Comments | hundun: From a Facebook discussion on the differences between mainstream Gay and Lesbian spaces

hundun

From a Facebook discussion on the differences between mainstream Gay and Lesbian spaces

Jul 17, 2011 12:30

I understand it's a generalization. That's not my point. I want to know *why* one group of lesbians is stereotypical and another isn't. What causes it?

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lesbian, queer

Comments 4

sciencequeen July 17 2011, 21:58:21 UTC

I didn't come out in any of those ways mentioned above, but I also knew from the beginning I wanted nothing to do with the "gay mainstream" just like I want nothing to do with the "straight mainstream" either. I have a very hard time finding other gay or bi girls to hang out with or possibly date because I just don't run into them in my current various counterculture groups. It's much easier to find gay men in the rave/club/fetish scene than it is for finding gay women. And furthermore as a bisexual, most of the self-declared bi women I find use it only as means to turn their boyfriends on and when it comes down to sex, they're really not interested. Because of this, most lesbians then want nothing to do with bi girls because they think we're all the same! Grrrr!! Frustrating!!

I don't think sexuality OR gender identification should be branded. It's hard enough as it is. I don't tell people that I'm bi because I hate the label and I also hate that it infers that I'm attracted to both genders. I'm not attracted to genders, I'm ( ... )

bloodykitty July 18 2011, 03:20:31 UTC

My best friend from my teens is a not particularly stereotypical gay guy. He was always super super introverted and the first time he came out to someone (in his early teens) was very unpleasant. I think coming out and finding a social network of gay people was difficult for him. He didn't have a gay friend circle until (what seemed like) a long while after he came out so he didn't participate in the gay-clique-thing ( ... )

bloodykitty July 18 2011, 03:30:44 UTC

Actually re-reading your post, it seems like you are talking about communities forming people and how to restructure them. I think my tangent came from the comment above me.

taraxoxo July 22 2011, 07:28:07 UTC

I guess everyone has their kind of space, and each person should be able to find their own happy place.

I didn't come out in any of the above environments, in fact I am still not familiar with any of them. I came out in a conservative environment, and it was very difficult. I guess some environments are more conducive to coming out than others.