Fic: Blue, NOT Fluffy, Unicorns NOT Dancing On Rainbows 1/2
Title: Blue, NOT Fluffy, Unicorns NOT Dancing On Rainbows
Pairings/Characters: Dean/Cas, Sam, Gabriel, Bobby
Genre: Crack, Slash, Fluff, Humor, CRACK???
Rating: Pg-13
Word count: 13,557
Spoilers: Up to Season 5
Warnings: CRACK, sugar overload, WAAAY TOO CUTESY
Summary: Sam and Dean, after a nasty run in with a chaos goddess, are turned into ponies. But not just any ponies. My Little Ponies
AN: Random plot bunny that ate my brain and soul. I have no idea where it came from, but it's gwendolynd's fault that it was finished. Without her I would have abandoned it long ago. Thank you to applepie_x0 for helping me sort out plot issues! And HUGE thank you to sorrydreaming for both betaing, and suggesting some AWESOME crackiness to add. Kisses everyone!
Although they never ever talked about it again, when Sam thought about the whole nightmare experience, he was sure it was pretty much all Dean’s fault. Mostly because he had been the first to get caught.
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit!” Sam swore heavily even as he dropped the axe in his hands and started charging across the field, eyes wide with panic and arms outstretched. “Dean!” he screamed.
Dean shot a frantic look over his shoulder as it hit him that the old lady that they had been chasing after across a field, grabbing and laughing darkly, was probably a bad sign. He started pulling back, trying to tug loose from the iron grip on his shoulder, but the woman wouldn’t let go. As Sam ran forward, he watched in disbelief as she started growing, shifting from a wrinkled old grandmother figure into something impossibly tall and thin, ethereal. Horror shot through both brothers as she grew to the size of a house, then even bigger, towering over the field, shifting her grip on Dean as she grew until she was holding him like a doll.
“Dean!” Sam shouted again, running full tilt at the woman’s ankles. Instead, without pausing to think about it, he threw himself upward with all of his gathered momentum, grabbing a fistful of her long purple robes, and started laboriously dragging himself up her clothing, adrenaline surging through his body.
“Sam!” Dean called back, trying to warn Sam away, but his shout notified the woman to Sam’s presence. She curled her lip, and reached down, ready to flick Sam off of her like a bug. Sam saw it coming, but could do nothing, trapped and helpless hanging from her clothes. He could only brace himself for impact.
The hit never came. Instead, the woman suddenly let out a loud shriek, inhuman in its intensity and pitch, and smacked at something on her shoulder. Sam couldn’t see what had distracted her, but Dean’s cry of “Cas, what the hell are you doing?” gave him some idea. Resolving to thank the angel when this was all over, he redoubled his efforts, ignoring his shaking limbs as he continued to try and drag himself up the flowing fabric by his arms alone.
“Sam!” Dean called out when he finally looked away from whatever Cas was doing to check on his brother. “Get down! You’re not going to make it without falling off, dumbass!”
“Shut. Up.” Sam panted, ignoring him and continuing to climb. He reached up to grab another fold of fabric, and then swore when his hand slipped. He was left hanging from the flapping fabric by one hand, his strength waning. Sweat dripping down his brow, he gritted his teeth and swung his arm up, trying to get another handhold.
At that exact moment, the woman made a sudden movement, jerking back, which caused her robes to ripple violently. Sam shouted as he was shook about, before he lost his grip and found himself suddenly hurtling through the open air. He could hear Dean screaming his name, but all he could see was the sky dark with sudden thunderclouds and streaked with lightning, and the ground rushing up to meet him. He closed his eyes, praying that the end was quick.
His breath left him in a whoosh as he landed. Whatever he had hit was softer than ground, so he was miraculously alive, although groaning with pain and slightly stunned. He didn’t have much time to get his breath back though, because almost as soon as he had landed, the ground started shifting, closing in on him. He struggled up, trying to run away, only to find that he had landed in the woman’s palm, and she was now tightening her grip on him. He tried to scramble out of her hand before she could grab him, but she was surprisingly quick for someone the size of Godzilla, and she caught him with her other hand. Suddenly he was getting up close and personal with Dean, squished against him in her other hand.
“Great, now what?” Dean bitched, but Sam didn’t have the air to respond. Instead he turned his attention to the woman’s shoulders, where Cas was zapping from one side to the other, slashing at her face with his angel blade before zapping away before she could grab him. Sam wasn’t sure how long he could keep it up, though. Cas didn’t have that much mojo left, and he was already visibly worn out. It was only a matter of time before the woman caught him.
Almost as soon as Sam thought that, the woman started shaking her shoulders, making Cas stumble. That was all the distraction she needed. Before Dean or Sam could even shout out a warning, she reached up and grabbed Cas roughly with her free hand.
“Cas, no!” Dean roared, furious, before he started to struggle in earnest. Sam yelped as he got an elbow to the ribs.
“Jesus, Dean! Careful!”
“Shut up and help me get loose!”
But before they could make any headway, the woman started laughing. It wasn’t a pretty laugh. It sounded like the laugh of a crazy woman, and it made the hairs on the back of Sam’s neck rise. She grinned down at them with wild eyes, as they stared up at her, helpless. Dean kept shooting worried glances over at Cas, who she was holding so tightly in her other hand that Sam could hear his bones creaking.
“Let us go, you sick, twisted, bi - ” Dean started to swear at her, but he was cut off when she gave them a firm shake. Sam’s teeth rattled and his head was jerked around from the force of her shake. When she finally stopped moving them, it took a moment for his vision to clear before he could focus enough to glare at Dean.
“How about not insulting the giant woman holding us thirty feet above the ground who can squish us like little bugs if we piss her off, hmm?” he snarked at Dean.
Dean just rolled his eyes. “You have a better plan?” Sam didn’t.
When they looked back up, they saw to their confusion that the woman’s expression had shifted from crazed humour to something else, and she was now eyeing them critically. She kept flicking between them and Cas, her brow furrowing as if she was deep in thought, before she huffed and shook her head.
“What the fuck?” Dean whispered to Sam.
“I have no idea,” Sam admitted.
Suddenly, the woman’s face brightened in an epiphany, and she grinned down at them.
“Oh, that can’t be good,” Dean muttered.
That was all the warning they got before the woman was lifting them higher, bringing them up to the level of her face. Sam shouted as her mouth opened, terrified that she was going to eat them, but instead she just breathed out. Sam’s hair whipped back and his eyes slid shut as her breath blew over them like a hurricane, smelling of blood and death and earth and smoke. He couldn’t breathe, the wind too strong to draw air into his lungs. He could feel something settling over him, like dust.
Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it was all over. The woman looked them over appraisingly, before smiling again. Sam shook his head, trying to figure out what had happened and what she would try to do to them next.
The last thing he was expecting was for her to carefully lower them to the ground and then let go. He and Dean stumbled a bit as they were abruptly put down. Cas was less lucky, falling down the moment he was free. Dean rushed to his side and helped him up, before tensing and turning to face the woman again, readying himself for a fight.
