True Happiness [ 1 / 1 ]
He harshly wiped away the tears and reached for the picture frame on his bedside table. His eyes watered again as he stare at the two guys in a cuddling position, smiling brightly at each other. It has been months and Jonghyun really misses him badly.
Tears flow down from Jonghyun’s eyes as he slumped down and hugged both of his legs on the side of his bed not caring how pitiful he looks right now. He buried his face on his palms again as his lips let out agonizing whimpers.
Jonghyun ran his hand through his hair as he sighed exasperatedly. It has been months since he did a very horrible thing that destroyed his and Key’s relationship. Big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as the memories that he and Key shared with each other flashed by his mind. All the loud, sweet laughs, all the sweet, happy gestures… he thought that… he thought that all of that are nothing but just memories. Memories that will be easy for him to forget.
Yes, he’d been a big fool. He honestly made a big fool out of himself. “I was so selfish… I just chose something for myself… without even knowing what Key would feel…” Jonghyun knew that he had hurt Key, he hurt him big time.
One by one, pieces of the puzzle clicked into place, fragments of things that Key said, that Key made him feel suddenly all made sense - his relationship with him, his plan to cover up what he feels, why he continued to punish himself and Key.
He was crying so hard he couldn’t hardly breathe, let alone speak. Months, weeks, days of guilt and pain, of grieving he had never allowed himself to do, came spilling out in one go. He remembered how Key always smile at him, when times gets tough all he does is just think of Key all will be okay, like how Key cheers him up and how he can always lean on Key whenever he was exhausted, hurt and pained. They were so happy together then… but now, lots of things changed.
And it is all his fault, he dug his own deathbed. He made a mistake by wanting more than the happiness he felt with him. He realized that happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but when you let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is, you’ll surely regret letting it go in the first place.
If only Jonghyun knew that the true happiness a person could have is being with the one and only person you truly love, he wouldn’t have had to suffer. It pains him to know how much he hurt Key. Like how its so different with Key’s little cold glares. The fact lingers that he wants to thank Key for crying and staying with him whenever he’s down and all of the things he had done for him. Jonghyun wants to tell Key all of that… if only… if only Key would listen to him.
Jonghyun realized that even when the tears that are hidden from the world flow, when he’s with Key, he’ll have strength to face it. Then they could laugh again… and be happy together.
But, it might not be that easy… when everything about them already crumpled down the ground… but he swears… he’ll make it up to Key, he just wants his happiness back… at any cost.
He’ll try to get him back even though it will cost him his own heart… his heart that is already shattered into pieces…
A/N: i'm sorry if its sort of... like 'crap'... i'm not really fitting for angsty...
Tears flow down from Jonghyun’s eyes as he slumped down and hugged both of his legs on the side of his bed not caring how pitiful he looks right now. He buried his face on his palms again as his lips let out agonizing whimpers.
Jonghyun ran his hand through his hair as he sighed exasperatedly. It has been months since he did a very horrible thing that destroyed his and Key’s relationship. Big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as the memories that he and Key shared with each other flashed by his mind. All the loud, sweet laughs, all the sweet, happy gestures… he thought that… he thought that all of that are nothing but just memories. Memories that will be easy for him to forget.
Yes, he’d been a big fool. He honestly made a big fool out of himself. “I was so selfish… I just chose something for myself… without even knowing what Key would feel…” Jonghyun knew that he had hurt Key, he hurt him big time.
One by one, pieces of the puzzle clicked into place, fragments of things that Key said, that Key made him feel suddenly all made sense - his relationship with him, his plan to cover up what he feels, why he continued to punish himself and Key.
He was crying so hard he couldn’t hardly breathe, let alone speak. Months, weeks, days of guilt and pain, of grieving he had never allowed himself to do, came spilling out in one go. He remembered how Key always smile at him, when times gets tough all he does is just think of Key all will be okay, like how Key cheers him up and how he can always lean on Key whenever he was exhausted, hurt and pained. They were so happy together then… but now, lots of things changed.
And it is all his fault, he dug his own deathbed. He made a mistake by wanting more than the happiness he felt with him. He realized that happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but when you let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is, you’ll surely regret letting it go in the first place.
If only Jonghyun knew that the true happiness a person could have is being with the one and only person you truly love, he wouldn’t have had to suffer. It pains him to know how much he hurt Key. Like how its so different with Key’s little cold glares. The fact lingers that he wants to thank Key for crying and staying with him whenever he’s down and all of the things he had done for him. Jonghyun wants to tell Key all of that… if only… if only Key would listen to him.
Jonghyun realized that even when the tears that are hidden from the world flow, when he’s with Key, he’ll have strength to face it. Then they could laugh again… and be happy together.
But, it might not be that easy… when everything about them already crumpled down the ground… but he swears… he’ll make it up to Key, he just wants his happiness back… at any cost.
He’ll try to get him back even though it will cost him his own heart… his heart that is already shattered into pieces…
A/N: i'm sorry if its sort of... like 'crap'... i'm not really fitting for angsty...