Fic: Blue, NOT Fluffy, Unicorns NOT Dancing On Rainbows 2/2
Title: Blue, NOT Fluffy, Unicorns NOT Dancing On Rainbows
Pairings/Characters: Dean/Cas, Sam, Gabriel, Bobby
Genre: Crack, Slash, Fluff, Humor, CRACK???
Rating: Pg-13
Word count: 13,557
Spoilers: Up to Season 5
Warnings: CRACK, sugar overload, WAAAY TOO CUTESY
Summary: Sam and Dean, after a nasty run in with a chaos goddess, are turned into ponies. But not just any ponies. My Little Ponies
AN: Random plot bunny that ate my brain and soul. I have no idea where it came from, but it's gwendolynd's fault that it was finished. Without her I would have abandoned it long ago. Thank you to applepie_x0 for helping me sort out plot issues! And HUGE thank you to sorrydreaming for both betaing, and suggesting some AWESOME crackiness to add. Kisses everyone!
Previous
Cas didn’t come back that day, so Sam and Dean spent the night in the field, curled up together under the tree, which was still draping its branches to give them a cozy private space. They thought they might get cold, but when Dean sighed, more little pink clouds appeared and covered them like a blanket. It was slightly creepy, but by that point they were too tired to care, and the clouds were warm, so they just fell asleep.
They woke up to a bright morning and the sound of wingbeats and birdsong. Dean raised his head from Sam’s back, looking up into the sunlight, to see Cas flying towards them, trailed by his bluebird entourage. Cas was highlighted by the rays of the sunrise as they washed over him, making him glow golden. Dean caught himself gaping, and he snapped his mouth shut when Cas landed. He really shouldn’t have been thinking that My Little Pony Cas was beautiful. That was just weird.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean greeted, ducking as a bluebird flew by, twittering.
“I have brought Bobby,” Cas said in lieu of a hello. “He seemed to also find my condition quite humorous, and insisted on taking several pictures.”
“Oh Lord, I didn’t even think of that,” Sam grumbled, still lying down and pretending to sleep.
“Where is he?” Dean asked, looking back the way Cas had come.
“He is waiting for us by the Impala, with the camera.”
Dean sighed, before turning to nudge Sam with a hoof. When Sam refused to get up right away, Dean was forced to resort to his sparkly horn to prod him up, much to his chagrin. Sam yelped when the horn managed to jab him in the butt, jumping to his hooves.
“Dean!”
“Come on, Sammy, we can’t keep Bobby waiting!” Dean said brightly, ignoring Sam’s death glare in favour of trotting back over to Cas. “Lead on, my good man.”
For some reason, instead of flying on ahead, Cas stayed on the ground with them, leading them across the field towards the parking lot of the motel, his bluebirds circling like a halo. Dean could hear Sam muttering something under his breath as he fell into step just behind Cas, but he ignored him in favour of surreptitiously checking out Cas’ wings. As an angel, his wings had been invisible to the human eye, but as a pony they were completely visible, large fluffy things that looked too cute to be real.
They knew they had come into Bobby’s line of sight the moment it happened, because they could hear him laughing from where they were walking. Dean’s ears automatically went flat against his head and his eyes narrowed in irritation. A little sympathy would have been nice. But then his ears swivelled back around to the front when he noticed that there were actually two voices laughing. He focused hard on the other voice, trying to figure out where he had heard it before.
“Oh, no,” Sam suddenly froze mid-step, a look of horror crossing his too-sweet features. “Oh, hell no. What is he doing here?”
Dean was about to ask for clarification, but then he saw Cas actually flinch. Cas pawed nervously at the ground, which was so completely unlike him that he knew it must have been bad. “Cas?”
“He was already there when I arrived,” Cas admitted. “There was no way to avoid his presence.”
“Who?” Dean asked again, squinting in the direction of the Impala to see if he could spot the stranger.
“Gabriel,” Sam growled.
“What?!” Dean shouted, turning on Cas and ready to start demanding answers, when he saw that Sam wasn’t answering his question when he spoke. Rather, he was speaking to the new arrival to their circle, who had appeared out of nowhere and was now lounging on Sam’s back like he belonged there.
“Get off,” Sam snarled, looking like he would buck if Gabriel didn’t immediately obey.
“Heya, Sammy!” Gabriel greeted brightly, completely ignoring the hostile vibes coming off of both Winchesters. “Don’t you look adorable! Really, you guys are too precious!” Sam turned his head to nip at Gabriel, but he had already moved, instantly reappearing at Dean’s side, resting an arm over his back.
“Please, Gabriel. This isn’t funny,” Castiel intoned, but Gabriel just grinned, eyeing the twittering bluebirds that had settled on Castiel’s wings.
“Sure it is! It’s hysterical!” And then he snapped his fingers and from nowhere whipped out a camera and started snapping photos. “Smile, everyone! These are going out as my Christmas cards!”
Dean was halted from enacting his plan of impaling Gabriel with his sparkly horn by the timely arrival of Bobby. He was wheezing slightly, from laughing no doubt, but even still Dean was ridiculously happy to see him.
“You boys alright?” Bobby asked, his voice strained from holding back his laughter. Dean thought he could see a camera tucked behind Bobby’s back, and he snorted angrily.
“If it’ll hurry this up, you can take all the damn pictures you want, just change us back,” Sam pleaded, looking extremely frazzled as Gabriel started snapping photos of him from every angle. “I can’t take much more of this.”
“Alright, alright. Keep your shorts on,” Bobby placated him, digging into the tool box he was carrying and pulling out a few items. “Now, you said a Goddess did this?”
“Yeah,” Sam walked over, eyeing the supplies, “Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos.”
Gabriel immediately stopped taking pictures, and whistled lowly. “Damn, you pissed off Eris?”
“You know her?” Dean asked.
“Yeah, she’s the one person you never want to snub if you’re throwing a party. Someone did that once, and she ended up starting the war of Troy.”
Dean shot Sam a fearful look. “Well, shit.”
“Sounds like you got off lucky then,” Bobby said, rubbing the back of his head.
“Lucky? Bobby, I have rainbow hair. What the hell is lucky about that?” Dean snapped. He tossed his head, whipping the rainbow locks around for emphasis, sending sparkles streaming through the air. Bobby visibly bit down on the urge to laugh.
“Please, Gabriel,” Sam turned on the charm, looking as miserable as possible. “Can’t you just zap us back to normal?”
“Oh, no. You’re not getting me involved in one of Eris’ crazy schemes,” Gabriel shook his head, backing up slowly with his hands raised. “I am not going to try and mess with her magic, it won’t end well. For me, that is.”
“What? Aw, come on.” Dean stomped a hoof. “You’re an archangel, and you’re afraid of a little magic?”
Gabriel shot him an annoyed glance, but directed his words at Sam. “Eris is a chaos goddess, there’s no way of telling how she cast the spell, and who knows what’ll happen if I try to remove it. Eris has a mean sense of humour after all.”
“Bobby?” Dean turned desperately to their only other hope.
Bobby looked them over appraisingly. “I dunno, boys, lifting a goddess’ curse is going to take a fair bit of work. Might take me a while to figure out the cure.”
Dean cursed, before stomping off to avoid kicking someone. There went that hope. If Gabriel wasn’t willing to just snap them back to normal and Bobby didn’t know how to fix it, there was now a very real possibility that they would be stuck like this for a long time. He glared down at his hooves, ignoring the little pink thundercloud that had appeared above his head.
He didn’t look up when he heard someone trot up behind him, just continued to glare at the ground. “What do you want, Sam?” he growled.
“I believe Sam wants to return to his true form,” Cas answered. “At least, that is what I have come to understand based on his pleas to Gabriel.”
Dean looked up and met Cas’ eyes. Some small part of him that he kept buried in the back of his mind was pleased to see that even as a pony, Cas’ eyes were still the same intense blue that Dean was used to seeing. “How are you taking this?” Dean suddenly had a burning urge to know.
Cas tilted his head, and then managed a perfect shrug, despite his pony body. “Neither this nor Jimmy Novak were anything similar to my true form. It is just another vessel to me.”
Dean winced, though he couldn’t be sure why. It shouldn’t have mattered to him what Cas thought of his human body. He told himself that he didn’t care, but for some reason it made him uncomfortable to hear Cas speaking so flippantly about his human form. He cleared his throat and decided to change the subject before he started paying too close attention to what was bothering him.
“We should probably head back, see if Sam’s managed to talk Gabriel into helping yet,” he tossed his head back towards the others. Cas nodded, then followed silently as they trotted back.
“Well?” Dean asked when he reached them, trying not to sound too hopeful.
Sam shot Gabriel an annoyed look. “Gabriel refuses to help, but Bobby wants to try a small ritual to see if the curse will just wear off on its own.”
Dean looked to Bobby for confirmation, and saw that the hunter had already started setting out what he’d need, setting up a circle of candles and salt lines calmly and efficiently. He had apparently gotten over his chuckles, focusing on the task at hand. He looked up when he heard his name, and gave Dean a short nod before returning to his work.
Gabriel snorted derisively, shaking his head. “You guys are screwed.”
“Thank you, Mr. Optimism,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Ignore him,” he told Dean and Cas. “He’s just pissed that someone else thought of this first, and now he’s pouting.”
“Hey!” Gabriel snapped, but Dean followed Sam’s advice and ignored him.
That’s when Bobby came over, ritual ready to go. “Alright, let’s get this over with,” he grumbled, bringing up a brush made of dried thyme and a bowl of some strange looking liquid that Dean didn’t want to identify. Sam was prepared first, the liquid painted over his body in strange swirls and lines, then Dean, and finally Cas. Once they were painted, Bobby directed them to stand in the middle of the circle while he stood outside of it and started to read something from an old book that sounded like Greek. Gabriel watched silently, not even a box of popcorn in his hands, and that should have been a pretty big warning sign, but unfortunately it was too late. Bobby had already started the ritual and they couldn’t stop it now.
