Fiction: POV Exercise: "The Woman of Ill Repute"
Title: The Woman of Ill Repute
Author: Alaina L. Patterson
Summary: An interesting customer comes into Busted Eardrums one night.
Rating: PG.
Word Count: 770
Author's Note: Another writing exercise: Write the same scene from two different points-of-view. I chose the first one as first-person; the second POV is third-person from a different character. Characters are from the TV show I'm writing, Busted Eardrums. This scene will be in a future episode. And yes, it's based on fact.
The Woman of Ill Repute
Take One: POV 1st Person - David
It was a slow Tuesday night. Toby was in the back office, reconciling the cash reports, and Moira was cleaning some used CDs that had just been turned in for cash. As it was Tuesday, it was my job to replenish the Just Released Wall by the door.
"Excuse me," a soft voice interrupted my work, "but I'm looking for a song."
I turned to greet the customer, and restrained myself from reacting. Her stringy hair was dyed bright red, and judging by the texture, I'd guess that she was due for another session. Her makeup was heavy, and the mascara had started to run from the humidity. But what really took me aback was the silver trench coat that barely covered her upper thighs. I couldn't be sure if she was wearing pants from that angle.
It was obvious that she worked nights, if you know what I mean. But I was a gentleman, and so I swallowed my curiosity and smiled, gesturing to the wall of CDs behind me. "You've come to the right place, then. Do you know the name of the artist?"
She blushed. "No, I don't. But I could hum the chorus, if that would help."
I think I saw Toby circle around out of the corner of my eye, but I wasn't certain. In order to remain polite, I focused on the customer. "Go ahead, it couldn't hurt."
"Oh no," she said, truly embarrassed. "I couldn't. I can't carry a tune."
"Not even with a bucket?" She laughed at that. "Well, what radio station did you hear it on?"
Eventually, we narrowed it down to the new Death Cab for Cutie single. I walked her over to the cash wrap, pushing Toby and Moira out of the way. I rang her up personally, and thanked her for coming.
As soon as she walked out the door, the muzak switched from the quiet nothingness it was to "Roxanne." I whirled on my team, who was giggling on the other side of the cash wrap. "Is this really necessary?"
"Of course it is, David!" Toby sniggered, clutching her stomach. "I mean, come on - how often is it that you, of all people, wait on a hooker?"
"Hey, you don't know she was a … a hooker."
"Don't know?" Moira snorted. "Dude, did you see her pants? Oh wait, no, you didn't, because she wasn't wearing any."
Take Two: POV 3rd Person Limited - Toby
"Moira, have you seen David?" she asked, walking out of the office, eyes firmly attached to her report.
"Yeah."
Toby looked up from her report, slightly annoyed. "Where is he?"
Moira gestured vaguely towards the door. "Just Released Wall."
Toby turned to where Moira pointed, but stops in her tracks at the sight in front of her. Yes, David is working at the Just Released Wall, but a customer had come in unbeknownst to herself or Moira. Toby's jaw started to drop in disbelief - it couldn't be true, but yet - the silver trench coat, the severe lack of pants, the fabulous stilettos - they all added up to one thing:
David was waiting on a hooker.
To prove it to herself, Toby took a brief meander past the cozy couple, trying valiantly to be subtle and failing miserably at it. David caught her eye for a brief second, but Toby quickly turned her head away and made for the Jazz section. This was an epic fail on Toby's part; no one ever went into the Jazz section for any reason.
She returned to the cash wrap and poked Moira, who still had somehow not noticed the woman of ill repute. "Moira. Moira."
"What? I told you, he's stocking the New Releases-"
"Yeah, I found him, but look." She forces Moira to look up from her work, and a thrill runs through her as Moira's eyes widen.
"Wow."
"I know."
"I didn't know we had those in this town."
"I know."
"Do you think he knows what she is?"
Toby snorted. "Have you ever held an actual conversation with David?"
"I try to avoid them, personally."
Toby watched David and the hooker converse. "Trust me, he knows. He probably has …" She thinks. "What's gaydar for hookers?"
"Gaydar."
"No, not … no, when you have radar for hookers."
"Oh." Moira thinks. "Hookerdar?"
"Well, whatever it's called, David's got it." The girls watch the scene for a second, then Toby turns back to Moira. "So whadya think, mess with him?"
Moira held up her iPod. "Already three steps ahead of you, Toby. I've had a playlist for just this occasion since I started working here."