The woman smiled down at them with a finger to her lips, blew them a kiss, and then vanished. The three were left standing alone in the middle of an abandoned field, staring at the empty space where mere seconds ago a giant woman had been standing.
“What the fuck was that?” Dean spoke what was on everyone’s minds.
“That was the Greek Goddess of Chaos, Eris,” Cas explained as Dean helped him to his feet. “I do not know what her intent was for being in this area, or what she did to us, but I suspect it will not be pleasant.”
“But what did she do?” Sam asked, glancing down at his body to see if there was anything different. His clothes were the same, he didn’t have any extra limbs, and a quick grab check confirmed that he was still a man. As far as he could tell, aside from tossing them around and messing up their hair, Eris hadn’t really done anything.
“As I said, I do not know,” Cas said, and if he had been any more human, he probably would have rolled his eyes.
“Whatever it was, we’ll figure it out later,” Dean huffed, straightening out his jacket. “Let’s just go back to the motel, this hunt is clearly a bust.”
The other two nodded in agreement before following him out of the field back to the Impala.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam figured out pretty damn quick the next morning what she had done to them. He awoke slowly, blinking groggily out from under the covers, before yawning and stretching. Or rather, trying to stretch. Because when he reached out his arms to spread them over his head, he found himself staring down at limbs that he definitely did not recognize.
He screamed and tried to jump out of bed, but he didn’t know how to compensate for his new limbs, and he was still tangled up in the sheets. With a whump and an explosion of glitter, he fell out of bed, his legs kicking in the air.
“Mmmrg, S’mmy?” Dean groaned from the other bed, jolting awake at Sam’s scream. “S’wrong?”
Sam stared down at his body, still half hidden in the sheets, and tried to fight back panic. “Oh no, oh HELL no.”
“What?” Dean asked again, slowly waking up his mind.
“That bitch turned us into ponies!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
It took a while to get them both calmed down, out of bed and untangled from the sheets, hampered even further by their lack of hands. Once they were both free, they raced towards the bathroom to get a look at themselves. They were too big to both fit now, so there was a bit of a struggle to determine who got to see themselves first. Dean won by digging his sparkly horn into Sam’s side, causing him to yelp and back off.
“Holy shit,” Dean gaped at himself in horror. “We’re not just ponies, Sam,” he said with dread, “We’re My Little Ponies.”
Dean eyed his new body, horrified. He was now bright blue, the colour of a robin’s egg, with a unicorn horn that sparkled when the light hit it. To add insult to injury, his mane and tail were rainbow coloured, and glitter puffed out in a cloud every time he flicked it around. The only consolation he had was that Sam also had rainbow hair, although he was mint green instead of blue and lacking the horn. Sam gave him a funny look.
“How do you know what My Little Ponies are?” he asked suspiciously. It was a pretty accurate description of what they looked like now, based on the toys that Jessica showed him once, down to the little pictures stamped on their butts. He couldn’t see his own, but Dean had what looked like an apple pie on both sides of his rump.
Dean’s mouth dropped open, and then he started shifting nervously from one hoof to the other, refusing to look Sam in the eye. “Isn’t it your turn to take a look?” he asked gruffly, changing the subject.
Sam let it drop, figuring he could bring it up as blackmail material once they were no longer actual living versions of the toys, and brushed past his brother to take a look at himself. The bathroom light had been harsh and dim when they had first arrived at the room, but as he stepped into the bathroom the lights began to shine brightly and cheerfully, making his mint green body shine. He gave his rainbow tail an unimpressed flick, watching the glitter scatter in the bright light, but was relieved to see that otherwise he didn’t look too girly. He didn’t have a sparkly horn like Dean, instead he had feathering around his hooves like a Clydesdale. A quick glance back at Dean confirmed that, yes, even as ponies, he was still taller. He smirked, then looked back over his body to the picture stamped into his butt. It was a stack of books and a laptop.
“Hey Sam, guess you’re really part of the nerd herd!” Dean teased, catching sight of Sam’s picture. “Geez, even as a horse, you’re still a giant geek.”
“Pony,” Sam corrected absently, eyeing his new form one last time before huffing and walking out of the bathroom.
“Whatever. You would know the difference, you giant girl.”
“Hey Dean,” Sam smirked, “You’re a unicorn now, right? Wanna see if it’s true about the moonbeams?”
“Shut up,” Dean snapped, glaring at Sam before pushing him. “We gotta get help,” he pointed out, once again changing the subject.
“Bobby?” Sam suggested.
“Who else?” Dean snapped, instantly heading towards the door. It was then that they realized that their problems had just started.
“How do we open doors?” Sam asked rhetorically, staring at the doorknob and then down at his hooves with growing despair.
Dean, however, had a bigger concern. “How the hell do I drive>?!”
They shared a horrified look.
“Okay! Okay, let’s not panic!” Sam said as Dean started to hyperventilate next to him, trying to keep them both calm even if he wanted to freak out himself. “Let’s take this a step at a time. First, let’s get outside, okay? Then we’ll worry about the car.”
Dean, slowly regulating his breathing as Sam coached, nodded, calming down slowly. Then, once he was in control again, he eyed the doorknob thoughtfully for a moment. He seemed to come to some conclusion, shrugged, and turned around. Sam yelped, barely getting out of the way in time as Dean kicked out with his back hooves, knocking the door clear off its hinges.
When the door landed halfway across the parking lot and the plaster dust and glitter had settled, Sam shot Dean an annoyed look. “Way to be subtle, Dean.” Dean just ignored him, looking smug with himself.
They peeked cautiously around the doorframe, Dean looking right and Sam looking left, trying to see if anyone was out and about, but luckily it was still pretty early in the morning, and the motel looked to be pretty deserted. Once they were sure the coast was clear, they gathered up their stuff as best they could without hands, before inching their way out of the motel room and over to the Impala, their duffels hanging from their teeth. They had to leave some stuff behind, easily replaceable things like toothbrushes and clothes, but they didn’t want to lose their weapons and books when housekeeping came by to check out the damage. As they left the motel room, the sun suddenly emerged from the completely overcast sky, and birdsong broke out, sounding vaguely like theme music or something. Sam shot Dean a suspicious look when he thought he heard humming, but Dean refused to look at him.
When they reached the Impala, they tried to duck out of sight behind it, dropping their duffels to the ground. Their attempts were a bit ridiculous considering they were both brightly coloured ponies with rainbow hair, and the sunlight seemed to be following them like a spotlight. Sam glared up at it.
“Alright, now what?” Sam kept a lookout over the hood of the Impala for anybody walking by. “Should we call Cas?”
“Cas! Shit!” Dean shouted, and if he was still human, Sam bet he would have been hitting himself right then. “He got whammied too! Do you think - ”
Dean never got to finish his question, because just then there was the sound of flapping wings behind them that wasn’t coming from the spontaneously singing birds. They both whirled, ready to greet Castiel and beg him for help, only there was no one behind them. They tilted their heads in confusion, before noticing that they could still hear wings. Very slowly, they looked up.
A winged My Little Pony was flying towards them, the bluebirds turning in the air to follow behind it like a vapour trail. Dean’s jaw dropped, and even Sam couldn’t help the hysterical giggles that were building in his chest.
