t see why it’s so impossible to believe that she misses me, too.”
“She’s all you have, huh?”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, Jensen. Come on.”
“No, no come on. These people were awful to you. All of them were, Jared. If she’d cared she would have told you a long time ago. You don’t need them to be happy. We can be happy. We can be family.”
“Of course we can, but what if she can’t? What if she’s worried about me? I have to at least let her know I’m okay.”
“All that seeing her is going to do is prove she doesn’t care. It’s gonna break your heart and I can’t watch that happen.”
“Jen-“
“Jared, you don’t have to go to them. We don’t have to go anywhere. Stay with me, right here, like we talked about. We were gonna find a home, remember? What happened to that? You promised me and I believed you. Why do you want to leave that for something that isn’t real?”
“What if it is real? Megan and I-that felt real.”
“This is real.” Jensen stepped in between Jared’s legs and kissed Jared soothingly. He pulled away and looked at Jared closely, a long pause that seemed to make the air in the kitchen heavier. “I love you, Jare. That’s fucking real.”
Jared couldn’t help smiling at the words-even if they were in the middle of a pretty serious disagreement, because Jared was going to find his sister, even if Jensen wasn’t coming with him.
“I love you, too, Jensen. So much. But I can’t just leave her in my past. I’m going to go find her. Please, come with me.”
“Naw, I’m not gonna be there when she lets you down.”
“What if she doesn’t? What if she cares about me, too?”
“Then you won’t even realize I’m missing.”
Later that day, Jared packed and left. Jensen gave him “his share” of the money they’d collected, which was really both their shares and then some. Jared had never been a math whiz, but he wasn’t an idiot, Jensen refused to take any of the money back when Jared pointed this out. And when Jared reminded Jensen that having him around would be a lot more useful than having a few extra twenties, Jensen glared at him in a way that made Jared sure he knew exactly what Jensen had been like those first few years he was on his own. Scary, amongst other things, and still so fragile Jared would have tried to reach out to him if he wasn’t sure it would make Jensen hate him more.
He regretted the decision. A part of him did, at least. He knew in his gut that it was the right one. He couldn’t really believe Jensen had let him go, but he wasn’t going to hide from his past just because it was ugly, and he needed Jensen to see that. Nevertheless, it was the single loneliest day of Jared’s life. He ached for the low, reassuring voice, the biting sarcasm and easy banter Jensen had provided every other day he’d been on the road. He didn’t really know where to go, and he didn’t feel as sure about the things he did know how to do.
“Nobody is ever going to give you a ride if you just sit on the street corner pouting, kid.”
Jared looked up. “What the hell are-?’
“You know you only made it like…ten miles in the last six hours? Pathetic.”
Jared stood up and grabbed Jensen into a tight hug.
“Fuck, I missed you.”
“Goddamn, you’re clingy.”
Jared let go of Jensen, but held on to his wrists as if he was scared the other man was about to take off running.
“You changed your mind?”
“Sure looks like it.”
“Why?”
“You’re fucking hopeless without me.”
“That’s also true. And the real reason?”
“I want it on the record that I still think this is a set up for disappointment. But you’re not going to be alone when she crushes you, Jay.”
Jared smiled wide. “She’s not going to. She’ll show you.”
“God, I thought that was just ignorance or something.”
Jared blinked. “What do you mean?”
“That fucking idiotic blind trust you have in everything. I thought it would be gone as soon as you knew a thing or two, but you know everything and there it is.”
“Just because something went wrong for me doesn’t mean it went wrong for everyone.” He looked at Jensen and wondered how the other man didn’t realize how much he’d given Jared to believe in. “There are good things, too. Good people…you think I’m a moron, don’t you?”
“No, Jared. It’s beautiful. It’s my favorite thing about you. I spent all that time trying to protect it, keep it in tact. But that’s just you. Even after everything.”
