Picking on Heartstrings, Again; Hum a Love Song
HAPPY TAENY'S 1727TH PAGE FIC CELEBRATION! Remember how I was like, I'm never writing in present tense again? I lied because to write this, I had to. LOL. This part is shorter than the first though, like.. almost half. I actually was hoping to finish Taking A Plunge before I posted this but Taeny's 1727th page unexpectedly caught up and yeah well >.>
Shout-out to the most loyal readers who have never failed to leave a comment every single time, no matter how short, since my ssf times:
daash, tipco, Kenneth. Thank you, thank you, thank you<3
DISCLAIMER!! : Please read the first part of this if you haven't. Picking on Heartstrings.
------------
Taeyeon's been humming a lot lately and Tiffany finds it adorable. She hopes it's because Taeyeon's happy - and hopefully, because of her.
Tiffany steals glances at the humming girl sitting next to her in the bus. It's been two months since they started dating officially. Taeyeon has been adjusting to their situation pretty well. Even though Taeyeon’s been more quiet and reserved during the first few months of knowing each other, she seems to be opening up a lot more recently. She's been more expressive; something Tiffany has never really expected her to be. She's always stealthily holding Tiffany's hand, hugging her closer -longer- and stealing quick kisses when no one's looking. They've never really gone further than lingering pecks, though. They're still taking this slow, for now, and Tiffany doesn't want to rush her. Heck, even Tiffany’s new to the whole dating a girl thing so it’s not really a disadvantage for her to go about it at their pace.
Their relationship’s only known between them and a couple of their closest friends, so they're keeping things low as well, never really showing affection in public. Tiffany's not the kind to show public display of affection anyway and she isn't even comfortable with the idea of the whole campus knowing about them. Not yet, maybe.
The bus makes a turn, making her lean slightly against Taeyeon and Tiffany doesn’t pull away, choosing to stay close to the girl who doesn’t seem to mind either. Maybe when Taeyeon's ready and when they're ready, Tiffany would want people to know that Taeyeon is hers and she's taken but for now, she feels like they're going at the right pace, for the both of them.
Tiffany feels that way, and she understands, but it never stops the wave of disappointment from washing over her when they bump into Taeyeon's friends on the street and get introduced as just "a friend". She doesn't really know why she feels like Taeyeon's ashamed of her when she completely understands why she's introduced that way. Sometimes she wonders, why Taeyeon feels the need to call her "a friend" before telling them her name when she could just say "this is Tiffany", as if they need that extra reassurance that they're nothing more. She hopes that in time, when they're ready, Taeyeon will be proud of her as Tiffany is of her.
It hasn't been that long since they started dating but Tiffany thinks she loves Taeyeon. No, scratch that. She doesn't 'think' so, she does. She's loved her even before Taeyeon's decision to date officially. It's only natural for her to fall in love when she's been interested in the girl for at least 9 months. She hasn't told her, though. Tiffany doesn't think Taeyeon's ready to hear it yet and she doesn't want to scare her away when they're finally together. It has taken her long enough to have her and she isn't going to give her a reason to leave.
She feels a tug on a sleeve and turns to find Taeyeon looking curiously at her, her humming has stopped. Taeyeon tilts her head a little and blinks. It's taking everything in Tiffany not to squeeze her cheeks and kiss her senseless, and she actually might have done so if they weren’t in a public bus. My girlfriend is adorable, Tiffany states proudly in her mind as she smiles and shakes her head. Taeyeon returns the smile and she must've noticed that they're seating way at the back with no one around them because she reaches out for Tiffany’s hand and holds it on her lap. Lacing their fingers together and holding her hand firmly, Taeyeon resumes her humming as she looks at their joined hands, seemingly amused with something.
Tiffany watches Taeyeon adjusts her hold on her hand- loosening it, tightening it again, squirming her fingers and turning them. It's almost as if she's experimenting or trying out something but Tiffany doesn't really know what’s going on in the other girl's mind. She hardly ever does, Taeyeon's always unpredictable like that.
She has no idea what Taeyeon's doing but the humming just goes on and the small smile that grazes the latter's face is enough for Tiffany not to question her, because she looks happy like that and Tiffany would do anything to make her happy.
--------
Taeyeon makes Tiffany happy, and she really wishes Taeyeon was around because it's been a really bad morning for her. Nothing seems to be going her way. First, she misses her test by waking up late. Then, she gets scolded (and somewhat humiliated) for it by her lecturer, being called irresponsible, and what not, in front of a few of her classmates; her pride has taken quite a hit from that. To make up for the test, she's given a complicated assignment to be finished by the end of the day. Obviously her lecturer can’t care less that she actually has other classes later that day.
Aside from that, she has irrationally snapped at Sooyoung and has gotten into an argument over something minor. She knows Sooyoung will probably get over it and forget all about it in an hour or two but she still feels stupid for taking it out on her. The other girl didn’t even do anything wrong, Tiffany’s just in sour mood.
Being angry at herself for everything, she bangs her head on her locker door way harder than she intended. Wincing and groaning in pain, she leaves her head leaning against the cool metal. She curses at her predicament as she feels her forehead start to throb. Letting out a heavy sigh, she straightens up and makes her way to the library to start on that assignment, skipping her classes for the rest of the day just to complete the assignment she deems Satan’s paperwork.
Fortunately, she didn't have another test for another class that day.
Unfortunately, she'll probably be skipping breakfast and possibly, lunch as well.
After two gruelling hours and only half way through the work, Tiffany drops her head carelessly onto the desk with a thud and ignores the slight ache on her forehead from the bruise she's sure to have attained earlier. She's stressed, tired, upset and annoyed. On top of everything, her hunger pangs are getting too hard to ignore. She's famished and it's making her a little dizzy. Everything's starting to take a toll on her and she takes deep breaths. It’s a bad, bad day. It’s just a bad day, she chants in her head, trying to calm herself.