Despite his new form, Cas still somehow managed to land gracefully, like being a pony didn’t faze him at all. Sam had to choke back laughter as they looked Cas over, taking in his buttercup yellow colour, his feathery wings, and picture of a cheeseburger with a halo over it on his butt. The only thing that he had over the Winchesters in terms of masculinity was that his hair was still his usual dark brown instead of rainbow. He looked cherubic.
Sam bit his lip, practically straining something in an effort not to laugh. But then he caught Dean’s eye, and it was all over. Sam had no idea how ponies normally rolled on the floor laughing, but he gave it his best shot. He could hear Dean laughing just as hard next to him, occasionally snorting. Cas watched them flatly as they laughed, the only sign of his irritation the increased flicking of his tail.
“Oh God, Cas! You’re just too cute!” Dean crowed, gasping for breath.
“I don’t see what’s funny about this, Dean. We’ve been cursed by a Goddess, and it is impeding my search for God,” Cas intoned. Seeing him trying to be his usual serious self set Dean and Sam off again, laughing even harder. Adding insult to injury, a bluebird fluttered over at that exact moment to alight gently on Castiel’s back, singing cheerfully. The brothers laughed even harder. Cas flicked the bird away with an irritated sweep of his wing.
“Sorry, sorry Cas,” Dean gasped a few moments later. He was still grinning widely, but he had managed to get himself under control just enough to get back to his feet...hooves. Whatever. Sam was still lying on the ground, giggles bursting out at random intervals.
“If you and your brother are finished with your foolishness, we must find Eris and reverse her curse,” Cas told them.
“Any idea on how to do that?” Sam asked from the ground, finally calming down.
Cas remained silent, his face falling.
“Hey, hey,” Dean leaned in close to Cas’ side. Normally he would have thrown a friendly arm over Cas’ shoulder at this point and pull him close, but he had to settle for bringing their bodies flush against each other and bumping Cas gently with his hip. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”
It might have been a trick of the magical sunlight, but Sam could have sworn that a faint blush appeared on Cas’ cheek. He scrambled up to check, but by the time he was upright Dean had moved over and Cas was back to his expressionless mask. It was really disconcerting to see it on the face of a My Little Pony, especially one that was followed by a posse of bluebirds. On top of that, Sam suddenly felt this strange urge to start singing something about how when you work together nothing is impossible, but he bit his tongue until the feeling went away.
“We should probably call Bobby first,” Dean suggested, “just in case he knows a quick way to fix this that won’t involve going up against a God.”
“How? We can’t hold phones,” Sam pointed out.
Dean winced, and then shrugged. “How far is it to South Dakota from here?”
“Dean, we are not going to walk.”
“Well, what else can we do? We can’t drive!”
“I will retrieve him,” Cas offered. “As I can still fly in this form, I will be faster than if you were to travel by foot. If I warn him of your new bodies, he will be prepared to retrieve you himself.”
Sam and Dean shared a look, and then shrugged. “That’ll work,” they said in unison. Anything to undo this torture.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“How long do you think it’ll take Cas to fly all the way to Bobby’s?” Dean asked later while they were resting in the shade of a tree in the field behind the motel. They had realized quickly that they couldn’t remain out in the open for long, so they had hidden their duffels before running out to the field to find a place to rest. When they had lain down beneath the tree, it had instantly burst into bloom with apple blossoms, shedding petals and leaves delicately onto them at regular intervals. One came down to land perfectly on the tip of Sam’s nose. He snorted it off in irritation.
Sam considered it, then shrugged. “I don’t know how fast he can fly now. A few hours? A few days? Hard to tell.”
“Let’s hope it’s the former,” Dean grumbled, before his head suddenly whipped up. “Uh oh.”
“What?” Sam asked.
“That,” Dean replied, pointing with a hoof towards the far end of the field. Just coming into view was a woman and two small children, carrying all of the necessities for a picnic. Sam and Dean tensed, not wanting to be seen. They deliberated quickly and decided they had two options; make a run for it now and risk being noticed, or wait until the family was distracted and risk the family setting down too close. They paused in indecision just long enough to see the mother set down the basket and blanket not far from the edge of the field, a large enough distance that the boys felt like they could relax again.
Sam sighed as he settled back down, laying his head on Dean’s shoulder. “Man, for a curse, this really hasn’t been that bad so far, mostly just irritating.”
The second the words were out of his mouth he wanted to smack himself. Dean shot him an incredulous look. “Really, Sam?” he asked.
“Sorry!” Sam winced.
“Really? Now we’re probably going to start pooping rainbows as well as glitter. Would you also like to make a comment about it not getting any worse?”
Sam opened his mouth to say something, to apologize or to take it back, but the words never came out because at that moment he saw that the children had been let loose to play in the field, and they were now headed towards the tree, and the two ponies beneath it by default. And they were both girls. Little girls. Little girls who looked to be at exactly the right age to absolutely love ponies.
“Oh shi - Ow!” Dean yelped as Sam cut him off with a quick nip on the ear. “What was that for?”
“You can’t swear in front of little girls,” Sam told him sternly.
“I’m not! We’re running away!” Dean snapped.
“Uh huh?” Sam asked him with a raised brow, defeat slumping his shoulders. For some strange reason he felt compelled to stay and play with the girls. “When? Right when they spot us, so that they see real live ponies that run away from them? Dude, they’re already halfway here, and the second they spot us, they’re going to want to play with us. They’ll be devastated if we run away. Do you really want to make a couple of little girls cry?”
“Hey, getting my hair braided is your thing, not mine. If you’re so worried about it, you can stick around to be tortured.” Dean rose carefully to his hooves.
That was a mistake. The second he moved, he heard twin gasps of awe and amazement coming from behind him. Apparently the little girls had gotten to within visible range while he wasn’t paying attention, and they had spotted Dean. He groaned with reluctance as he saw the sheer joy that lit up on their faces.
Sam smirked. Just like that, Dean had given up. He had always been a sucker for the ladies, no matter how old. Couldn’t make them cry, no matter what.
Sam shot a quick glance over to the mother, but she was distracted by setting up the picnic, and probably wouldn’t have been able to see them clearly anyways. He thought that was a bit irresponsible of her, but he supposed he should count his blessings. Then he turned his attention back to the girls just as they reached them, laughing and shrieking with excitement.
“Ponies!” one girl said, giggling, tugging on her pigtails. “Maggie, ponies!” She pointed to them as if Maggie couldn’t see them right in front of her.
“Wow,” Maggie stared up at Dean unblinkingly, her wide grin showing off her missing front teeth. Sam had to bite back a grin; these girls were adorable.
“What’s your name, Mr. Pony?” the pigtailed girl asked Sam, still tugging on her hair shyly.
“My name is, uh...” Sam blanked, realizing that most My Little Ponies had really cutesy names that had something to do with the pictures on their butts, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything other than Reading Rainbow, which he refused to say out loud. “Sam,” he eventually answered, for lack of anything better. “What’s yours?”
