The View From the Afternoon
Title: The View From the Afternoon
Author: Alaina L. Patterson
Summary: Brynn takes Toby to a bar to get over the Sampster.
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Author's Note: The first dialogue scene written for Creative Writing. Again, we see characters from Busted Eardrums: The Toby from A Certain Romance and The Woman of Ill Repute; and Brynn, her ditzy co-worker. Title taken from the song of the same name by the Arctic Monkeys.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblence to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is purely coincidental.
(Italics mean stage directions; Emphasized words are underlined.)
Cast of Characters
(in order of appearance)
Toby (short for Elizabeth), female, 27. An unremarkable kind of pretty. Works with Brynn. Wearing a shirt with the Green Lantern logo on it.
Brynn, 21. Works with Toby; rather ditzy.
The Dude, 25ish. An overgrown frat boy.
SETTING: A bar.
AT RISE: There is a fairly good crowd of people in the bar, but there is still one open table in the corner.
(TOBY and BRYNN enter the bar. TOBY has a look of resignation on her face; BRYNN is excited.)
TOBY
Why are we here, again, Brynn?
BRYNN
Because you dumped the Sampster three weeks ago, and it's totally time to get you back on the wagon or whatever.
TOBY
Don't call him that. And I think you mean the horse.
BRYNN
What horse?
TOBY
Never mind.
BRYNN
Who has a horse?
TOBY
Never mind.
BRYNN
Okay, okay, fine. What d'you wanna drink?
TOBY
Beer's fine.
BRYNN
What kind? They have tons here.
TOBY
Whatever you're having is fine with me.
BRYNN
'K. I'll be right back.
(She goes up to the bar to order a couple of beers. TOBY finds an empty table and sits down. She plays with a menu or whatever, muttering to herself as she waits for BRYNN to return.)
TOBY
"Go out with Brynn," Moira said; "you'll have fun," she said. Hah. The girl makes Izzie Stevens look like an actual brain surgeon; I would have more fun being forced to watch Twilight sober.
(BRYNN returns, carrying two drinks that are decidedly not beer.)
BRYNN
Ohmigod, you like Twilight too? Are you on Team Edward or Team Jacob? Because I am totally on Team Edward, and that would make us bestest friends if you were too.
TOBY
I'm on Team Just Wants It to Go Away.
(Nods to drink)
What is that?
BRYNN
Your drink.
TOBY
That's not beer.
BRYNN
Well, duh. It's a Whiskey Sour with extra cherries.
TOBY
I hate whiskey.
BRYNN
But you said -
TOBY
Never mind, it's fine, I've drank worse.
(She takes a sip and works through the gag reflex.)
So. What's the plan now? How do we have fun here?
BRYNN
Toby, are you trying to tell me that you've never been to a club before?
TOBY
I've been to plenty of bars.
BRYNN: I didn't say bars; I said club. There's a difference.
TOBY
What do you mean, 'there's a difference'? There's no difference. They both serve alcohol, they both have guys trying to mack on you -
BRYNN
First off, at a club, you're allowed to dance, whereas at a bar, you're only a drunken loser if you dance. No one wants to be a drunken loser. Secondly, don't say 'mack.' It doesn't mean what you think it means.
TOBY
Inconceivable!
BRYNN
Huh?
TOBY
Oh, God, my heart hurts now.
BRYNN
Still not quite over the Sampster, huh?
TOBY
I told you - don't call him that. [beat.] Why does everyone call him that? I never understood it. He called himself The Sampster, everyone else calls him The Sampster; I never did. Why didn't I?
BRYNN
I think you said it's because you have gramatalogical standards, and that it was stupid.
TOBY
You're right. It was stupid. I'm glad I dumped him. There should be an international rule about dating guys who call themselves "The Namester."
BRYNN
He called himself the Sampster, though.
TOBY
Right. Anyway. So. You've gotten me out of the house, almost against my will, but I think I'll try and make the most of it. Tell me: what does a girl like me do at a club?