Dean almost thought that he might have been paranoid when they came up to the end of the ritual and nothing unpleasant had happened. He felt himself start to relax as Bobby’s voice quieted and the candles did nothing more than flicker. They all stood in silence for a few seconds, holding their breath and waiting for Bobby’s conclusion. When Bobby didn’t immediately speak, Sam spoke up. “Well?”
Without warning, there was a bright flash of light and a loud noise, like the space they were standing on had just been struck by lightning. Dean’s vision whited out, his ears going flat against his head at the loud noise. He couldn’t even hear himself shouting, let alone anyone else, and he stumbled blindly, trying to find someone. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the noise and light vanished. Dean found himself blinking at a pair of bright blue eyes only inches from his face. He resisted the urge to yelp and stumble back when he realized it was Cas he had almost run into face first.
“Oh, no.”
Dean looked to see what had upset Sam, before he almost choked on his own air when he saw what Sam was staring down at. Bobby and Gabriel were gone, and there were two new ponies in their place. They could instantly tell which one was Gabriel because he had wings like Castiel. He too had kept his brown hair, but his body was now pure white with caramel dapples on his back, and a picture of a strange pagan symbol surrounded by candy on his butt. Dean briefly wondered why Gabriel had been changed too, but then the pony that must have been Bobby started to stir. Dean turned to look, and immediately burst out laughing.
“Shut up, idjit,” Bobby grumbled as he pulled himself to his hooves. Dean couldn’t help it though, he suddenly felt a lot better about his rainbow hair and sparkly horn. At least he wasn’t pink.
“Oh man, Bobby. You should see yourself,” Sam told him, looking like he couldn’t decide if he was amused or horrified. Bobby huffed, trying to shake his silvery hair with green streaks out of his eyes, his eyes bugging out when he saw the glitter that was created.
“At least I’m not a damn unicorn,” Bobby snapped at Dean. Dean had to concede that point. He was a normal pony, like Sam. “See if I ever help you out again.”
“We’re sorry, Bobby,” Sam apologized, whipping Dean with his rainbow tail and glaring. “We didn’t know that would happen.”
“I tried to warn you,” Gabriel snorted, intruding into the loose circle they had formed. Cas obligingly moved aside for him, which made him brush against Dean’s side. Dean told himself that the shiver that shot through his body was one of revulsion for Gabriel. “I told you that Eris wasn’t one to let people mess with her stuff. Now look what you’ve done!”
“What were we supposed to do, try and stop the Apocalypse as My Little Ponies?” Dean asked, sarcasm thick in his voice.
“Why did you change too?” Sam interrupted, cutting off the fight before it could begin. “And why haven’t you changed back?”
Gabriel sighed. “I must have been too close when she decided to make more chaos. And I can’t change back. I may be an archangel, but I’m also a Trickster, and Eris is like a Trickster’s boss.”
“She’s the Goddess of Chaos,” Bobby guessed, nodding his head, “makes sense.”
“So I’ll be able to change back, but it’ll take way more energy than I’d like to use right now,” Gabriel finished.
“So what do we do?” Dean growled, wanting to reach up and pull on his hair, but lacking the hands to do so.
“I think I can help you,” a voice spoke up. The five ponies whirled to face the newcomer, tensing because they knew that voice. Sure enough, Eris was standing before them, looking exactly as she had the last time Sam and Dean had seen her, only at a regular human size instead of Godzilla. She smirked at them, but catching sight of the two new ponies, she suddenly squealed like a little girl and rushed over. “Oh, but you’re perfect!” She shrieked, laughing as she circled Gabriel.
“Hello, Eris,” Gabriel greeted her flatly.
“Loki?” She stopped short. “Loki, is that you?”
Gabriel winced. “Unfortunately.” The Winchesters shared a look of disbelief, Dean mouthing ‘Loki?’ at Sam, but all Sam could do was shrug.
Eris blinked at him, and then burst out laughing. “Oh, this is too good! How did you get involved in this, Loki?”
“You targeted a few of my favourite playthings,” Gabriel smirked, jerking his head at the Winchesters. “You mentioned you could help?” he asked, cutting the brothers off before they could protest to being called playthings.
“Well, I was going to make you a deal,” Eris said distractedly, circling Bobby now. He shifted uncomfortably.
“Oh?” Gabriel asked, taking over as spokesman for the group automatically. Dean let it go, seeing as Gabriel had way more experience dealing with Gods than them. “What kind of deal?”
Eris grinned at him. “As you probably know, it’s Dysnomia’s birthday tomorrow,” she said. Dean started to ask who Dysnomia was, but Gabriel stomped on his hoof before he could even open his mouth. He bit back a cry of pain, glaring at Gabriel, but he was ignored.
“Already? My, she’s growing up fast,” Gabriel said, a pleasant smile plastered over his face.
“Yes, and I wanted to do something nice for her birthday party. And I’m sure you know how much she just loves My Little Ponies. So I decided to give her real ones!” Eris grinned brightly.
“What a wonderful gift idea!” Gabriel agreed, all false cheer. “But you don’t mean...us, do you?”
Eris scoffed and waved a hand through the air. “No, no. You’re not perfect enough for her, I’ve already created the one I’m giving her.”
“So we’re ponies because...?”
“Well, I need some form of entertainment for the party, don’t I?” Eris pointed out, like Gabriel was an idiot for even asking. “I need ponies for the carousel.”
Gabriel’s jaw dropped open, but he managed to turn his shock into a knowing nod. “Of course.”
“So?” She looked at them expectantly. “What do you say? You five act as carousel horses for my daughter’s birthday, and after it’s over, I’ll change you back. Deal?”
“Do we have any choice?” Dean muttered under his breath. Gabriel stomped on his hoof again.
“That sounds lovely,” Gabriel simpered. “We’d be thrilled to entertain at Dysnomia’s party.”
Eris beamed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The day of the party dawned bright and sunny, either the influence of one of the Gods attending or the effect of them being My Little Ponies, and the five woke slowly and reluctantly from where they had slept huddled up together under the tree in the middle of the field. Dean blinked his eyes open sluggishly, blowing a strand of green hair out of his eyes, and frowning in confusion when he noticed that the sky seemed strangely fluffy and yellow.
Once his brain actually came online, he realized that he wasn’t looking up at the sky, but the underside of a wing which was wrapped around him. He followed the wing back to the source and found blue eyes staring back at him. He drew a sharp breath, not sure how to interpret the heat in that gaze, especially as it was coming from a pony, but it made him feel warm inside. “Cas?” he asked softly.
Realizing he was caught, Cas looked away, a faint blush staining his butter yellow cheeks. It was oddly endearing, and Dean had to fight back a smile. “I see you are awake,” Cas murmured.
“Yeah,” Dean yawned. “Unfortunately.”
“I’m sure Eris will be here soon to retrieve us,” Cas mentioned, completely ignoring that he had just been watching Dean sleep, like it wasn’t…weird. “We should wake the others.”
Dean snorted at Cas’ false nonchalance, but let it go, mostly because he was the last person who’d want to press the issue. Instead he rose to his hooves, stretching out his frozen limbs. He spotted Sam sleeping peacefully right behind him, and with an evil grin, he aimed a kick right at Sam’s butt picture.
Sam awoke with a yelp, scrambling up to escape his attacker, which led him to trample over Gabriel and Bobby. They also woke with shouts, flailing, and all three ended up tangled up together in a pile of brightly coloured hair and hooves.
“Dean!” all three shouted as they tried to get up, as Dean fell back to the ground, laughing so hard he was shaking. He was laughing so hard, he almost didn’t hear the most amazing sound ever. He looked up in shock when he realized that the soft peals of laughter that had floated through his amusement had been coming from Cas.
Dean gaped as he watched Cas laugh brightly, trying to stifle the giggles behind a raised leg, but he was completely unsuccessful. As Sam tried to tug his tail free from where it had somehow become tangled in Gabriel’s wings, Cas started laughing harder, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Dean was struck speechless, an odd fluttery feeling growing in his chest.
“Yes, yes. Ha, ha, very funny,” Gabriel grumbled as Bobby leaned in to help them get untangled. Sam looked absolutely furious with Dean, Bobby less than thrilled, but Dean didn’t care. It was worth whatever pranks Sam could come up with and cuffs to the head Bobby could dish out just to hear Cas laugh for real for the first time ever.
It took a few minutes for them to settle down after getting Sam and Gabriel loose, and Castiel calmed down. Dean had received a few kicks from the others, but he was still feeling all floaty, so he ignored them. Then there was nothing to do but stand by the tree and wait for Eris to arrive.
Thankfully she didn’t leave them waiting for long. Not even five minutes later, she appeared, today wearing a new set of robes that were pink and sparkly. Dean smirked at them, but she gave him a pointed look at his sparkly horn, and his smirk changed to a scowl. Behind her a few other women appeared, dressed similarly, and all carrying huge piles of ribbons, flowers, and other girly items that Dean knew dreadingly would soon be covering them all.
“Shall we get started?” Eris asked, sounding slightly harried. Apparently planning birthday parties for a goddess was just as stressful as planning birthday parties for regular little girls. “My assistants here will get you ready, and then you’ll be brought to the field to be loaded onto the carousel.”
“Loaded?” Sam asked in alarm. “What do you mean, loaded?”
“You’ll find out when you get there,” Eris waved him off. “Now be good, I’ll be back to get you in an hour. You’d better be ready by then.” The or else wasn’t said, but her glare carried the sentiment. She gave them one last hard look, and then with a nod was gone.
