Father Figure (8/8)
ZOMG! It's DONE!
Title: Father Figure, Pt. 8
Authors: clarkangel and moondustwolf
Beta: Many thanks to janes_membrane for beta and editing!
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for rape and language. Also, in this part, large amounts of cheesy fluff. And angst overload, but that's no different. ^^
Summary: House comes and makes everything okay. Glee! (Yes, there's more to it than that. But that's all that matters, right?) And there's an epilogue!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
House slammed the phone down on the receiver. He felt like he had back in the driveway a couple nights ago, when blind anger had been surging through him, but right now he just felt too close to collapse to show that. He just wanted to scream. The frustration was unbearable and he barely knew what options he had anymore.
He had gotten a call from the place where they had sent Chase. When he had first picked up and heard the psychiatrist on the other end, sounding exhausted, he had been sure that he was going to be able to gloat to Cuddy that her man was really out of practice and nowhere near as good as she thought he was. Then Dr. Kelly had told him what had happened. That Chase had briefly gone so crazy that he had become dangerous and had to be restrained.
His plan was going down the drain and he had no idea what to do about it. He took a swig from a bottle of brandy by his bed, just hoping to take the edge off the horrible headache that was now creeping into his veins. Placing the bottle onto his desk, he pressed his forehead against the cool wood surface as well and sighed.
It just seemed hopeless. He could find a solution to anything in the hospital and yet he just couldn’t come up with a way to help Chase. He toyed with the idea of calling Wilson. But no, Jimmy was just the sensitive type who would tell him to go down and talk to his fellow. Again.
What good would that do? It was what they had tried so many times already and each time had basically failed. And now this…there was just no point. None. He just didn’t see how it could work anymore.
And yet what other choice did he have? He had promised Chase and himself that he would not stop trying. He couldn’t go back on his word now. It wasn’t like he could just snap his fingers and see the path he really needed to take. That had been obvious a long time ago.
Slowly, he stood up, picked up his cane and stretched a little. He called Dr. Kelly back and told the answering machine that he would be down there as soon as he could manage it. One last try. After that…he had no idea what to do. But for tonight, he would give it one final go and try to knock some sense into Robert Chase at last.
He picked up his cell phone as he stepped out the door and flipped it open, pressing the number to speed dial the oncologist and waited for his friend to pick up. “Wilson?”
“What’s up, House? I’m guessing there’s a reason you’re calling me now.”
“We’re having more problems with Chase. Seems Cuddy’s guy tried to get him to talk and when he didn’t want to, tried to force medication on him.”
Wilson made a slight hissing noise between his teeth, already understanding the impact of that. “Damn. And I’d imagine Chase didn’t take it well.”
“That’s an understatement,” House scoffed bitterly. “He basically snapped. Picked up this heavy paperweight thing and well…let’s just say it was a good thing they were able to get him sedated.”
Wilson groaned softly. “Damn. I thought once we got him to someone, he’d finally start getting better.”
“Yeah, well,” House spat. “This is Chase, after all. Apparently it’s going to take a bit more than that.” There was silence on the end of the line for a moment and then he heard Wilson take a long, slow breath.
“God, House. I hate to have to leave you with this but he’s your problem right now. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going over there now. Giving it one last go. If-” House broke off and closed his eyes before getting into his car, slamming the door and starting the engine. “If this doesn’t work, I don’t know that anything will.”
Wilson didn’t respond to that for a while and when he did, he sounded as though he doubted his own words. “You’ll figure something out, I’m sure.”
“Yeah,” House replied. “But I don’t know how long it will take before I do so. And I don’t know if I even can before it’s too late.”
~ * ~
His arms were tied down again.
That was the first thing Chase noticed and it shot him straight into a panic. He recalled the rope burns on his wrists, knew what they meant the first time, and began to wrench his hands against the bindings. Voices came overhead and he thrashed around wildly, desperate to escape his new attacker.
“Chase!” It was House. Again. The terror ebbed away and he fell back to the bed before opening his eyes.
“I told you not to put me in here.” He was surprised by how calm yet angry his own voice sounded. He’s tired but still sharp.
“I put you in here for your own good.” House voice was just as calm but also just as pissed. “And you’re staying in here until you’re better no matter what you do. So you’d better stop fucking off and deal with it.”