BRYNN
Well, apparently, a girl like you is going to sit in the dark corner, drinking the Whiskey Sour you don't like, and completely ignore the cute guys who are looking at you.
TOBY
What cute guys?
BRYNN
Oh! Well, there's that guy over there, with the pockets on his shirt, and -
TOBY
Yeah, no, I see that dude; where are the cute dudes? Because I don't see any cute dudes here.
BRYNN
What are you talking about? This place is full of cute guys! You just have to open your eyes to the awesome possibilities, and stop being such a Debbie Downer!
TOBY
I am not a Debbie Downer! I just - this isn't my scene, Brynn.
BRYNN
Well, what is your scene, Toby? Because I am trying to pull you up by your bootstrings into a new relationship, here, and you're just sitting there pouting. If you'd feel better at the comic book store, I will ask Jimmy the Bartender to put your Whiskey Sour into a To-Go cup, and we can go hit on geeks drooling over the new Aquadude comic.
TOBY
Aquaman.
BRYNN
What?
TOBY
Aquaman. His name is Aquaman. And no one reads Aquaman, because Aquaman is lame.
BRYNN
Why won't you give these guys a chance? Look - there's a guy with writing on his shirt. He looks like a geek - go talk to him.
TOBY
I can't.
BRYNN
Well, why not? You're not shy. You're loud. You're so loud, you make my head hurt sometimes. Why am I the one shouting at you? This … this is weird for me, Toby, and you're not making it any easier.
TOBY
I can't talk to strange guys. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't strike up conversations with strange men.
BRYNN
You do at the store all the time.
TOBY
That's different. I'm selling them something at the store. Here, I'm not.
BRYNN
No, you are. You're selling yourself.
(Nods, proud of herself.)
See what I did there?
TOBY
Yes. Touché. But no, I - I'm not comfortable with that.
BRYNN
Toby, I have dated more men in the past six months than you have listened to that Snow Monkeys CD.
TOBY
Oh my God, do I need to take you to a doctor? Because not only have I never stopped listening to either Snow Patrol or the Arctic Monkeys in the past six months, I'm pretty sure there's no such band as the Snow Monkeys, and now I'm worried you may have brain cancer.
BRYNN
What I'm trying to say is, maybe you should trust me. I know we're not really friends or whatever, and that technically I work for you, and yeah, maybe I get Snow Patrol and the Arctic Monkeys mixed up. Which sucks, because we work at a record store. But this stuff? I know more about this stuff than you do, and for once, let me shower you with how much knowledge I have about something. This is something I'm good at - let me help you.
(TOBY takes a deep breath.)
TOBY
Okay. What do I need to do?
BRYNN
You need to make eyes at one of these dudes. Look - that one's looking at you already.
(TOBY 'makes eyes' in a hilarious fashion.)
Good, good - oh, he's coming over! Quick, fix your hair!
TOBY
What's wrong with my hair?
BRYNN
It's too flat! Oh - too late now. Say 'hi.'
(THE DUDE walks over.)
THE DUDE
Hi.
TOBY (coy)
Hi.
THE DUDE
Nice shirt.
TOBY
It's the Green Lantern.
THE DUDE
Awesome.
TOBY (brightening)
Yeah?
THE DUDE
Yeah. I love comic books.
(BRYNN is proud of herself.)
So, I've got a question for you, Geek Girl.
TOBY
Shoot.
THE DUDE
What has 148 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk?
TOBY
I dunno … I never read Hulk.
THE DUDE
My zipper.
TOBY
Yeah, okay, we're done.
(To BRYNN)
We're done. I'm going home. This? Complete waste of time. Nice try, but … done.
(She grabs her coat and leaves the bar.)
BRYNN (to THE DUDE)
Thanks. Now I owe Moira ten bucks.
(She also grabs her coat and leaves the bar.)
Toby! Wait up, I can't take a taxi!