The ponies stared apprehensively at the attendants, who each seemed to be assigned to one of them. The closest attendant came forward, placing her pile on the ground next to Cas, and then pulling out a brush. She set to work brushing out his hair, making his coat lie flat, making it shine. Immediately the other attendants stepped forward to do the same. Dean shifted uncomfortably as his attendant started brushing out his rainbow hair, untangling the braids that Becca and Maggie had put in them, but eventually he relaxed as he realized that it actually felt pretty good. The attendant was calm, silent and efficient, quickly cleaning Dean up so that he looked shiny and new. Then she put the brush down and started picking up the other items in her pile. Dean gulped when he saw the sparkly white saddle with pink border plastered with roses. The saddle was placed over his back, then secured with a pink ribbon around his belly and across his chest and rump. A halter was put on next, much to Dean’s disgust. Thankfully there was no mouth bit, but the entire thing felt very restraining and uncomfortable. It was the same pink as the ribbons and saddle decorations, and it continued the rose motif. For the finishing touches, the attendant wove roses into his mane and tail, and added a crown of roses around his horn. He felt like a cupcake, and he had to physically resist the urge to shudder at all the pink.
He was grateful to see that everyone pretty much got the same treatment, although there were slight differences. Sam was purple instead of pink, with lilacs instead of roses. Bobby was yellow with daffodils, Gabriel was green with ivy, and Cas was blue with irises. Together they looked so ridiculously girly Dean couldn’t stand it. He was going to kill Eris for this.
Just as he thought of her, Eris appeared, her hair in disarray, looking even more harried than before. When she caught sight of them though, she instantly perked up. “Oh, you look perfect!” She gushed, and then she rolled her eyes and muttered to herself, “At least something is.” Then she shook her head, and brightened up again. “Are you ready to practice singing?”
The ponies stared at her. “Singing?” Sam gulped.
“Yes!” Eris said, frowning. “You’ll need to sing the My Little Pony theme song when the carousel is running,” she insisted. They stared at her harder.
“What if we don’t know this song?” Cas asked, head tilted.
Eris’ face darkened. “What do you mean, you don’t know it?” The air around her started crackling.
Sam and Bobby shared a frantic look, and Sam turned towards Gabriel, ready to beg him to intervene for them, when they heard something odd from behind them. Dean stepped forward, singing brightly to himself, glaring at the others as if daring them to say something.
“My Little Pony, My Little Pony,” he sang, Castiel’s bird entourage providing the backup vocals. “Isn’t this world a lovely place? My Little Pony, My Little Pony - ”
“Stop!” Eris threw up a hand, cutting Dean off with a wince. “On second thought, maybe not. Your voices are a little too...rough and deep for that song. We’ll just have to get a record player or something instead.”
“Can we just get this over with?” Dean demanded, blushing in embarrassment, and avoiding everyone’s gaze. A pink blush spread over his pony face, and he suddenly desperately wanted to get out of all the pink as soon as possible. So what if he knew all the words to the My Little Pony theme song? It was catchy, damnit!
“Yes, yes, of course,” Eris agreed, and with a flick of her wrist, they were suddenly somewhere else. They were standing in the middle of a beautiful meadow, full of emerald green rolling hills and wildflowers. Dean had no idea where they were, but he suspected it wasn’t quite earth. It looked too perfect.
Set up just to their left was a huge carousel, so covered in decorations, ribbons, and flowers, it looked like a wedding cake ready to topple over. The ponies balked the moment they caught sight of it, but Eris didn’t give them time to run. She instantly started pushing them towards it, shouting at some people behind her loudly in Greek. The attendants reappeared as they neared the carousel, holding up delicate-looking golden chains and more ribbon.
“Let’s get you in place,” Eris directed them, pushing them into a circle around the carousel. Dean could see once he was in position that the carousel didn’t actually turn, but the chains that were being hooked onto their saddles and bridles connected to a maypole in the center that would. So not only did they look ridiculous, they had to actually carry these kids around as well. Fantastic. At least they weren’t going to be impaled with those spiral poles like on a normal carousel.
Once they were clipped in place, the attendants had them do a few trial runs to make sure they wouldn’t run into each other or trip over the chains, and then there was no more time. The attendants vanished in a swirl of their dresses as a loud trumpet blast echoed over the meadow, announcing the arrival of the birthday girl and her guests. They could hear the sound of several young girls shrieking in excitement as they crested the hill and caught sight of the party laid out for them. Each was dressed like a little princess, with tiaras and cone hats and frills and lace, but the birthday girl was immediately recognizable even amongst all the others. While the other little girls were dressed like princesses, Dysnomia looked like a queen.
Dysnomia stared out at the party grounds, trailing behind the other girls, who immediately stampeded down the hill towards all the sparkly girly things Eris had set out. Several swarmed the dessert table, gobbling up the pink cupcakes and sugar hearts and sipping on sparkling apple juice. Another group ran to where Dionysus was putting on a puppet show. A third group charged straight for the carousel, which was located right in the centre of the party. Dean’s eyes widened as a line formed of giggling little girls, all of whom wanted to ride the unicorn with the sparkly horn. He choked back a whimper.
Eris had asked Chiron to man the carousel, making sure the girls formed an orderly line. The first five girls were lifted onto their backs, Dean carrying an adorable girl who looked to be no more than four. Then he remembered he was at a birthday party full of Gods, and that this little girl was probably older than the dirt, and it got a bit creepy. Still, she seemed thrilled to be there, and Dean had to be on his best behaviour if any of them wanted to be human again, so he just bit his lip and started walking when he saw Sam in front of him move.
It really wasn’t that bad, he had to grudgingly admit later. They walked around the circle slowly enough that they couldn’t get dizzy, and each ride only lasted about two minutes. A few of the girls were unpleasant to carry, kicking their heels into his sides and tugging on his hair so hard he thought he lost a few chunks, but most of the girls treated him like he was the most magical thing they had ever seen, which he found kind of hysterical considering they were Gods. After each group finished, they had a minute to rest while Chiron sorted out the next five girls, and then the process was repeated.
They worked for about two hours, before the girls were called away for cake. Although Dean hadn’t been running nor doing anything particularly strenuous, he still collapsed gratefully when Chiron unhooked them and lead them over to a tent to rest and drink some water. The God mostly left them alone, chatting quietly with Gabriel when he spoke at all, making him Dean’s favourite God ever.
“How you doing?” Sam asked him as they settled down to eat. Someone had provided a tub of apples for their lunch, which Dean was all too happy to dig into.
“Mmmm, goo’ aphle,” Dean moaned with his mouth full. Sam shot him a disgusted look, but Dean just grinned, then swallowed. “Alright, I guess,” he said, “A bit tired.”
“Me too,” Sam agreed, biting into an apple. He was forced to shuffle aside as Bobby joined them, looking absolutely haggard. “Tough time, Bobby?” Sam asked, wincing in sympathy. Bobby just glared at them both, before burying his face into the tub to eat. When Dean gave Sam a questioning look, he explained. “His last rider was a bit of a handful, and that’s putting it diplomatically.”
“At least she didn’t try to tug your wings off,” Gabriel muttered as he trotted over, Castiel right behind him. The Winchesters moved aside to give the pegasi access to the food, but they ignored it. “There are a few brats here I wouldn’t mind playing a few tricks on once I’m back to normal.”
“These are goddesses,” Castiel reminded him. Gabriel’s face soured even further.
“Well, we’re almost done, right?” Sam offered optimistically. “Just a bit longer, and then Eris’ll change us back.”
“Assuming she holds up her end of the bargain,” Dean pointed out.
“She will,” Gabriel assured them. “Eris is pretty good about keeping her word, believe it or not.”
Sam looked out through the tent flaps to where Eris was handing out cake. “Let’s hope so.”
They only got about a half hour’s rest before it was time to head back out to the carousel to get hooked up again. Dean hung his head with a resigned air, but found that he didn’t mind too much when he was put back into position and clipped in. They only had to last until the end of the party, and then they could go back to hunting, and pretend none of this ever happened. Just a bit longer.
When the girls came back, this time Dysnomia led them instead of trailing behind. She marched right up to Chiron and looked him dead in the eye. “I would like to ride the carousel,” she said simply.
“Alright,” Chiron nodded. “Do you know which pony you want?”
Dysnomia studied each of them, her appraising look lingering over each of them, before she finally pointed straight at Cas. “That one,” she insisted.
Chiron picked her up around the waist and carried her over to Cas, where she was plopped down on his back. She shifted until she was settled, straightening up to sit regally. All of the other girls were dressed like princesses, but Dysnomia looked like royalty. Cas perked up once she grabbed the ribbon that acted as the reigns, fluffing out his wings and tossing his head. Dysnomia watched him, entranced. Dean had to admit, Eris had chosen the theme of her daughter’s party well based on how fascinated Dysnomia seemed to be with them all, especially Cas. Something bitter crawled in his throat, which he told himself firmly wasn’t jealousy. Probably something wrong with the apples they had eaten for lunch.
Four others were loaded onto their backs, squealing, and then they started the round. Dean couldn’t really see how Dysnomia was enjoying herself because she and Cas were behind him, and for some reason that made him nervous. He didn’t like the reverent look Dysnomia had been giving Cas earlier.
They worked for another few hours while the party played on, carrying what felt like every single guest at least twice, if not more. Dysnomia came back twice, and each time chose to ride Cas, which made even Sam shoot worried looks over to the angel. Dean wanted to sob with relief when he finally heard Eris announce that it was time for presents, because that was the signal that this nightmare was almost over.