Chase blinked at that, narrowed his eyes and sighed. “What did I do, exactly?” He remembered most of the events with his session with Dr. Kelly but still felt he should ask.
“Well, Dr. Kelly here thought it would be a good idea to give you more drugs.” For a moment, House’s voice sounded spiteful to someone other than Chase but was quickly redirected again. “And you tried to knock him out with a giant piece of marble.”
Chase groaned. “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he defended himself sulkily, “I just snapped. He put too much pressure on me. He even admitted it.”
House rolled his eyes. “And that gave you the right to try and kill him?” Chase looked affronted.
“I didn’t-”
“But you almost did.” The accusation came cold and hard and Chase swallowed heavily and nodded. He sat still for a few moments while House watched him, feeling the anger ebb away to be replaced, yet again, by shame.
“I’m so sorry, House,” he whispered, cringing at how pathetic and false the words now sounded.
House gave a slight shake of his head. “That’s like the third time you’ve said that. And each time it gets worse. Apologizing isn’t enough. Running away isn’t enough. You need help, Chase. Time to face the facts. Once and for all.”
Chase nodded. He tried to speak but couldn’t. The words got caught in his throat over a lump that had formed there. He felt his teeth biting his lower lip almost to the point of bleeding as his mind began to slip into panic mode.
The guilt was overwhelming him now and he knew House was right. But he was afraid though he tried so much to deny it. He’s afraid to let go because if he did, he might never be able to come back. He felt House slide a little closer to him, carefully reaching a hand towards his back, leaning towards him and slowly undid the binds to his wrists.
“It’s okay Chase. We’re getting you help.” Chase gulped. The words, the sudden awareness that someone actually cares and worries about him made his heart ache. He shuddered all over. He shook his head violently as House kept talking, gently now.
“This has gone too far and lasted long enough. You’ve got these goddamn ideas in your head and you’ve let them destroy your whole life. You have so many people who would care so much and be able to do so much if you’d just stop locking them out. You need to let us help.”
“I can’t,” he gasped, even then not really knowing what he meant, and not resisting the touch slowly wrapping around his waist. As the hold tightened, the anguish won out for a second and he desperately buried his face in House’s jacket, though still fighting the wave of emotion crashing over him.
“Yes, you can. It’s okay, it’s alright.” For his own part, House didn’t really know what he was doing. He only knew he had Chase close, so close, to where he needed to be right now and he wasn’t going to give up. “Hey. I’m here. Cameron, Foreman, even Wilson and Cuddy- they all care. You’re not alone. Don’t pretend to be, Chase.”
Chase just sat for a moment, unable to move or respond. He felt his will and determination crack and break underneath him, leaving him completely unprotected and open. And then he went limp, grabbed at House’s shirt and began to sob openly, drawing his knees up to his chest and clinging to the other man like a support system.
House buckled a little as the weight of the intensivist pushed him into an awkward position by sitting on top of his bad leg. Bracing himself and wincing, he slid out his bad leg and then pulled Chase into his lap, with the blonde’s weight mostly distributed to his good leg. He feels strangely nervous himself about the whole situation, despite the fact that this was what he had come for, to get Chase to finally show what he felt and to reach out.. He still couldn’t help feeling that this wasn’t his place but that didn’t matter much now. He played his fingers through the younger man’s smooth hair, cursing himself for becoming soft.
Chase just curled up tighter around himself, leaning further into House’s arms as his shoulders shook. He cried for everything that had ever happened to him- his mother, his father, Father Morrigan, Coglan- bawling against his boss’s stiff body for what felt like hours though it was probably really only minutes. He shook and trembled and heaved violently in grief, surrendering himself completely, if just for right now.
Finally, he managed to start taking deep breaths, slowly regaining his composure, however he remained sagging in House’s arms. Too weak to move, he just lay still. It hurt to breathe and his wet cheeks stung. He felt stupid, embarrassed and worn out, yet somehow his heart felt lighter than it had in so many years.
It was like throwing everything out into the open and in doing so; it was taken off his shoulders. The effort that had, for so many years, gone into holding everything back weighed him down like he couldn’t describe. And now so much of that seemed to have evaporated. He didn’t feel happy, of course. Not by any means. But he felt…relieved, perhaps.
