The darkest Shadow (3/5)
Oh god, I love Sound Duel 2. Simply for being awesome and having all the Dark Signer tracks. I also love the “ The Dark Knight”-OST very, very much. Because otherwise I would seriously lack the music to write this sort of fic. Though currently I’m debating a bit if this still counts as Dark!fic (because I really start to think of it as very, very twisted fluff… for reasons that might become obvious in this chapter |D).
Anyway, I don’t quite know how to feel about this chapter since I know that a lot of it was inspired by immicolia’s Burn-it-down-verse. So lots of credit to that even if all I’ve ever done is lurking, because I’m a goddamn idiot that can’t kick herself into commenting and fangirling over it.
So yeah, and now that I’ll just stop angsting and leave whoever is reading this to enjoy.
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's
Characters: Kiryu, Crow
Genre: Angst/Suspense
Rating: M
Warnings: AU, Dark!fic, sorta Characterdeath all around |D, (and what do you call when the dead guys hit on each other anyway?)
Summary: Multichap - And for a second a part of Kiryu despaired and wished things could have gone different. He couldn’t let go of his bonds, not when there was still one Last Duel to be fought.
Chapters: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Epilogue
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s. Italic text in the beginning isn’t mine either, it belongs to Matthew Stover and I’m only borrowing.
--- The darkest Shadow ---
--- Part 03: Crow ---
The dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those seeds to sprout.
The rain will come, and the seeds will sprout, for the dark is the soil in which they grow, and it is the clouds above them, and it waits behind the star that gives them light.
Crow swore violently, panting, running, turning just for a second to see that dark, sinister fog swamp over the land behind him, claiming the ground beneath it, closing onto him with every second. And somewhere in the back of his mind he admitted, hadn’t that establishment-clown warned him merely seconds before, this strange fog would have already swallowed him as well.
Finally, finally he reached Black Bird; the bike was his best bet for survival. He jumped into the seat, pushing the dueldisk back into place with far more force than he usually would have done, racing down the street just seconds later, putting a little bit more space between himself and that dark mist.
He kept throwing glances backwards, seeing the fog slowly, steadily covering the land, surrounding everything in its clutches with deep darkness. From afar, he started to hear the people scream in panic and fear, creating a morbid chorus as they were turned into dust. Leaning further forwards he pushed the throttle, anything to make to escape this goddamn mist, anything - he’d be damned, if he died in this place just like this!
Yet with every second the fog caught up more and more to him, he was well aware of that, was feeling panic and despair rising. And then he caught sight of the refrigerator, perhaps the only chance for him to escape the fog, desperate but still a chance. He jumped onto the break, sliding Black Bird into full stop, stumbling off the bike, towards the refrigerator, but then tripped over his own two feet in his panic, hitting the ground hard.
He tried to scramble back to his feet, tried to reach safety, but just as he touched the refrigerators frame, the dark mist swamped over him, warping itself around him and he could feel its pull on his very soul.
He collapsed to the ground, all strength leaving his limbs, his body, as he tried to draw in air, tried to fight off the darkness’s hold. But instead of breathing, he chocked, a gargled cry escaping him as he still fought the dark mist for air.
He felt he felt himself suffocating, felt the black fog chocking him, it felt like long, slim and cold fingers pressing against his throat. He tried to cling to what life was still in his body, tried to breath yet couldn’t and somewhere in the back of his mind he cursed, as creative and foul as he was still able to. Not that it helped him any.
And as he felt his body shut down; so slow that he almost thought it was torturing on purpose; he realised badly that this wasn’t the way he wanted to die (if he had to die, at least he wanted to go down fighting!). Clinging to his life, he starred ahead, his eyes dark and clouded and almost dead.
His sight became blurred and with every second passing more black spots danced before his eyes. And when his vision went black and his body cramped a last time in it’s need for oxygen, only one thought remained.
“I don’t want to die…, I don’t wanna die…, Idontwannadiedon’twannadiedon’twannadie…”
Because he, the awesome Crow-the-Bullet-sama, was not supposed die withering in the garbage while being suffocated by some stupid black smoke. He refused to.
----
He was cold.