“Rebecca,” She giggled. “I’m six,” she informed him like it was a very important piece of information, holding up six fingers to drive the point home. “You’re really pretty,” she told him.
“Thank you,” he said graciously, ignoring Dean who was quietly shaking with suppressed laughter.
“And I’m Maggie, I’m eight. Becca’s my little sis,” Maggie told them proudly.
“Really?” Sam gasped, humouring them. “Because this is Dean. He’s my big brother.”
That did the trick. Instantly they were staring at Dean instead of Sam, slowly inching towards his long tail and mane. “You’re pretty too,” Becca told Dean.
“Why, thank you, little lady,” Dean said, nodding his head graciously. It never failed to amaze Sam how quickly Dean could switch from a gruff, hardcore hunter, to someone who was gentle and playful. He even tossed his head lightly, flicking out his rainbow hair slightly so that his sparkly horn caught the light, shimmering proudly. The girls were completely entranced, and for some reason Sam found himself feeling a little jealous. He had to resist the urge to pout.
Becca seemed to notice his less than happy mood, because she suddenly looked over at him with a concerned expression on her round face. She walked over, reaching out to touch Sam on the nose. He had to force himself not to jump; no one had actually touched him yet since he became a pony, and he wasn’t prepared for how nice it would feel for Becca to start petting his face.
“Are you okay, Mr. Sam?” she asked, looking like she would cry if his answer was anything less than ecstatic. Sam gave her a grateful smile, and dragged himself to his hooves.
“I’m wonderful, Becca, thank you.” He nudged her with a hoof back over to her sister, following slowly behind her to Dean’s side.
“Mr. Dean, can we play with your hair?” Sam heard Maggie ask just as he walked up. He grinned, catching Dean’s eye.
“I think Mr. Dean would like that, wouldn’t you, Mr. Dean?” Sam asked, barely holding back his guffaws as Dean shot him a death glare over the girls’ heads. The girls’ eyes brightened, and their mouths dropped open into gasps of glee.
Dean swallowed whatever he had wanted to say, which probably would have been pretty inappropriate, before smiling down at the girls. “I think both of us would like that, wouldn’t we, Mr. Sam?” he gave Sam a look. Then his eyes widened as an idea hit him, making him smile evilly. “And then after, I think Mr. Sam might just be so grateful, he’ll let you guys ride him.”
Sam’s jaw dropped open, but he couldn’t kick his brother because the girls were watching. That didn’t stop him from promising himself sweet vengeance later. “Sure!” he agreed with false brightness.
It actually wasn’t that bad, Sam had to admit. Although it was slightly humiliating to sit down and let a six-year-old braid his rainbow-coloured hair, interspersing it with flowers that had somehow sprouted magically from the ground where they sat, it at least made the long hair more manageable. And considering he was already a mint green life-size My Little Pony, it’s not like his masculinity could be hurt much more. He also had the small consolation that both girls found Dean to be the prettier pony, mostly because of his sparkly horn and blue colour.
Even giving them rides wasn’t as awful as he expected. They didn’t have a saddle or any proper equipment, so Sam couldn’t move faster than a brisk walk, but Becca absolutely loved it, shrieking with happy laughter and hugging him tightly around the neck. Maggie rode behind her, making sure her little sister didn’t fall off, while Dean kept pace right behind them, ready to catch them if they slipped.
Sam walked a couple of laps around the tree, snorting in annoyance as the tree started draping its branches down to brush over their sides, before he said it was enough. The girls looked absolutely devastated that it was over, making Sam feel like he was kicking a puppy, but he was getting a bit tired and worried about how long the girls had been away from their mother. Plus they might get attached.
“Just one more go around?” Maggie begged, joining her sister in giving Sam the ultimate puppy dog eyes. Even though Sam was himself a master of the look, he found himself starting to cave at the sight.
“Here,” Dean suddenly piped up. “How about just one more lap with me? But then that’s it, okay?”
“Yeah!” both girls shouted.
It took some careful manoeuvring, but they managed to get both girls safely onto Dean’s back. Becca giggled as she sank her chubby little fingers into Dean’s mane to hang on, Maggie wrapping her arms around Becca’s waist.
“Don’t go too fast, okay, Dean?” Sam leaned in close so that only Dean could hear him. Dean looked at Sam like he was an idiot, but then Becca started to lean a little too far over his shoulder, slipping. Without even changing his expression, Dean straightened out his neck to catch her. Sam grinned sheepishly. Of course Dean knew how to be careful.
They did the final lap around the tree, Dean tried adding a bit of a prance to his step much to the girls’ enjoyment, but had to stop after only a short time because little pink clouds were forming around his feet every time he put a hoof down, ready to carry them off to Ponyland or something. As they rounded the tree, that feeling of wanting to sing started building up in his chest, and a quick glance over at Sam told him that either his little brother was feeling something similar, or he was about to poop a rainbow. Dean tried to hold it in, but before he could stop himself, it just burst out.
“Hey! It’s great when we’re together!” he sang at the top of his lungs, despite his best efforts not to, “Lots of things that need to get done!”
Sam joined in, harmonizing, and looking just as horrified. “But hey, it’s okay! When we work together, the job is much more fun!” As he sang, little field mice and birds started gathering around, watching with interest.
The girls started shrieking with joy, singing along in their high giggly voices. “No task is too hard with a helping hand! No chore is a bore with a friend at your side! Nothing is impossible so long as you believe, so get up! Take a stand, don’t run and hide!” The animals that had gathered started a dance routine, waltzing between Sam and Dean’s hooves, harmonizing and providing the background music, looking uncomfortably happy and cutesy all the while.
“We’re right here to help, there to the end! You can always rely on your very best friend!” They all finished together on the high note, the girls not quite hitting it, the animals performing tumbles and loop the loops like it was a big finishing number for a Broadway musical. They all paused, frozen in poses when the music stopped, and then the animals vanished like nothing had ever happened.
Sam breathed heavily and focused all of his attention on not meeting Dean’s eyes. Maybe if they didn’t look at each other, they could pretend that had never happened. Sam sighed in relief when a distraction came in the form of the mother calling out for her daughters from the blanket, looking for them.
“Time’s up, sweethearts,” Dean said as he carefully lowered himself to his knees so that the girls could slip off, “Mom’s looking for you.” He wasn’t looking at Sam either, but he seemed more preoccupied with the girls than whatever had just happened.
“Awww,” the girls whined, but Dean just gave them a gentle nudge with his nose. They slowly and reluctantly started back to their mother.
“Bye, Mr. Ponies!” Becca called back, waving brightly, before turning and running to catch up with her sister.
The brothers watched them leave, smiling and shaking their heads, deciding that the musical number hadn’t been that bad. Weird, yes, unbelievably so, but not that bad. “We just made their day,” Sam noted, grinning at Dean, ready with an ‘I told you so’.
“Dude, we just made their lives. They are never going to forget this.” Dean scoffed, looking incredibly pleased.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed, realizing the ‘I told you so’ wasn’t necessary.
They kept an eye on the little family as they enjoyed their picnic until they left. They couldn’t hear the girls chatting at their mother about the magical ponies the whole way out of the field, but they knew it was happening anyways.