She feels a hand on her shoulder and hears the chair next to her being pushed closer to her as someone sits down on it.
"Hey," calls a gentle voice.
That voice. She'd know it anywhere. Tiffany sits up, following the pull of the hand on her shoulder and wordlessly wraps her arms around her girlfriend, burying her face on the crook of her neck without letting the latter see her eyes.
"Hey," Taeyeon says again, softer this time. Her hand rubs Tiffany's back while the other cups the back of Tiffany's head, pulling her closer. "What's wrong?"
Tiffany finds herself tearing up at the gesture and everything she's been holding in just starts to overwhelm her. The gentle and caring gestures effortlessly breaks the strong front she's been holding up and the tears starts to blur her vision. She breathes in shakily and blinks hard to stop the tears from flowing. She doesn't reply, knowing that she'd probably break the moment she opens her mouth and Taeyeon seems to understand because she didn't question her anymore. Humming softly, Taeyeon strokes her hair and sways them slightly. Tiffany feels like a baby but it's comforting and she feels warm being held like that so she doesn't resist.
Taeyeon pulls away after a while and Tiffany lets her. She meets the soft gaze and closes her eyes, letting Taeyeon wipe her wet eyes gently. She feels Taeyeon fix her hair and opens her eyes only when she feels the latter bringing her fringe up to expose her forehead. Taeyeon frowns, lightly running her thumb across the sore spot.
"When did you get this?" Taeyeon asks, her eyes fixed on her forehead, and she does not sound pleased.
Tiffany winces slightly when Taeyeon presses on that spot. "Uh, just now," she answers and hopes Taeyeon wouldn't ask further, knowing that she won't be happy to know it's somewhat self-inflicted.
Thankfully, Taeyeon merely sighs. Tiffany closes her eyes again when Taeyeon leans in, and for the first time that day, she smiles when she feels a kiss on her forehead, feeling fuzzy and tingly all over.
"Clumsy," she hears Taeyeon mumble against her forehead before giving her another kiss.
Funny, she thinks, Taeyeon is never that affectionate in public, especially when they’re at risk of someone seeing them. Tiffany thinks that maybe the fact that they're alone at the back of the library helps the girl be more expressive. Maybe.
Taeyeon pulls away and grins the moment their eyes meet. "Now, there's that smile I adore," she says and Tiffany couldn't help but chuckle.
"How'd you know I was here?" Tiffany questions, remembering that she hasn’t contacted the girl since the night before.
Taeyeon shrugs. "Sooyoung texted me in the middle of my class, telling me that you need me and that I could probably find you in library, sulking."
Still feeling bad about the small argument earlier, she makes a mental note to call Sooyoung later to apologize and thank her for telling Taeyeon to find her. Just having the girl there next to her, comforts her in ways she’d never understand.
She pouts at the sulking part, causing Taeyeon to smile and squeeze her cheeks playfully. "Don't tempt me," she says and Tiffany chuckles again. "So, tell me. Bad day? It's barely past noon."
Her smile falters and she tells her everything. Taeyeon listens quietly and nods occasionally.
Taeyeon hums thoughtfully once she's done, looking at the mess on the table. "So you're not done yet?"
She sighs, shaking and lowering her head as she slumps in her chair.
"I'll tell you what," Taeyeon says after a while, "You probably haven't eaten so let's get a quick lunch and I'll help you later."
She looks at her. "Don't you have class?"
"It's okay," she replies, waving it off mindlessly. "I'll just ask my classmate for notes."
"You don't even take this subject, though...,” she states, reluctantly.
"So? I'll help find books or something," Taeyeon pauses, pondering, before adding, "I'll keep you company."
Tiffany hesitates briefly. "Okay," she says in the end, not really wanting to turn down her company in the first place.
“Alright, I’ll help you clean up. Then we can go, I’m starving.” She stands up and starts to clear the table for her.
Their lunch didn’t take more than half an hour before they’re back at the same table at the back of the library, with books open messily in front of them. It’s been over an hour before Tiffany realizes she’s almost done. She looks at the girl sitting opposite of her with the intention of thanking her for staying, but decided otherwise. Taeyeon’s nodding off, and it’s the cutest thing ever, but what made Tiffany’s heart soar is the fact that the sight reminds her so much of the first time she noticed the girl. To think about how much they’ve gone through so far to get to this point where she can call Taeyeon hers is one thing. To think about how the girl hasn’t made one complain the whole time she stayed with her in the library is another.
Taeyeon’s head nods down suddenly before jerking back up again as the drowsy girl tries to stay awake, and Tiffany sniggers. She reaches both her hands out and pats the sleepy girl’s cheeks gently, guiding her to lay her head down on the table. Taeyeon doesn’t resist, barely awake, and Tiffany fixes the girl’s hair as she dozes off the moment she laid her head down on the table. Holy shit, I really love her, she thinks as she finds herself staring at the girl for a while and notices how her heart swells in content. She smiles a little before shaking her head, trying to focus on finishing her assignment again so that they can get out of there as soon as possible.
--------
Tiffany loves the weekends because that’s usually when she gets to spend the most time with Taeyeon. Sitting in one of the diners they regularly go to, Taeyeon has been staring at her since they've seated down and placed their orders. At first, Tiffany lets her as she scans the dessert section of the menu, wondering if they'd be too full to have some ice cream but after a while it’s starts to make her feel self-conscious. Tiffany closes the menu, choosing to just decide later on and looks up to meet the scrutinizing eyes of her girlfriend.
She raises her eyebrows as she sees Taeyeon’s eyes tracing her features. “Um,” she starts, unsurely. “Taeyeon?”
