Relative Time

[ieuleron]

I'm 35 years old and in the long term, I'd like to have kids.   I'm single and it is somewhat difficult for a single guy to have kids.   Girls my age are already running up against the clock with respect to having kids and even if I met 'the girl' today, it would be a few years before having kids with her would be an option.   This leads to the

Comments

[rabbitucker]

So ask her out.

[ieuleron]

My hearing issues somewhat preclude the standard bar/club/movie dating concepts. However, the next hang-out time has been arranged.

[beg_jon13]

I remember when this same thing happened with me. It was a few months before I met Chrissy. I was working directly with a co-worker a fair bit younger than me quite often (she was 23 at the time as well) and found myself, not necessarily attracted to her per se, but realizing that she was a mature enough person at age 23 that I could see myself being able to truly relate to somebody 7 years younger than me for the first time ever. I remember for a long time only being attracted to women who were within 0-3 years older or younger and wouldn't even consider dating somebody younger or older than that window. This, coupled with a new-found awareness & acceptance as I went through my separation/divorce from Kristin that I really DO want children I just hadn't wanted her to be the mother of any child I have dramatically opened me up to about 5 years worth of women I would have closed myself off to in my mid or late twenties

[ieuleron]

The maturity issue is a really big thing. Some girls my age don't seem mature enough, while others much younger do.

Convergence would be an awesome thing to do.

[beg_jon13]

I know just what you mean. Maybe it's a generational thing. I don't know.

[stalk_her]

We should just have a kid together. I'm having baby fever because I'm scared there's not much time left for me.

[ieuleron]

Even if it isn't as obvious, because males don't have menopause/etc, the age of the father is as significant as the age of the mother when it comes to the health of the baby.

I was under the impression you'd found yourself a really cool guy..?

[stalk_her]

He says he doesn't have a strong biological clock to have babies right now. Maybe in a few years. Can you imagine how annoyed that makes me feel. I can't wait a few years.

[ieuleron]

Also, aside from that sounding like the start of a corny RomCom... well, lets just say I would have to spend some time thinking about that.

[litch]

Are you familiar with the half your age plus seven rule?

I think any arbitrary rule is just silly. Maturity matters, but I have found that the bigger issue is shared cultural experiences. For me someone has to know and appreciate Pink Floyd for me to even begin to take them seriously. If their childhood was defined by kim possible and the suite life of zach and cody I doubt very much we are going to have enough overlap to matter.

[ieuleron]

I was not conscious of the [A/2+7] rule. The rule seems to imply an age of consent of 14, as that is the identity-point for the equation, which is a bit young... and it is built on the notion that it matters what other people think about your life. (Which I agree with to a lesser degree than adherence to the rule would suggest.)

Shared cultural experience can be a really big thing. My last gf had very strong preference for traditional things, unless she stood to gain from something non-traditional. (She was not amused when I showed up for a date with a shiny pink button-up shirt under my suit top. (It was to match her dress.)) Most of those things were very specific details of the sub-culture in which she grew up with. I was accepting of her cultural experiences, but she saw no need to pay attention to mine (beyond laughing at how silly they were). It didn't work out