Sweetie, there are many times when I feel exactly the same as you. There are a lot of days when I don't see the point of my getting out of bed, because what will I achieve during the day etc, but in the end you just do it because it has to be done. All I can say to you is that in no way are you a prick - I know first-hand that being told it doesn't make you believe it in yourself, but I hope it will help in some way. I think that all but the most egotistical of people feel like they're acting stupid at a lot of points, some more than others; in the end, I think it's just you, me and everyone else ;) Also, if you're referring to what I think you are - don't worry about it. The only reason I didn't run away is because I've had experience of meeting idols before and can at least attempt to compose myself outwardly even if my insides are flailing. You may have noticed that I can't look people in the eye when talking - that's nothing to do with my eyesight; I've never been able to do it properly because I think I'm constantly talking
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thank you,you've actually made me feel a lot better. it actually wasn't the running away bit that was the problem,it was the motivation behind it and the realisation that despite not being bothered by them for a while i still have voices in my head and that's scary as fuck. i can't look people in the eye for the very same reason,i'm convinced i'm boring them/talking shit plus i'd quite like to be invisible most of the time,probably comes from a lifetime of being so incredibly visible,both because of my (now slightly lessened) width and stupidly tall height and if i look people in the eye then i become aware that they can see me and how hideous i am. this is turning into a therapy session so i shall shut up now.
your mum is clearly a comedy genius,i can see where you get it from :o) the diabetic nurse told me i should be aiming for 5 or just under,recently it's been 3.2-3.7 and it makes me feel really rank. thank god i didn't have a hypo at the nft,i think i may have actually died of embarrassment if i had.
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it actually wasn't the running away bit that was the problem,it was the motivation behind it and the realisation that despite not being bothered by them for a while i still have voices in my head and that's scary as fuck.
i can't look people in the eye for the very same reason,i'm convinced i'm boring them/talking shit plus i'd quite like to be invisible most of the time,probably comes from a lifetime of being so incredibly visible,both because of my (now slightly lessened) width and stupidly tall height and if i look people in the eye then i become aware that they can see me and how hideous i am.
this is turning into a therapy session so i shall shut up now.
your mum is clearly a comedy genius,i can see where you get it from :o)
the diabetic nurse told me i should be aiming for 5 or just under,recently it's been 3.2-3.7 and it makes me feel really rank.
thank god i didn't have a hypo at the nft,i think i may have actually died of embarrassment if i had.
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