Father Figure (7/8)
Title: Father Figure, Pt. 7
Authors: clarkangel and moondustwolf
Beta: Many thanks to janes_membrane for beta and editing!
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for rape and language
Summary: House sends Chase off to a therapist. It does not go well. (Yes, we are going to wrap this up in just one more chpater, I swear)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
Getting help for Chase meant putting him on suicide watch in a private room at the hospital for starters then putting him on stronger medication to the point where Chase was basically drugged to the gills and listless. It wasn’t living by any means but it was keeping him alive until House and Cuddy came up with a plan.
The plan was almost too simple, yet it terrified House. They were sending Chase away to a private clinic run by an old friend of Cuddy’s; a man called Daniel Kelly, who hadn’t taken on a patient in five years. But at Cuddy’s request he was willing to meet with her and House to discuss Chase. They’d brought Chase’s medical file. They also told Daniel all the facts about Chase’s life from the past up to the present. The account they gave included Chase’s misfortune of growing up in a broken home with broken parents, the difficulties he had experienced since coming to PPTH and last but not the least, the sexual assaults he suffered through., at which point Daniel Kelly agreed to take Chase on as his one and only patient. He believed he could get through to Chase but warned them it wouldn’t be easy. He also told House that he would need him to be supportive and to actually be there for Chase throughout the whole process.
House had agreed without hesitation. That was the easy part. The hard part was telling Chase.
“You’re sending me away?” Chase whispered as he stared at House in disbelief. He clenched his fingers on the blanket draped over his lap and tried to make sense of what House was telling him.
“We’re sending you to a private clinic about two hours from here,” House replied. “It’s run by a friend of Cuddy’s. She trusts him and he believes he can help you get better.”
Chase shook his head at that. “I’m fucked up, not sick.”
House found himself laughing at that. “I’d say you’re a little of both.” He drew a chair over to Chase’s bedside and sat down. “We’ll get you through this, Chase. It won’t be easy but you’re tougher than you know. Before you know it you’ll be back here doing your job while I torment the hell out of you. Doesn’t get any better than that, does it?”
“How long will I be gone?” Chase countered.
“Three months.” House watched Chase wince at the news. “It’ll go by fast.”
Chase closed his eyes tight and dropped his head back against the pillow as he whispered, “For you.”
House reached out to tap him on the arm, waiting for the sea-blue eyes to focus on him. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. Dr. Kelly wants me to come up every week. I’m not walking away from you and we’re not sending you away from us. We’re helping you to help yourself. Get it?”
“Sure.” Chase mustered a slight smile but he didn’t sound convinced. “When do I leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.” House rose to his feet, feeling bones crack and muscles protest. “So get a good night’s sleep.”
Chase nodded, shifting about till he was curled on his side. “Do Foreman and Cameron know what happened?” He had refused to see them which had been awkward all the way around.
House sighed. “Yeah, they know. They’re rooting for you.”
“Right.” Chase almost laughed at that. “I suppose maybe Cameron is. But I’m sure Foreman is thinking ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’.”
“Don’t start, Chase!” House admonished him. “Don’t go there and start thinking that way. People care about you. Hell, I care about you. That says a lot about what kind of person you are. I don’t care about just anybody.”
Chase burrowed his head into the pillow, not looking at House as he replied, “You care about patients which I’ve now become.”
House didn’t argue the point, only because he knew Chase wasn’t going to listen. Instead he watched him for a long moment, admiring how beautiful Chase was, even when broken; then he limped his way out the door. It was going to be a long night.
~ * ~
Chase hated the clinic on sight. It was trying too hard to look like anything but what it really was; a place filled with fucked up, broken, people. And he was now one of them. The pretty lawns and gardens and the building that looked like a huge Tudor home gave off the vibe of being something of a resort. It looked like a place that welcomed people to come and relax and enjoy themselves. But the illusion was easily shattered the moment Chase crossed over the threshold.
The nurses were easy to spot, in spite of being dressed in what was supposed to look like casual clothing. But they all wore some combination of tan, blue and maroon. There was a front desk area with a smiling blonde woman who greeted him warmly despite the fact that House didn’t give his name. She had been expecting Chase.
