[email to jsfuchizaki@gmail.com]
Jane,
He didn't do anything. I was overreacting. Sometimes, it's difficult for me when he's not doing so well. But he didn't do anything. His Calling is just being rather difficult right now, and I swear it eats at my brain. It's just the usual -- trouble sleeping, trouble eating. He just -- it's been a while since he's let himself actually take a break and I'm not sure when he's going to next. But he didn't do anything. He's not doing anything. Just. Not really taking care of himself, but that's nothing new.
It seems like we're all self-sabotaging, huh? You know you need to stay on your meds, Jane. I don't know where I'd be without you. I can't afford to lose you, and I love you so much. You know that, right? I love you.
Take care of yourself and that's enough for me. You don't need to stand by me or anything. Just take care of yourself. Please.
And don't be scared for me. I can take care of myself. Things aren't that bad. I graduated with a BS in Psychology and while I think the family's a bit upset with me over my choice of schools, things are doing okay on that front.
But it's not his fault. You remember the Conrad explosion, right? That wasn't his fault. That's why -- that's why things are so hard right now. I'd be able to handle this, if I could handle myself. I need to learn to cope better because he needs me.
As for Justin... social services was going to take him away because after the Conrad. After the Conrad things got really bad. I was. Under it and you know how those things can be. Claustrophobia's a tough one sometimes! And then my boyfriend didn't understand that I needed some time to cope and things just went all to hell.
They put me back on my drugs and I don't know where Justin is. They won't tell me where my son is. I told them I don't need the drugs, but they say if I don't take them, I won't ever be able to get him back. It's not my fault. I'm not actually mentally ill, it's just some problems with my Calling. I hope they'll give him back. I miss my baby boy. He was the only thing I had left to live for, you know?
I'd call, but it's hard to talk. Kaden doesn't like it when I'm on the phone around him, so it's easier to type up emails. Thank you, though. It means a lot.
I love you, even if it's been too long since we've seen each other. I guess with the hospital visit, you're not going to be able to make it up to Chicago for a bit, and Kaden's work keeps him here, so I'll just have to keep you in my heart, rather than in person.
And don't be sorry. I'm sorry for sending that email. I'd had too much to drink and it had been a bad day. But I promise -- things are good here. Kaden's doing fine and I just have a little stress left over from the accident. None of it's a big deal, so don't worry about it and don't be sorry.
I love you too. So much.
Lily
He didn't do anything. I was overreacting. Sometimes, it's difficult for me when he's not doing so well. But he didn't do anything. His Calling is just being rather difficult right now, and I swear it eats at my brain. It's just the usual -- trouble sleeping, trouble eating. He just -- it's been a while since he's let himself actually take a break and I'm not sure when he's going to next. But he didn't do anything. He's not doing anything. Just. Not really taking care of himself, but that's nothing new.
It seems like we're all self-sabotaging, huh? You know you need to stay on your meds, Jane. I don't know where I'd be without you. I can't afford to lose you, and I love you so much. You know that, right? I love you.
Take care of yourself and that's enough for me. You don't need to stand by me or anything. Just take care of yourself. Please.
And don't be scared for me. I can take care of myself. Things aren't that bad. I graduated with a BS in Psychology and while I think the family's a bit upset with me over my choice of schools, things are doing okay on that front.
But it's not his fault. You remember the Conrad explosion, right? That wasn't his fault. That's why -- that's why things are so hard right now. I'd be able to handle this, if I could handle myself. I need to learn to cope better because he needs me.
As for Justin... social services was going to take him away because after the Conrad. After the Conrad things got really bad. I was. Under it and you know how those things can be. Claustrophobia's a tough one sometimes! And then my boyfriend didn't understand that I needed some time to cope and things just went all to hell.
They put me back on my drugs and I don't know where Justin is. They won't tell me where my son is. I told them I don't need the drugs, but they say if I don't take them, I won't ever be able to get him back. It's not my fault. I'm not actually mentally ill, it's just some problems with my Calling. I hope they'll give him back. I miss my baby boy. He was the only thing I had left to live for, you know?
I'd call, but it's hard to talk. Kaden doesn't like it when I'm on the phone around him, so it's easier to type up emails. Thank you, though. It means a lot.
I love you, even if it's been too long since we've seen each other. I guess with the hospital visit, you're not going to be able to make it up to Chicago for a bit, and Kaden's work keeps him here, so I'll just have to keep you in my heart, rather than in person.
And don't be sorry. I'm sorry for sending that email. I'd had too much to drink and it had been a bad day. But I promise -- things are good here. Kaden's doing fine and I just have a little stress left over from the accident. None of it's a big deal, so don't worry about it and don't be sorry.
I love you too. So much.
Lily