Next
Pairings/Characters: Dean/Cas, Sam, Gabriel, Bobby
Genre: Crack, Slash, Fluff, Humor, CRACK???
Rating: Pg-13
Word count: 13,557
Spoilers: Up to Season 5
Warnings: CRACK, sugar overload, WAAAY TOO CUTESY
Summary: Sam and Dean, after a nasty run in with a chaos goddess, are turned into ponies. But not just any ponies. My Little Ponies
AN: Random plot bunny that ate my brain and soul. I have no idea where it came from, but it's gwendolynd's fault that it was finished. Without her I would have abandoned it long ago. Thank you to applepie_x0 for helping me sort out plot issues! And HUGE thank you to sorrydreaming for both betaing, and suggesting some AWESOME crackiness to add. Kisses everyone!
Although they never ever talked about it again, when Sam thought about the whole nightmare experience, he was sure it was pretty much all Dean’s fault. Mostly because he had been the first to get caught.
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit!” Sam swore heavily even as he dropped the axe in his hands and started charging across the field, eyes wide with panic and arms outstretched. “Dean!” he screamed.
Dean shot a frantic look over his shoulder as it hit him that the old lady that they had been chasing after across a field, grabbing and laughing darkly, was probably a bad sign. He started pulling back, trying to tug loose from the iron grip on his shoulder, but the woman wouldn’t let go. As Sam ran forward, he watched in disbelief as she started growing, shifting from a wrinkled old grandmother figure into something impossibly tall and thin, ethereal. Horror shot through both brothers as she grew to the size of a house, then even bigger, towering over the field, shifting her grip on Dean as she grew until she was holding him like a doll.
“Dean!” Sam shouted again, running full tilt at the woman’s ankles. Instead, without pausing to think about it, he threw himself upward with all of his gathered momentum, grabbing a fistful of her long purple robes, and started laboriously dragging himself up her clothing, adrenaline surging through his body.
“Sam!” Dean called back, trying to warn Sam away, but his shout notified the woman to Sam’s presence. She curled her lip, and reached down, ready to flick Sam off of her like a bug. Sam saw it coming, but could do nothing, trapped and helpless hanging from her clothes. He could only brace himself for impact.
The hit never came. Instead, the woman suddenly let out a loud shriek, inhuman in its intensity and pitch, and smacked at something on her shoulder. Sam couldn’t see what had distracted her, but Dean’s cry of “Cas, what the hell are you doing?” gave him some idea. Resolving to thank the angel when this was all over, he redoubled his efforts, ignoring his shaking limbs as he continued to try and drag himself up the flowing fabric by his arms alone.
“Sam!” Dean called out when he finally looked away from whatever Cas was doing to check on his brother. “Get down! You’re not going to make it without falling off, dumbass!”
“Shut. Up.” Sam panted, ignoring him and continuing to climb. He reached up to grab another fold of fabric, and then swore when his hand slipped. He was left hanging from the flapping fabric by one hand, his strength waning. Sweat dripping down his brow, he gritted his teeth and swung his arm up, trying to get another handhold.
At that exact moment, the woman made a sudden movement, jerking back, which caused her robes to ripple violently. Sam shouted as he was shook about, before he lost his grip and found himself suddenly hurtling through the open air. He could hear Dean screaming his name, but all he could see was the sky dark with sudden thunderclouds and streaked with lightning, and the ground rushing up to meet him. He closed his eyes, praying that the end was quick.
His breath left him in a whoosh as he landed. Whatever he had hit was softer than ground, so he was miraculously alive, although groaning with pain and slightly stunned. He didn’t have much time to get his breath back though, because almost as soon as he had landed, the ground started shifting, closing in on him. He struggled up, trying to run away, only to find that he had landed in the woman’s palm, and she was now tightening her grip on him. He tried to scramble out of her hand before she could grab him, but she was surprisingly quick for someone the size of Godzilla, and she caught him with her other hand. Suddenly he was getting up close and personal with Dean, squished against him in her other hand.
“Great, now what?” Dean bitched, but Sam didn’t have the air to respond. Instead he turned his attention to the woman’s shoulders, where Cas was zapping from one side to the other, slashing at her face with his angel blade before zapping away before she could grab him. Sam wasn’t sure how long he could keep it up, though. Cas didn’t have that much mojo left, and he was already visibly worn out. It was only a matter of time before the woman caught him.
Almost as soon as Sam thought that, the woman started shaking her shoulders, making Cas stumble. That was all the distraction she needed. Before Dean or Sam could even shout out a warning, she reached up and grabbed Cas roughly with her free hand.
“Cas, no!” Dean roared, furious, before he started to struggle in earnest. Sam yelped as he got an elbow to the ribs.
“Jesus, Dean! Careful!”
“Shut up and help me get loose!”
But before they could make any headway, the woman started laughing. It wasn’t a pretty laugh. It sounded like the laugh of a crazy woman, and it made the hairs on the back of Sam’s neck rise. She grinned down at them with wild eyes, as they stared up at her, helpless. Dean kept shooting worried glances over at Cas, who she was holding so tightly in her other hand that Sam could hear his bones creaking.
“Let us go, you sick, twisted, bi - ” Dean started to swear at her, but he was cut off when she gave them a firm shake. Sam’s teeth rattled and his head was jerked around from the force of her shake. When she finally stopped moving them, it took a moment for his vision to clear before he could focus enough to glare at Dean.
“How about not insulting the giant woman holding us thirty feet above the ground who can squish us like little bugs if we piss her off, hmm?” he snarked at Dean.
Dean just rolled his eyes. “You have a better plan?” Sam didn’t.
When they looked back up, they saw to their confusion that the woman’s expression had shifted from crazed humour to something else, and she was now eyeing them critically. She kept flicking between them and Cas, her brow furrowing as if she was deep in thought, before she huffed and shook her head.
“What the fuck?” Dean whispered to Sam.
“I have no idea,” Sam admitted.
Suddenly, the woman’s face brightened in an epiphany, and she grinned down at them.
“Oh, that can’t be good,” Dean muttered.
That was all the warning they got before the woman was lifting them higher, bringing them up to the level of her face. Sam shouted as her mouth opened, terrified that she was going to eat them, but instead she just breathed out. Sam’s hair whipped back and his eyes slid shut as her breath blew over them like a hurricane, smelling of blood and death and earth and smoke. He couldn’t breathe, the wind too strong to draw air into his lungs. He could feel something settling over him, like dust.
Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it was all over. The woman looked them over appraisingly, before smiling again. Sam shook his head, trying to figure out what had happened and what she would try to do to them next.
The last thing he was expecting was for her to carefully lower them to the ground and then let go. He and Dean stumbled a bit as they were abruptly put down. Cas was less lucky, falling down the moment he was free. Dean rushed to his side and helped him up, before tensing and turning to face the woman again, readying himself for a fight.
The woman smiled down at them with a finger to her lips, blew them a kiss, and then vanished. The three were left standing alone in the middle of an abandoned field, staring at the empty space where mere seconds ago a giant woman had been standing.