Jensen had one hand on the back of Jared’s neck and one hand resting on Jared’s face, his thumb absently stroking along Jared’s cheek. Jared wanted Jensen to kiss him but he just looked at Jared closely as if he was trying to read him. After a few seconds, Jared couldn’t really handle the intensity of his gaze.
“My God, you’re sappy. It’s like talking to a brick wall for months and suddenly all you do is spout sonnets. What did I do to deserve it?”
“Fuck off.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely when things took this turn for the worst.”
The next day was the day Jared got the Greatest Idea Ever. Okay, it was actually the Worst Idea Ever, but it was Jared’s Worst Idea Ever, and he personally thought it was awesome.
They’d made it to a gas station in the middle of nowhere, mostly on foot, but with one notable hitchhike in the back of a pickup truck. Jensen had bought a six pack of beer for the continued walk ahead of them and Jared was about to open a bottle when he paused to listen in on the conversation between the two truck drivers behind them.
“Not gonna make it to Vancouver on time at this rate.”
“I only stopped twice, Mike. You try driving ten hour shifts without a break. Maybe stop taking a nap when it’s your turn to drive.”
“Dude, fucking wake me up.”
“I don’t want you driving half-asleep! I’ve got a fucking life ahead of me.”
The two men continued to bicker and Jensen made an amused face at Jared, nodding in their direction. Jared was still fixated on the first thing this Mike guy had said.
“Jen, they’re going to Vancouver,” he half whispered.
“Yeah? So are we. Small world.” Jensen took a sip from his beer and clearly did not see Jared’s point.
“Exactly! So are we!”
“You really think the sniping old married couple is going to let us ride into another country in their moving truck, genius?”
“Well, not if we ask.” Jared raised an eyebrow at Jensen.
“You’re off your fucking rocker. I swear, I teach you a thing or two and suddenly-“
“Just admit you’re jealous that you didn’t think of it first.”
“So fucking jealous,” Jensen deadpanned.
“Oh, please can we do it? Please please please?”
Jensen snorted and finished off his beer. “I’m getting too old for this shit. Let’s go before they see us.”
“Is theirs the red one, or the blue one?”
Jensen pointed to his chest and Jared looked over at the two guys. They both had shirts on with patches advertising the red moving truck’s company on them. Jensen had little trouble getting the back of the truck open. It was full of furniture, including a pretty sweet sofa and with Jensen’s flashlight, they had a much more comfortable set-up than they could have hoped for.
“Dude, this was the best idea ever.”
Jensen nodded as he followed Jared into the truck. “Until we get arrested.” But this time, he didn’t really sound worried. About fifteen minutes later, the truck gave a lurch and Jared and Jensen were steadily making their way to the place that had once been home.
Maybe Jensen should have been worried, though. Because they messed around for a while and then they ended up talking shit and Jared had this problem when he talked to Jensen where just about everything either of them said made him throw his head back and laugh from the belly. It was usually a really nice thing about being with Jensen, but Jared’s laugh was not exactly what one would call soothing. Three hours into the ride, the truck stopped and Jensen said something about Mike being right that this guy definitely stopped way too often, so Jared was still trying to swallow his giggling when they heard two voices coming around the truck.
“Not crazy, man. I’m telling you, I could hear something up front. There’s some kind of animal or something in there.”
Jensen was surprisingly calm about the fact that they were about to be caught red-handed. He just pointed at Jared and mouthed “that’s you, big foot.”
The sunlight was literally blinding when the rolling back door went up and Jared and Jensen were greeted by two very disgruntled truck drivers.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mike asked.
Jensen smiled his most charming smile, held up what was left of the beer, and said, “Either of you guys want a drink?”
The truck drivers exchanged bemused glances and then all four of the men cracked up laughing. That was how Jared and Jensen got a free ride to Vancouver and how they made friends with Mike and Tom. The two men took turns alternating between driving and sitting in the back eating shit with Jared and Jensen. At one point, Jensen even talked them into letting him drive. It was the single weirdest and also the single most enjoyable car ride of Jared’s life-and by then, Jared had done a lot of riding in cars and trains.