Cold and lonely and numb and he still felt as if something was warping around him, was pulling at his very core. This wasn’t how he had imagined his trip into the B.A.D. to go. Granted, of course he hadn’t put much thought into it as a whole, hadn’t thought much beyond challenging the figures that called themselves Dark Signer and perhaps punching some sense into Kiryu and making him talk about just what the hell had happened to Yusei (because Crow refused to give up, refused to declare Yusei dead - her wouldn’t, couldn’t believe that, not until he had seen a body).
He hadn’t questioned his ability to beat them - his skills as duelist had always been equal to that of Yusei, Jack or Kiryu. So even though he didn’t have some glowing mark burning on his forearm, did that really matter?
But considering how he’d just been caught by this goddamned fog, it seemed to matter quite a bit after all. And he couldn’t curse - couldn’t hate - that fact fate had presented enough (because back when it had been just the four of them, just him and Yusei and Jack and Kiryu, back when the had been Team Satisfaction, they had been equal. Equal in skill, equal in importance and that he was supposed to be the outsider now hurt way more than Crow cared to admit).
He really hated it, this whole supposed war that he didn’t understand (but that threatened his kids, his family regardless), Yusei’s sudden disappearance after his loss, Jack’s uncaring ways that had made him leave the moment after seeing Yusei fall instead of staying and fight just like he should have, Kiryu’s insane ways, that had ruined everything back then and had done so now too…
Crow wouldn’t remember the most of what had happened. He would only vaguely recall what the slick, dark voice in his head had whispered and promised or the way it had warped around his soul, ice cold and tight, keeping him from thinking, from moving. All he know was that all of sudden he was back on the pavement, screaming so loud that his ears were ringing. The world around him was spinning and he clung to the ground as he tried to make sense of everything, breathing deeply out of reflex and suddenly chocking due the same.
He traced his throat with his fingers, panic rising so very quick - the memory of just a few moments before, of the fog, still so terribly close to the surface - and when he touched it he shivered; his fingers felt unnaturally cold against it for some reason. Steadily he calmed down, his breath returning to normal, but something felt wrong and he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, not until he tried to feel for his pulse.
Because only then he noticed that his heart wasn’t beating anymore.
He scrambled onto his knees, shaking his head, not sure what was going on, not sure with he wanted to know and terribly crept when all of sudden he seemed to hear a quiet, amused whisper in the back of his mind, telling him that everything was just fine as it was.
And when he turned his head to see his reflection in one of the shop windows, he froze as he saw the once bright yellow marker now coloured bloody red and his eyes so dark and lifeless, as if they weren’t his but the eyes of death itself (and he shivered as the whisper in the back of his head hummed and soaked itself in his fear and hate and despair, found it delightful and made no secret out of that).
Still shaky he climbed on his feet, struggling within over what had happened to him in the last… hours? Days? Minutes? Crow had no idea. But he knew, felt deep within that a part of him known exactly what had happened, already accepted it and almost seemed to enjoy it for some reason, but the rest of him was just frozen in shock and fear. (This just couldn’t be… he couldn’t be… he couldn’t have… and yet he was).
Slowly he started to regain his wit, calmly thinking, trying to figure out what to do next. Because there was no denying anymore… He was Dark Signer and if Yusei as right then soon enough he would have to fight one of those Signers. He had become the very thing that endangered his kids and everyone else. The very thing he had wanted to fight against. The best he could do was to seek out Jack and perhaps to try to lose that duel on…
Before he could even finish the thought, the presence in his head began to shriek, a terrible high-pitched noise only he could hear. He fell to his knees, his world sent spinning again - far worse than the last time and suddenly there was a hand on his shoulders, holding him stable, and he sensed an almost soothing presence, as dark as his own, that made his skin tingle slightly in familiarity.
And then he looked up and saw Kiryu smirking down at him, relaxed and easy and if not for his appearance, Crow could have sworn he was back in their hide out three years ago. Immediately he felt hate and anger rising up at him, how dare he to just stand there, to look as if nothing had happened between them, as if… how dare he! A moment later he was already darting forward, ignoring all pain and his pounding head, putting all strength into tackling Kiryu to the ground and keeping him pinned there, pulling back his fist to punch him into the face over and over again, his mind clouded by anger and hate and confusion.