House shifted a little on the bed, still not letting go of Chase even though he’d calmed down. He rubbed his duckling’s arms, wondering if he should try to say anything. Fortunately, before he had to decide, Chase quietly spoke up.
“Thank you.” He leaned back just a little. His cheeks now actually felt raw from the tears and his throat was getting a bit sore. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and started to dry his face with the palms of his hands.
House felt genuinely confused. “For what?”
“For…” Chase shrugged. “For everything. For actually caring and doing so much. For…for this.”
House bit his lip a little and tried to joke in response. “Yeah, well, if you had gone and killed yourself, Cuddy would be all over my ass. I’d also have to hire a new minion. So really I was just doing it all for myself. Don’t be too impressed. And don’t you dare tell anyone I’m nice.
“Never,” Chase said, managing to smile just a little. “I know you have a reputation to protect.”
There was a long moment of silence until House spoke up again “So. You agree? Because I think you see why you need to stay here now.”
Chase nodded, resigned but understanding. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. I just…this is all so different. I haven’t talked about any of it in so long, actually having to, on a regular basis, is…really fucking hard.” He gave a slight laugh though it wasn’t really funny.
“Yeah, I know.” House’s voice was gruff and, if possible, protective. “But we can’t just dance around it. The only way for you to really heal is to face all of this head on. It’ll hurt but in the end you’ll feel better.
Chase nervously chewed his lip again but gave a nod. House was right. He couldn’t just keep running away. He jumped a little at the sound of a hand knocking on the door. Looking up, he saw Dr. Kelly come into the room, smiling carefully at them both.
“Hi,” he said, sitting on a corner of the bed a safe distance from House and Chase. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m…” Chase took a moment to think about it and then managed to grin just a little. “I’m okay.” He meant it too but then suddenly remembered that this was the same man he’d tried to hit over the head just a little while ago. “I, uh…look, I’m really sorry about-”
“Don’t think anything of it,” Dr. Kelly cut him off. “I was going too far without thinking about the consequences. I shouldn’t have tried to force the drugs on you. He eyed House apologetically. House still looked cross about the issue but apparently decided not to press it.
“Whatever. I suppose it all turned out for the best in the end anyway. And-” he looked at Chase for the next few words, “maybe some chemically-induced help with sleeping is a good idea, anyway.”
For just a second, Chase was tempted to protest this but he didn’t hold on to it for long. House was right; he really needed to be able to rest and that just wasn’t happening the way he was now.
“So you are staying here?” Dr. Kelly asked after a moment, looking at them rather hopefully.
“Yeah,” Chase replied slowly, swallowing carefully and raising his head up. “Yeah. I’m staying here.” He let his breath out shakily and glanced over at House. “I want to get through this.”
House began rubbing Chase’s back gently. “If it helps, I’ll come more often. A few times a week. I’ll even bring Cameron and Foreman when I can- no matter what you say. They are worried about you- even Foreman.”
Chase took a shuddery breath. “So when you said you told them everything, you told them…everything? I mean, about my past…my parents?”
House looked away before responding. “Yeah. I know you wanted it kept private but they had to know in this case.” He gave a rueful smile. “Cameron, of course, was basically in tears and will probably try to find you an adoptive mother as soon as you get back. Foreman I almost feel bad for. He keeps talking about all the shit he said about you, all the assumptions he made…”
“They never had any reason to think anything else,” Chase said softly. “I never held it against them. I didn’t want them to know.” House sighed again.
“Right and I’m sorry but people do need to know.”
“No, yeah, I know,” Chase agreed, finally pulling himself weakly into a sitting position. “Look, you really don’t need to come down here all that often. I don’t want to make you drive all that way.”
“Yeah well, I do want to drive all that way. So don’t argue.” House gave a slightly forced grin. “Besides, I’m sure I can convince Cuddy that I’m doing it as a good Samaritan and get out of a lot of clinic duty.” Chase laughed a little, just barely but enough to give House hope that he was really starting to get better.