“Hm?” Taeyeon hums a reply, her eyes still wandering on Tiffany’s face.
“Taeyeon,” she calls again. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Taeyeon's eyes traces back up and Tiffany's breath gets caught in her throat when she finds undeniable fondness in the latter's eyes. She hardly sees it but every time she catches it, it never fails to make her heart race. Lately, she's been catching that look in Taeyeon's eyes more often.
"Did you say something?"
Taeyeon's question snaps her back from her daze. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asks again.
Taeyeon smiles and Tiffany couldn't help but notice that lingering look in her eyes. "You're ridiculously pretty, you know?"
Surprised, she's left speechless because the sincerity in her voice, paired with those adoring eyes, isn't something she expected or used to. Feeling her cheeks grow warm, she diverts her eyes away, not really knowing how to response. She shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Maybe this is how Taeyeon feels like every time she compliments her out of the blue.
She hears Taeyeon chuckle. "Are you being shy?"
"No," she denies, refusing to look at the girl who’s trying to catch her eyes.
Thankfully the waiter arrives at their table to serve their food and Tiffany takes the time to cool herself down. The waiter seems to be taking longer than she expected but when he finally walks away, she turns only to find Taeyeon glaring daggers at waiter’s back.
She frowns a little. She has never seen such dislike in Taeyeon’s eyes before. “Why are you glaring at him like that?”
“The way he looks at you--,” she stops abruptly when her eyes meets Tiffany’s again.
Tiffany had to smile when Taeyeon’s eyes soften significantly and gradually revert back to the gentle ones she’s familiar with.
Taeyeon shakes her head and smiles back. “Nothing,” she says, picking up her fork and spoon to start eating, before adding proudly, playfully, and clear enough for Tiffany to hear, “My girl’s a head turner, that’s all.”
--------
She fights the urge to throw her phone against the wall after reading the cold short answer from Taeyeon. After she finally completed her project with her classmate the day before, Tiffany has been hoping to make up for the lost time she hasn’t been spending with the girl. Somehow, Taeyeon’s either ignoring her calls or texts, rejecting them or replying brief short answers. At first she thinks the girl might actually be busy but now, she isn’t so sure because something just feels off and she doesn’t know why Taeyeon’s acting so coldly all of the sudden.
She racks her brain, trying to think if she has done something wrong but she can think of none that she is aware of. Maybe she has been neglecting the girl a little bit for the past week because of the said project but Taeyeon had reassured her that she understands and they could just catch up after the deadline. Yet, here she is, lying on her bed in the dark, getting the cold treatment. It gives her a strong sense of déjà vu because it feels so similar to the time when Taeyeon isn’t sure about herself or them and keeps pushing Tiffany away.
It feels so similar and Tiffany feels panic slowly rising from the pit of her stomach because what if it means that Taeyeon’s questioning herself -and them- again. Maybe Taeyeon’s changing her mind because -well, actually Tiffany isn’t so sure why. To Tiffany, it feels right. Having Taeyeon be hers, feels right to her but maybe it isn’t so for Taeyeon.
A small voice tells her to give Taeyeon time and maybe the girl will talk to her when she’s ready, about whatever it is that’s happening. Tiffany misses her, a lot, but a little time and space away from her might let Taeyeon think clearer, she thinks. She’ll send her a text every once in a while, to check if there’s any changes in her replies. A couple of days tops, she figures, because any longer than that can never be good for them. She sighs, draping her arm over her eyes and tries to go to sleep with a heavy heart and that nagging worry at the back of her mind.
===
Tiffany catches sight of Taeyeon who’s taking something out of her locker. The girl has been giving Tiffany the cold shoulder for a week and Tiffany is not happy. She approaches the girl, closes the locker door, grabs her arm firmly and ignores her protests as she pulls her into the nearest girls’ restroom. Thankfully, the girl isn’t really struggling because Tiffany really didn't want to hurt her by holding onto her arm too tightly. She lets go of her once they get into the restroom and closes the door behind them. She turns to give Taeyeon a glare.
“Stay here. Don’t you dare leave,” she warns before checking if the place is empty.
She stands by the sink once she’s made sure they’re alone and turns to find Taeyeon frowning at her, still standing by the wall next to the door where she had left her. She scowls, feeling irritated by the other girl. Taeyeon has no right to be angry when she’s the one given the cold treatment without knowing what she's done. The lack or no response from the girl for the past week has thrown Tiffany into some sort of frenzy. She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say, didn't know what to think but she isn’t happy about how Taeyeon’s handling an issue when they’re in relationship- when they're supposed to be working on whatever it is together. She had thought to give the girl space for a few days, but a week is too much for her. Every single day that passes increases the panic and anxiety in her, and she just can’t take it anymore.
“What the hell, Taeyeon,” she blurts out before she could choose her words carefully; her tone comes out harsher than she intended. She’s never spoken to Taeyeon in that kind of tone before but she’s just too upset to care at the moment.
“What?” Taeyeon rebuts, her eyes defiant as she tilts her chin up a little, provoking Tiffany even more.
“You know exactly what,” Tiffany hisses, taking a few steps towards her. “What did I do?”
Taeyeon looks away, refusing to answer, and it takes everything in Tiffany to not throw a fit.
Tiffany takes a deep breath and heaves a sigh. She closes her eyes, lowers her head and palms her face. She feels her hand trembling as she tries to keep her emotions in check. Taeyeon has this effect on her. Taeyeon can make her feel so affected, so effortlessly, that Tiffany thinks she’s giving in too easily. She’s giving all of her heart, without Taeyeon’s knowledge. She’s giving her every bit of it, without Taeyeon asking for it but maybe she needs to have some guard up, maybe then she’d have some control over herself. Maybe she does need to take back part of her heart: just part of it, just so she can keep sane. She's just not sure if she wants it back.