(BLACKOUT)
(END SCENE)
Author: Alaina L. Patterson
Summary: Brynn takes Toby to a bar to get over the Sampster.
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Author's Note: The first dialogue scene written for Creative Writing. Again, we see characters from Busted Eardrums: The Toby from A Certain Romance and The Woman of Ill Repute; and Brynn, her ditzy co-worker. Title taken from the song of the same name by the Arctic Monkeys.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblence to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is purely coincidental.
(Italics mean stage directions; Emphasized words are underlined.)
Cast of Characters
(in order of appearance)
Toby (short for Elizabeth), female, 27. An unremarkable kind of pretty. Works with Brynn. Wearing a shirt with the Green Lantern logo on it.
Brynn, 21. Works with Toby; rather ditzy.
The Dude, 25ish. An overgrown frat boy.
SETTING: A bar.
AT RISE: There is a fairly good crowd of people in the bar, but there is still one open table in the corner.
(TOBY and BRYNN enter the bar. TOBY has a look of resignation on her face; BRYNN is excited.)
TOBY
Why are we here, again, Brynn?
BRYNN
Because you dumped the Sampster three weeks ago, and it's totally time to get you back on the wagon or whatever.
TOBY
Don't call him that. And I think you mean the horse.
BRYNN
What horse?
TOBY
Never mind.
BRYNN
Who has a horse?
TOBY
Never mind.
BRYNN
Okay, okay, fine. What d'you wanna drink?
TOBY
Beer's fine.
BRYNN
What kind? They have tons here.
TOBY
Whatever you're having is fine with me.
BRYNN
'K. I'll be right back.
(She goes up to the bar to order a couple of beers. TOBY finds an empty table and sits down. She plays with a menu or whatever, muttering to herself as she waits for BRYNN to return.)
TOBY
"Go out with Brynn," Moira said; "you'll have fun," she said. Hah. The girl makes Izzie Stevens look like an actual brain surgeon; I would have more fun being forced to watch Twilight sober.
(BRYNN returns, carrying two drinks that are decidedly not beer.)
BRYNN
Ohmigod, you like Twilight too? Are you on Team Edward or Team Jacob? Because I am totally on Team Edward, and that would make us bestest friends if you were too.
TOBY
I'm on Team Just Wants It to Go Away.
(Nods to drink)
What is that?
BRYNN
Your drink.
TOBY
That's not beer.
BRYNN
Well, duh. It's a Whiskey Sour with extra cherries.
TOBY
I hate whiskey.
BRYNN
But you said -
TOBY
Never mind, it's fine, I've drank worse.
(She takes a sip and works through the gag reflex.)
So. What's the plan now? How do we have fun here?
BRYNN
Toby, are you trying to tell me that you've never been to a club before?
TOBY
I've been to plenty of bars.
BRYNN: I didn't say bars; I said club. There's a difference.
TOBY
What do you mean, 'there's a difference'? There's no difference. They both serve alcohol, they both have guys trying to mack on you -
BRYNN
First off, at a club, you're allowed to dance, whereas at a bar, you're only a drunken loser if you dance. No one wants to be a drunken loser. Secondly, don't say 'mack.' It doesn't mean what you think it means.
TOBY
Inconceivable!
BRYNN
Huh?
TOBY
Oh, God, my heart hurts now.
BRYNN
Still not quite over the Sampster, huh?
TOBY
I told you - don't call him that. [beat.] Why does everyone call him that? I never understood it. He called himself The Sampster, everyone else calls him The Sampster; I never did. Why didn't I?
BRYNN
I think you said it's because you have gramatalogical standards, and that it was stupid.
TOBY
You're right. It was stupid. I'm glad I dumped him. There should be an international rule about dating guys who call themselves "The Namester."
BRYNN
He called himself the Sampster, though.
TOBY
Right. Anyway. So. You've gotten me out of the house, almost against my will, but I think I'll try and make the most of it. Tell me: what does a girl like me do at a club?