“Mr. Kelly is on his way,” she told them. “Why don’t you step into the solarium?” She pointed to the side room made of thick and no doubt unbreakable glass. Dozens of plants and flowers filled the room and were also tastefully hung around a small fountain shaped like a dolphin.
Chase was tempted to turn and run. He might have tried if House didn’t have a tight hold on his arm, as if knowing what he was thinking. So he went into the solarium to wait for Dr. Kelly. He thought about how pretentious it was of the good doctor to drop his title and how the pretense wasn’t necessary since it didn’t really change who he was.
House was looking around; hovering close to Chase after he’d released his arm. “Seems like a nice place,” he commented, his voice sounding a bit strained.
“Sure,” Chase replied, because it would take too much effort to be honest.
“Dr. Chase! Dr. House, welcome!” came a voice in greeting.
Chase turned to see a man, who looked to be in his early fifties, approaching. He had silver-gray hair, hazel eyes and a warm smile curving his narrow mouth. Chase wanted to walk away from him but the man was already in front of him, offering his hand. After a moment, Chase took it.
Daniel Kelly looked pleased. “It’s good to meet you, Dr. Chase. Or may I call you Robert?”
“You can call me whatever you like. I’m nothing but a patient here.” Chase realized his tone was too sharp for politeness but he didn’t care.
“You can call me DK,” Daniel replied. “Unless that makes you uncomfortable.” He released Chase’s hand then turned to House. “How was the ride up?” he asked, not offering his hand, as if aware House wouldn’t be willing to shake it.
House made a face. “Uneventful,” he replied. “So do we get the grand tour?” he prompted.
Daniel nodded. “Of course. Come this way. I’ll take you through the facility then on to your room, Robert.”
“Fine.” Chase didn’t care where they went. He simply followed House and Dr. Kelly, because in his head that’s who the man was. His doctor, not his buddy, DK. The tour took about half an hour, with Dr. Kelly greeting patients and staff alike with a rather irritating charm. He was obviously proud of his clinic but Chase didn’t give a damn. He just wanted to go home. But he pretended to be impressed with the game room and the dining hall. There was a chapel and outside there were tennis courts, basket ball hoops and an in the ground pool that was heavily fenced off.
“We also have jogging and bicycle paths,” Dr. Kelly informed them.
Chase simply nodded and then said, “I’m tired, can I go to my room now?”
Dr. Kelly’s smile faded and he peered at Chase with concern. “Of course, come this way,” he said, leading them towards the elevator. There were stairs to their left but they used the elevator, no doubt in deference to House.
“Take a rest, Robert,” Dr. Kelly said. “Then I’d like to do a physical on you before dinner. I like to do my own charts on residents.”
“Whatever you want,” Chase replied because it wasn’t as if he could argue the point. He no longer had any kind of control over his life now that he was here. Not that he’d ever had all that much control anyway. But now he felt trapped and scared and he was doing his damndest not to show it. He could feel House watching him though, those sharp blue eyes piercing through his facade like a bullet slicing through fragile flesh. Chase had never felt so vulnerable in his life.
The elevator doors slid open on the third floor and Dr. Kelly stepped out, guiding them to the left and down a long corridor. They made another left at the end of the hallway and Chase was led over to the only door on the right. It was open and he stepped inside to be greeted by a surprisingly large room done in medium blue and tans. He saw that his luggage had already been deposited.
Dr. Kelly was watching him again. “I hope you like your room,” he said.
“It’s fine.” What did the room matter? Chase thought. It wasn’t home. It was just a prettily decorated prison cell. “I’d like to lie down for a bit,” he stated firmly.
“Of course.” Dr. Kelly was already stepping out of the room. “I’ll send someone to wake you in a few hours.”
Chase nodded the moved to sit on the end of the bed. He felt bone weary yet he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He rubbed at his eyes anyway because they felt hot and gritty, then he jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. Chase looked up to find House eyeing him with concern.