She hears shuffling and thinks that Taeyeon’s about to leave but she’s too disappointed and upset to stop her or even lift up her head. She feels so helpless, it hurts. She waits for the sound of the door but it never came. Instead, she feels her hand being pulled away from her face before a pair of arms wrap around her neck, pulling her into an embrace. Tiffany sinks into the warmth she’s been missing so much for the past few days, her own arms going around the small waist.
“Sorry,” Taeyeon mumbles. “I was being stupid.”
"I can't have you be like that," she murmurs, against Taeyeon's shoulder. "What did I do?"
Taeyeon takes a deep breath. "Nothing," she answers.
Tiffany starts to feel upset again. "Don't tell me it's nothing when you've been ignoring me for a week," she says loosening her hold on Taeyeon.
She feels Taeyeon shake her head at her actions so she lets her arms remain around the girl's waist, loosely. Why? She isn't so sure but whatever Taeyeon wants, Tiffany wanted give it to her. I'm so freaking whipped, Tiffany thinks and lets out a soft sigh, feeling herself instantly relax into the hug as the girl in her hold snuggles against her. Why am I so weak when it comes to you?
"Someone's going walk in," she tells her.
"Let them," Taeyeon replies, surprising her a little. "It's not you," she hears Taeyeon say after a while. "I was jealous and I'm sorry. It's not you, I was being stupid."
Tiffany frowns. "Jealous?"
"Yeah." She hears her let out another sigh. "I know we've been going on a really slow pace and I can be frustrating and all, and I saw you with some girl the other day, and she was kind of touchy and... I don't know," Taeyeon pauses, burying her face against Tiffany’s neck. "I just felt really… upset, because you could probably be with someone who deserves you more than I do."
"What?!" She exclaims a little too loudly and feels Taeyeon jerk in surprise. She tightens her arms around the girl and soothes her. She lowers her voice, "Sorry, but excuse me? I mean, Taeyeon, after how long I've waited for us to-"
"I know," Taeyeon interrupts her. "I know, I was being stupid. I was angrier at myself than you... Sorry."
Tiffany shakes her head a little before leaning her head against Taeyeon's, feeling all her frustrations resolve at the weak reply. "Don't ever ignore me like that," she says. "Just talk to me next time and don't ever compare yourself with someone else. You hear me?"
She feels a small nod and Taeyeon finally lets her go. She looks at the timid girl. Weird, how Taeyeon is able to change her exterior that fast. Just minutes ago, she was being defiant and cold, and now she's like a timid, guilty-looking little pumpkin. Tiffany's just about to give her a peck to reassure her that they'd be alright and that she's no longer upset when someone walks in and interrupts her intention. Once the girl has walked into a cubicle, Taeyeon reaches out for her hand and Tiffany settles for giving her a reassuring smile instead.
Taeyeon smiles back, looking relieved. "Come on, I'll buy you dinner," she says, pulling Tiffany out of the restroom.
--------
Taeyeon's been humming a lot lately. A lot like a puppy that wags its tail, humming means she's happy. After 3 months of officially dating, Tiffany still hopes it's because she makes her happy.
They’ve been sitting on Taeyeon’s couch for almost twenty minutes, doing nothing in particular except having the other's company as they wait for their lunch to be delivered. Tiffany doesn't really like watching the television and neither did Taeyeon, and somehow they ended up sitting there and just doing nothing. To some, it might be boring or a waste of time, sitting there idly like that. They aren’t even talking but Tiffany finds it nice to have moments like this sometimes. It's like the fruit of her efforts, to have Taeyeon share a moment like that with her so comfortably.
Taeyeon looks up and catches her eyes. Those pretty brown eyes curves along beautifully and her charming chin dimple makes a reappearance as Taeyeon gives her a gentle smile; her humming continues.
She's humming a love song, Tiffany realizes. She always hums a love song, she realizes again. Right then, Tiffany feels like it's the right time. She feels like Taeyeon's ready; they're ready. She leans closer to the humming girl, gives her a lingering peck on her cheek before whispering in her ear, "I love you."
The humming stops abruptly and Tiffany watches as the smile on Taeyeon's face waver and her cheeks begin to flush. Taeyeon looks down awkwardly and for a moment Tiffany doubts that she's ready after all but then, her girlfriend raises her head and Tiffany finds her eyes twinkling.
Taeyeon smiles warmly before timidly leaning in to give Tiffany a kiss, and it isn’t just a peck she had expected as Taeyeon starts moving her lips. Every graze of their lips linger as Tiffany lets Taeyeon take the lead. Having her lips move against hers so slowly and gently like that, Tiffany felt her breath being stolen away and it almost feels as if her heart’s about to jump out of her chest. Taeyeon has never kissed her like that before.
"I love you, too," Taeyeon mumbles against her lips, as if letting Tiffany breathe in her words so they can reach directly to her heart.
Taeyeon pulls away after giving her a few more pecks, leaving Tiffany in a momentary daze. She reaches out to hold Tiffany's hand and starts to play with her fingers like she always does. She starts to hum another love song again, softly this time, as if it's only meant for Tiffany to hear it. Snapping out of her daze, Tiffany watches her steal shy glances her way, cheeks still tinged pink and a small smile grazing her lips.
Beautiful, she thinks.
She looks so beautiful like that; the shy, gentle, sweet, lovely Taeyeon. The side of her that Tiffany hopes will only be shown to her, and she can only hope that Taeyeon’s as happy as she is with her. Tiffany beams and continues watching her, feeling her heart do familiar stunts. There she goes again, she thinks fondly as Taeyeon suddenly gives the back of her hand a kiss. Her eyes catch sight of the white acoustic guitar lying idle at the corner of the room as she scoots closer to Taeyeon, letting no space be in between them and basks in the latter's warmth.