When he awoke from his fit of blind rage, he was sitting on the older mans chest, panting heavily. He closed his eyes as his anger died down a bit and when he opened them again to see Kiryu stare up at him, amused and almost unaffected by the beating he had taken, tilting his head slightly as if to say ‘Are you finished?’, he almost pulled back to punch him again (again and again until that arrogant smirk disappeared from his face, the smirk that had both forged and shattered (him) them). However before he could even fully consider that thought, Kiryu’s fingers had already closed around his wrists, firmly keeping his hands in place.
Crow starred down at him, angry and hating him and somehow not really wanting to feel either. He tugged on his hands, readying himself to struggle with Kiryu over control, but then his eyes met that of the other’s (the gaze thoughtful and almost soft and so very unlike any expression he had seen on Kiryu’s face since after they had taken over Zone M) and he stopped, waiting for Kiryu to speak up.
“It’s not going to change anything.” Kiryu said, almost soothingly. “As much as I might deserve your anger, this is not going to change. Never again. There is no going back for those, who have become one with the dark. You’ll be better off savouring your anger for those who deserves it even more.”
Yet if his words were meant to be calming, they had the very opposite effect on Crow. He kept glaring angrily, twisting his arms to free himself from Kiryu’s grip, hissing: “And just who do you think you are to decide that. Fuck off, Kiryu.”
To his surprise Kiryu indeed let go and a moment later he had scrambled off the other, rubbing his wrists as he crouched on the ground like a cornered animal, ready to strike out at anything that moved. Kiryu, ignoring any signs of possible danger, just pulled himself up into sitting position.
“Don’t be like that, Crow.” He said, shaking his head slightly as if amused and a bit disappointed. “Aren’t we nakama?”
Crow just snort at that, tensing, already considering to attack his ex-leader again. “That’s rich coming from you.”
Kiryu frowned back at him, all amusement lost as he narrowed his eyes. “All I’ve done was always for the best of the team, Crow. Always.”
Crow just shook his head; Kiryu really hadn’t changed from back then, not one bit. He still disguised his selfish desires as selfless, saying that he was acting for them and not for himself. Still trying to force something together that didn’t exist anymore (that couldn’t exist anymore as long as Yusei was gone and that hatred between them) for his own sake.
Kiryu had never realised that all they had ever wanted was for him to be happy and with them. He had never realised that distancing themselves from him and the team had hurt all three of them, but that they had done it regardless so that he could understand that he was in the wrong. So that they could return in that precise moment to show him that despite all the mistakes, they would never stop seeing him as their leader. Only that he hadn’t stopped. And even now, years later they all had wondered privately what they could have done differently…
“You just don’t get it.” He muttered, shaking his head angrily. Talking Kiryu down had always been close to impossible. “And after what you’ve done to Yusei it’s stopped mattering anyway.”
“Oh…?” Kiryu crooked his head, trying to look as if he didn’t quite know what Crow was talking about, but there was this amused glint in his eyes, as if he knew something Crow didn’t. As if he had a trump card that he just waited to reveal. And Crow stared back, shacking while keeping himself from jumping at Kiryu and whipping that expression off his face.
Kiryu was unfazed by all of that. “Then tell me, what have I done to Yusei?”
Crow leaned forward, his face twisted in furry, hissing: “Stop playing dumb. You killed him.”
He regretted his words the moment they left his mouth. Hadn’t he sworn not to give up until he had seen his body? Hadn’t he been determined to ignore this feeling of certainty that Yusei was no longer with them, that there was no hope. He bit his lip, looking decidedly away from Kiryu, trying to push back that amused hiss in his head, that foreign voice that told him as well - Yusei was gone. Just as dead as Crow was himself, it whispered, sounding very amused because of that.
He didn’t notice how Kiryu got up until he found himself facing a slightly madly gleaming gaze, but beneath that madness he could recognise something familiar - the utter confidence and pride of the man that had once been Team Satisfaction’s leader.
