Struggling to Reconnect

[hunter_returns]

“You should take her out Sammy. It’s gonna take time.”

The drive had helped relax Sam like nothing else had since he’d come home. Just the Impala, the familiar rumble of the engine and his brother’s advice. Take it slow. Don’t try and forget it, because that only makes it worse. Remember to breathe. You can do this Sammy.Absently Sam rubbed at his

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[loistheintrepid]

"No - Smallville, I don't care what run around they're giving you, go back there, tell them we're not taking no for an answer. If they won't let us in, it's only a matter of time until the MPD will come around asking the same questions."

Her fingers were flying over her keyboard as she spoke, entirely oblivious to Sam's entrance until she heard his greeting. Head snapping up, her attention immediately dropped from her screen.

"Yeah, call me when it's done," she muttered into her phone, cutting the call and dropping the phone onto the counter. "Hey, you," she greeted, offering him a smile and pushing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. "Doin' okay?"

[hunter_returns]

"Still giving Clark hell," his voice is quietly fond, and he takes a deep breath to ratchet the tension out of his shoulders. Remembering Dean's advice. Breathe. Find a quiet place inside and use it to quiet the blood and fire that always seems to dog his memory.

"Yeah. 'm okay. Day by day, you know?" Sam still has good and bad days. Days when he needed to pull away, to withdraw when he knew he was becoming irrationally angry, days when the horror he experienced overwhelmed him. He had better days too, quiet, calmer days that were slowly starting to outnumber the bad.

"I.. I thought tonight, maybe we might.. go out?" He's probably more nervous now than he was the first time he'd asked Lois out on a proper, non-hunt related sort of date.

[loistheintrepid]

"Mm," she smiled, shutting her laptop to silence the constant ping of emails reaching her inbox. "He sends his best, by the way. So do Chloe and Ollie. They're glad you're back." She watched him, still unsure of how she was supposed to help him. She hated seeing him like this, flinchy and broken and somehow worse than when she'd found him in the mental hospital all that time ago.

There was a flicker of surprise in her eyes when he mentioned going out, the memory of how overwhelmed he was at the park still fresh in her mind.

"I... I mean, if you're ready for that. But we don't have to rush it, Sam, we could just... have a night in? Just you and me, rent a movie, order dinner or something?"

[hunter_returns]

He nods at the regards from her friends. They were a good bunch and Ollie had been a surprisingly good ally in the middle of the barfight that feels like it was a hundred years ago. At least they'd been there for Lois, to help when he couldn't. When he'd been lost.

A night in. God that sounds so much better. Easier. Dean had taken him to the grocery store earlier that week and he'd been forced to retreat to the car only a few minutes into the trip. He didn't want to hide, but bad things happened when he was pushed too far. Things he couldn't let loose again.

There's a DVD case on the counter half-hidden under the mail Dean had brought in and Sam shifts the envelopes over. Indiana Jones.The warm memories associated with the movie bring sudden tears to his eyes. His life Before. The one he wanted back. Lois curled up in his lap, his Halloween costume.. Sam manages a smile. "Yeah. I.. I'd like that. Staying home."