Once again they were brought over to the tent to rest, but this time they could see what was going on with the party, as the gift table was set much closer to the tent than the cake table had been. Dean heard Sam gasping in time with the girlish squeals every time a present was opened, but he was too fed up to care about seeing what kinds of things a goddess got for her birthday. Instead he flopped down next to Cas and leaned in close, resting their heads together. If Bobby shot them a knowing look, Dean ignored him.
“You okay?” Dean asked, eyeing Castiel’s wings which were a little ruffled after an afternoon of little hands brushing them and tugging on them. Dean wanted to hit whoever had messed them up. Demon children, the lot of them.
But Cas merely smiled at him warmly. “I’m fine,” he insisted. “I have suffered no lasting harm, and we have almost fulfilled our obligations. I will…let it slide.”
Dean beamed with pride to hear Cas using human slang properly, feeling like a dad watching his kid tying his shoes for the first time. Cas smiled back. Then, moving hesitantly as if he wasn’t certain he was overstepping his bounds, he leaned into Dean’s side, lifting a wing to wrap around Dean’s shoulders. Dean barely breathed as he soft feathers settled over his back, watching Cas carefully. Cas stared straight at him, unblinking. Dean couldn’t help but feel like this was a moment, one that could change everything. He sucked in a sharp breath as Cas’ wing tightened, drawing him closer, and he knew he had to say something.
“Cas - ” he started to speak, but he was cut off by a sudden huge collective gasp from the girls and a loud curse from Sam. Dean and Cas scrambled up and over to where Sam was slowly backing away from the opening of the tent. Sam looked at Cas, flicking back to Gabriel, looking frantic.
“I don’t want this one, mother, I want the yellow Pegasus!”
Dean felt himself go pale as Dysnomia’s voice rang out over the silence. He stared at Cas, who looked equally stunned. At the sight of the usually unflappable angel looking so upset, Dean’s protective instincts flared, hard, and he instantly pushed Cas back behind him. Sam, bless him, caught on quickly as well, stepping up to block Cas as well with his larger body, looking just as determined as Dean. Bobby joined them, flanking Cas’ side, and Gabriel flanked the other after a bit of grumbling. Together they stood, ready to fight to defend their friend.
They could hear Dysnomia stomping towards the tent, Eris trailing behind her and trying to cajole her into taking the created pony. Dysnomia threw open the flap of the tent and stopped dead at the sight of four ponies facing her down. Eris stopped right behind her, wringing her hands nervously. The other party guests had remained with the gifts, but all eyes were straining to see what would happen in the tent.
Dysnomia was only thrown off for a second by their united front, before she shook herself off and the look of indignation came back to her face. “I want the yellow Pegasus,” she told them.
“Well, you can’t have him,” Dean snapped, taking a step forward.
Dysnomia jerked, surprised. Dean wondered if anyone had ever said no to her before. However, she recovered quickly, still adamant. “I want him. It’s my birthday, give him to me.”
“He’s not yours!” Dean shouted. “You can’t just have him!”
“Why not?” Dysnomia demanded. “I want him. I always get what I want. Give him to me!”
“No!” Dean growled. “You can’t have him!”
Dysnomia looked furious now, her hair rising like hackles. “Why not?” she asked again.
“Because he’s mine!” Dean shouted.
The entire tent went silent. Dysnomia gaped at him, and Dean could feel every pair of eyes on him. His mouth shut with an audible click as he realized exactly what he had just said. He couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere but at the goddess in front of him, partially because he didn’t want to see what everyone was thinking, and partially because he knew he couldn’t afford to back down now.
“Yeah, you heard me,” he said, injecting as much bravado into his voice as he could, puffing up his chest. “So you can’t have him.”
Dysnomia opened and closed her mouth, and had the situation been any different, Dean might have felt proud for making a God speechless, but the moment was soured by the continued silence of everyone assembled. Finally Dysnomia closed her mouth, frowning in thought. She considered him for a moment, her head tilted, before her nose wrinkled.
“Well, I don’t want you,” she spat. She gave him a disapproving look, and then straightened up to her full height to look down her nose at him. “Fine. Keep him. I’d rather have the other pony then have the yellow pegasus and have to put up with you.” And with that she whirled sharply on her heel and stomped out of the tent. Eris blinked in shock, then scrambled to follow after her wilful daughter.
The air in the tent was tense for a moment more, then it was like all of the suspense melted out in one huge sigh. Dean felt his shoulders drop, and he kind of wanted to just sink to the ground in relief, but he knew he should probably deal with the whole confession thing first. God, he was too tired for this. He turned slowly, putting on a brave front, ready to face their surprise and derision.
Sam was laughing. Actually, so was Gabriel, and Bobby was shaking his head with amusement. Not a single shocked or scandalized look greeted him. Even Cas was just looking at him thoughtfully instead of judgingly like he expected.
“Dude, it’s about damn time!” Sam laughed, coming over to nudge him playfully. “We thought you were never going to admit it!”
“I swear, that was more painful than the viper venom,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “You two are ridiculous.”
“Idjits,” Bobby added.
Dean gaped at them. “What?”
It was Sam who took pity on him, shaking his head with amusement. “Dude, we’ve known for ages that you and Cas were together. We were just waiting for you to admit it.”
“Together?” Dean squeaked. The amused grin instantly dropped off of Sam’s face.
“You guys are together, already, right?” Sam asked, “Right?”
Dean was saved from answering by the timely arrival of Eris, who was looking much less frantic now that her daughter seemed to be satisfied. She sighed in relief at the sight of them, and broke into a shaky grin.
“Alright, you’ve fulfilled your end of the bargain, and to be honest I never want to see your faces again after that stunt you just pulled with Dysnomia, so let’s get you back to normal and out of my hair, okay?”
Eris didn’t even wait until they were ready, she just strode forward and blew on each of their noses, tracing a little pattern over their foreheads at the same time, and then moving onto the next person. Once she had finished with all of them, she waved a hand, already turning in a whirl of skirts to head out back to the party. They caught one last glimpse of the magical meadow, and then suddenly they were standing back in the field behind the motel where they had been that morning. They teetered for a moment, trying to get their equilibrium back, but before they could, there was a giant eruption of glitter and sparkles that enveloped each of them.
Coughing, Dean emerged from the glitter cloud, waving his hands in front of his face to clear his airways. It wasn’t until he had managed to get his breathing back to normal that he noticed he actually had hands again.
“Sweet!” he cheered, checking himself over to make sure that everything was back to the way it had been. Even his clothes were back in place, which was unusual after an experience where he changed bodies. He looked up when Sam stumbled into him, trying to rub glitter out of his eyes, completely back to normal as well.
Once the glitter had settled, the five of them made an agreement to never speak of what had happened again. Gabriel disappeared with a snap of his fingers, grumbling about his pagan family, and Bobby wandered back to his truck to head home, giving both Sam and Dean a cuff to the head as a goodbye. They waved as he disappeared down the road until next time they needed him.
Once he was gone, Sam stretched, yawning. “Wow, it’s gotten late,” he mumbled, eyeing the night sky.
“Time must have passed more slowly in the God’s meadow,” Cas started to explain, but Dean cut him off with a raised hand.
“Ah, ah, ah! We agreed not to talk about it!” Cas frowned, but let it go.
“I’m going to go see if our room has been raided yet,” Sam told them, jerking his thumb over his shoulder towards the room they’d trashed. “If it’s still ours, I’m crashing.” And then he left without waiting for them to say anything. It didn’t escape Dean’s notice that this left him and Cas alone. Sam probably thought they should talk about their feelings, the giant girl. Although Dean supposed that he couldn’t really say anything about Sam’s girlishness for a while without horrible memories being associated with it.
Dean’s attention was brought back to reality when he looked up to find Cas standing directly in front of him, blue eyes meeting his. His heart skipped a beat, and he couldn’t help but focus on Cas’ lips, which were slightly parted. He licked his own lips nervously, flushing with heat when Cas’ eyes traced the path his tongue had taken.
“You claimed me as your own,” Cas pointed out. The air seemed unnaturally still and quiet, as if the whole world was waiting to see what Dean would say.
Dean knew that he could answer one of two ways. He could lie, say that he had just said whatever it took to make Dysnomia back off. He could say that he had made it all up in the heat of the moment. He could tell Cas to forget about it, and they could go back to the way it had been before, strange lingering stares and far too gentle brushes that were few and far between. But as the silence stretched as Dean considered it, he could see the light dimming from Castiel’s eyes, and he knew the only right answer was the other one, the one that he was terrified to think about, but was what he wanted when he thought about it.
“Damn straight, you’re mine,” Dean said simply, voice gruff with forced nonchalance. He shrugged as if his world hadn’t just shifted on its axis, as if nothing had irrevocably just changed. Played it off as nothing, looking away from Cas and trying to ignore the blush on his face. “So, you know, she couldn’t have you. I woulda had to - mmmph!”
Dean was cut off by dry chapped lips pressing against his own. His eyes widened, and then slid shut of their own volition, his entire body sinking into the kiss as his hands came up to rest on Cas’ shoulders. They stayed that way, held onto the moment, for only a brief time, and then Cas stepped back just as suddenly as he had moved forward, a tiny smile growing on his face. He studied Dean’s face with wonder, as if he couldn’t believe that Dean had allowed him to do that, and then he ducked his head.
“I shall return,” he said before, with a flutter of wings, he was gone, leaving Dean standing alone in the parking lot of some cheap motel next to the Impala.
Dean remained standing still for a minute, staring unseeingly at where Cas had been, before a grin grew over his face until he was beaming. He barely resisted pumping a fist in the air as he headed back to the hotel room to see if Sam had crashed yet.
He didn’t see the small shimmering light that hovered over the hood of the Impala, growing and then bursting just like a soap bubble. Where nothing had been before were now five little toy ponies, all different colours. There were two horses, two pegasi, and a unicorn all grouped together. The unicorn and the yellow pegasus sat closest together, their noses pressed together, happy smiles on their faces.