Kiryu just leaned forward, his voice low: “You are right, Crow. I did kill Yusei.“
His eyes widened, but before the fury within him had yet another chance to rise, to make him attack Kiryu, the older man had his hands already on his shoulders, keeping him in pace with iron grip. Though that stopped being necessary the moment Crow had processed his next sentence. “But that doesn’t mean that he’s gone~”
Crow glared at him in disbelieve, almost about to attack again and he would have, if not for that voice inside him whispering that this was the truth. He shook his head, he didn’t even want to start to consider what the voice was and why it knew this, why it tried to nudge him even deeper into his fears and hate. He didn’t want to consider, why Yusei could be still around when Kiryu had confirmed him dead not even a minute before (because the only reason he could come up with seemed impossible; Yusei was a Signer for goodness sake).
Then he felt Kiryu tap against his forehead, an almost teasing gesture to snap him out of his thoughts.
“You are fighting this, Crow.” He whispered, sounding almost concerned. “You are fighting this fate and your instincts and you shouldn’t. You came back for a reason, you know. You wouldn’t have been retrieved if you hadn’t chosen this fate for yourself.”
Crow watched him silently. Kiryu was right of course, but damn him if he ever admitted that. Kiryu kept his gaze, fully aware of his attention. “Let me show you. The dark isn’t something that should be feared, especially not by individuals like us.”
He turned those words over and over in his head, trying to push away the by darkness tainted parts within him and the voice, trying to cling to other facts (like that Yusei was indeed somewhere out there and just might need his help. Like that he had no clue what had happened to his kids, but that he had to find out, to protect them from that darkness - even if he himself had become part of it now).
“I want to see Yusei.” He snarled in the end, glaring at Kiryu, making very clear that he would come for that and only that. That he had no desire to see whatever Kiryu had to offer.
Kiryu nodded, though there was still this knowing glint in his eyes that made Crow wary. “Of course.”
Then the older man got up, holding out his hand for Crow to take. “Are you coming then?”
Crow took another moment to stare and consider that outstretched hand. Something was wrong and after everything that had happened he knew that nothing good could come out of following Kiryu. Yet there were the parts if him that were tainted by darkness, and a tiny part of him simply remembered and longed for the old days and then there was the voice telling him to take that hand and follow, that this was right.
And after shaking his head, clearing his thoughts for a last time, he leaned forward to grab that hand and let Kiryu help him to get up.
Yes, he would check up on Yusei and then find a way to his kids. And even if everything failed, he’d surely be able to think of something. He wasn’t Crow the Bullet for nothing.
--- To be Continued ---
Anyway, I don’t quite know how to feel about this chapter since I know that a lot of it was inspired by immicolia’s Burn-it-down-verse. So lots of credit to that even if all I’ve ever done is lurking, because I’m a goddamn idiot that can’t kick herself into commenting and fangirling over it.
So yeah, and now that I’ll just stop angsting and leave whoever is reading this to enjoy.
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's
Characters: Kiryu, Crow
Genre: Angst/Suspense
Rating: M
Warnings: AU, Dark!fic, sorta Characterdeath all around |D, (and what do you call when the dead guys hit on each other anyway?)
Summary: Multichap - And for a second a part of Kiryu despaired and wished things could have gone different. He couldn’t let go of his bonds, not when there was still one Last Duel to be fought.
Chapters: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Epilogue
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s. Italic text in the beginning isn’t mine either, it belongs to Matthew Stover and I’m only borrowing.
--- The darkest Shadow ---
--- Part 03: Crow ---
The dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those seeds to sprout.
The rain will come, and the seeds will sprout, for the dark is the soil in which they grow, and it is the clouds above them, and it waits behind the star that gives them light.
Crow swore violently, panting, running, turning just for a second to see that dark, sinister fog swamp over the land behind him, claiming the ground beneath it, closing onto him with every second. And somewhere in the back of his mind he admitted, hadn’t that establishment-clown warned him merely seconds before, this strange fog would have already swallowed him as well.
Finally, finally he reached Black Bird; the bike was his best bet for survival. He jumped into the seat, pushing the dueldisk back into place with far more force than he usually would have done, racing down the street just seconds later, putting a little bit more space between himself and that dark mist.
He kept throwing glances backwards, seeing the fog slowly, steadily covering the land, surrounding everything in its clutches with deep darkness. From afar, he started to hear the people scream in panic and fear, creating a morbid chorus as they were turned into dust. Leaning further forwards he pushed the throttle, anything to make to escape this goddamn mist, anything - he’d be damned, if he died in this place just like this!