There she goes, picking on heartstrings again.
*********
That's it, hope you liked it. Have a good day/evening! :)
Shout-out to the most loyal readers who have never failed to leave a comment every single time, no matter how short, since my ssf times:
daash, tipco, Kenneth. Thank you, thank you, thank you<3
DISCLAIMER!! : Please read the first part of this if you haven't. Picking on Heartstrings.
------------
Taeyeon's been humming a lot lately and Tiffany finds it adorable. She hopes it's because Taeyeon's happy - and hopefully, because of her.
Tiffany steals glances at the humming girl sitting next to her in the bus. It's been two months since they started dating officially. Taeyeon has been adjusting to their situation pretty well. Even though Taeyeon’s been more quiet and reserved during the first few months of knowing each other, she seems to be opening up a lot more recently. She's been more expressive; something Tiffany has never really expected her to be. She's always stealthily holding Tiffany's hand, hugging her closer -longer- and stealing quick kisses when no one's looking. They've never really gone further than lingering pecks, though. They're still taking this slow, for now, and Tiffany doesn't want to rush her. Heck, even Tiffany’s new to the whole dating a girl thing so it’s not really a disadvantage for her to go about it at their pace.
Their relationship’s only known between them and a couple of their closest friends, so they're keeping things low as well, never really showing affection in public. Tiffany's not the kind to show public display of affection anyway and she isn't even comfortable with the idea of the whole campus knowing about them. Not yet, maybe.
The bus makes a turn, making her lean slightly against Taeyeon and Tiffany doesn’t pull away, choosing to stay close to the girl who doesn’t seem to mind either. Maybe when Taeyeon's ready and when they're ready, Tiffany would want people to know that Taeyeon is hers and she's taken but for now, she feels like they're going at the right pace, for the both of them.
Tiffany feels that way, and she understands, but it never stops the wave of disappointment from washing over her when they bump into Taeyeon's friends on the street and get introduced as just "a friend". She doesn't really know why she feels like Taeyeon's ashamed of her when she completely understands why she's introduced that way. Sometimes she wonders, why Taeyeon feels the need to call her "a friend" before telling them her name when she could just say "this is Tiffany", as if they need that extra reassurance that they're nothing more. She hopes that in time, when they're ready, Taeyeon will be proud of her as Tiffany is of her.
It hasn't been that long since they started dating but Tiffany thinks she loves Taeyeon. No, scratch that. She doesn't 'think' so, she does. She's loved her even before Taeyeon's decision to date officially. It's only natural for her to fall in love when she's been interested in the girl for at least 9 months. She hasn't told her, though. Tiffany doesn't think Taeyeon's ready to hear it yet and she doesn't want to scare her away when they're finally together. It has taken her long enough to have her and she isn't going to give her a reason to leave.
She feels a tug on a sleeve and turns to find Taeyeon looking curiously at her, her humming has stopped. Taeyeon tilts her head a little and blinks. It's taking everything in Tiffany not to squeeze her cheeks and kiss her senseless, and she actually might have done so if they weren’t in a public bus. My girlfriend is adorable, Tiffany states proudly in her mind as she smiles and shakes her head. Taeyeon returns the smile and she must've noticed that they're seating way at the back with no one around them because she reaches out for Tiffany’s hand and holds it on her lap. Lacing their fingers together and holding her hand firmly, Taeyeon resumes her humming as she looks at their joined hands, seemingly amused with something.
Tiffany watches Taeyeon adjusts her hold on her hand- loosening it, tightening it again, squirming her fingers and turning them. It's almost as if she's experimenting or trying out something but Tiffany doesn't really know what’s going on in the other girl's mind. She hardly ever does, Taeyeon's always unpredictable like that.
She has no idea what Taeyeon's doing but the humming just goes on and the small smile that grazes the latter's face is enough for Tiffany not to question her, because she looks happy like that and Tiffany would do anything to make her happy.
--------
Taeyeon makes Tiffany happy, and she really wishes Taeyeon was around because it's been a really bad morning for her. Nothing seems to be going her way. First, she misses her test by waking up late. Then, she gets scolded (and somewhat humiliated) for it by her lecturer, being called irresponsible, and what not, in front of a few of her classmates; her pride has taken quite a hit from that. To make up for the test, she's given a complicated assignment to be finished by the end of the day. Obviously her lecturer can’t care less that she actually has other classes later that day.
Aside from that, she has irrationally snapped at Sooyoung and has gotten into an argument over something minor. She knows Sooyoung will probably get over it and forget all about it in an hour or two but she still feels stupid for taking it out on her. The other girl didn’t even do anything wrong, Tiffany’s just in sour mood.
Being angry at herself for everything, she bangs her head on her locker door way harder than she intended. Wincing and groaning in pain, she leaves her head leaning against the cool metal. She curses at her predicament as she feels her forehead start to throb. Letting out a heavy sigh, she straightens up and makes her way to the library to start on that assignment, skipping her classes for the rest of the day just to complete the assignment she deems Satan’s paperwork.
Fortunately, she didn't have another test for another class that day.
Unfortunately, she'll probably be skipping breakfast and possibly, lunch as well.
After two gruelling hours and only half way through the work, Tiffany drops her head carelessly onto the desk with a thud and ignores the slight ache on her forehead from the bruise she's sure to have attained earlier. She's stressed, tired, upset and annoyed. On top of everything, her hunger pangs are getting too hard to ignore. She's famished and it's making her a little dizzy. Everything's starting to take a toll on her and she takes deep breaths. It’s a bad, bad day. It’s just a bad day, she chants in her head, trying to calm herself.
She feels a hand on her shoulder and hears the chair next to her being pushed closer to her as someone sits down on it.