Pairings/Characters: Dean/Cas, Sam, Gabriel, Bobby
Genre: Crack, Slash, Fluff, Humor, CRACK???
Rating: Pg-13
Word count: 13,557
Spoilers: Up to Season 5
Warnings: CRACK, sugar overload, WAAAY TOO CUTESY
Summary: Sam and Dean, after a nasty run in with a chaos goddess, are turned into ponies. But not just any ponies. My Little Ponies
AN: Random plot bunny that ate my brain and soul. I have no idea where it came from, but it's gwendolynd's fault that it was finished. Without her I would have abandoned it long ago. Thank you to applepie_x0 for helping me sort out plot issues! And HUGE thank you to sorrydreaming for both betaing, and suggesting some AWESOME crackiness to add. Kisses everyone!
Previous
Cas didn’t come back that day, so Sam and Dean spent the night in the field, curled up together under the tree, which was still draping its branches to give them a cozy private space. They thought they might get cold, but when Dean sighed, more little pink clouds appeared and covered them like a blanket. It was slightly creepy, but by that point they were too tired to care, and the clouds were warm, so they just fell asleep.
They woke up to a bright morning and the sound of wingbeats and birdsong. Dean raised his head from Sam’s back, looking up into the sunlight, to see Cas flying towards them, trailed by his bluebird entourage. Cas was highlighted by the rays of the sunrise as they washed over him, making him glow golden. Dean caught himself gaping, and he snapped his mouth shut when Cas landed. He really shouldn’t have been thinking that My Little Pony Cas was beautiful. That was just weird.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean greeted, ducking as a bluebird flew by, twittering.
“I have brought Bobby,” Cas said in lieu of a hello. “He seemed to also find my condition quite humorous, and insisted on taking several pictures.”
“Oh Lord, I didn’t even think of that,” Sam grumbled, still lying down and pretending to sleep.
“Where is he?” Dean asked, looking back the way Cas had come.
“He is waiting for us by the Impala, with the camera.”
Dean sighed, before turning to nudge Sam with a hoof. When Sam refused to get up right away, Dean was forced to resort to his sparkly horn to prod him up, much to his chagrin. Sam yelped when the horn managed to jab him in the butt, jumping to his hooves.
“Dean!”
“Come on, Sammy, we can’t keep Bobby waiting!” Dean said brightly, ignoring Sam’s death glare in favour of trotting back over to Cas. “Lead on, my good man.”
For some reason, instead of flying on ahead, Cas stayed on the ground with them, leading them across the field towards the parking lot of the motel, his bluebirds circling like a halo. Dean could hear Sam muttering something under his breath as he fell into step just behind Cas, but he ignored him in favour of surreptitiously checking out Cas’ wings. As an angel, his wings had been invisible to the human eye, but as a pony they were completely visible, large fluffy things that looked too cute to be real.
They knew they had come into Bobby’s line of sight the moment it happened, because they could hear him laughing from where they were walking. Dean’s ears automatically went flat against his head and his eyes narrowed in irritation. A little sympathy would have been nice. But then his ears swivelled back around to the front when he noticed that there were actually two voices laughing. He focused hard on the other voice, trying to figure out where he had heard it before.
“Oh, no,” Sam suddenly froze mid-step, a look of horror crossing his too-sweet features. “Oh, hell no. What is he doing here?”
Dean was about to ask for clarification, but then he saw Cas actually flinch. Cas pawed nervously at the ground, which was so completely unlike him that he knew it must have been bad. “Cas?”
“He was already there when I arrived,” Cas admitted. “There was no way to avoid his presence.”
“Who?” Dean asked again, squinting in the direction of the Impala to see if he could spot the stranger.
“Gabriel,” Sam growled.
“What?!” Dean shouted, turning on Cas and ready to start demanding answers, when he saw that Sam wasn’t answering his question when he spoke. Rather, he was speaking to the new arrival to their circle, who had appeared out of nowhere and was now lounging on Sam’s back like he belonged there.
“Get off,” Sam snarled, looking like he would buck if Gabriel didn’t immediately obey.
“Heya, Sammy!” Gabriel greeted brightly, completely ignoring the hostile vibes coming off of both Winchesters. “Don’t you look adorable! Really, you guys are too precious!” Sam turned his head to nip at Gabriel, but he had already moved, instantly reappearing at Dean’s side, resting an arm over his back.
“Please, Gabriel. This isn’t funny,” Castiel intoned, but Gabriel just grinned, eyeing the twittering bluebirds that had settled on Castiel’s wings.
“Sure it is! It’s hysterical!” And then he snapped his fingers and from nowhere whipped out a camera and started snapping photos. “Smile, everyone! These are going out as my Christmas cards!”
Dean was halted from enacting his plan of impaling Gabriel with his sparkly horn by the timely arrival of Bobby. He was wheezing slightly, from laughing no doubt, but even still Dean was ridiculously happy to see him.
“You boys alright?” Bobby asked, his voice strained from holding back his laughter. Dean thought he could see a camera tucked behind Bobby’s back, and he snorted angrily.
“If it’ll hurry this up, you can take all the damn pictures you want, just change us back,” Sam pleaded, looking extremely frazzled as Gabriel started snapping photos of him from every angle. “I can’t take much more of this.”
“Alright, alright. Keep your shorts on,” Bobby placated him, digging into the tool box he was carrying and pulling out a few items. “Now, you said a Goddess did this?”
“Yeah,” Sam walked over, eyeing the supplies, “Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos.”
Gabriel immediately stopped taking pictures, and whistled lowly. “Damn, you pissed off Eris?”
“You know her?” Dean asked.
“Yeah, she’s the one person you never want to snub if you’re throwing a party. Someone did that once, and she ended up starting the war of Troy.”
Dean shot Sam a fearful look. “Well, shit.”
“Sounds like you got off lucky then,” Bobby said, rubbing the back of his head.
“Lucky? Bobby, I have rainbow hair. What the hell is lucky about that?” Dean snapped. He tossed his head, whipping the rainbow locks around for emphasis, sending sparkles streaming through the air. Bobby visibly bit down on the urge to laugh.
“Please, Gabriel,” Sam turned on the charm, looking as miserable as possible. “Can’t you just zap us back to normal?”
“Oh, no. You’re not getting me involved in one of Eris’ crazy schemes,” Gabriel shook his head, backing up slowly with his hands raised. “I am not going to try and mess with her magic, it won’t end well. For me, that is.”
“What? Aw, come on.” Dean stomped a hoof. “You’re an archangel, and you’re afraid of a little magic?”
Gabriel shot him an annoyed glance, but directed his words at Sam. “Eris is a chaos goddess, there’s no way of telling how she cast the spell, and who knows what’ll happen if I try to remove it. Eris has a mean sense of humour after all.”
“Bobby?” Dean turned desperately to their only other hope.
Bobby looked them over appraisingly. “I dunno, boys, lifting a goddess’ curse is going to take a fair bit of work. Might take me a while to figure out the cure.”
Dean cursed, before stomping off to avoid kicking someone. There went that hope. If Gabriel wasn’t willing to just snap them back to normal and Bobby didn’t know how to fix it, there was now a very real possibility that they would be stuck like this for a long time. He glared down at his hooves, ignoring the little pink thundercloud that had appeared above his head.
He didn’t look up when he heard someone trot up behind him, just continued to glare at the ground. “What do you want, Sam?” he growled.
“I believe Sam wants to return to his true form,” Cas answered. “At least, that is what I have come to understand based on his pleas to Gabriel.”
Dean looked up and met Cas’ eyes. Some small part of him that he kept buried in the back of his mind was pleased to see that even as a pony, Cas’ eyes were still the same intense blue that Dean was used to seeing. “How are you taking this?” Dean suddenly had a burning urge to know.
Cas tilted his head, and then managed a perfect shrug, despite his pony body. “Neither this nor Jimmy Novak were anything similar to my true form. It is just another vessel to me.”
Dean winced, though he couldn’t be sure why. It shouldn’t have mattered to him what Cas thought of his human body. He told himself that he didn’t care, but for some reason it made him uncomfortable to hear Cas speaking so flippantly about his human form. He cleared his throat and decided to change the subject before he started paying too close attention to what was bothering him.
“We should probably head back, see if Sam’s managed to talk Gabriel into helping yet,” he tossed his head back towards the others. Cas nodded, then followed silently as they trotted back.
“Well?” Dean asked when he reached them, trying not to sound too hopeful.
Sam shot Gabriel an annoyed look. “Gabriel refuses to help, but Bobby wants to try a small ritual to see if the curse will just wear off on its own.”
Dean looked to Bobby for confirmation, and saw that the hunter had already started setting out what he’d need, setting up a circle of candles and salt lines calmly and efficiently. He had apparently gotten over his chuckles, focusing on the task at hand. He looked up when he heard his name, and gave Dean a short nod before returning to his work.
Gabriel snorted derisively, shaking his head. “You guys are screwed.”
“Thank you, Mr. Optimism,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Ignore him,” he told Dean and Cas. “He’s just pissed that someone else thought of this first, and now he’s pouting.”
“Hey!” Gabriel snapped, but Dean followed Sam’s advice and ignored him.
That’s when Bobby came over, ritual ready to go. “Alright, let’s get this over with,” he grumbled, bringing up a brush made of dried thyme and a bowl of some strange looking liquid that Dean didn’t want to identify. Sam was prepared first, the liquid painted over his body in strange swirls and lines, then Dean, and finally Cas. Once they were painted, Bobby directed them to stand in the middle of the circle while he stood outside of it and started to read something from an old book that sounded like Greek. Gabriel watched silently, not even a box of popcorn in his hands, and that should have been a pretty big warning sign, but unfortunately it was too late. Bobby had already started the ritual and they couldn’t stop it now.