Yet with every second the fog caught up more and more to him, he was well aware of that, was feeling panic and despair rising. And then he caught sight of the refrigerator, perhaps the only chance for him to escape the fog, desperate but still a chance. He jumped onto the break, sliding Black Bird into full stop, stumbling off the bike, towards the refrigerator, but then tripped over his own two feet in his panic, hitting the ground hard.
He tried to scramble back to his feet, tried to reach safety, but just as he touched the refrigerators frame, the dark mist swamped over him, warping itself around him and he could feel its pull on his very soul.
He collapsed to the ground, all strength leaving his limbs, his body, as he tried to draw in air, tried to fight off the darkness’s hold. But instead of breathing, he chocked, a gargled cry escaping him as he still fought the dark mist for air.
He felt he felt himself suffocating, felt the black fog chocking him, it felt like long, slim and cold fingers pressing against his throat. He tried to cling to what life was still in his body, tried to breath yet couldn’t and somewhere in the back of his mind he cursed, as creative and foul as he was still able to. Not that it helped him any.
And as he felt his body shut down; so slow that he almost thought it was torturing on purpose; he realised badly that this wasn’t the way he wanted to die (if he had to die, at least he wanted to go down fighting!). Clinging to his life, he starred ahead, his eyes dark and clouded and almost dead.
His sight became blurred and with every second passing more black spots danced before his eyes. And when his vision went black and his body cramped a last time in it’s need for oxygen, only one thought remained.
“I don’t want to die…, I don’t wanna die…, Idontwannadiedon’twannadiedon’twannadie…”
Because he, the awesome Crow-the-Bullet-sama, was not supposed die withering in the garbage while being suffocated by some stupid black smoke. He refused to.
----
He was cold.
Cold and lonely and numb and he still felt as if something was warping around him, was pulling at his very core. This wasn’t how he had imagined his trip into the B.A.D. to go. Granted, of course he hadn’t put much thought into it as a whole, hadn’t thought much beyond challenging the figures that called themselves Dark Signer and perhaps punching some sense into Kiryu and making him talk about just what the hell had happened to Yusei (because Crow refused to give up, refused to declare Yusei dead - her wouldn’t, couldn’t believe that, not until he had seen a body).
He hadn’t questioned his ability to beat them - his skills as duelist had always been equal to that of Yusei, Jack or Kiryu. So even though he didn’t have some glowing mark burning on his forearm, did that really matter?
But considering how he’d just been caught by this goddamned fog, it seemed to matter quite a bit after all. And he couldn’t curse - couldn’t hate - that fact fate had presented enough (because back when it had been just the four of them, just him and Yusei and Jack and Kiryu, back when the had been Team Satisfaction, they had been equal. Equal in skill, equal in importance and that he was supposed to be the outsider now hurt way more than Crow cared to admit).
He really hated it, this whole supposed war that he didn’t understand (but that threatened his kids, his family regardless), Yusei’s sudden disappearance after his loss, Jack’s uncaring ways that had made him leave the moment after seeing Yusei fall instead of staying and fight just like he should have, Kiryu’s insane ways, that had ruined everything back then and had done so now too…
Crow wouldn’t remember the most of what had happened. He would only vaguely recall what the slick, dark voice in his head had whispered and promised or the way it had warped around his soul, ice cold and tight, keeping him from thinking, from moving. All he know was that all of sudden he was back on the pavement, screaming so loud that his ears were ringing. The world around him was spinning and he clung to the ground as he tried to make sense of everything, breathing deeply out of reflex and suddenly chocking due the same.
He traced his throat with his fingers, panic rising so very quick - the memory of just a few moments before, of the fog, still so terribly close to the surface - and when he touched it he shivered; his fingers felt unnaturally cold against it for some reason. Steadily he calmed down, his breath returning to normal, but something felt wrong and he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, not until he tried to feel for his pulse.
Because only then he noticed that his heart wasn’t beating anymore.
He scrambled onto his knees, shaking his head, not sure what was going on, not sure with he wanted to know and terribly crept when all of sudden he seemed to hear a quiet, amused whisper in the back of his mind, telling him that everything was just fine as it was.