“I owe you so much,” he murmured. “Least of all for just putting up with me. Maybe everything will be better after this.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” House told him, giving a slight smirk as he stood up and moved over to get his jacket. “At the very least, Cameron won’t be sleeping with you because she’s high anymore. She’ll be sleeping with you because pity sex can be even better than sex that’s meth-induced.” Ignoring Chase’s miming of throwing something just a little south of his belly button; he opened the door and walked out.
~ * ~
Over the next few months, Chase was put into a gradual but intensive therapy program. House stayed true to his word and visited often, occasionally bringing his other two ducklings and very rarely, Wilson and Cuddy as well.
Cameron didn’t hound him as much as he’d feared but she was definitely determined to mother-hen him as much as possible. Surprisingly though, it was Foreman who began checking, in a falsely unconcerned voice, that he was keeping up with his antidepressants and sessions with the psychiatrist.
Talking was as bad as he’d expected. Everything poured out of his heart until he hurt too much to go on but in a way it also felt better than anything else he’d ever done. He knew true recovery was a long, long way off but he thought, through this, maybe he could at least have hope.
EPILOGUE
Chase returned to work, two weeks earlier than anyone - other than House and Cuddy - expected. He felt apprehensive as he walked into the Conference room, even with House just a few steps behind him. A small part of him was tempted to turn and run, because he wasn't sure he was ready for this, but he made himself step through the door.
And into Cameron's bear hug. Chase found himself squeezing her back and feeling the tension that had been coiled up inside him, slipping away. When they pulled back and he saw her happy smile, he felt glad to be here.
"It's good to have you back!" Cameron enthused, giving him another quick hug. "You are back, right? This isn't just a visit or something."
"I'm back," Chase assured her.
Foreman was there next, offering his hand. "You look good, man," he stated.
Chase nodded, as he shook his hand. He knew he was still pale and too thin, but he also knew he looked a lot better than when he'd left. "I'm getting there," he said softly. "So how’ve things been? You guys miss me?" He didn't expect a serious reply; he just wanted to break the ice so to speak.
"It hasn't been the same without you, Chase," Cameron said with quiet sincerity.
"I know the feeling," he replied, and then he had to blink hard against the sudden sting of tears. It felt so damn good to be back.
House seemed to sense that Chase was getting emotional. He limped over to the table and slapped down a file. "Time to go to work, kiddies. New case. 33 year old female suffering from headaches and amnesia."
Chase took a seat at the table, settling himself in, eyes focused on the white board as House wrote down the symptoms they knew. He felt a bit edgy, but during the next 30 minutes as he offered thoughts and ideas, he felt like he finally had come home.
~*~
At the end of the day, House called Chase into his office. He felt it had been a good day all around. Chase looked happy if a bit tired, and he had done well, finding his focus and slipping back into the familiarity of work. But House still felt compelled to ask him, "So how are you doing?"
"Better," Chase replied, offering up a bright smile.
"It's good to have you back," House said, and he meant it. But he couldn't help adding, "You do realize that I'm not going to go easy on you now that you are back?"
Chase's grin got bigger. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he replied. "So are we done?"
House was surprised. "What, you have somewhere you gotta be?"
"Actually, yeah," Chase countered. "Cameron and Foreman have invited me to the Pub to play pool." A sly grin curved his mouth. "Foreman's offered to teach me how to play."
"Judging by the wicked gleam in your eyes, I'm guessing you're something of a pool shark," House countered, and he found himself intrigued by this little tidbit about the Aussie.
Chase merely shrugged and made an effort to look innocent. "It's not my fault if Foreman is still making assumptions about Aussies."
House laughed then pushed up from his chair. "Mind if I join you then? We could play teams. Us against them."
"I'd like that," Chase allowed, then he headed for the door only to turn back to say, "Thanks...for everything." He looked a bit embarrassed, but he held House's gaze.
"You don't have to thank me," House replied. "Just keep in mind that I pretty much own your ass now." He kept his tone light and teasing, but at the same time he let Chase see in his eyes that a part of him was serious. They were bonded in a way went beyond mentor and student, or even the father and son thing they sort of had going on. House wasn't sure he'd call them friends, but it was okay that what they were wasn't exactly definable. It was what it was.
Chase laughed softly. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he allowed.
House nodded, then limped past him out the door. As they made their way towards the elevator they chatted about the latest episode of General Hospital and House decided that life wasn't so bad after all.
