part 3 8DDDD
This chapter was really.. really hard to write. But here it is~~~~~
Title: The Time After
Pairings: none yet
Rating: NC-17
Author: shinyasangel
Summary: Just read.
Past Part(s): Prologue | Part 1 : Only Me. | Part 2 : On Your Feet Again
-- Plans Are Slowly Changing.
I’ve got a plan to make it rich and famous,
Lucky for me, for you it’s a bitch you ain’t in,
My plans are slowly changing
Darren Hayes - Popular
Eight o’ clock found Changmin standing in front of a hotel room door, nervously fingering the keycard. He had double checked that the room number on the card and the one on the door matched five times. Shifting from foot to foot, he took a deep breath in an attempt to ready himself for what was on the other side.
Not knowing what to expect, he stuck the keycard in the slot and watched as the light turned from red to green. He gripped the doorknob with sweaty hands and opened it. Inside, the room looked relatively innocent, just like any other hotel room he’d stayed in, but for some reason it only gave him a sense of foreboding.
Hearing a toilet flush, he moved to sit on the bed, one long leg crossed over the other, waiting for Mr. Choi to come out of the bathroom. Which he did only a few moments later, the sound of a sink turning on and off before the door opened.
There was no doubt about what they would be doing when Changmin saw the older man in nothing but a bathrobe. Swallowing hard, he couldn’t help but look down at the comforter, studying the pattern intensely. He couldn’t run now. Trapped. He had managed to cage himself in.
“I knew you were an intelligent young man,” the businessman stated, a hungry look in his eyes as he moved to stand in front of the young, desperate pop star. His clammy hand rested under Changmin’s chiseled chin, tilting his face up to meet the other’s eyes. “You’ve never done this before.. have you..” The kind of line one would expect to be accompanied by a softness of tone
He had no time to respond before he was pushed harshly back against the mattress, the shorter, stockier, and heavier man clumsily moving his way on top of him. Mr. Choi removed his glasses before leaning in for a sloppy kiss, his tongue barely staying in Changmin’s mouth as his short, pudgy fingers found their way up under his dress shirt. They created a rough trail along his smooth, unblemished skin, from his hips up to his chest.
Changmin lay there, separated from this reality, from the touching, from the sloppy spit-exchange the man obviously thought was a kiss. ‘No matter what,’ kept repeating over and over in his head as he felt those pudgy fingers undoing the buttons from the collar down, slowly exposing the smooth, creamy bronze of his torso.
Chapped lips made a thick wet trail from his neck down his chest as he lay there, body limp, unresponsive. Mr. Choi must have given up on his clumsy foreplay because soon he was unfastening the younger man’s khaki’s with surprising ease and grace, slipping the smooth fabric off long slender legs. This left him in nothing but his boxers, the chill making goose bumps break out on his skin.
‘No matter what. Don’t think about it..’ Thoughts like these a desperate attempt to keep himself calm and detached. ‘He’s not touching you.. This isn’t happening..’ All he wanted to do was pretend that this wasn’t happening, that it was some nightmare he could wake himself up from at any moment. ‘This is not happening.. It’s just a bad dream. It’ll all go away. You did not submit yourself to this..’
But it was no nightmare; rough fingers slid up his thighs, tugging at the boxers and removing them even quicker than they had the pants. The older man didn’t even notice Changmin’s very non-erect manhood, instead he slid up along him, pressing his stocky, out-of-shape figure against the younger’s slim, firm one. This forced intimacy made his skin crawl, and he wanted so badly to push the clumsy old man off of him, but knew he could do no such thing. ‘Disgusting. You are so much better than this. What were you thinking? This is not worth it. God.. wake up. It’s time to wake up now. Because this is not real. Why can’t I wake up? I want to wake up!’ Knowing that he had willingly walked himself down into hell.
A condom was waiting on the pillow behind Changmin’s head, which he hadn’t noticed until the older man grabbed it, opening the package and easily slipping it over his medium-sized erection. Shrugging out of the bathrobe left the businessman very exposed. He bit his bottom lip, looking away from the unattractive image, until he suddenly felt something pressing against his unnatural entrance.