“What the fuck was that?” Dean spoke what was on everyone’s minds.
“That was the Greek Goddess of Chaos, Eris,” Cas explained as Dean helped him to his feet. “I do not know what her intent was for being in this area, or what she did to us, but I suspect it will not be pleasant.”
“But what did she do?” Sam asked, glancing down at his body to see if there was anything different. His clothes were the same, he didn’t have any extra limbs, and a quick grab check confirmed that he was still a man. As far as he could tell, aside from tossing them around and messing up their hair, Eris hadn’t really done anything.
“As I said, I do not know,” Cas said, and if he had been any more human, he probably would have rolled his eyes.
“Whatever it was, we’ll figure it out later,” Dean huffed, straightening out his jacket. “Let’s just go back to the motel, this hunt is clearly a bust.”
The other two nodded in agreement before following him out of the field back to the Impala.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sam figured out pretty damn quick the next morning what she had done to them. He awoke slowly, blinking groggily out from under the covers, before yawning and stretching. Or rather, trying to stretch. Because when he reached out his arms to spread them over his head, he found himself staring down at limbs that he definitely did not recognize.
He screamed and tried to jump out of bed, but he didn’t know how to compensate for his new limbs, and he was still tangled up in the sheets. With a whump and an explosion of glitter, he fell out of bed, his legs kicking in the air.
“Mmmrg, S’mmy?” Dean groaned from the other bed, jolting awake at Sam’s scream. “S’wrong?”
Sam stared down at his body, still half hidden in the sheets, and tried to fight back panic. “Oh no, oh HELL no.”
“What?” Dean asked again, slowly waking up his mind.
“That bitch turned us into ponies!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
It took a while to get them both calmed down, out of bed and untangled from the sheets, hampered even further by their lack of hands. Once they were both free, they raced towards the bathroom to get a look at themselves. They were too big to both fit now, so there was a bit of a struggle to determine who got to see themselves first. Dean won by digging his sparkly horn into Sam’s side, causing him to yelp and back off.
“Holy shit,” Dean gaped at himself in horror. “We’re not just ponies, Sam,” he said with dread, “We’re My Little Ponies.”
Dean eyed his new body, horrified. He was now bright blue, the colour of a robin’s egg, with a unicorn horn that sparkled when the light hit it. To add insult to injury, his mane and tail were rainbow coloured, and glitter puffed out in a cloud every time he flicked it around. The only consolation he had was that Sam also had rainbow hair, although he was mint green instead of blue and lacking the horn. Sam gave him a funny look.
“How do you know what My Little Ponies are?” he asked suspiciously. It was a pretty accurate description of what they looked like now, based on the toys that Jessica showed him once, down to the little pictures stamped on their butts. He couldn’t see his own, but Dean had what looked like an apple pie on both sides of his rump.
Dean’s mouth dropped open, and then he started shifting nervously from one hoof to the other, refusing to look Sam in the eye. “Isn’t it your turn to take a look?” he asked gruffly, changing the subject.
Sam let it drop, figuring he could bring it up as blackmail material once they were no longer actual living versions of the toys, and brushed past his brother to take a look at himself. The bathroom light had been harsh and dim when they had first arrived at the room, but as he stepped into the bathroom the lights began to shine brightly and cheerfully, making his mint green body shine. He gave his rainbow tail an unimpressed flick, watching the glitter scatter in the bright light, but was relieved to see that otherwise he didn’t look too girly. He didn’t have a sparkly horn like Dean, instead he had feathering around his hooves like a Clydesdale. A quick glance back at Dean confirmed that, yes, even as ponies, he was still taller. He smirked, then looked back over his body to the picture stamped into his butt. It was a stack of books and a laptop.
“Hey Sam, guess you’re really part of the nerd herd!” Dean teased, catching sight of Sam’s picture. “Geez, even as a horse, you’re still a giant geek.”
“Pony,” Sam corrected absently, eyeing his new form one last time before huffing and walking out of the bathroom.
“Whatever. You would know the difference, you giant girl.”
“Hey Dean,” Sam smirked, “You’re a unicorn now, right? Wanna see if it’s true about the moonbeams?”
“Shut up,” Dean snapped, glaring at Sam before pushing him. “We gotta get help,” he pointed out, once again changing the subject.
“Bobby?” Sam suggested.
“Who else?” Dean snapped, instantly heading towards the door. It was then that they realized that their problems had just started.
“How do we open doors?” Sam asked rhetorically, staring at the doorknob and then down at his hooves with growing despair.
Dean, however, had a bigger concern. “How the hell do I drive>?!”
They shared a horrified look.
“Okay! Okay, let’s not panic!” Sam said as Dean started to hyperventilate next to him, trying to keep them both calm even if he wanted to freak out himself. “Let’s take this a step at a time. First, let’s get outside, okay? Then we’ll worry about the car.”
Dean, slowly regulating his breathing as Sam coached, nodded, calming down slowly. Then, once he was in control again, he eyed the doorknob thoughtfully for a moment. He seemed to come to some conclusion, shrugged, and turned around. Sam yelped, barely getting out of the way in time as Dean kicked out with his back hooves, knocking the door clear off its hinges.
When the door landed halfway across the parking lot and the plaster dust and glitter had settled, Sam shot Dean an annoyed look. “Way to be subtle, Dean.” Dean just ignored him, looking smug with himself.
They peeked cautiously around the doorframe, Dean looking right and Sam looking left, trying to see if anyone was out and about, but luckily it was still pretty early in the morning, and the motel looked to be pretty deserted. Once they were sure the coast was clear, they gathered up their stuff as best they could without hands, before inching their way out of the motel room and over to the Impala, their duffels hanging from their teeth. They had to leave some stuff behind, easily replaceable things like toothbrushes and clothes, but they didn’t want to lose their weapons and books when housekeeping came by to check out the damage. As they left the motel room, the sun suddenly emerged from the completely overcast sky, and birdsong broke out, sounding vaguely like theme music or something. Sam shot Dean a suspicious look when he thought he heard humming, but Dean refused to look at him.
When they reached the Impala, they tried to duck out of sight behind it, dropping their duffels to the ground. Their attempts were a bit ridiculous considering they were both brightly coloured ponies with rainbow hair, and the sunlight seemed to be following them like a spotlight. Sam glared up at it.
“Alright, now what?” Sam kept a lookout over the hood of the Impala for anybody walking by. “Should we call Cas?”
“Cas! Shit!” Dean shouted, and if he was still human, Sam bet he would have been hitting himself right then. “He got whammied too! Do you think - ”
Dean never got to finish his question, because just then there was the sound of flapping wings behind them that wasn’t coming from the spontaneously singing birds. They both whirled, ready to greet Castiel and beg him for help, only there was no one behind them. They tilted their heads in confusion, before noticing that they could still hear wings. Very slowly, they looked up.
A winged My Little Pony was flying towards them, the bluebirds turning in the air to follow behind it like a vapour trail. Dean’s jaw dropped, and even Sam couldn’t help the hysterical giggles that were building in his chest.