And when he turned his head to see his reflection in one of the shop windows, he froze as he saw the once bright yellow marker now coloured bloody red and his eyes so dark and lifeless, as if they weren’t his but the eyes of death itself (and he shivered as the whisper in the back of his head hummed and soaked itself in his fear and hate and despair, found it delightful and made no secret out of that).
Still shaky he climbed on his feet, struggling within over what had happened to him in the last… hours? Days? Minutes? Crow had no idea. But he knew, felt deep within that a part of him known exactly what had happened, already accepted it and almost seemed to enjoy it for some reason, but the rest of him was just frozen in shock and fear. (This just couldn’t be… he couldn’t be… he couldn’t have… and yet he was).
Slowly he started to regain his wit, calmly thinking, trying to figure out what to do next. Because there was no denying anymore… He was Dark Signer and if Yusei as right then soon enough he would have to fight one of those Signers. He had become the very thing that endangered his kids and everyone else. The very thing he had wanted to fight against. The best he could do was to seek out Jack and perhaps to try to lose that duel on…
Before he could even finish the thought, the presence in his head began to shriek, a terrible high-pitched noise only he could hear. He fell to his knees, his world sent spinning again - far worse than the last time and suddenly there was a hand on his shoulders, holding him stable, and he sensed an almost soothing presence, as dark as his own, that made his skin tingle slightly in familiarity.
And then he looked up and saw Kiryu smirking down at him, relaxed and easy and if not for his appearance, Crow could have sworn he was back in their hide out three years ago. Immediately he felt hate and anger rising up at him, how dare he to just stand there, to look as if nothing had happened between them, as if… how dare he! A moment later he was already darting forward, ignoring all pain and his pounding head, putting all strength into tackling Kiryu to the ground and keeping him pinned there, pulling back his fist to punch him into the face over and over again, his mind clouded by anger and hate and confusion.
When he awoke from his fit of blind rage, he was sitting on the older mans chest, panting heavily. He closed his eyes as his anger died down a bit and when he opened them again to see Kiryu stare up at him, amused and almost unaffected by the beating he had taken, tilting his head slightly as if to say ‘Are you finished?’, he almost pulled back to punch him again (again and again until that arrogant smirk disappeared from his face, the smirk that had both forged and shattered (him) them). However before he could even fully consider that thought, Kiryu’s fingers had already closed around his wrists, firmly keeping his hands in place.
Crow starred down at him, angry and hating him and somehow not really wanting to feel either. He tugged on his hands, readying himself to struggle with Kiryu over control, but then his eyes met that of the other’s (the gaze thoughtful and almost soft and so very unlike any expression he had seen on Kiryu’s face since after they had taken over Zone M) and he stopped, waiting for Kiryu to speak up.
“It’s not going to change anything.” Kiryu said, almost soothingly. “As much as I might deserve your anger, this is not going to change. Never again. There is no going back for those, who have become one with the dark. You’ll be better off savouring your anger for those who deserves it even more.”
Yet if his words were meant to be calming, they had the very opposite effect on Crow. He kept glaring angrily, twisting his arms to free himself from Kiryu’s grip, hissing: “And just who do you think you are to decide that. Fuck off, Kiryu.”
To his surprise Kiryu indeed let go and a moment later he had scrambled off the other, rubbing his wrists as he crouched on the ground like a cornered animal, ready to strike out at anything that moved. Kiryu, ignoring any signs of possible danger, just pulled himself up into sitting position.
“Don’t be like that, Crow.” He said, shaking his head slightly as if amused and a bit disappointed. “Aren’t we nakama?”
Crow just snort at that, tensing, already considering to attack his ex-leader again. “That’s rich coming from you.”
Kiryu frowned back at him, all amusement lost as he narrowed his eyes. “All I’ve done was always for the best of the team, Crow. Always.”
Crow just shook his head; Kiryu really hadn’t changed from back then, not one bit. He still disguised his selfish desires as selfless, saying that he was acting for them and not for himself. Still trying to force something together that didn’t exist anymore (that couldn’t exist anymore as long as Yusei was gone and that hatred between them) for his own sake.