Title: Father Figure, Pt. 8
Authors: clarkangel and moondustwolf
Beta: Many thanks to janes_membrane for beta and editing!
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for rape and language. Also, in this part, large amounts of cheesy fluff. And angst overload, but that's no different. ^^
Summary: House comes and makes everything okay. Glee! (Yes, there's more to it than that. But that's all that matters, right?) And there's an epilogue!
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
House slammed the phone down on the receiver. He felt like he had back in the driveway a couple nights ago, when blind anger had been surging through him, but right now he just felt too close to collapse to show that. He just wanted to scream. The frustration was unbearable and he barely knew what options he had anymore.
He had gotten a call from the place where they had sent Chase. When he had first picked up and heard the psychiatrist on the other end, sounding exhausted, he had been sure that he was going to be able to gloat to Cuddy that her man was really out of practice and nowhere near as good as she thought he was. Then Dr. Kelly had told him what had happened. That Chase had briefly gone so crazy that he had become dangerous and had to be restrained.
His plan was going down the drain and he had no idea what to do about it. He took a swig from a bottle of brandy by his bed, just hoping to take the edge off the horrible headache that was now creeping into his veins. Placing the bottle onto his desk, he pressed his forehead against the cool wood surface as well and sighed.
It just seemed hopeless. He could find a solution to anything in the hospital and yet he just couldn’t come up with a way to help Chase. He toyed with the idea of calling Wilson. But no, Jimmy was just the sensitive type who would tell him to go down and talk to his fellow. Again.
What good would that do? It was what they had tried so many times already and each time had basically failed. And now this…there was just no point. None. He just didn’t see how it could work anymore.
And yet what other choice did he have? He had promised Chase and himself that he would not stop trying. He couldn’t go back on his word now. It wasn’t like he could just snap his fingers and see the path he really needed to take. That had been obvious a long time ago.
Slowly, he stood up, picked up his cane and stretched a little. He called Dr. Kelly back and told the answering machine that he would be down there as soon as he could manage it. One last try. After that…he had no idea what to do. But for tonight, he would give it one final go and try to knock some sense into Robert Chase at last.
He picked up his cell phone as he stepped out the door and flipped it open, pressing the number to speed dial the oncologist and waited for his friend to pick up. “Wilson?”
“What’s up, House? I’m guessing there’s a reason you’re calling me now.”
“We’re having more problems with Chase. Seems Cuddy’s guy tried to get him to talk and when he didn’t want to, tried to force medication on him.”
Wilson made a slight hissing noise between his teeth, already understanding the impact of that. “Damn. And I’d imagine Chase didn’t take it well.”
“That’s an understatement,” House scoffed bitterly. “He basically snapped. Picked up this heavy paperweight thing and well…let’s just say it was a good thing they were able to get him sedated.”
Wilson groaned softly. “Damn. I thought once we got him to someone, he’d finally start getting better.”
“Yeah, well,” House spat. “This is Chase, after all. Apparently it’s going to take a bit more than that.” There was silence on the end of the line for a moment and then he heard Wilson take a long, slow breath.
“God, House. I hate to have to leave you with this but he’s your problem right now. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going over there now. Giving it one last go. If-” House broke off and closed his eyes before getting into his car, slamming the door and starting the engine. “If this doesn’t work, I don’t know that anything will.”
Wilson didn’t respond to that for a while and when he did, he sounded as though he doubted his own words. “You’ll figure something out, I’m sure.”
“Yeah,” House replied. “But I don’t know how long it will take before I do so. And I don’t know if I even can before it’s too late.”
~ * ~
His arms were tied down again.
That was the first thing Chase noticed and it shot him straight into a panic. He recalled the rope burns on his wrists, knew what they meant the first time, and began to wrench his hands against the bindings. Voices came overhead and he thrashed around wildly, desperate to escape his new attacker.
“Chase!” It was House. Again. The terror ebbed away and he fell back to the bed before opening his eyes.
“I told you not to put me in here.” He was surprised by how calm yet angry his own voice sounded. He’s tired but still sharp.
“I put you in here for your own good.” House voice was just as calm but also just as pissed. “And you’re staying in here until you’re better no matter what you do. So you’d better stop fucking off and deal with it.”
