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[sanne47]

I know that places like proanorexia abound with posts like this, but I've never actually had a chance to disucss this with a more intelligent group :)

My question is this: Boyfriends / girlfriends?  How do we deal with them?

I know that I can't eat in front of the guy I just started dating, and the whole "why aren't you eating / not want pizza" issue

Comments

[summerskisses]

For me, when i have a boyfriend, my personal rule is that i will only eat around them so as not to arouse suspicion.

So for example, if i'm meeting up with them for lunch i will only eat lunch and i will try to make it something sensible like subway or sushi.

I actually find it easier not to eat when i'm in a relationship due to being distracted and stressed out and erm, having to get naked a lot. Haha.

My calorie limit is 300-350 per day. If say i eat 600 calories in a meal i just wont eat the next day until i feel like i've properly burnt it off. I also don't beat myself up over the odd 'maintenance' day because those are quite rare.

Sigh. I look forward to having a boyfriend again. It'd be the perfect distraction for me right now.

[sanne47]

Ah, so that's the mistake I'm making :)

I think I'm doing the reverse, because there are few things more anxiety-inducing for me than eating in front of a guy I like.

But I guess the point here is that it's better to make yourself a little nervous and eat than get yourself thrown in therapy. Why is this so difficult? :(

[summerskisses]

For some reason guys LOVE girls who eat in front of them yet remain thin. Those bastards. And they like thin girls who don't have eating disorders even though one is usually required. Thinking about what guys like and what they don't like and all the contradictions makes my head spin and want to punch them out. They just want the illusion of perfection.

[sanne47]

ITA with you... they're all "You know, girls who don't eat freak me out, but if you eat more than me..." Those bastards, indeed.

For what it's worth, mine seems to like girls with, um, thighs.

But even though he's only seen me decline food once (we JUST started dating), he's already asking all the hard questions. And for some reason, all dates seem to revolve around food. Who'd have thought?!

[hxartcore]

i've told mine everything now. i kept it from him for about a year and a half and he started slowly piecing things together, and i told him the whole "story" about 6 months ago. he's not understanding, but he doesn't hate me for it. he just doesn't know why i can't "just eat" and "be healthy". then again, i think if i didn't have him i'd never eat, because that's how it was before him. i get guilted into eating with him, make him feel better. i lie to him, and it makes me feel like shit.

[sanne47]

It's hard for me to imagine that mine-- being the ridiculously solictious guy he is-- would be able to do anything other than alert therapists/ doctors/ counselors/ parents/ all of the above.

I would tell him if that weren't the case, but... it is.

I'm not sure which is worse.

[sanne47]

ETA: I love your icon.

[hxartcore]

i'm glad mine hasn't gotten to that "i'm really worried" stage yet, because i think he is close to telling my mom. she asked him a few days ago if i did have an eating disorder and he told her he didn't know, probably only because i was giving him an evil glare behind her back. ;x

[madeofsequins]

my boyfriend knows. everything. right down to visiting me 3x/week when i was IP this summer.

[ocean_soul]

i flat out told my boyfriend i had an eating disorder (and bpd) before we starting dating. i was more trying to drive him away, but i guess that didn't work since we live together now. :p

living with someone (at least for me) is REALLY hard when you have disordered eating.

[the_fragile_eg]

my boyfriend and I live together too- it's very very hard concerning my disorder, but I imagine it's harder for him because he's faced with my destructive habits, but can't stop them. I feel for him, you know?

[3pidemic]

Mine doesn't now about the eatin disorder exactly, but he knows I have a lot of food issues, anxieties, and that I'm just really damn picky. Most of this came up when we started going over to his grandmother's for dinner a lot and his family is one that prides itself on it's family meals and gets upset/offended when you don't eat everything that's cooked. I'm moving in with him in December, so he'll probably find out sooner or later, but we work out together a lot, so I can (hopefully) pawn off weightloss on that.