Dean almost thought that he might have been paranoid when they came up to the end of the ritual and nothing unpleasant had happened. He felt himself start to relax as Bobby’s voice quieted and the candles did nothing more than flicker. They all stood in silence for a few seconds, holding their breath and waiting for Bobby’s conclusion. When Bobby didn’t immediately speak, Sam spoke up. “Well?”
Without warning, there was a bright flash of light and a loud noise, like the space they were standing on had just been struck by lightning. Dean’s vision whited out, his ears going flat against his head at the loud noise. He couldn’t even hear himself shouting, let alone anyone else, and he stumbled blindly, trying to find someone. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the noise and light vanished. Dean found himself blinking at a pair of bright blue eyes only inches from his face. He resisted the urge to yelp and stumble back when he realized it was Cas he had almost run into face first.
“Oh, no.”
Dean looked to see what had upset Sam, before he almost choked on his own air when he saw what Sam was staring down at. Bobby and Gabriel were gone, and there were two new ponies in their place. They could instantly tell which one was Gabriel because he had wings like Castiel. He too had kept his brown hair, but his body was now pure white with caramel dapples on his back, and a picture of a strange pagan symbol surrounded by candy on his butt. Dean briefly wondered why Gabriel had been changed too, but then the pony that must have been Bobby started to stir. Dean turned to look, and immediately burst out laughing.
“Shut up, idjit,” Bobby grumbled as he pulled himself to his hooves. Dean couldn’t help it though, he suddenly felt a lot better about his rainbow hair and sparkly horn. At least he wasn’t pink.
“Oh man, Bobby. You should see yourself,” Sam told him, looking like he couldn’t decide if he was amused or horrified. Bobby huffed, trying to shake his silvery hair with green streaks out of his eyes, his eyes bugging out when he saw the glitter that was created.
“At least I’m not a damn unicorn,” Bobby snapped at Dean. Dean had to concede that point. He was a normal pony, like Sam. “See if I ever help you out again.”
“We’re sorry, Bobby,” Sam apologized, whipping Dean with his rainbow tail and glaring. “We didn’t know that would happen.”
“I tried to warn you,” Gabriel snorted, intruding into the loose circle they had formed. Cas obligingly moved aside for him, which made him brush against Dean’s side. Dean told himself that the shiver that shot through his body was one of revulsion for Gabriel. “I told you that Eris wasn’t one to let people mess with her stuff. Now look what you’ve done!”
“What were we supposed to do, try and stop the Apocalypse as My Little Ponies?” Dean asked, sarcasm thick in his voice.
“Why did you change too?” Sam interrupted, cutting off the fight before it could begin. “And why haven’t you changed back?”
Gabriel sighed. “I must have been too close when she decided to make more chaos. And I can’t change back. I may be an archangel, but I’m also a Trickster, and Eris is like a Trickster’s boss.”
“She’s the Goddess of Chaos,” Bobby guessed, nodding his head, “makes sense.”
“So I’ll be able to change back, but it’ll take way more energy than I’d like to use right now,” Gabriel finished.
“So what do we do?” Dean growled, wanting to reach up and pull on his hair, but lacking the hands to do so.
“I think I can help you,” a voice spoke up. The five ponies whirled to face the newcomer, tensing because they knew that voice. Sure enough, Eris was standing before them, looking exactly as she had the last time Sam and Dean had seen her, only at a regular human size instead of Godzilla. She smirked at them, but catching sight of the two new ponies, she suddenly squealed like a little girl and rushed over. “Oh, but you’re perfect!” She shrieked, laughing as she circled Gabriel.
“Hello, Eris,” Gabriel greeted her flatly.
“Loki?” She stopped short. “Loki, is that you?”
Gabriel winced. “Unfortunately.” The Winchesters shared a look of disbelief, Dean mouthing ‘Loki?’ at Sam, but all Sam could do was shrug.
Eris blinked at him, and then burst out laughing. “Oh, this is too good! How did you get involved in this, Loki?”
“You targeted a few of my favourite playthings,” Gabriel smirked, jerking his head at the Winchesters. “You mentioned you could help?” he asked, cutting the brothers off before they could protest to being called playthings.
“Well, I was going to make you a deal,” Eris said distractedly, circling Bobby now. He shifted uncomfortably.
“Oh?” Gabriel asked, taking over as spokesman for the group automatically. Dean let it go, seeing as Gabriel had way more experience dealing with Gods than them. “What kind of deal?”
Eris grinned at him. “As you probably know, it’s Dysnomia’s birthday tomorrow,” she said. Dean started to ask who Dysnomia was, but Gabriel stomped on his hoof before he could even open his mouth. He bit back a cry of pain, glaring at Gabriel, but he was ignored.
“Already? My, she’s growing up fast,” Gabriel said, a pleasant smile plastered over his face.
“Yes, and I wanted to do something nice for her birthday party. And I’m sure you know how much she just loves My Little Ponies. So I decided to give her real ones!” Eris grinned brightly.
“What a wonderful gift idea!” Gabriel agreed, all false cheer. “But you don’t mean...us, do you?”
Eris scoffed and waved a hand through the air. “No, no. You’re not perfect enough for her, I’ve already created the one I’m giving her.”
“So we’re ponies because...?”
“Well, I need some form of entertainment for the party, don’t I?” Eris pointed out, like Gabriel was an idiot for even asking. “I need ponies for the carousel.”
Gabriel’s jaw dropped open, but he managed to turn his shock into a knowing nod. “Of course.”
“So?” She looked at them expectantly. “What do you say? You five act as carousel horses for my daughter’s birthday, and after it’s over, I’ll change you back. Deal?”
“Do we have any choice?” Dean muttered under his breath. Gabriel stomped on his hoof again.
“That sounds lovely,” Gabriel simpered. “We’d be thrilled to entertain at Dysnomia’s party.”
Eris beamed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The day of the party dawned bright and sunny, either the influence of one of the Gods attending or the effect of them being My Little Ponies, and the five woke slowly and reluctantly from where they had slept huddled up together under the tree in the middle of the field. Dean blinked his eyes open sluggishly, blowing a strand of green hair out of his eyes, and frowning in confusion when he noticed that the sky seemed strangely fluffy and yellow.
Once his brain actually came online, he realized that he wasn’t looking up at the sky, but the underside of a wing which was wrapped around him. He followed the wing back to the source and found blue eyes staring back at him. He drew a sharp breath, not sure how to interpret the heat in that gaze, especially as it was coming from a pony, but it made him feel warm inside. “Cas?” he asked softly.
Realizing he was caught, Cas looked away, a faint blush staining his butter yellow cheeks. It was oddly endearing, and Dean had to fight back a smile. “I see you are awake,” Cas murmured.
“Yeah,” Dean yawned. “Unfortunately.”
“I’m sure Eris will be here soon to retrieve us,” Cas mentioned, completely ignoring that he had just been watching Dean sleep, like it wasn’t…weird. “We should wake the others.”
Dean snorted at Cas’ false nonchalance, but let it go, mostly because he was the last person who’d want to press the issue. Instead he rose to his hooves, stretching out his frozen limbs. He spotted Sam sleeping peacefully right behind him, and with an evil grin, he aimed a kick right at Sam’s butt picture.
Sam awoke with a yelp, scrambling up to escape his attacker, which led him to trample over Gabriel and Bobby. They also woke with shouts, flailing, and all three ended up tangled up together in a pile of brightly coloured hair and hooves.
“Dean!” all three shouted as they tried to get up, as Dean fell back to the ground, laughing so hard he was shaking. He was laughing so hard, he almost didn’t hear the most amazing sound ever. He looked up in shock when he realized that the soft peals of laughter that had floated through his amusement had been coming from Cas.
Dean gaped as he watched Cas laugh brightly, trying to stifle the giggles behind a raised leg, but he was completely unsuccessful. As Sam tried to tug his tail free from where it had somehow become tangled in Gabriel’s wings, Cas started laughing harder, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Dean was struck speechless, an odd fluttery feeling growing in his chest.
“Yes, yes. Ha, ha, very funny,” Gabriel grumbled as Bobby leaned in to help them get untangled. Sam looked absolutely furious with Dean, Bobby less than thrilled, but Dean didn’t care. It was worth whatever pranks Sam could come up with and cuffs to the head Bobby could dish out just to hear Cas laugh for real for the first time ever.
It took a few minutes for them to settle down after getting Sam and Gabriel loose, and Castiel calmed down. Dean had received a few kicks from the others, but he was still feeling all floaty, so he ignored them. Then there was nothing to do but stand by the tree and wait for Eris to arrive.
Thankfully she didn’t leave them waiting for long. Not even five minutes later, she appeared, today wearing a new set of robes that were pink and sparkly. Dean smirked at them, but she gave him a pointed look at his sparkly horn, and his smirk changed to a scowl. Behind her a few other women appeared, dressed similarly, and all carrying huge piles of ribbons, flowers, and other girly items that Dean knew dreadingly would soon be covering them all.
“Shall we get started?” Eris asked, sounding slightly harried. Apparently planning birthday parties for a goddess was just as stressful as planning birthday parties for regular little girls. “My assistants here will get you ready, and then you’ll be brought to the field to be loaded onto the carousel.”
“Loaded?” Sam asked in alarm. “What do you mean, loaded?”
“You’ll find out when you get there,” Eris waved him off. “Now be good, I’ll be back to get you in an hour. You’d better be ready by then.” The or else wasn’t said, but her glare carried the sentiment. She gave them one last hard look, and then with a nod was gone.