Chase blinked at that, narrowed his eyes and sighed. “What did I do, exactly?” He remembered most of the events with his session with Dr. Kelly but still felt he should ask.
“Well, Dr. Kelly here thought it would be a good idea to give you more drugs.” For a moment, House’s voice sounded spiteful to someone other than Chase but was quickly redirected again. “And you tried to knock him out with a giant piece of marble.”
Chase groaned. “I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he defended himself sulkily, “I just snapped. He put too much pressure on me. He even admitted it.”
House rolled his eyes. “And that gave you the right to try and kill him?” Chase looked affronted.
“I didn’t-”
“But you almost did.” The accusation came cold and hard and Chase swallowed heavily and nodded. He sat still for a few moments while House watched him, feeling the anger ebb away to be replaced, yet again, by shame.
“I’m so sorry, House,” he whispered, cringing at how pathetic and false the words now sounded.
House gave a slight shake of his head. “That’s like the third time you’ve said that. And each time it gets worse. Apologizing isn’t enough. Running away isn’t enough. You need help, Chase. Time to face the facts. Once and for all.”
Chase nodded. He tried to speak but couldn’t. The words got caught in his throat over a lump that had formed there. He felt his teeth biting his lower lip almost to the point of bleeding as his mind began to slip into panic mode.
The guilt was overwhelming him now and he knew House was right. But he was afraid though he tried so much to deny it. He’s afraid to let go because if he did, he might never be able to come back. He felt House slide a little closer to him, carefully reaching a hand towards his back, leaning towards him and slowly undid the binds to his wrists.
“It’s okay Chase. We’re getting you help.” Chase gulped. The words, the sudden awareness that someone actually cares and worries about him made his heart ache. He shuddered all over. He shook his head violently as House kept talking, gently now.
“This has gone too far and lasted long enough. You’ve got these goddamn ideas in your head and you’ve let them destroy your whole life. You have so many people who would care so much and be able to do so much if you’d just stop locking them out. You need to let us help.”
“I can’t,” he gasped, even then not really knowing what he meant, and not resisting the touch slowly wrapping around his waist. As the hold tightened, the anguish won out for a second and he desperately buried his face in House’s jacket, though still fighting the wave of emotion crashing over him.
“Yes, you can. It’s okay, it’s alright.” For his own part, House didn’t really know what he was doing. He only knew he had Chase close, so close, to where he needed to be right now and he wasn’t going to give up. “Hey. I’m here. Cameron, Foreman, even Wilson and Cuddy- they all care. You’re not alone. Don’t pretend to be, Chase.”
Chase just sat for a moment, unable to move or respond. He felt his will and determination crack and break underneath him, leaving him completely unprotected and open. And then he went limp, grabbed at House’s shirt and began to sob openly, drawing his knees up to his chest and clinging to the other man like a support system.
House buckled a little as the weight of the intensivist pushed him into an awkward position by sitting on top of his bad leg. Bracing himself and wincing, he slid out his bad leg and then pulled Chase into his lap, with the blonde’s weight mostly distributed to his good leg. He feels strangely nervous himself about the whole situation, despite the fact that this was what he had come for, to get Chase to finally show what he felt and to reach out.. He still couldn’t help feeling that this wasn’t his place but that didn’t matter much now. He played his fingers through the younger man’s smooth hair, cursing himself for becoming soft.
Chase just curled up tighter around himself, leaning further into House’s arms as his shoulders shook. He cried for everything that had ever happened to him- his mother, his father, Father Morrigan, Coglan- bawling against his boss’s stiff body for what felt like hours though it was probably really only minutes. He shook and trembled and heaved violently in grief, surrendering himself completely, if just for right now.
Finally, he managed to start taking deep breaths, slowly regaining his composure, however he remained sagging in House’s arms. Too weak to move, he just lay still. It hurt to breathe and his wet cheeks stung. He felt stupid, embarrassed and worn out, yet somehow his heart felt lighter than it had in so many years.
It was like throwing everything out into the open and in doing so; it was taken off his shoulders. The effort that had, for so many years, gone into holding everything back weighed him down like he couldn’t describe. And now so much of that seemed to have evaporated. He didn’t feel happy, of course. Not by any means. But he felt…relieved, perhaps.
