Bi-Weekly Challenge: Falling.
Who? Remus Lupin
What? One pissed off werewolf. Aftermath.
Why? What does it feel like to fall? Never ending. And infuriating, too.
When? Now in grownhp6words; almost directly after this.
Somehow the door didn't slam closed after him.
In the time that had taken Remus to get from that damn classroom and back to the apartment he was using at Hogwarts, the conversation that had just taken place played and replayed in his head. Every word said. Every tone.
"You weren't there with her, that night. She was all on her own."
No, he hadn't been. He had left her. He had left her and Scorpius, he had left his friends, and he had gone off. He had hunted.
He had woken up covered in blood.
Scorpius and Maisie had as well. Blood. There had been so much blood.
There was still so much blood.
It was in the hallways. On the walls. It was invisible to those that didn't know how to look, but Remus wasn't that lucky. He could see it, and he could smell it, and if he dared to admit it to himself he could still taste it.
"What happened?"
Fuck if he knew, he thought bitterly as he secured the room so that the smell of cigarette wouldn't leak out to the halls or anywhere else, and lit up a smoke. His lungs burned in that familiar way, that way that he had grown to love and be used to for the past few weeks more than ever, and he exhaled slowly as the conversation replayed again.
"I gave you space, didn't I. I didn't insist you come home before you chose to; I didn't press you with questions when you did return. And look what happened - I. was. wrong. I trusted you to work to regain control, to manage things. And that was obviously misplaced."
"Obviously," he muttered with a scoff under his breath.
Did it matter, what had happened? It had happened. There was nothing to fix, because things were broken beyond repair. He wanted to fix things, for Maisie and for Scorpius and for himself, and for the Champions, and for everyone, but he couldn't. No one could; why was it so hard to see? And right now it didn't even MATTER if things couldn't be fixed for himself - what mattered was that his little girl was out somewhere. That was what mattered, wasn't it? Maisie mattered. Sebastian mattered. Nik mattered.
When he trusted himself to think clearly - after two more cigarettes had been burnt through - he wrote a quick note to send to his children at home.
There has been some problems at school, and I need to stay tonight. I will go see you tomorrow afternoon, after classes. I promise.
Love,
Dad
Watching the owl fly away, Remus took a breath and reached for his cloak so he could go for a walk around the grounds. He needed to straighten out his thoughts. There was no way he was going home, and staying in his room was not an option.
As he walked out, he suddenly realized, options were things he was running low on.
What? One pissed off werewolf. Aftermath.
Why? What does it feel like to fall? Never ending. And infuriating, too.
When? Now in grownhp6words; almost directly after this.
Somehow the door didn't slam closed after him.
In the time that had taken Remus to get from that damn classroom and back to the apartment he was using at Hogwarts, the conversation that had just taken place played and replayed in his head. Every word said. Every tone.
"You weren't there with her, that night. She was all on her own."
No, he hadn't been. He had left her. He had left her and Scorpius, he had left his friends, and he had gone off. He had hunted.
He had woken up covered in blood.
Scorpius and Maisie had as well. Blood. There had been so much blood.
There was still so much blood.
It was in the hallways. On the walls. It was invisible to those that didn't know how to look, but Remus wasn't that lucky. He could see it, and he could smell it, and if he dared to admit it to himself he could still taste it.
"What happened?"
Fuck if he knew, he thought bitterly as he secured the room so that the smell of cigarette wouldn't leak out to the halls or anywhere else, and lit up a smoke. His lungs burned in that familiar way, that way that he had grown to love and be used to for the past few weeks more than ever, and he exhaled slowly as the conversation replayed again.
"I gave you space, didn't I. I didn't insist you come home before you chose to; I didn't press you with questions when you did return. And look what happened - I. was. wrong. I trusted you to work to regain control, to manage things. And that was obviously misplaced."
"Obviously," he muttered with a scoff under his breath.
Did it matter, what had happened? It had happened. There was nothing to fix, because things were broken beyond repair. He wanted to fix things, for Maisie and for Scorpius and for himself, and for the Champions, and for everyone, but he couldn't. No one could; why was it so hard to see? And right now it didn't even MATTER if things couldn't be fixed for himself - what mattered was that his little girl was out somewhere. That was what mattered, wasn't it? Maisie mattered. Sebastian mattered. Nik mattered.
When he trusted himself to think clearly - after two more cigarettes had been burnt through - he wrote a quick note to send to his children at home.
There has been some problems at school, and I need to stay tonight. I will go see you tomorrow afternoon, after classes. I promise.
Love,
Dad
Watching the owl fly away, Remus took a breath and reached for his cloak so he could go for a walk around the grounds. He needed to straighten out his thoughts. There was no way he was going home, and staying in his room was not an option.
As he walked out, he suddenly realized, options were things he was running low on.