Eyes widening, his head snapped back and he looked at the man above him in petrified fear. He couldn’t pretend anymore, this was really happening. A smirk played on Mr. Choi’s chapped lips as he gripped Changmin's hips harshly before shoving deep inside of him. The lubrication provided by the condom was not nearly enough, a scream ripping through Changmin, his whole body contorting in pain as his fingers gripped at the sheets.
The nightmare erupted into reality, feeling his body rip in two. It was a pain he had never experienced before, searing, intense, and continuous. Why had he gone to the room? Was a contract worth this? Worth letting this old, clumsy fool take all he wanted from him?
His thrusts came in hard and fast, tearing delicate muscle as the younger man held back more cries. “Let me hear your vocal talent, boy,” the man sneered, giving him another sloppy kiss. The fingers gripped at his hips harder, leaving bruise marks on previously unmarred flesh. Harder, faster, and deeper, tearing him apart from the inside. Cries of pain escaping his lips as his whole body tensed, tears coming from his dull, glassy eyes.
‘You’re.. hurting me! Make it stop.. just make it stop. I can’t breathe! God..’ His thoughts were no longer with him as they dissolved into silent screams -- the young man reduced to something dead on the outside and yet suffering within.
He knew he was bleeding, as he felt something warm seeping from inside him, and it took all he had not to scream. The older man thrust into him a few more times, hard and fast, before he moaned low and deep, releasing his warm sticky seed deep inside of him. He collapsed on top of Changmin, and the younger man could hear the other’s labored breathing.
A moment or so later Mr. Choi removed himself from inside of the younger man, leaving the sticky mix of cum and blood to seep out from between his legs. Humiliation. His lower body so sore, Changmin was convinced he would never be able to move again. Bruises littered his body.
He’d created a huge gaping hole. Empty. As if even he had deserted himself. Tears ran silently down his cheeks as his body trembled helplessly.
It seemed like hours had passed before he attempted to move, every centimeter of his lower body screaming out in protest. Mr. Choi had already fallen asleep, his loud snores enough proof of that as Changmin hissed back a scream. The sticky mix had dried, making him feel dirty and tarnished.
His heart rate sped up at the feeling, the dry crud between his legs making his skin feel stiff and inhuman. A sudden panic spread through his veins, his body trembling as he felt the sudden need to be clean. He bit back a cry as he slowly raised his body into a sitting position, lower muscles twitching and burning as they moved.
Moving as fast as his exhausted body could, he stood and hurried to the hotel bathroom, tripping over a dropped shoe and falling to the floor. The jarring of his body brought tears to his eyes as he crawled into the bathroom.
‘You really did it now..’
He weakly pushed the door shut, flipping on the extremely luminescent light before sliding back down onto the floor. Sobs came without warning as he wrapped his arms around his legs, rocking back and forth violently.
‘You fucked it all up. You’re nothing. Dirt.’
Suddenly he remembered the dirt clinging to his skin. The sobs stopped and he stood, hurrying desperately to the shower. He had to get clean. Now.
‘I can be clean again.. I’m not dirty. I’m clean.’
His body was shaking, his sanity breaking down as he leapt into the cold water. The shock registered immediately, his body freezing until the water began to grow warmer.
‘I’m clean.. I’m clean..’
Grabbing the hotel soap from the side of the bathtub he began to run it over his skin, tears mixing with the water running down his face. “I’m clean.. I’m not dirty .. I’m clean..” his broken voice whispered over and over again as he began to desperately clean away where the dirt concentrated most. “I’m clean.. I’m not dirty..”
He scrubbed his skin over and over, the tears turning into sobs of desperation. Clean. He just had to be clean. The soap slipped out of his hands, hitting the ground as his fingers began to claw at his skin. Just get the dirt off.
His legs weakened as he fell forward, knees smacking hard against the cold bottom of the tub before he fell over on his side. The dirt wasn’t coming off. Why couldn’t it come off?
Sobs shook his writhing body as the water gradually grew colder and colder. His skin was like ice, his heart bleeding its way into numbness as he held his head in his hands trying so hard not to scream. The memories of only an hour ago replaying through his mind in fast motion.
Those clammy, rough hands on him. The swollen erection pounding into him, tearing him up inside. Mr. Choi’s disgusting moans, the smell of his sweat, the feel of his breath. Dirt.
The water now like ice, he weakly raised one hand to shut it off, curling up into a shivering ball on the shower floor. Changmin looked forward, eyes glassy, dead.