The ponies stared apprehensively at the attendants, who each seemed to be assigned to one of them. The closest attendant came forward, placing her pile on the ground next to Cas, and then pulling out a brush. She set to work brushing out his hair, making his coat lie flat, making it shine. Immediately the other attendants stepped forward to do the same. Dean shifted uncomfortably as his attendant started brushing out his rainbow hair, untangling the braids that Becca and Maggie had put in them, but eventually he relaxed as he realized that it actually felt pretty good. The attendant was calm, silent and efficient, quickly cleaning Dean up so that he looked shiny and new. Then she put the brush down and started picking up the other items in her pile. Dean gulped when he saw the sparkly white saddle with pink border plastered with roses. The saddle was placed over his back, then secured with a pink ribbon around his belly and across his chest and rump. A halter was put on next, much to Dean’s disgust. Thankfully there was no mouth bit, but the entire thing felt very restraining and uncomfortable. It was the same pink as the ribbons and saddle decorations, and it continued the rose motif. For the finishing touches, the attendant wove roses into his mane and tail, and added a crown of roses around his horn. He felt like a cupcake, and he had to physically resist the urge to shudder at all the pink.
He was grateful to see that everyone pretty much got the same treatment, although there were slight differences. Sam was purple instead of pink, with lilacs instead of roses. Bobby was yellow with daffodils, Gabriel was green with ivy, and Cas was blue with irises. Together they looked so ridiculously girly Dean couldn’t stand it. He was going to kill Eris for this.
Just as he thought of her, Eris appeared, her hair in disarray, looking even more harried than before. When she caught sight of them though, she instantly perked up. “Oh, you look perfect!” She gushed, and then she rolled her eyes and muttered to herself, “At least something is.” Then she shook her head, and brightened up again. “Are you ready to practice singing?”
The ponies stared at her. “Singing?” Sam gulped.
“Yes!” Eris said, frowning. “You’ll need to sing the My Little Pony theme song when the carousel is running,” she insisted. They stared at her harder.
“What if we don’t know this song?” Cas asked, head tilted.
Eris’ face darkened. “What do you mean, you don’t know it?” The air around her started crackling.
Sam and Bobby shared a frantic look, and Sam turned towards Gabriel, ready to beg him to intervene for them, when they heard something odd from behind them. Dean stepped forward, singing brightly to himself, glaring at the others as if daring them to say something.
“My Little Pony, My Little Pony,” he sang, Castiel’s bird entourage providing the backup vocals. “Isn’t this world a lovely place? My Little Pony, My Little Pony - ”
“Stop!” Eris threw up a hand, cutting Dean off with a wince. “On second thought, maybe not. Your voices are a little too...rough and deep for that song. We’ll just have to get a record player or something instead.”
“Can we just get this over with?” Dean demanded, blushing in embarrassment, and avoiding everyone’s gaze. A pink blush spread over his pony face, and he suddenly desperately wanted to get out of all the pink as soon as possible. So what if he knew all the words to the My Little Pony theme song? It was catchy, damnit!
“Yes, yes, of course,” Eris agreed, and with a flick of her wrist, they were suddenly somewhere else. They were standing in the middle of a beautiful meadow, full of emerald green rolling hills and wildflowers. Dean had no idea where they were, but he suspected it wasn’t quite earth. It looked too perfect.
Set up just to their left was a huge carousel, so covered in decorations, ribbons, and flowers, it looked like a wedding cake ready to topple over. The ponies balked the moment they caught sight of it, but Eris didn’t give them time to run. She instantly started pushing them towards it, shouting at some people behind her loudly in Greek. The attendants reappeared as they neared the carousel, holding up delicate-looking golden chains and more ribbon.
“Let’s get you in place,” Eris directed them, pushing them into a circle around the carousel. Dean could see once he was in position that the carousel didn’t actually turn, but the chains that were being hooked onto their saddles and bridles connected to a maypole in the center that would. So not only did they look ridiculous, they had to actually carry these kids around as well. Fantastic. At least they weren’t going to be impaled with those spiral poles like on a normal carousel.
Once they were clipped in place, the attendants had them do a few trial runs to make sure they wouldn’t run into each other or trip over the chains, and then there was no more time. The attendants vanished in a swirl of their dresses as a loud trumpet blast echoed over the meadow, announcing the arrival of the birthday girl and her guests. They could hear the sound of several young girls shrieking in excitement as they crested the hill and caught sight of the party laid out for them. Each was dressed like a little princess, with tiaras and cone hats and frills and lace, but the birthday girl was immediately recognizable even amongst all the others. While the other little girls were dressed like princesses, Dysnomia looked like a queen.
Dysnomia stared out at the party grounds, trailing behind the other girls, who immediately stampeded down the hill towards all the sparkly girly things Eris had set out. Several swarmed the dessert table, gobbling up the pink cupcakes and sugar hearts and sipping on sparkling apple juice. Another group ran to where Dionysus was putting on a puppet show. A third group charged straight for the carousel, which was located right in the centre of the party. Dean’s eyes widened as a line formed of giggling little girls, all of whom wanted to ride the unicorn with the sparkly horn. He choked back a whimper.
Eris had asked Chiron to man the carousel, making sure the girls formed an orderly line. The first five girls were lifted onto their backs, Dean carrying an adorable girl who looked to be no more than four. Then he remembered he was at a birthday party full of Gods, and that this little girl was probably older than the dirt, and it got a bit creepy. Still, she seemed thrilled to be there, and Dean had to be on his best behaviour if any of them wanted to be human again, so he just bit his lip and started walking when he saw Sam in front of him move.
It really wasn’t that bad, he had to grudgingly admit later. They walked around the circle slowly enough that they couldn’t get dizzy, and each ride only lasted about two minutes. A few of the girls were unpleasant to carry, kicking their heels into his sides and tugging on his hair so hard he thought he lost a few chunks, but most of the girls treated him like he was the most magical thing they had ever seen, which he found kind of hysterical considering they were Gods. After each group finished, they had a minute to rest while Chiron sorted out the next five girls, and then the process was repeated.
They worked for about two hours, before the girls were called away for cake. Although Dean hadn’t been running nor doing anything particularly strenuous, he still collapsed gratefully when Chiron unhooked them and lead them over to a tent to rest and drink some water. The God mostly left them alone, chatting quietly with Gabriel when he spoke at all, making him Dean’s favourite God ever.
“How you doing?” Sam asked him as they settled down to eat. Someone had provided a tub of apples for their lunch, which Dean was all too happy to dig into.
“Mmmm, goo’ aphle,” Dean moaned with his mouth full. Sam shot him a disgusted look, but Dean just grinned, then swallowed. “Alright, I guess,” he said, “A bit tired.”
“Me too,” Sam agreed, biting into an apple. He was forced to shuffle aside as Bobby joined them, looking absolutely haggard. “Tough time, Bobby?” Sam asked, wincing in sympathy. Bobby just glared at them both, before burying his face into the tub to eat. When Dean gave Sam a questioning look, he explained. “His last rider was a bit of a handful, and that’s putting it diplomatically.”
“At least she didn’t try to tug your wings off,” Gabriel muttered as he trotted over, Castiel right behind him. The Winchesters moved aside to give the pegasi access to the food, but they ignored it. “There are a few brats here I wouldn’t mind playing a few tricks on once I’m back to normal.”
“These are goddesses,” Castiel reminded him. Gabriel’s face soured even further.
“Well, we’re almost done, right?” Sam offered optimistically. “Just a bit longer, and then Eris’ll change us back.”
“Assuming she holds up her end of the bargain,” Dean pointed out.
“She will,” Gabriel assured them. “Eris is pretty good about keeping her word, believe it or not.”
Sam looked out through the tent flaps to where Eris was handing out cake. “Let’s hope so.”
They only got about a half hour’s rest before it was time to head back out to the carousel to get hooked up again. Dean hung his head with a resigned air, but found that he didn’t mind too much when he was put back into position and clipped in. They only had to last until the end of the party, and then they could go back to hunting, and pretend none of this ever happened. Just a bit longer.
When the girls came back, this time Dysnomia led them instead of trailing behind. She marched right up to Chiron and looked him dead in the eye. “I would like to ride the carousel,” she said simply.
“Alright,” Chiron nodded. “Do you know which pony you want?”
Dysnomia studied each of them, her appraising look lingering over each of them, before she finally pointed straight at Cas. “That one,” she insisted.
Chiron picked her up around the waist and carried her over to Cas, where she was plopped down on his back. She shifted until she was settled, straightening up to sit regally. All of the other girls were dressed like princesses, but Dysnomia looked like royalty. Cas perked up once she grabbed the ribbon that acted as the reigns, fluffing out his wings and tossing his head. Dysnomia watched him, entranced. Dean had to admit, Eris had chosen the theme of her daughter’s party well based on how fascinated Dysnomia seemed to be with them all, especially Cas. Something bitter crawled in his throat, which he told himself firmly wasn’t jealousy. Probably something wrong with the apples they had eaten for lunch.
Four others were loaded onto their backs, squealing, and then they started the round. Dean couldn’t really see how Dysnomia was enjoying herself because she and Cas were behind him, and for some reason that made him nervous. He didn’t like the reverent look Dysnomia had been giving Cas earlier.
They worked for another few hours while the party played on, carrying what felt like every single guest at least twice, if not more. Dysnomia came back twice, and each time chose to ride Cas, which made even Sam shoot worried looks over to the angel. Dean wanted to sob with relief when he finally heard Eris announce that it was time for presents, because that was the signal that this nightmare was almost over.
Once again they were brought over to the tent to rest, but this time they could see what was going on with the party, as the gift table was set much closer to the tent than the cake table had been. Dean heard Sam gasping in time with the girlish squeals every time a present was opened, but he was too fed up to care about seeing what kinds of things a goddess got for her birthday. Instead he flopped down next to Cas and leaned in close, resting their heads together. If Bobby shot them a knowing look, Dean ignored him.