It was a long ride and by the time Mike and Tom dropped them at the motel nearest to the courthouse where Megan’s trial would be the next day, it was long past dark. They were pretty exhausted from a long day on the road and Jensen’s mood went from fantastic to bitter and on-edge the moment they set foot in Vancouver.
“What’s wrong?” Jared asked as soon as he caught a glimpse of Jensen’s face as he walked in the door. Jensen had gone out to get dinner while Jared stayed in and showered. He’d tried offering to go but Jensen told him he didn’t have to in a way that Jared could tell meant Jensen wanted the time to himself.
Jensen came in and dropped the bags of food on the table, huffing a little as he took off his coat.
“Canada is fucking cold. I hate the cold.”
Jared put his arms around Jensen and tried to warm him up.
“Noted! When house hunting, Canada will be stricken from the list.”
Jensen pulled away from Jared and looked at him with wide eyes. He looked petrified, like he’d seen a ghost.
“What is it now?”
Jensen shook his head and attempted to hide how small his voice was. “Nothing. Just, you make me really happy.”
Jared smiled. He didn’t care how much Jensen didn’t trust it; he believed with everything in him and he was going to make Jensen believe if it took his entire life.
“I like making you happy, Jensen. I’m gonna make you happy forever.”
Jensen looked like he was about to say something snippy, so Jared decided to show Jensen instead of telling him. He fell to his knees and gave Jensen his first attempt at a blowjob. He must have done something right, because when Jensen came he did look happy, and he was in a much better mood for the rest of the night.
The next morning, Jared and Jensen went to court. The proceedings were closed to the public, so they waited outside in the cold until the doors swung open and people began to leave the court room. There was an instant mob of reporters attempting to discover what had happened. Through all of the shouting and camera lights, it was hard to see who was who.
Jared stared at every face in the crowd, waiting for the one that belonged to his little sister, until the reporters had gotten their stories and the clutter began to thin out. He saw her talking to a news crew and looking uncomfortable and he would have run at her right then had he been a little more confident that she would be glad to see him.
Jared knew the moment she recognized him in the crowd. Her eyes lit up and she dropped the journalists she was talking to mid-sentence, breaking into a run through the crowd, and catching Jared in a hug so tight it was nearly painful. She pulled away and then hugged him again; Jared picked her up and spun her around like he’d always done when she was still a kid.
When Jared put her down and looked over at Jensen, a little smug, Jensen looked hurt and had retreated a few steps from Jared’s side.
“You’re okay! You’re really okay. Jared, I was so worried about you. I was so worried. I wanted to kill Chad when he told me-but you’re okay.”
“I’m better than okay, Meg.”
“You know now?”
“Yeah, everything.”
“I’m so sorry, Jared, I’m so, so sorry. I’ve wanted to tell you my whole life. They wouldn’t let me. They were going to make me leave you if I told you. But I’m so glad you know. And you’re okay. You don’t hate me, right?”
“Never.” Jared took her hand. “Megan, I read about…this. What happened?”
“I’m free!” she said, trying to fake a smile. “It’s for the best, really.”
“But why?”
“They wouldn’t let me look for you. As soon as you went missing the network was falling all over itself to do damage control. They told my parents that if I didn’t go public looking for you, they would keep paying my salary. But Jared, I couldn’t. My parents wouldn’t let me look for you, so I told them I wouldn’t be their free ride anymore.”
“You did that for me?”
“I did that for both of us. I had to find you. And if they didn’t get that, I didn’t want to be around them anymore.”
She paused and looked over at Jensen quirking an eyebrow. Jared realized that he had no idea how she would react to that news, knew from Jensen’s experience how badly people could take it, and his voice shook a little when he took Jensen’s hand and pulled him back to his side.
“Megan, this is Jensen. My-“
“Jensen!”