Title: The Time After
Pairings: none yet
Rating: NC-17
Author: shinyasangel
Summary: Just read.
Past Part(s): Prologue | Part 1 : Only Me. | Part 2 : On Your Feet Again
-- Plans Are Slowly Changing.
I’ve got a plan to make it rich and famous,
Lucky for me, for you it’s a bitch you ain’t in,
My plans are slowly changing
Darren Hayes - Popular
Eight o’ clock found Changmin standing in front of a hotel room door, nervously fingering the keycard. He had double checked that the room number on the card and the one on the door matched five times. Shifting from foot to foot, he took a deep breath in an attempt to ready himself for what was on the other side.
Not knowing what to expect, he stuck the keycard in the slot and watched as the light turned from red to green. He gripped the doorknob with sweaty hands and opened it. Inside, the room looked relatively innocent, just like any other hotel room he’d stayed in, but for some reason it only gave him a sense of foreboding.
Hearing a toilet flush, he moved to sit on the bed, one long leg crossed over the other, waiting for Mr. Choi to come out of the bathroom. Which he did only a few moments later, the sound of a sink turning on and off before the door opened.
There was no doubt about what they would be doing when Changmin saw the older man in nothing but a bathrobe. Swallowing hard, he couldn’t help but look down at the comforter, studying the pattern intensely. He couldn’t run now. Trapped. He had managed to cage himself in.
“I knew you were an intelligent young man,” the businessman stated, a hungry look in his eyes as he moved to stand in front of the young, desperate pop star. His clammy hand rested under Changmin’s chiseled chin, tilting his face up to meet the other’s eyes. “You’ve never done this before.. have you..” The kind of line one would expect to be accompanied by a softness of tone
He had no time to respond before he was pushed harshly back against the mattress, the shorter, stockier, and heavier man clumsily moving his way on top of him. Mr. Choi removed his glasses before leaning in for a sloppy kiss, his tongue barely staying in Changmin’s mouth as his short, pudgy fingers found their way up under his dress shirt. They created a rough trail along his smooth, unblemished skin, from his hips up to his chest.
Changmin lay there, separated from this reality, from the touching, from the sloppy spit-exchange the man obviously thought was a kiss. ‘No matter what,’ kept repeating over and over in his head as he felt those pudgy fingers undoing the buttons from the collar down, slowly exposing the smooth, creamy bronze of his torso.
Chapped lips made a thick wet trail from his neck down his chest as he lay there, body limp, unresponsive. Mr. Choi must have given up on his clumsy foreplay because soon he was unfastening the younger man’s khaki’s with surprising ease and grace, slipping the smooth fabric off long slender legs. This left him in nothing but his boxers, the chill making goose bumps break out on his skin.
‘No matter what. Don’t think about it..’ Thoughts like these a desperate attempt to keep himself calm and detached. ‘He’s not touching you.. This isn’t happening..’ All he wanted to do was pretend that this wasn’t happening, that it was some nightmare he could wake himself up from at any moment. ‘This is not happening.. It’s just a bad dream. It’ll all go away. You did not submit yourself to this..’
But it was no nightmare; rough fingers slid up his thighs, tugging at the boxers and removing them even quicker than they had the pants. The older man didn’t even notice Changmin’s very non-erect manhood, instead he slid up along him, pressing his stocky, out-of-shape figure against the younger’s slim, firm one. This forced intimacy made his skin crawl, and he wanted so badly to push the clumsy old man off of him, but knew he could do no such thing. ‘Disgusting. You are so much better than this. What were you thinking? This is not worth it. God.. wake up. It’s time to wake up now. Because this is not real. Why can’t I wake up? I want to wake up!’ Knowing that he had willingly walked himself down into hell.
A condom was waiting on the pillow behind Changmin’s head, which he hadn’t noticed until the older man grabbed it, opening the package and easily slipping it over his medium-sized erection. Shrugging out of the bathrobe left the businessman very exposed. He bit his bottom lip, looking away from the unattractive image, until he suddenly felt something pressing against his unnatural entrance.
Eyes widening, his head snapped back and he looked at the man above him in petrified fear. He couldn’t pretend anymore, this was really happening. A smirk played on Mr. Choi’s chapped lips as he gripped Changmin's hips harshly before shoving deep inside of him. The lubrication provided by the condom was not nearly enough, a scream ripping through Changmin, his whole body contorting in pain as his fingers gripped at the sheets.