Author: Alaina L. Patterson
Summary: An interesting customer comes into Busted Eardrums one night.
Rating: PG.
Word Count: 770
Author's Note: Another writing exercise: Write the same scene from two different points-of-view. I chose the first one as first-person; the second POV is third-person from a different character. Characters are from the TV show I'm writing, Busted Eardrums. This scene will be in a future episode. And yes, it's based on fact.
The Woman of Ill Repute
Take One: POV 1st Person - David
It was a slow Tuesday night. Toby was in the back office, reconciling the cash reports, and Moira was cleaning some used CDs that had just been turned in for cash. As it was Tuesday, it was my job to replenish the Just Released Wall by the door.
"Excuse me," a soft voice interrupted my work, "but I'm looking for a song."
I turned to greet the customer, and restrained myself from reacting. Her stringy hair was dyed bright red, and judging by the texture, I'd guess that she was due for another session. Her makeup was heavy, and the mascara had started to run from the humidity. But what really took me aback was the silver trench coat that barely covered her upper thighs. I couldn't be sure if she was wearing pants from that angle.
It was obvious that she worked nights, if you know what I mean. But I was a gentleman, and so I swallowed my curiosity and smiled, gesturing to the wall of CDs behind me. "You've come to the right place, then. Do you know the name of the artist?"
She blushed. "No, I don't. But I could hum the chorus, if that would help."
I think I saw Toby circle around out of the corner of my eye, but I wasn't certain. In order to remain polite, I focused on the customer. "Go ahead, it couldn't hurt."
"Oh no," she said, truly embarrassed. "I couldn't. I can't carry a tune."
"Not even with a bucket?" She laughed at that. "Well, what radio station did you hear it on?"
Eventually, we narrowed it down to the new Death Cab for Cutie single. I walked her over to the cash wrap, pushing Toby and Moira out of the way. I rang her up personally, and thanked her for coming.
As soon as she walked out the door, the muzak switched from the quiet nothingness it was to "Roxanne." I whirled on my team, who was giggling on the other side of the cash wrap. "Is this really necessary?"
"Of course it is, David!" Toby sniggered, clutching her stomach. "I mean, come on - how often is it that you, of all people, wait on a hooker?"
"Hey, you don't know she was a … a hooker."
"Don't know?" Moira snorted. "Dude, did you see her pants? Oh wait, no, you didn't, because she wasn't wearing any."
Take Two: POV 3rd Person Limited - Toby
"Moira, have you seen David?" she asked, walking out of the office, eyes firmly attached to her report.
"Yeah."
Toby looked up from her report, slightly annoyed. "Where is he?"
Moira gestured vaguely towards the door. "Just Released Wall."
Toby turned to where Moira pointed, but stops in her tracks at the sight in front of her. Yes, David is working at the Just Released Wall, but a customer had come in unbeknownst to herself or Moira. Toby's jaw started to drop in disbelief - it couldn't be true, but yet - the silver trench coat, the severe lack of pants, the fabulous stilettos - they all added up to one thing:
David was waiting on a hooker.
To prove it to herself, Toby took a brief meander past the cozy couple, trying valiantly to be subtle and failing miserably at it. David caught her eye for a brief second, but Toby quickly turned her head away and made for the Jazz section. This was an epic fail on Toby's part; no one ever went into the Jazz section for any reason.
She returned to the cash wrap and poked Moira, who still had somehow not noticed the woman of ill repute. "Moira. Moira."
"What? I told you, he's stocking the New Releases-"
"Yeah, I found him, but look." She forces Moira to look up from her work, and a thrill runs through her as Moira's eyes widen.
"Wow."
"I know."
"I didn't know we had those in this town."
"I know."
"Do you think he knows what she is?"
Toby snorted. "Have you ever held an actual conversation with David?"
"I try to avoid them, personally."
Toby watched David and the hooker converse. "Trust me, he knows. He probably has …" She thinks. "What's gaydar for hookers?"
"Gaydar."
"No, not … no, when you have radar for hookers."
"Oh." Moira thinks. "Hookerdar?"
"Well, whatever it's called, David's got it." The girls watch the scene for a second, then Toby turns back to Moira. "So whadya think, mess with him?"
Moira held up her iPod. "Already three steps ahead of you, Toby. I've had a playlist for just this occasion since I started working here."