"Hey," calls a gentle voice.
That voice. She'd know it anywhere. Tiffany sits up, following the pull of the hand on her shoulder and wordlessly wraps her arms around her girlfriend, burying her face on the crook of her neck without letting the latter see her eyes.
"Hey," Taeyeon says again, softer this time. Her hand rubs Tiffany's back while the other cups the back of Tiffany's head, pulling her closer. "What's wrong?"
Tiffany finds herself tearing up at the gesture and everything she's been holding in just starts to overwhelm her. The gentle and caring gestures effortlessly breaks the strong front she's been holding up and the tears starts to blur her vision. She breathes in shakily and blinks hard to stop the tears from flowing. She doesn't reply, knowing that she'd probably break the moment she opens her mouth and Taeyeon seems to understand because she didn't question her anymore. Humming softly, Taeyeon strokes her hair and sways them slightly. Tiffany feels like a baby but it's comforting and she feels warm being held like that so she doesn't resist.
Taeyeon pulls away after a while and Tiffany lets her. She meets the soft gaze and closes her eyes, letting Taeyeon wipe her wet eyes gently. She feels Taeyeon fix her hair and opens her eyes only when she feels the latter bringing her fringe up to expose her forehead. Taeyeon frowns, lightly running her thumb across the sore spot.
"When did you get this?" Taeyeon asks, her eyes fixed on her forehead, and she does not sound pleased.
Tiffany winces slightly when Taeyeon presses on that spot. "Uh, just now," she answers and hopes Taeyeon wouldn't ask further, knowing that she won't be happy to know it's somewhat self-inflicted.
Thankfully, Taeyeon merely sighs. Tiffany closes her eyes again when Taeyeon leans in, and for the first time that day, she smiles when she feels a kiss on her forehead, feeling fuzzy and tingly all over.
"Clumsy," she hears Taeyeon mumble against her forehead before giving her another kiss.
Funny, she thinks, Taeyeon is never that affectionate in public, especially when they’re at risk of someone seeing them. Tiffany thinks that maybe the fact that they're alone at the back of the library helps the girl be more expressive. Maybe.
Taeyeon pulls away and grins the moment their eyes meet. "Now, there's that smile I adore," she says and Tiffany couldn't help but chuckle.
"How'd you know I was here?" Tiffany questions, remembering that she hasn’t contacted the girl since the night before.
Taeyeon shrugs. "Sooyoung texted me in the middle of my class, telling me that you need me and that I could probably find you in library, sulking."
Still feeling bad about the small argument earlier, she makes a mental note to call Sooyoung later to apologize and thank her for telling Taeyeon to find her. Just having the girl there next to her, comforts her in ways she’d never understand.
She pouts at the sulking part, causing Taeyeon to smile and squeeze her cheeks playfully. "Don't tempt me," she says and Tiffany chuckles again. "So, tell me. Bad day? It's barely past noon."
Her smile falters and she tells her everything. Taeyeon listens quietly and nods occasionally.
Taeyeon hums thoughtfully once she's done, looking at the mess on the table. "So you're not done yet?"
She sighs, shaking and lowering her head as she slumps in her chair.
"I'll tell you what," Taeyeon says after a while, "You probably haven't eaten so let's get a quick lunch and I'll help you later."
She looks at her. "Don't you have class?"
"It's okay," she replies, waving it off mindlessly. "I'll just ask my classmate for notes."
"You don't even take this subject, though...,” she states, reluctantly.
"So? I'll help find books or something," Taeyeon pauses, pondering, before adding, "I'll keep you company."
Tiffany hesitates briefly. "Okay," she says in the end, not really wanting to turn down her company in the first place.
“Alright, I’ll help you clean up. Then we can go, I’m starving.” She stands up and starts to clear the table for her.
Their lunch didn’t take more than half an hour before they’re back at the same table at the back of the library, with books open messily in front of them. It’s been over an hour before Tiffany realizes she’s almost done. She looks at the girl sitting opposite of her with the intention of thanking her for staying, but decided otherwise. Taeyeon’s nodding off, and it’s the cutest thing ever, but what made Tiffany’s heart soar is the fact that the sight reminds her so much of the first time she noticed the girl. To think about how much they’ve gone through so far to get to this point where she can call Taeyeon hers is one thing. To think about how the girl hasn’t made one complain the whole time she stayed with her in the library is another.
Taeyeon’s head nods down suddenly before jerking back up again as the drowsy girl tries to stay awake, and Tiffany sniggers. She reaches both her hands out and pats the sleepy girl’s cheeks gently, guiding her to lay her head down on the table. Taeyeon doesn’t resist, barely awake, and Tiffany fixes the girl’s hair as she dozes off the moment she laid her head down on the table. Holy shit, I really love her, she thinks as she finds herself staring at the girl for a while and notices how her heart swells in content. She smiles a little before shaking her head, trying to focus on finishing her assignment again so that they can get out of there as soon as possible.
--------
Tiffany loves the weekends because that’s usually when she gets to spend the most time with Taeyeon. Sitting in one of the diners they regularly go to, Taeyeon has been staring at her since they've seated down and placed their orders. At first, Tiffany lets her as she scans the dessert section of the menu, wondering if they'd be too full to have some ice cream but after a while it’s starts to make her feel self-conscious. Tiffany closes the menu, choosing to just decide later on and looks up to meet the scrutinizing eyes of her girlfriend.
She raises her eyebrows as she sees Taeyeon’s eyes tracing her features. “Um,” she starts, unsurely. “Taeyeon?”
“Hm?” Taeyeon hums a reply, her eyes still wandering on Tiffany’s face.