Kiryu had never realised that all they had ever wanted was for him to be happy and with them. He had never realised that distancing themselves from him and the team had hurt all three of them, but that they had done it regardless so that he could understand that he was in the wrong. So that they could return in that precise moment to show him that despite all the mistakes, they would never stop seeing him as their leader. Only that he hadn’t stopped. And even now, years later they all had wondered privately what they could have done differently…
“You just don’t get it.” He muttered, shaking his head angrily. Talking Kiryu down had always been close to impossible. “And after what you’ve done to Yusei it’s stopped mattering anyway.”
“Oh…?” Kiryu crooked his head, trying to look as if he didn’t quite know what Crow was talking about, but there was this amused glint in his eyes, as if he knew something Crow didn’t. As if he had a trump card that he just waited to reveal. And Crow stared back, shacking while keeping himself from jumping at Kiryu and whipping that expression off his face.
Kiryu was unfazed by all of that. “Then tell me, what have I done to Yusei?”
Crow leaned forward, his face twisted in furry, hissing: “Stop playing dumb. You killed him.”
He regretted his words the moment they left his mouth. Hadn’t he sworn not to give up until he had seen his body? Hadn’t he been determined to ignore this feeling of certainty that Yusei was no longer with them, that there was no hope. He bit his lip, looking decidedly away from Kiryu, trying to push back that amused hiss in his head, that foreign voice that told him as well - Yusei was gone. Just as dead as Crow was himself, it whispered, sounding very amused because of that.
He didn’t notice how Kiryu got up until he found himself facing a slightly madly gleaming gaze, but beneath that madness he could recognise something familiar - the utter confidence and pride of the man that had once been Team Satisfaction’s leader.
Kiryu just leaned forward, his voice low: “You are right, Crow. I did kill Yusei.“
His eyes widened, but before the fury within him had yet another chance to rise, to make him attack Kiryu, the older man had his hands already on his shoulders, keeping him in pace with iron grip. Though that stopped being necessary the moment Crow had processed his next sentence. “But that doesn’t mean that he’s gone~”
Crow glared at him in disbelieve, almost about to attack again and he would have, if not for that voice inside him whispering that this was the truth. He shook his head, he didn’t even want to start to consider what the voice was and why it knew this, why it tried to nudge him even deeper into his fears and hate. He didn’t want to consider, why Yusei could be still around when Kiryu had confirmed him dead not even a minute before (because the only reason he could come up with seemed impossible; Yusei was a Signer for goodness sake).
Then he felt Kiryu tap against his forehead, an almost teasing gesture to snap him out of his thoughts.
“You are fighting this, Crow.” He whispered, sounding almost concerned. “You are fighting this fate and your instincts and you shouldn’t. You came back for a reason, you know. You wouldn’t have been retrieved if you hadn’t chosen this fate for yourself.”
Crow watched him silently. Kiryu was right of course, but damn him if he ever admitted that. Kiryu kept his gaze, fully aware of his attention. “Let me show you. The dark isn’t something that should be feared, especially not by individuals like us.”
He turned those words over and over in his head, trying to push away the by darkness tainted parts within him and the voice, trying to cling to other facts (like that Yusei was indeed somewhere out there and just might need his help. Like that he had no clue what had happened to his kids, but that he had to find out, to protect them from that darkness - even if he himself had become part of it now).
“I want to see Yusei.” He snarled in the end, glaring at Kiryu, making very clear that he would come for that and only that. That he had no desire to see whatever Kiryu had to offer.
Kiryu nodded, though there was still this knowing glint in his eyes that made Crow wary. “Of course.”
Then the older man got up, holding out his hand for Crow to take. “Are you coming then?”
Crow took another moment to stare and consider that outstretched hand. Something was wrong and after everything that had happened he knew that nothing good could come out of following Kiryu. Yet there were the parts if him that were tainted by darkness, and a tiny part of him simply remembered and longed for the old days and then there was the voice telling him to take that hand and follow, that this was right.
And after shaking his head, clearing his thoughts for a last time, he leaned forward to grab that hand and let Kiryu help him to get up.
Yes, he would check up on Yusei and then find a way to his kids. And even if everything failed, he’d surely be able to think of something. He wasn’t Crow the Bullet for nothing.
--- To be Continued ---