Megan surprised both of the men by drawing Jensen into a hug on the spot. Jensen froze immediately but after a few seconds put his arms around her shoulders slowly and patted her back awkwardly. He was blown away and not really hiding it, but Jared could see something warm in his eyes, a tiny quirk on his lips showing that he was glad to have been proven wrong. When she pulled away, her entire face was one big smile. Jared looked at her dimples and had never appreciated the fact that she really did look like him so much. It had been a given before, but now it felt like a gift.
“You figured it out. Oh, Jared, I’m so happy for you. I was worried sometimes that you would never know.”
Jared had no desire to publicize the fact that he had been duped for twenty years, so when he threatened to expose the network, he was planning to accept the best settlement they would give him before pushing the case into court. He hadn’t expected the sum they had offered, but he knew how bad the networks would look and he didn’t really feel guilty about playing up his desire to involve the media. Jared got enough money to live comfortably without ever having to work a day in his life.
It was Jensen’s idea that they raise Megan and even though she was already mostly grown up and could afford to take care of herself, she loved the idea. They bought a suburban house in a part of the country so cut off from popular culture that Jared only had to hear “you look like an older version of that TV guy” once every month or so. They lived there for years, until Megan was ready to go to college and Jensen was starting to get that cagey look.
“Turn that shit off or I swear you will never get laid again.”
Jensen turned and briefly acknowledged Jared’s presence. “I can’t. I physically can’t. I have such a crush on the main character.”
“Jailbait,” Jared pointed out, smiling.
“I bet he grows up well, though.”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure he ends up being one of those child stars who gets fat and has to live with the only desperate fuck that’ll have them.”
“I think he secretly really likes that poor fuck.”
“Not even a bit.”
“You know, you’re a really bad actor when you’re trying.”
“Dude, definitely still too soon for those jokes to be funny,” Jared replied, trying to keep a straight face.
Jensen gave him a quick peck on the nose and turned the television off.
“No offense, man, but I think that’s quite possibly the worst show I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“It’s pretty awful,” Jared agreed before continuing a little more seriously, “Hey, Jen.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m bored.”
Jensen’s hand moved automatically towards Jared’s fly and Jared had a struggle deciding whether to stop him or not. Reluctantly, he stilled Jensen’s advance in favor of getting the conversation he’d been stressing over for weeks out of the way.
“No, I mean, I’m really bored. With everything.”
Jensen nodded. Jared had been pretty sure he would understand. Jensen had remained pretty content for the last two years, but he’d never been completely cured of the buzzing energy that started to emanate from him if he sat still for too long. Jared hadn’t been surprised that Jensen wasn’t completely satisfied in their new life; he just hadn’t realized when they’d been settling down that he might also want to recapture the adventure they’d shared those first few months they’d met.
“Yeah, me too,” Jensen finally admitted.
“Just making sure we’re on the same page here.”
“Meg’s going to school in a month,” Jensen pointed out. Jared smiled-that was the reason he’d chosen now to breach the subject.
“The exact same page,” he said happily, before drawing Jensen into a kiss and letting him finish what he’d tried to start earlier.
The day that Megan moved away for school, Jared bought Jensen a car-a big, comfortable SUV made for long trips. Jensen surprised him the same night with a roadmap-one of the classy ones that spread out too far for one person to hold it open at once. It was brand new and unmarked, except for one page with a bright red path from El Paso to Vancouver.
They took off the next day, just like that. They had a house to come home to, but most of the time they were on the road. Jared gave Jensen what he never had: the luxury of traveling in comfort, sleeping in hotels, eating at nice restaurants, going to stupid overpriced entertainment traps for tourists. Jensen led Jared, knew every place they went intimately and was the perfect tour guide. They saw the beautiful parts of the continent, secret places you could only learn by having been there on foot like Jensen had. Megan traveled with them when she was on vacation. Sometimes they stopped and saw friends and they met people along the way, but most of the time it was just Jared and Jensen. That was how they wanted it.
End.