In Defense of Hate

[i_llbedammned]

I'm going to sit here and ramble for a bit about something that has been bothering me a bit lately. I know this is going to seem cold and callous, but I think it needs to be said

Comments

[lil_lost_kitten]

You are so utterly correct. All emotions should be balanced, otherwise we defy the whole point of being human. Saying "You should love everyone unconditionally" is just ludicrous and will always cause more harm than good... just as saying "Everyone deserves to be hated" could be equally as devastating. It's when people start acting on these extremes of emotion and directly effecting other people's lives with their actions that the real problems start. The emotions in and of themselves, if justified by a solid rational, are fine - if not necessary - to have.

[i_llbedammned]

Yeah, it just doesn't sound as "kind" to say "All love has conditions and even good things have limitations."

[ragnarok_08]

You are so right - all emotions should be balanced, if not one is not really human.

[i_llbedammned]

People often forget the positives of negative emotions because they are much uglier.

[lusimeles]

this makes so much sense to me that i almost feel weird that you have to defend it. like, yes, negative emotions = healthy in reasonable dosages! i mean, aristotle actually considered righteous anger one of his top moral virtues.

cultural relativism is so 2008.

[i_llbedammned]

I thought so too. But people give me weird amounts of blow-back because I refuse to just make up with people that have done some fucked up things. They treat me like I'm supposed to just be happy all the time and then are puzzled about why I am angry. It builds up for a reason!

I actually didn't know that about Aristotle. Very neat!

[lusimeles]

hmm, i suppose i sort of understand both sides of that issue, as i'm quick to - not anger, precisely, but irritate, and the also quick to forgive? everything depends on the circumstances, though. if i felt absolutely convinced i were right, i'd feel super frustrated by everybody just expecting me to just brush it off for harmony's sake :(

yeah, it's from his ethics. he's very into controlled anger, though. which frankly is kinda hot.

[goddessofchaos]

Yes, you're quite right. It annoys me when people say you should love and accept everyone for who they are. We would have no morality at all if we didn't hate certain people and behaviours. I think hate and anger evolved for good reasons - we're social animals, societies need rules and the things that inspire anger and hatred are (generally speaking) the things that we need to make rules against - child abuse, rape, torture, etc. Obviously, too much hate and anger, or it being directed against the wrong things, is unhealthy, but to try and eliminate them would be to try and eliminate a big part of what makes us human, and what makes us able to live in societies.

[jenlet]

Excellent response. Entirely agree.

[i_llbedammned]

I suppose people just don't like being reminded that even their "uglier" sides have a purpose to them.

[jenlet]

To say I am supposed to love and accept them feels idiotic to me because they will never have any negative repercussions for their actions then.

YES, THANK YOU!

I lump this one along with "Let go of grudges and you'll feel better." No, I certainly do not fucking have to. There is this horrible, horrible creature I dated at the end of high school and early college. He cheated on me a lot, spread disease, threatened me with suicide or force if I ignored him, showed up coked-out on my doorstep a city away randomly, spread rumors, etc etc. The point is, he fucked me up. And I am still VERY angry about it even though this all happened to me in the late 90s. Through the grapevine, he still behaves this way. At age 35. And I ask whatever higher power out there WHY does he still exist and WHY does he still get away with hurting people?! It's not fair.

I don't have to forgive him ever. And that I am thankful for.

[i_llbedammned]

Yeah. It's one thing to not let grudges swallow you, it's another to force people to try and get along with those that have abused them. There are some people in my life that I will never forgive for what they have done. I think it is hurtful to try and force people to do so.