TITLE: Once
AUTHOR:
indieficCHARACTERS: Sarah
RATING: Gen
WORD COUNT: 308
WARNINGS: MAJOR spoilers for “Adam Raised a Cain”
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Don't know who does.
TIMELINE: mostly during “Adam Raised a Cain”
***
She only says it once. Ever.
“Derek’s dead.”
Her throat clenches so tightly after she says it and for a few heartbeats she can’t breathe. Because until that very moment, it hadn’t registered on many levels. Her eyes burn and for one infinite instant, she’s afraid she really might break.
Derek Reese is dead.
She stands there, so aware of former FBI agent James Ellison watching her. What does he think? She has no idea. But she knows that he doesn’t understand. That he can’t ever understand what those words mean. And it’s somehow all the more fitting. Because her life has never been about full disclosure - to anyone - and it makes a perverse sort of sense that the only person to whom she will ever utter that phrase has no idea what it really means.
Keep moving.
She forges on.
She tells Ellison about Charley. She makes her case. She changes the subject.
And that’s it. She will die without ever having said those words again. John is the only other person who would care. The machine is the only other thing that needs to know. And they were both there. They both heard the shot. They both witnessed Derek sprawled out on the floor of Catherine Weaver’s home. So nothing more needs to be said. Nothing more will be said.
Derek Reese will be another John Doe. His body will go unclaimed. He will be buried in the grass. A soldier cut down in the line of duty.
She hated Derek’s guts that day. She unequivocally distrusted him.
But she will mourn him. Even if she never speaks the words.
[end]