Despite his new form, Cas still somehow managed to land gracefully, like being a pony didn’t faze him at all. Sam had to choke back laughter as they looked Cas over, taking in his buttercup yellow colour, his feathery wings, and picture of a cheeseburger with a halo over it on his butt. The only thing that he had over the Winchesters in terms of masculinity was that his hair was still his usual dark brown instead of rainbow. He looked cherubic.
Sam bit his lip, practically straining something in an effort not to laugh. But then he caught Dean’s eye, and it was all over. Sam had no idea how ponies normally rolled on the floor laughing, but he gave it his best shot. He could hear Dean laughing just as hard next to him, occasionally snorting. Cas watched them flatly as they laughed, the only sign of his irritation the increased flicking of his tail.
“Oh God, Cas! You’re just too cute!” Dean crowed, gasping for breath.
“I don’t see what’s funny about this, Dean. We’ve been cursed by a Goddess, and it is impeding my search for God,” Cas intoned. Seeing him trying to be his usual serious self set Dean and Sam off again, laughing even harder. Adding insult to injury, a bluebird fluttered over at that exact moment to alight gently on Castiel’s back, singing cheerfully. The brothers laughed even harder. Cas flicked the bird away with an irritated sweep of his wing.
“Sorry, sorry Cas,” Dean gasped a few moments later. He was still grinning widely, but he had managed to get himself under control just enough to get back to his feet...hooves. Whatever. Sam was still lying on the ground, giggles bursting out at random intervals.
“If you and your brother are finished with your foolishness, we must find Eris and reverse her curse,” Cas told them.
“Any idea on how to do that?” Sam asked from the ground, finally calming down.
Cas remained silent, his face falling.
“Hey, hey,” Dean leaned in close to Cas’ side. Normally he would have thrown a friendly arm over Cas’ shoulder at this point and pull him close, but he had to settle for bringing their bodies flush against each other and bumping Cas gently with his hip. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”
It might have been a trick of the magical sunlight, but Sam could have sworn that a faint blush appeared on Cas’ cheek. He scrambled up to check, but by the time he was upright Dean had moved over and Cas was back to his expressionless mask. It was really disconcerting to see it on the face of a My Little Pony, especially one that was followed by a posse of bluebirds. On top of that, Sam suddenly felt this strange urge to start singing something about how when you work together nothing is impossible, but he bit his tongue until the feeling went away.
“We should probably call Bobby first,” Dean suggested, “just in case he knows a quick way to fix this that won’t involve going up against a God.”
“How? We can’t hold phones,” Sam pointed out.
Dean winced, and then shrugged. “How far is it to South Dakota from here?”
“Dean, we are not going to walk.”
“Well, what else can we do? We can’t drive!”
“I will retrieve him,” Cas offered. “As I can still fly in this form, I will be faster than if you were to travel by foot. If I warn him of your new bodies, he will be prepared to retrieve you himself.”
Sam and Dean shared a look, and then shrugged. “That’ll work,” they said in unison. Anything to undo this torture.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“How long do you think it’ll take Cas to fly all the way to Bobby’s?” Dean asked later while they were resting in the shade of a tree in the field behind the motel. They had realized quickly that they couldn’t remain out in the open for long, so they had hidden their duffels before running out to the field to find a place to rest. When they had lain down beneath the tree, it had instantly burst into bloom with apple blossoms, shedding petals and leaves delicately onto them at regular intervals. One came down to land perfectly on the tip of Sam’s nose. He snorted it off in irritation.
Sam considered it, then shrugged. “I don’t know how fast he can fly now. A few hours? A few days? Hard to tell.”
“Let’s hope it’s the former,” Dean grumbled, before his head suddenly whipped up. “Uh oh.”
“What?” Sam asked.
“That,” Dean replied, pointing with a hoof towards the far end of the field. Just coming into view was a woman and two small children, carrying all of the necessities for a picnic. Sam and Dean tensed, not wanting to be seen. They deliberated quickly and decided they had two options; make a run for it now and risk being noticed, or wait until the family was distracted and risk the family setting down too close. They paused in indecision just long enough to see the mother set down the basket and blanket not far from the edge of the field, a large enough distance that the boys felt like they could relax again.
Sam sighed as he settled back down, laying his head on Dean’s shoulder. “Man, for a curse, this really hasn’t been that bad so far, mostly just irritating.”
The second the words were out of his mouth he wanted to smack himself. Dean shot him an incredulous look. “Really, Sam?” he asked.
“Sorry!” Sam winced.
“Really? Now we’re probably going to start pooping rainbows as well as glitter. Would you also like to make a comment about it not getting any worse?”
Sam opened his mouth to say something, to apologize or to take it back, but the words never came out because at that moment he saw that the children had been let loose to play in the field, and they were now headed towards the tree, and the two ponies beneath it by default. And they were both girls. Little girls. Little girls who looked to be at exactly the right age to absolutely love ponies.
“Oh shi - Ow!” Dean yelped as Sam cut him off with a quick nip on the ear. “What was that for?”
“You can’t swear in front of little girls,” Sam told him sternly.
“I’m not! We’re running away!” Dean snapped.
“Uh huh?” Sam asked him with a raised brow, defeat slumping his shoulders. For some strange reason he felt compelled to stay and play with the girls. “When? Right when they spot us, so that they see real live ponies that run away from them? Dude, they’re already halfway here, and the second they spot us, they’re going to want to play with us. They’ll be devastated if we run away. Do you really want to make a couple of little girls cry?”
“Hey, getting my hair braided is your thing, not mine. If you’re so worried about it, you can stick around to be tortured.” Dean rose carefully to his hooves.
That was a mistake. The second he moved, he heard twin gasps of awe and amazement coming from behind him. Apparently the little girls had gotten to within visible range while he wasn’t paying attention, and they had spotted Dean. He groaned with reluctance as he saw the sheer joy that lit up on their faces.
Sam smirked. Just like that, Dean had given up. He had always been a sucker for the ladies, no matter how old. Couldn’t make them cry, no matter what.
Sam shot a quick glance over to the mother, but she was distracted by setting up the picnic, and probably wouldn’t have been able to see them clearly anyways. He thought that was a bit irresponsible of her, but he supposed he should count his blessings. Then he turned his attention back to the girls just as they reached them, laughing and shrieking with excitement.
“Ponies!” one girl said, giggling, tugging on her pigtails. “Maggie, ponies!” She pointed to them as if Maggie couldn’t see them right in front of her.
“Wow,” Maggie stared up at Dean unblinkingly, her wide grin showing off her missing front teeth. Sam had to bite back a grin; these girls were adorable.
“What’s your name, Mr. Pony?” the pigtailed girl asked Sam, still tugging on her hair shyly.
“My name is, uh...” Sam blanked, realizing that most My Little Ponies had really cutesy names that had something to do with the pictures on their butts, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything other than Reading Rainbow, which he refused to say out loud. “Sam,” he eventually answered, for lack of anything better. “What’s yours?”
“Rebecca,” She giggled. “I’m six,” she informed him like it was a very important piece of information, holding up six fingers to drive the point home. “You’re really pretty,” she told him.