“You okay?” Dean asked, eyeing Castiel’s wings which were a little ruffled after an afternoon of little hands brushing them and tugging on them. Dean wanted to hit whoever had messed them up. Demon children, the lot of them.
But Cas merely smiled at him warmly. “I’m fine,” he insisted. “I have suffered no lasting harm, and we have almost fulfilled our obligations. I will…let it slide.”
Dean beamed with pride to hear Cas using human slang properly, feeling like a dad watching his kid tying his shoes for the first time. Cas smiled back. Then, moving hesitantly as if he wasn’t certain he was overstepping his bounds, he leaned into Dean’s side, lifting a wing to wrap around Dean’s shoulders. Dean barely breathed as he soft feathers settled over his back, watching Cas carefully. Cas stared straight at him, unblinking. Dean couldn’t help but feel like this was a moment, one that could change everything. He sucked in a sharp breath as Cas’ wing tightened, drawing him closer, and he knew he had to say something.
“Cas - ” he started to speak, but he was cut off by a sudden huge collective gasp from the girls and a loud curse from Sam. Dean and Cas scrambled up and over to where Sam was slowly backing away from the opening of the tent. Sam looked at Cas, flicking back to Gabriel, looking frantic.
“I don’t want this one, mother, I want the yellow Pegasus!”
Dean felt himself go pale as Dysnomia’s voice rang out over the silence. He stared at Cas, who looked equally stunned. At the sight of the usually unflappable angel looking so upset, Dean’s protective instincts flared, hard, and he instantly pushed Cas back behind him. Sam, bless him, caught on quickly as well, stepping up to block Cas as well with his larger body, looking just as determined as Dean. Bobby joined them, flanking Cas’ side, and Gabriel flanked the other after a bit of grumbling. Together they stood, ready to fight to defend their friend.
They could hear Dysnomia stomping towards the tent, Eris trailing behind her and trying to cajole her into taking the created pony. Dysnomia threw open the flap of the tent and stopped dead at the sight of four ponies facing her down. Eris stopped right behind her, wringing her hands nervously. The other party guests had remained with the gifts, but all eyes were straining to see what would happen in the tent.
Dysnomia was only thrown off for a second by their united front, before she shook herself off and the look of indignation came back to her face. “I want the yellow Pegasus,” she told them.
“Well, you can’t have him,” Dean snapped, taking a step forward.
Dysnomia jerked, surprised. Dean wondered if anyone had ever said no to her before. However, she recovered quickly, still adamant. “I want him. It’s my birthday, give him to me.”
“He’s not yours!” Dean shouted. “You can’t just have him!”
“Why not?” Dysnomia demanded. “I want him. I always get what I want. Give him to me!”
“No!” Dean growled. “You can’t have him!”
Dysnomia looked furious now, her hair rising like hackles. “Why not?” she asked again.
“Because he’s mine!” Dean shouted.
The entire tent went silent. Dysnomia gaped at him, and Dean could feel every pair of eyes on him. His mouth shut with an audible click as he realized exactly what he had just said. He couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere but at the goddess in front of him, partially because he didn’t want to see what everyone was thinking, and partially because he knew he couldn’t afford to back down now.
“Yeah, you heard me,” he said, injecting as much bravado into his voice as he could, puffing up his chest. “So you can’t have him.”
Dysnomia opened and closed her mouth, and had the situation been any different, Dean might have felt proud for making a God speechless, but the moment was soured by the continued silence of everyone assembled. Finally Dysnomia closed her mouth, frowning in thought. She considered him for a moment, her head tilted, before her nose wrinkled.
“Well, I don’t want you,” she spat. She gave him a disapproving look, and then straightened up to her full height to look down her nose at him. “Fine. Keep him. I’d rather have the other pony then have the yellow pegasus and have to put up with you.” And with that she whirled sharply on her heel and stomped out of the tent. Eris blinked in shock, then scrambled to follow after her wilful daughter.
The air in the tent was tense for a moment more, then it was like all of the suspense melted out in one huge sigh. Dean felt his shoulders drop, and he kind of wanted to just sink to the ground in relief, but he knew he should probably deal with the whole confession thing first. God, he was too tired for this. He turned slowly, putting on a brave front, ready to face their surprise and derision.
Sam was laughing. Actually, so was Gabriel, and Bobby was shaking his head with amusement. Not a single shocked or scandalized look greeted him. Even Cas was just looking at him thoughtfully instead of judgingly like he expected.
“Dude, it’s about damn time!” Sam laughed, coming over to nudge him playfully. “We thought you were never going to admit it!”
“I swear, that was more painful than the viper venom,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “You two are ridiculous.”
“Idjits,” Bobby added.
Dean gaped at them. “What?”
It was Sam who took pity on him, shaking his head with amusement. “Dude, we’ve known for ages that you and Cas were together. We were just waiting for you to admit it.”
“Together?” Dean squeaked. The amused grin instantly dropped off of Sam’s face.
“You guys are together, already, right?” Sam asked, “Right?”
Dean was saved from answering by the timely arrival of Eris, who was looking much less frantic now that her daughter seemed to be satisfied. She sighed in relief at the sight of them, and broke into a shaky grin.
“Alright, you’ve fulfilled your end of the bargain, and to be honest I never want to see your faces again after that stunt you just pulled with Dysnomia, so let’s get you back to normal and out of my hair, okay?”
Eris didn’t even wait until they were ready, she just strode forward and blew on each of their noses, tracing a little pattern over their foreheads at the same time, and then moving onto the next person. Once she had finished with all of them, she waved a hand, already turning in a whirl of skirts to head out back to the party. They caught one last glimpse of the magical meadow, and then suddenly they were standing back in the field behind the motel where they had been that morning. They teetered for a moment, trying to get their equilibrium back, but before they could, there was a giant eruption of glitter and sparkles that enveloped each of them.
Coughing, Dean emerged from the glitter cloud, waving his hands in front of his face to clear his airways. It wasn’t until he had managed to get his breathing back to normal that he noticed he actually had hands again.
“Sweet!” he cheered, checking himself over to make sure that everything was back to the way it had been. Even his clothes were back in place, which was unusual after an experience where he changed bodies. He looked up when Sam stumbled into him, trying to rub glitter out of his eyes, completely back to normal as well.
Once the glitter had settled, the five of them made an agreement to never speak of what had happened again. Gabriel disappeared with a snap of his fingers, grumbling about his pagan family, and Bobby wandered back to his truck to head home, giving both Sam and Dean a cuff to the head as a goodbye. They waved as he disappeared down the road until next time they needed him.
Once he was gone, Sam stretched, yawning. “Wow, it’s gotten late,” he mumbled, eyeing the night sky.
“Time must have passed more slowly in the God’s meadow,” Cas started to explain, but Dean cut him off with a raised hand.
“Ah, ah, ah! We agreed not to talk about it!” Cas frowned, but let it go.
“I’m going to go see if our room has been raided yet,” Sam told them, jerking his thumb over his shoulder towards the room they’d trashed. “If it’s still ours, I’m crashing.” And then he left without waiting for them to say anything. It didn’t escape Dean’s notice that this left him and Cas alone. Sam probably thought they should talk about their feelings, the giant girl. Although Dean supposed that he couldn’t really say anything about Sam’s girlishness for a while without horrible memories being associated with it.
Dean’s attention was brought back to reality when he looked up to find Cas standing directly in front of him, blue eyes meeting his. His heart skipped a beat, and he couldn’t help but focus on Cas’ lips, which were slightly parted. He licked his own lips nervously, flushing with heat when Cas’ eyes traced the path his tongue had taken.
“You claimed me as your own,” Cas pointed out. The air seemed unnaturally still and quiet, as if the whole world was waiting to see what Dean would say.
Dean knew that he could answer one of two ways. He could lie, say that he had just said whatever it took to make Dysnomia back off. He could say that he had made it all up in the heat of the moment. He could tell Cas to forget about it, and they could go back to the way it had been before, strange lingering stares and far too gentle brushes that were few and far between. But as the silence stretched as Dean considered it, he could see the light dimming from Castiel’s eyes, and he knew the only right answer was the other one, the one that he was terrified to think about, but was what he wanted when he thought about it.
“Damn straight, you’re mine,” Dean said simply, voice gruff with forced nonchalance. He shrugged as if his world hadn’t just shifted on its axis, as if nothing had irrevocably just changed. Played it off as nothing, looking away from Cas and trying to ignore the blush on his face. “So, you know, she couldn’t have you. I woulda had to - mmmph!”
Dean was cut off by dry chapped lips pressing against his own. His eyes widened, and then slid shut of their own volition, his entire body sinking into the kiss as his hands came up to rest on Cas’ shoulders. They stayed that way, held onto the moment, for only a brief time, and then Cas stepped back just as suddenly as he had moved forward, a tiny smile growing on his face. He studied Dean’s face with wonder, as if he couldn’t believe that Dean had allowed him to do that, and then he ducked his head.
“I shall return,” he said before, with a flutter of wings, he was gone, leaving Dean standing alone in the parking lot of some cheap motel next to the Impala.
Dean remained standing still for a minute, staring unseeingly at where Cas had been, before a grin grew over his face until he was beaming. He barely resisted pumping a fist in the air as he headed back to the hotel room to see if Sam had crashed yet.
He didn’t see the small shimmering light that hovered over the hood of the Impala, growing and then bursting just like a soap bubble. Where nothing had been before were now five little toy ponies, all different colours. There were two horses, two pegasi, and a unicorn all grouped together. The unicorn and the yellow pegasus sat closest together, their noses pressed together, happy smiles on their faces.