House shifted a little on the bed, still not letting go of Chase even though he’d calmed down. He rubbed his duckling’s arms, wondering if he should try to say anything. Fortunately, before he had to decide, Chase quietly spoke up.
“Thank you.” He leaned back just a little. His cheeks now actually felt raw from the tears and his throat was getting a bit sore. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and started to dry his face with the palms of his hands.
House felt genuinely confused. “For what?”
“For…” Chase shrugged. “For everything. For actually caring and doing so much. For…for this.”
House bit his lip a little and tried to joke in response. “Yeah, well, if you had gone and killed yourself, Cuddy would be all over my ass. I’d also have to hire a new minion. So really I was just doing it all for myself. Don’t be too impressed. And don’t you dare tell anyone I’m nice.
“Never,” Chase said, managing to smile just a little. “I know you have a reputation to protect.”
There was a long moment of silence until House spoke up again “So. You agree? Because I think you see why you need to stay here now.”
Chase nodded, resigned but understanding. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. I just…this is all so different. I haven’t talked about any of it in so long, actually having to, on a regular basis, is…really fucking hard.” He gave a slight laugh though it wasn’t really funny.
“Yeah, I know.” House’s voice was gruff and, if possible, protective. “But we can’t just dance around it. The only way for you to really heal is to face all of this head on. It’ll hurt but in the end you’ll feel better.
Chase nervously chewed his lip again but gave a nod. House was right. He couldn’t just keep running away. He jumped a little at the sound of a hand knocking on the door. Looking up, he saw Dr. Kelly come into the room, smiling carefully at them both.
“Hi,” he said, sitting on a corner of the bed a safe distance from House and Chase. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m…” Chase took a moment to think about it and then managed to grin just a little. “I’m okay.” He meant it too but then suddenly remembered that this was the same man he’d tried to hit over the head just a little while ago. “I, uh…look, I’m really sorry about-”
“Don’t think anything of it,” Dr. Kelly cut him off. “I was going too far without thinking about the consequences. I shouldn’t have tried to force the drugs on you. He eyed House apologetically. House still looked cross about the issue but apparently decided not to press it.
“Whatever. I suppose it all turned out for the best in the end anyway. And-” he looked at Chase for the next few words, “maybe some chemically-induced help with sleeping is a good idea, anyway.”
For just a second, Chase was tempted to protest this but he didn’t hold on to it for long. House was right; he really needed to be able to rest and that just wasn’t happening the way he was now.
“So you are staying here?” Dr. Kelly asked after a moment, looking at them rather hopefully.
“Yeah,” Chase replied slowly, swallowing carefully and raising his head up. “Yeah. I’m staying here.” He let his breath out shakily and glanced over at House. “I want to get through this.”
House began rubbing Chase’s back gently. “If it helps, I’ll come more often. A few times a week. I’ll even bring Cameron and Foreman when I can- no matter what you say. They are worried about you- even Foreman.”
Chase took a shuddery breath. “So when you said you told them everything, you told them…everything? I mean, about my past…my parents?”
House looked away before responding. “Yeah. I know you wanted it kept private but they had to know in this case.” He gave a rueful smile. “Cameron, of course, was basically in tears and will probably try to find you an adoptive mother as soon as you get back. Foreman I almost feel bad for. He keeps talking about all the shit he said about you, all the assumptions he made…”
“They never had any reason to think anything else,” Chase said softly. “I never held it against them. I didn’t want them to know.” House sighed again.
“Right and I’m sorry but people do need to know.”
“No, yeah, I know,” Chase agreed, finally pulling himself weakly into a sitting position. “Look, you really don’t need to come down here all that often. I don’t want to make you drive all that way.”
“Yeah well, I do want to drive all that way. So don’t argue.” House gave a slightly forced grin. “Besides, I’m sure I can convince Cuddy that I’m doing it as a good Samaritan and get out of a lot of clinic duty.” Chase laughed a little, just barely but enough to give House hope that he was really starting to get better.