“Taeyeon,” she calls again. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Taeyeon's eyes traces back up and Tiffany's breath gets caught in her throat when she finds undeniable fondness in the latter's eyes. She hardly sees it but every time she catches it, it never fails to make her heart race. Lately, she's been catching that look in Taeyeon's eyes more often.
"Did you say something?"
Taeyeon's question snaps her back from her daze. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asks again.
Taeyeon smiles and Tiffany couldn't help but notice that lingering look in her eyes. "You're ridiculously pretty, you know?"
Surprised, she's left speechless because the sincerity in her voice, paired with those adoring eyes, isn't something she expected or used to. Feeling her cheeks grow warm, she diverts her eyes away, not really knowing how to response. She shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Maybe this is how Taeyeon feels like every time she compliments her out of the blue.
She hears Taeyeon chuckle. "Are you being shy?"
"No," she denies, refusing to look at the girl who’s trying to catch her eyes.
Thankfully the waiter arrives at their table to serve their food and Tiffany takes the time to cool herself down. The waiter seems to be taking longer than she expected but when he finally walks away, she turns only to find Taeyeon glaring daggers at waiter’s back.
She frowns a little. She has never seen such dislike in Taeyeon’s eyes before. “Why are you glaring at him like that?”
“The way he looks at you--,” she stops abruptly when her eyes meets Tiffany’s again.
Tiffany had to smile when Taeyeon’s eyes soften significantly and gradually revert back to the gentle ones she’s familiar with.
Taeyeon shakes her head and smiles back. “Nothing,” she says, picking up her fork and spoon to start eating, before adding proudly, playfully, and clear enough for Tiffany to hear, “My girl’s a head turner, that’s all.”
--------
She fights the urge to throw her phone against the wall after reading the cold short answer from Taeyeon. After she finally completed her project with her classmate the day before, Tiffany has been hoping to make up for the lost time she hasn’t been spending with the girl. Somehow, Taeyeon’s either ignoring her calls or texts, rejecting them or replying brief short answers. At first she thinks the girl might actually be busy but now, she isn’t so sure because something just feels off and she doesn’t know why Taeyeon’s acting so coldly all of the sudden.
She racks her brain, trying to think if she has done something wrong but she can think of none that she is aware of. Maybe she has been neglecting the girl a little bit for the past week because of the said project but Taeyeon had reassured her that she understands and they could just catch up after the deadline. Yet, here she is, lying on her bed in the dark, getting the cold treatment. It gives her a strong sense of déjà vu because it feels so similar to the time when Taeyeon isn’t sure about herself or them and keeps pushing Tiffany away.
It feels so similar and Tiffany feels panic slowly rising from the pit of her stomach because what if it means that Taeyeon’s questioning herself -and them- again. Maybe Taeyeon’s changing her mind because -well, actually Tiffany isn’t so sure why. To Tiffany, it feels right. Having Taeyeon be hers, feels right to her but maybe it isn’t so for Taeyeon.
A small voice tells her to give Taeyeon time and maybe the girl will talk to her when she’s ready, about whatever it is that’s happening. Tiffany misses her, a lot, but a little time and space away from her might let Taeyeon think clearer, she thinks. She’ll send her a text every once in a while, to check if there’s any changes in her replies. A couple of days tops, she figures, because any longer than that can never be good for them. She sighs, draping her arm over her eyes and tries to go to sleep with a heavy heart and that nagging worry at the back of her mind.
===
Tiffany catches sight of Taeyeon who’s taking something out of her locker. The girl has been giving Tiffany the cold shoulder for a week and Tiffany is not happy. She approaches the girl, closes the locker door, grabs her arm firmly and ignores her protests as she pulls her into the nearest girls’ restroom. Thankfully, the girl isn’t really struggling because Tiffany really didn't want to hurt her by holding onto her arm too tightly. She lets go of her once they get into the restroom and closes the door behind them. She turns to give Taeyeon a glare.
“Stay here. Don’t you dare leave,” she warns before checking if the place is empty.
She stands by the sink once she’s made sure they’re alone and turns to find Taeyeon frowning at her, still standing by the wall next to the door where she had left her. She scowls, feeling irritated by the other girl. Taeyeon has no right to be angry when she’s the one given the cold treatment without knowing what she's done. The lack or no response from the girl for the past week has thrown Tiffany into some sort of frenzy. She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say, didn't know what to think but she isn’t happy about how Taeyeon’s handling an issue when they’re in relationship- when they're supposed to be working on whatever it is together. She had thought to give the girl space for a few days, but a week is too much for her. Every single day that passes increases the panic and anxiety in her, and she just can’t take it anymore.
“What the hell, Taeyeon,” she blurts out before she could choose her words carefully; her tone comes out harsher than she intended. She’s never spoken to Taeyeon in that kind of tone before but she’s just too upset to care at the moment.
“What?” Taeyeon rebuts, her eyes defiant as she tilts her chin up a little, provoking Tiffany even more.
“You know exactly what,” Tiffany hisses, taking a few steps towards her. “What did I do?”
Taeyeon looks away, refusing to answer, and it takes everything in Tiffany to not throw a fit.
Tiffany takes a deep breath and heaves a sigh. She closes her eyes, lowers her head and palms her face. She feels her hand trembling as she tries to keep her emotions in check. Taeyeon has this effect on her. Taeyeon can make her feel so affected, so effortlessly, that Tiffany thinks she’s giving in too easily. She’s giving all of her heart, without Taeyeon’s knowledge. She’s giving her every bit of it, without Taeyeon asking for it but maybe she needs to have some guard up, maybe then she’d have some control over herself. Maybe she does need to take back part of her heart: just part of it, just so she can keep sane. She's just not sure if she wants it back.