The nightmare erupted into reality, feeling his body rip in two. It was a pain he had never experienced before, searing, intense, and continuous. Why had he gone to the room? Was a contract worth this? Worth letting this old, clumsy fool take all he wanted from him?
His thrusts came in hard and fast, tearing delicate muscle as the younger man held back more cries. “Let me hear your vocal talent, boy,” the man sneered, giving him another sloppy kiss. The fingers gripped at his hips harder, leaving bruise marks on previously unmarred flesh. Harder, faster, and deeper, tearing him apart from the inside. Cries of pain escaping his lips as his whole body tensed, tears coming from his dull, glassy eyes.
‘You’re.. hurting me! Make it stop.. just make it stop. I can’t breathe! God..’ His thoughts were no longer with him as they dissolved into silent screams -- the young man reduced to something dead on the outside and yet suffering within.
He knew he was bleeding, as he felt something warm seeping from inside him, and it took all he had not to scream. The older man thrust into him a few more times, hard and fast, before he moaned low and deep, releasing his warm sticky seed deep inside of him. He collapsed on top of Changmin, and the younger man could hear the other’s labored breathing.
A moment or so later Mr. Choi removed himself from inside of the younger man, leaving the sticky mix of cum and blood to seep out from between his legs. Humiliation. His lower body so sore, Changmin was convinced he would never be able to move again. Bruises littered his body.
He’d created a huge gaping hole. Empty. As if even he had deserted himself. Tears ran silently down his cheeks as his body trembled helplessly.
It seemed like hours had passed before he attempted to move, every centimeter of his lower body screaming out in protest. Mr. Choi had already fallen asleep, his loud snores enough proof of that as Changmin hissed back a scream. The sticky mix had dried, making him feel dirty and tarnished.
His heart rate sped up at the feeling, the dry crud between his legs making his skin feel stiff and inhuman. A sudden panic spread through his veins, his body trembling as he felt the sudden need to be clean. He bit back a cry as he slowly raised his body into a sitting position, lower muscles twitching and burning as they moved.
Moving as fast as his exhausted body could, he stood and hurried to the hotel bathroom, tripping over a dropped shoe and falling to the floor. The jarring of his body brought tears to his eyes as he crawled into the bathroom.
‘You really did it now..’
He weakly pushed the door shut, flipping on the extremely luminescent light before sliding back down onto the floor. Sobs came without warning as he wrapped his arms around his legs, rocking back and forth violently.
‘You fucked it all up. You’re nothing. Dirt.’
Suddenly he remembered the dirt clinging to his skin. The sobs stopped and he stood, hurrying desperately to the shower. He had to get clean. Now.
‘I can be clean again.. I’m not dirty. I’m clean.’
His body was shaking, his sanity breaking down as he leapt into the cold water. The shock registered immediately, his body freezing until the water began to grow warmer.
‘I’m clean.. I’m clean..’
Grabbing the hotel soap from the side of the bathtub he began to run it over his skin, tears mixing with the water running down his face. “I’m clean.. I’m not dirty .. I’m clean..” his broken voice whispered over and over again as he began to desperately clean away where the dirt concentrated most. “I’m clean.. I’m not dirty..”
He scrubbed his skin over and over, the tears turning into sobs of desperation. Clean. He just had to be clean. The soap slipped out of his hands, hitting the ground as his fingers began to claw at his skin. Just get the dirt off.
His legs weakened as he fell forward, knees smacking hard against the cold bottom of the tub before he fell over on his side. The dirt wasn’t coming off. Why couldn’t it come off?
Sobs shook his writhing body as the water gradually grew colder and colder. His skin was like ice, his heart bleeding its way into numbness as he held his head in his hands trying so hard not to scream. The memories of only an hour ago replaying through his mind in fast motion.
Those clammy, rough hands on him. The swollen erection pounding into him, tearing him up inside. Mr. Choi’s disgusting moans, the smell of his sweat, the feel of his breath. Dirt.
The water now like ice, he weakly raised one hand to shut it off, curling up into a shivering ball on the shower floor. Changmin looked forward, eyes glassy, dead.