Sweetie, there are many times when I feel exactly the same as you. There are a lot of days when I don't see the point of my getting out of bed, because what will I achieve during the day etc, but in the end you just do it because it has to be done. All I can say to you is that in no way are you a prick - I know first-hand that being told it doesn't make you believe it in yourself, but I hope it will help in some way. I think that all but the most egotistical of people feel like they're acting stupid at a lot of points, some more than others; in the end, I think it's just you, me and everyone else ;) Also, if you're referring to what I think you are - don't worry about it. The only reason I didn't run away is because I've had experience of meeting idols before and can at least attempt to compose myself outwardly even if my insides are flailing. You may have noticed that I can't look people in the eye when talking - that's nothing to do with my eyesight; I've never been able to do it properly because I think I'm constantly talking an endless stream of bullshit and don't want to see how bored and angry I must be making poeple! So I think many more people have their own foibles, more than society would believe. In a (very large and convoluted) nutshell, what I'm saying is - you're not alone, and you shouldn't have to be. *cuddle*
Seven stone lost (particularly in six months) is a fantastic achievement, one you have every right to be proud of :) My diagnosis was over eighteen months ago now and I really am a crap diabetic; eating things I shouldn't, but as I explained on Monday, I don't exactly have the greatest role model in my mum, or indeed my aunts or late grandmother (hereditary much?!). My grandma was heard once to say "I don't buy cakes!", to which my mum replied "Ah, so they just walk into the cupboards on their own, then!" (That is a thought that has amused me for ten years now.) I think getting your meds level right is always tricky in the beginning; I don't even know if what I'm on now is right, but it *feels* right (i.e. I'm not dead) so something must be good. Your sugar levels did seem a little low, although I was told by my diabetic nurse that those were figures to aim for, so maybe everyone's got a different idea!! Shall we go and set fire to their slippers?
thank you,you've actually made me feel a lot better. it actually wasn't the running away bit that was the problem,it was the motivation behind it and the realisation that despite not being bothered by them for a while i still have voices in my head and that's scary as fuck. i can't look people in the eye for the very same reason,i'm convinced i'm boring them/talking shit plus i'd quite like to be invisible most of the time,probably comes from a lifetime of being so incredibly visible,both because of my (now slightly lessened) width and stupidly tall height and if i look people in the eye then i become aware that they can see me and how hideous i am. this is turning into a therapy session so i shall shut up now.
your mum is clearly a comedy genius,i can see where you get it from :o) the diabetic nurse told me i should be aiming for 5 or just under,recently it's been 3.2-3.7 and it makes me feel really rank. thank god i didn't have a hypo at the nft,i think i may have actually died of embarrassment if i had.
Seven stone lost (particularly in six months) is a fantastic achievement, one you have every right to be proud of :) My diagnosis was over eighteen months ago now and I really am a crap diabetic; eating things I shouldn't, but as I explained on Monday, I don't exactly have the greatest role model in my mum, or indeed my aunts or late grandmother (hereditary much?!). My grandma was heard once to say "I don't buy cakes!", to which my mum replied "Ah, so they just walk into the cupboards on their own, then!" (That is a thought that has amused me for ten years now.) I think getting your meds level right is always tricky in the beginning; I don't even know if what I'm on now is right, but it *feels* right (i.e. I'm not dead) so something must be good. Your sugar levels did seem a little low, although I was told by my diabetic nurse that those were figures to aim for, so maybe everyone's got a different idea!! Shall we go and set fire to their slippers?
xxx
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it actually wasn't the running away bit that was the problem,it was the motivation behind it and the realisation that despite not being bothered by them for a while i still have voices in my head and that's scary as fuck.
i can't look people in the eye for the very same reason,i'm convinced i'm boring them/talking shit plus i'd quite like to be invisible most of the time,probably comes from a lifetime of being so incredibly visible,both because of my (now slightly lessened) width and stupidly tall height and if i look people in the eye then i become aware that they can see me and how hideous i am.
this is turning into a therapy session so i shall shut up now.
your mum is clearly a comedy genius,i can see where you get it from :o)
the diabetic nurse told me i should be aiming for 5 or just under,recently it's been 3.2-3.7 and it makes me feel really rank.
thank god i didn't have a hypo at the nft,i think i may have actually died of embarrassment if i had.
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