She hears shuffling and thinks that Taeyeon’s about to leave but she’s too disappointed and upset to stop her or even lift up her head. She feels so helpless, it hurts. She waits for the sound of the door but it never came. Instead, she feels her hand being pulled away from her face before a pair of arms wrap around her neck, pulling her into an embrace. Tiffany sinks into the warmth she’s been missing so much for the past few days, her own arms going around the small waist.
“Sorry,” Taeyeon mumbles. “I was being stupid.”
"I can't have you be like that," she murmurs, against Taeyeon's shoulder. "What did I do?"
Taeyeon takes a deep breath. "Nothing," she answers.
Tiffany starts to feel upset again. "Don't tell me it's nothing when you've been ignoring me for a week," she says loosening her hold on Taeyeon.
She feels Taeyeon shake her head at her actions so she lets her arms remain around the girl's waist, loosely. Why? She isn't so sure but whatever Taeyeon wants, Tiffany wanted give it to her. I'm so freaking whipped, Tiffany thinks and lets out a soft sigh, feeling herself instantly relax into the hug as the girl in her hold snuggles against her. Why am I so weak when it comes to you?
"Someone's going walk in," she tells her.
"Let them," Taeyeon replies, surprising her a little. "It's not you," she hears Taeyeon say after a while. "I was jealous and I'm sorry. It's not you, I was being stupid."
Tiffany frowns. "Jealous?"
"Yeah." She hears her let out another sigh. "I know we've been going on a really slow pace and I can be frustrating and all, and I saw you with some girl the other day, and she was kind of touchy and... I don't know," Taeyeon pauses, burying her face against Tiffany’s neck. "I just felt really… upset, because you could probably be with someone who deserves you more than I do."
"What?!" She exclaims a little too loudly and feels Taeyeon jerk in surprise. She tightens her arms around the girl and soothes her. She lowers her voice, "Sorry, but excuse me? I mean, Taeyeon, after how long I've waited for us to-"
"I know," Taeyeon interrupts her. "I know, I was being stupid. I was angrier at myself than you... Sorry."
Tiffany shakes her head a little before leaning her head against Taeyeon's, feeling all her frustrations resolve at the weak reply. "Don't ever ignore me like that," she says. "Just talk to me next time and don't ever compare yourself with someone else. You hear me?"
She feels a small nod and Taeyeon finally lets her go. She looks at the timid girl. Weird, how Taeyeon is able to change her exterior that fast. Just minutes ago, she was being defiant and cold, and now she's like a timid, guilty-looking little pumpkin. Tiffany's just about to give her a peck to reassure her that they'd be alright and that she's no longer upset when someone walks in and interrupts her intention. Once the girl has walked into a cubicle, Taeyeon reaches out for her hand and Tiffany settles for giving her a reassuring smile instead.
Taeyeon smiles back, looking relieved. "Come on, I'll buy you dinner," she says, pulling Tiffany out of the restroom.
--------
Taeyeon's been humming a lot lately. A lot like a puppy that wags its tail, humming means she's happy. After 3 months of officially dating, Tiffany still hopes it's because she makes her happy.
They’ve been sitting on Taeyeon’s couch for almost twenty minutes, doing nothing in particular except having the other's company as they wait for their lunch to be delivered. Tiffany doesn't really like watching the television and neither did Taeyeon, and somehow they ended up sitting there and just doing nothing. To some, it might be boring or a waste of time, sitting there idly like that. They aren’t even talking but Tiffany finds it nice to have moments like this sometimes. It's like the fruit of her efforts, to have Taeyeon share a moment like that with her so comfortably.
Taeyeon looks up and catches her eyes. Those pretty brown eyes curves along beautifully and her charming chin dimple makes a reappearance as Taeyeon gives her a gentle smile; her humming continues.
She's humming a love song, Tiffany realizes. She always hums a love song, she realizes again. Right then, Tiffany feels like it's the right time. She feels like Taeyeon's ready; they're ready. She leans closer to the humming girl, gives her a lingering peck on her cheek before whispering in her ear, "I love you."
The humming stops abruptly and Tiffany watches as the smile on Taeyeon's face waver and her cheeks begin to flush. Taeyeon looks down awkwardly and for a moment Tiffany doubts that she's ready after all but then, her girlfriend raises her head and Tiffany finds her eyes twinkling.
Taeyeon smiles warmly before timidly leaning in to give Tiffany a kiss, and it isn’t just a peck she had expected as Taeyeon starts moving her lips. Every graze of their lips linger as Tiffany lets Taeyeon take the lead. Having her lips move against hers so slowly and gently like that, Tiffany felt her breath being stolen away and it almost feels as if her heart’s about to jump out of her chest. Taeyeon has never kissed her like that before.
"I love you, too," Taeyeon mumbles against her lips, as if letting Tiffany breathe in her words so they can reach directly to her heart.
Taeyeon pulls away after giving her a few more pecks, leaving Tiffany in a momentary daze. She reaches out to hold Tiffany's hand and starts to play with her fingers like she always does. She starts to hum another love song again, softly this time, as if it's only meant for Tiffany to hear it. Snapping out of her daze, Tiffany watches her steal shy glances her way, cheeks still tinged pink and a small smile grazing her lips.
Beautiful, she thinks.
She looks so beautiful like that; the shy, gentle, sweet, lovely Taeyeon. The side of her that Tiffany hopes will only be shown to her, and she can only hope that Taeyeon’s as happy as she is with her. Tiffany beams and continues watching her, feeling her heart do familiar stunts. There she goes again, she thinks fondly as Taeyeon suddenly gives the back of her hand a kiss. Her eyes catch sight of the white acoustic guitar lying idle at the corner of the room as she scoots closer to Taeyeon, letting no space be in between them and basks in the latter's warmth.
There she goes, picking on heartstrings again.
*********
That's it, hope you liked it. Have a good day/evening! :)