“I owe you so much,” he murmured. “Least of all for just putting up with me. Maybe everything will be better after this.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” House told him, giving a slight smirk as he stood up and moved over to get his jacket. “At the very least, Cameron won’t be sleeping with you because she’s high anymore. She’ll be sleeping with you because pity sex can be even better than sex that’s meth-induced.” Ignoring Chase’s miming of throwing something just a little south of his belly button; he opened the door and walked out.
~ * ~
Over the next few months, Chase was put into a gradual but intensive therapy program. House stayed true to his word and visited often, occasionally bringing his other two ducklings and very rarely, Wilson and Cuddy as well.
Cameron didn’t hound him as much as he’d feared but she was definitely determined to mother-hen him as much as possible. Surprisingly though, it was Foreman who began checking, in a falsely unconcerned voice, that he was keeping up with his antidepressants and sessions with the psychiatrist.
Talking was as bad as he’d expected. Everything poured out of his heart until he hurt too much to go on but in a way it also felt better than anything else he’d ever done. He knew true recovery was a long, long way off but he thought, through this, maybe he could at least have hope.
EPILOGUE
Chase returned to work, two weeks earlier than anyone - other than House and Cuddy - expected. He felt apprehensive as he walked into the Conference room, even with House just a few steps behind him. A small part of him was tempted to turn and run, because he wasn't sure he was ready for this, but he made himself step through the door.
And into Cameron's bear hug. Chase found himself squeezing her back and feeling the tension that had been coiled up inside him, slipping away. When they pulled back and he saw her happy smile, he felt glad to be here.
"It's good to have you back!" Cameron enthused, giving him another quick hug. "You are back, right? This isn't just a visit or something."
"I'm back," Chase assured her.
Foreman was there next, offering his hand. "You look good, man," he stated.
Chase nodded, as he shook his hand. He knew he was still pale and too thin, but he also knew he looked a lot better than when he'd left. "I'm getting there," he said softly. "So how’ve things been? You guys miss me?" He didn't expect a serious reply; he just wanted to break the ice so to speak.
"It hasn't been the same without you, Chase," Cameron said with quiet sincerity.
"I know the feeling," he replied, and then he had to blink hard against the sudden sting of tears. It felt so damn good to be back.
House seemed to sense that Chase was getting emotional. He limped over to the table and slapped down a file. "Time to go to work, kiddies. New case. 33 year old female suffering from headaches and amnesia."
Chase took a seat at the table, settling himself in, eyes focused on the white board as House wrote down the symptoms they knew. He felt a bit edgy, but during the next 30 minutes as he offered thoughts and ideas, he felt like he finally had come home.
~*~
At the end of the day, House called Chase into his office. He felt it had been a good day all around. Chase looked happy if a bit tired, and he had done well, finding his focus and slipping back into the familiarity of work. But House still felt compelled to ask him, "So how are you doing?"
"Better," Chase replied, offering up a bright smile.
"It's good to have you back," House said, and he meant it. But he couldn't help adding, "You do realize that I'm not going to go easy on you now that you are back?"
Chase's grin got bigger. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he replied. "So are we done?"
House was surprised. "What, you have somewhere you gotta be?"
"Actually, yeah," Chase countered. "Cameron and Foreman have invited me to the Pub to play pool." A sly grin curved his mouth. "Foreman's offered to teach me how to play."
"Judging by the wicked gleam in your eyes, I'm guessing you're something of a pool shark," House countered, and he found himself intrigued by this little tidbit about the Aussie.
Chase merely shrugged and made an effort to look innocent. "It's not my fault if Foreman is still making assumptions about Aussies."
House laughed then pushed up from his chair. "Mind if I join you then? We could play teams. Us against them."
"I'd like that," Chase allowed, then he headed for the door only to turn back to say, "Thanks...for everything." He looked a bit embarrassed, but he held House's gaze.
"You don't have to thank me," House replied. "Just keep in mind that I pretty much own your ass now." He kept his tone light and teasing, but at the same time he let Chase see in his eyes that a part of him was serious. They were bonded in a way went beyond mentor and student, or even the father and son thing they sort of had going on. House wasn't sure he'd call them friends, but it was okay that what they were wasn't exactly definable. It was what it was.
Chase laughed softly. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he allowed.
House nodded, then limped past him out the door. As they made their way towards the elevator they chatted about the latest episode of General Hospital and House decided that life wasn't so bad after all.