I don't know about this weekend. I think I can honestly say that it was one of the worst I've ever had. I feel heart broken, confused, sad, pissed, all at the same time. The beach cheered me up for the time being but as soon as we got in the car, it was all downhill from there...I'll want what I can never have for the rest of my life.

I took it all for granted. The good times, the best times, the times when I was happiest. I can't have that now, it all seems....something and I can't figure it out. I want to spend all my time with you and try to be happy again. You need to help me. Take away this sick feeling and never let it come back. That's all i'm asking. Please.

When I deleted her off my myspace I found it to be easy but when I think about her it's so hard. I even saw her on the way home from camping and stopped to talk to her. I even got choked up. I just hope I'll pull through and my friends will help me through it :/

On another note, camping was fucking sweet! Shot BB guns, Rode dirt bikes, other illegal ( Read more... )

On everything. Everything you do just seems intentional. Just fucking stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.

Today was good! I went to my Dad's office after school and hung out there for like an hour and a half just to spend some time with him. That's good because I'm goin off to college soon. Which is scary! I went skateboarding with Chris, Jacke, and Matt. Max was chillin then Austin rolled over. Alotta fun, old times are the best. Possibly bringin back ( Read more... )

I'm so so so so so so so scared right now and I don't know what I did. The feelings back. It's getting to the point where I always think about it coming back and I dread it. It's like I know the monsters in the closest but I don't know when It's going to jump out. I hate it.

1. I'm not gay.

2. I love you.

3. Yay it's friday.

4. I wish I could just be with you all the time.

5. I like my new glasses.

6. I'm bored at home.

7. I can't wait to go to the east coast next Saturday.

8. I wanna be on Cash Cab.

9. My family's awesome.

10. I miss you....alot.

Au Revoir!

Just get the fuck away from me. This god damn feeling needs to find a fucking hole and crawl into it. My worries have reduced in numbers but multiplied in intensity. I'm honestly almost at some sort of breaking point where I can't handle anything anymore. I think all this worry, sickness, and stress is wearing at my body and I honestly think I'm ( Read more... )

Wanting everything you can't have sucks. Then you think for a second..."Hey maybe if I try hard enough, it can happen" but no you'll always just be let down. If you can't have what you want, give up. Unless it's been 2 years then yes I understand if it's hard to give up. But I guess when your constantly reassured by everyone around you that it's ( Read more... )

I'm biffe's with Melissa again! Thats definately exciting because we had so many good times til I got a gf and couldn't hang out with Melissa cause my gf's MOM didn't like her. So gay ( Read more... )