“Thank you,” he said graciously, ignoring Dean who was quietly shaking with suppressed laughter.
“And I’m Maggie, I’m eight. Becca’s my little sis,” Maggie told them proudly.
“Really?” Sam gasped, humouring them. “Because this is Dean. He’s my big brother.”
That did the trick. Instantly they were staring at Dean instead of Sam, slowly inching towards his long tail and mane. “You’re pretty too,” Becca told Dean.
“Why, thank you, little lady,” Dean said, nodding his head graciously. It never failed to amaze Sam how quickly Dean could switch from a gruff, hardcore hunter, to someone who was gentle and playful. He even tossed his head lightly, flicking out his rainbow hair slightly so that his sparkly horn caught the light, shimmering proudly. The girls were completely entranced, and for some reason Sam found himself feeling a little jealous. He had to resist the urge to pout.
Becca seemed to notice his less than happy mood, because she suddenly looked over at him with a concerned expression on her round face. She walked over, reaching out to touch Sam on the nose. He had to force himself not to jump; no one had actually touched him yet since he became a pony, and he wasn’t prepared for how nice it would feel for Becca to start petting his face.
“Are you okay, Mr. Sam?” she asked, looking like she would cry if his answer was anything less than ecstatic. Sam gave her a grateful smile, and dragged himself to his hooves.
“I’m wonderful, Becca, thank you.” He nudged her with a hoof back over to her sister, following slowly behind her to Dean’s side.
“Mr. Dean, can we play with your hair?” Sam heard Maggie ask just as he walked up. He grinned, catching Dean’s eye.
“I think Mr. Dean would like that, wouldn’t you, Mr. Dean?” Sam asked, barely holding back his guffaws as Dean shot him a death glare over the girls’ heads. The girls’ eyes brightened, and their mouths dropped open into gasps of glee.
Dean swallowed whatever he had wanted to say, which probably would have been pretty inappropriate, before smiling down at the girls. “I think both of us would like that, wouldn’t we, Mr. Sam?” he gave Sam a look. Then his eyes widened as an idea hit him, making him smile evilly. “And then after, I think Mr. Sam might just be so grateful, he’ll let you guys ride him.”
Sam’s jaw dropped open, but he couldn’t kick his brother because the girls were watching. That didn’t stop him from promising himself sweet vengeance later. “Sure!” he agreed with false brightness.
It actually wasn’t that bad, Sam had to admit. Although it was slightly humiliating to sit down and let a six-year-old braid his rainbow-coloured hair, interspersing it with flowers that had somehow sprouted magically from the ground where they sat, it at least made the long hair more manageable. And considering he was already a mint green life-size My Little Pony, it’s not like his masculinity could be hurt much more. He also had the small consolation that both girls found Dean to be the prettier pony, mostly because of his sparkly horn and blue colour.
Even giving them rides wasn’t as awful as he expected. They didn’t have a saddle or any proper equipment, so Sam couldn’t move faster than a brisk walk, but Becca absolutely loved it, shrieking with happy laughter and hugging him tightly around the neck. Maggie rode behind her, making sure her little sister didn’t fall off, while Dean kept pace right behind them, ready to catch them if they slipped.
Sam walked a couple of laps around the tree, snorting in annoyance as the tree started draping its branches down to brush over their sides, before he said it was enough. The girls looked absolutely devastated that it was over, making Sam feel like he was kicking a puppy, but he was getting a bit tired and worried about how long the girls had been away from their mother. Plus they might get attached.
“Just one more go around?” Maggie begged, joining her sister in giving Sam the ultimate puppy dog eyes. Even though Sam was himself a master of the look, he found himself starting to cave at the sight.
“Here,” Dean suddenly piped up. “How about just one more lap with me? But then that’s it, okay?”
“Yeah!” both girls shouted.
It took some careful manoeuvring, but they managed to get both girls safely onto Dean’s back. Becca giggled as she sank her chubby little fingers into Dean’s mane to hang on, Maggie wrapping her arms around Becca’s waist.
“Don’t go too fast, okay, Dean?” Sam leaned in close so that only Dean could hear him. Dean looked at Sam like he was an idiot, but then Becca started to lean a little too far over his shoulder, slipping. Without even changing his expression, Dean straightened out his neck to catch her. Sam grinned sheepishly. Of course Dean knew how to be careful.
They did the final lap around the tree, Dean tried adding a bit of a prance to his step much to the girls’ enjoyment, but had to stop after only a short time because little pink clouds were forming around his feet every time he put a hoof down, ready to carry them off to Ponyland or something. As they rounded the tree, that feeling of wanting to sing started building up in his chest, and a quick glance over at Sam told him that either his little brother was feeling something similar, or he was about to poop a rainbow. Dean tried to hold it in, but before he could stop himself, it just burst out.
“Hey! It’s great when we’re together!” he sang at the top of his lungs, despite his best efforts not to, “Lots of things that need to get done!”
Sam joined in, harmonizing, and looking just as horrified. “But hey, it’s okay! When we work together, the job is much more fun!” As he sang, little field mice and birds started gathering around, watching with interest.
The girls started shrieking with joy, singing along in their high giggly voices. “No task is too hard with a helping hand! No chore is a bore with a friend at your side! Nothing is impossible so long as you believe, so get up! Take a stand, don’t run and hide!” The animals that had gathered started a dance routine, waltzing between Sam and Dean’s hooves, harmonizing and providing the background music, looking uncomfortably happy and cutesy all the while.
“We’re right here to help, there to the end! You can always rely on your very best friend!” They all finished together on the high note, the girls not quite hitting it, the animals performing tumbles and loop the loops like it was a big finishing number for a Broadway musical. They all paused, frozen in poses when the music stopped, and then the animals vanished like nothing had ever happened.
Sam breathed heavily and focused all of his attention on not meeting Dean’s eyes. Maybe if they didn’t look at each other, they could pretend that had never happened. Sam sighed in relief when a distraction came in the form of the mother calling out for her daughters from the blanket, looking for them.
“Time’s up, sweethearts,” Dean said as he carefully lowered himself to his knees so that the girls could slip off, “Mom’s looking for you.” He wasn’t looking at Sam either, but he seemed more preoccupied with the girls than whatever had just happened.
“Awww,” the girls whined, but Dean just gave them a gentle nudge with his nose. They slowly and reluctantly started back to their mother.
“Bye, Mr. Ponies!” Becca called back, waving brightly, before turning and running to catch up with her sister.
The brothers watched them leave, smiling and shaking their heads, deciding that the musical number hadn’t been that bad. Weird, yes, unbelievably so, but not that bad. “We just made their day,” Sam noted, grinning at Dean, ready with an ‘I told you so’.
“Dude, we just made their lives. They are never going to forget this.” Dean scoffed, looking incredibly pleased.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed, realizing the ‘I told you so’ wasn’t necessary.
They kept an eye on the little family as they enjoyed their picnic until they left. They couldn’t hear the girls chatting at their mother about the magical ponies the whole way out of the field, but they knew it was happening anyways.
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