BRYNN
Well, apparently, a girl like you is going to sit in the dark corner, drinking the Whiskey Sour you don't like, and completely ignore the cute guys who are looking at you.
TOBY
What cute guys?
BRYNN
Oh! Well, there's that guy over there, with the pockets on his shirt, and -
TOBY
Yeah, no, I see that dude; where are the cute dudes? Because I don't see any cute dudes here.
BRYNN
What are you talking about? This place is full of cute guys! You just have to open your eyes to the awesome possibilities, and stop being such a Debbie Downer!
TOBY
I am not a Debbie Downer! I just - this isn't my scene, Brynn.
BRYNN
Well, what is your scene, Toby? Because I am trying to pull you up by your bootstrings into a new relationship, here, and you're just sitting there pouting. If you'd feel better at the comic book store, I will ask Jimmy the Bartender to put your Whiskey Sour into a To-Go cup, and we can go hit on geeks drooling over the new Aquadude comic.
TOBY
Aquaman.
BRYNN
What?
TOBY
Aquaman. His name is Aquaman. And no one reads Aquaman, because Aquaman is lame.
BRYNN
Why won't you give these guys a chance? Look - there's a guy with writing on his shirt. He looks like a geek - go talk to him.
TOBY
I can't.
BRYNN
Well, why not? You're not shy. You're loud. You're so loud, you make my head hurt sometimes. Why am I the one shouting at you? This … this is weird for me, Toby, and you're not making it any easier.
TOBY
I can't talk to strange guys. I'm not that kind of girl. I don't strike up conversations with strange men.
BRYNN
You do at the store all the time.
TOBY
That's different. I'm selling them something at the store. Here, I'm not.
BRYNN
No, you are. You're selling yourself.
(Nods, proud of herself.)
See what I did there?
TOBY
Yes. Touché. But no, I - I'm not comfortable with that.
BRYNN
Toby, I have dated more men in the past six months than you have listened to that Snow Monkeys CD.
TOBY
Oh my God, do I need to take you to a doctor? Because not only have I never stopped listening to either Snow Patrol or the Arctic Monkeys in the past six months, I'm pretty sure there's no such band as the Snow Monkeys, and now I'm worried you may have brain cancer.
BRYNN
What I'm trying to say is, maybe you should trust me. I know we're not really friends or whatever, and that technically I work for you, and yeah, maybe I get Snow Patrol and the Arctic Monkeys mixed up. Which sucks, because we work at a record store. But this stuff? I know more about this stuff than you do, and for once, let me shower you with how much knowledge I have about something. This is something I'm good at - let me help you.
(TOBY takes a deep breath.)
TOBY
Okay. What do I need to do?
BRYNN
You need to make eyes at one of these dudes. Look - that one's looking at you already.
(TOBY 'makes eyes' in a hilarious fashion.)
Good, good - oh, he's coming over! Quick, fix your hair!
TOBY
What's wrong with my hair?
BRYNN
It's too flat! Oh - too late now. Say 'hi.'
(THE DUDE walks over.)
THE DUDE
Hi.
TOBY (coy)
Hi.
THE DUDE
Nice shirt.
TOBY
It's the Green Lantern.
THE DUDE
Awesome.
TOBY (brightening)
Yeah?
THE DUDE
Yeah. I love comic books.
(BRYNN is proud of herself.)
So, I've got a question for you, Geek Girl.
TOBY
Shoot.
THE DUDE
What has 148 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk?
TOBY
I dunno … I never read Hulk.
THE DUDE
My zipper.
TOBY
Yeah, okay, we're done.
(To BRYNN)
We're done. I'm going home. This? Complete waste of time. Nice try, but … done.
(She grabs her coat and leaves the bar.)
BRYNN (to THE DUDE)
Thanks. Now I owe Moira ten bucks.
(She also grabs her coat and leaves the bar.)
Toby! Wait up, I can't take a taxi!
(BLACKOUT)
(END SCENE)