House stepped back as if giving them both more personal space and then he asked, “You going to be all right?”
“Fine.” Chase realized he was saying that a lot. But what else was there to say? He could scream he wasn’t all right, that he wanted to leave this place, but no one was going to listen or let him go.
“I’ll be back to visit in a few days,” House stated. He looked reluctant to leave.
Chase shrugged. “Whatever.” He then kicked off his shoes and crawled up on the bed till he reached the pillows. Laying down, Chase curled up on his side, closed his eyes, and willed House to leave him alone. He had counted sixty-eight seconds before House’s uneven footfalls faded away. Chase opened his eyes and stared at the wall for the next three hours until a nurse came to get him for his exam.
~ * ~
For the next three days Chase did what he could to cooperate with Dr. Kelly and his rules. He ate his meals on time although he tended to dump over half of what was on his plate. He took his medications as prescribed. He went for walks and sat in the sun reading. But today was to be his first session with the good doctor, who had told him he wanted to give Chase a few days to adjust to his surroundings before they talked. Officially talked, that is. Dr. Kelly had made it a point to visit Chase several times a day, being careful to keep the conversation light and topical. Chase had mostly listened to him ramble on about the weather or make comments about the book he was reading at the time. And a couple of times he brought Chase candy bars, pushing him to eat more. Chase would nibble at them until Dr. Kelly left or was called away. Then he’d toss them in one of the trash cans cleverly concealed in the shrubbery along every pathway.
Chase didn’t want to talk today. He hadn’t slept at all last night, not that the other two nights were much better. He hadn’t been able to keep breakfast down either. After choking down a few bites of cereal, he had made a mad dash to the bathroom to puke his guts out, after which he had returned to his room to brush his teeth twice. But now he was outside Dr. Kelly’s office door, wanting nothing more than to turn and run. However there was no place he could hide. So he knocked on the door and it opened instantly.
Chase responded to the pleasantries Dr. Kelly offered, hoping that he said the right thing since he felt so distracted. He sat down where he was told and then came to a decision. He would answer any questions asked just to get the session over with. Then he would hole up in his room until meal time. He could handle an hour of deflecting stupid questions with stupid answers.
“Can I be very blunt, Robert?” Dr. Kelly asked, as he settled himself in the chair across from Chase.
“Sure,” Chase drawled. Anything to get this over with as fast as possible.
Dr. Kelly looked pleased. “I want to start by talking about Father Morrison.”
Chase felt himself pale at hearing the name. At what it meant. That Dr. Kelly knew. “House told you?” It was an accusation.
“Yes, he did. But don’t be angry with him,” Dr. Kelly said. “I asked him to tell me about any and all issues you might have. We have to get everything out into the open, Robert; otherwise you’ll never get a chance to heal.”
“What do you want to know then?” Chase shot back, forcing down the anger that was threatening to choke him.
Dr. Kelly looked pleased. “Why didn’t you tell anyone that Father Morrigan raped you?”
Chase shrugged. “There was no one to tell.”
“You don’t seem angry about it,” Dr. Kelly prompted.
“It happened a long time ago.” Chase stared at his hands, fingers clenched into fists. He didn’t want to remember but the image of Father Morrigan looming over him popped into his head and made him flinch. He could still feel the priest’s hands moving over him, holding him down, bruising his skin.
Dr. Kelly eyed Chase speculatively. “Did he ever mention why he did it? Why he raped you?”
Chase closed his eyes and whispered, “Because I had sinned.”
“What sin?” Dr. Kelly prompted.
“I don’t remember.” Chase did remember but it was none of Kelly’s damn business.
The good doctor seemed to accept his answer for now. “Did he ever say anything to you about your appearance?”
Chase opened his eyes at that and looked at Dr. Kelly. He knew what the man was asking him. “You mean things like me looking like and angel and being beautiful and stuff?”
“Yes.”
“He said those things,” Chase allowed. “A lot of people have said those things to me.”
Dr. Kelly nodded. “Do you think you’re beautiful?” he prompted.
Chase laughed because it was such a stupid question. “Does it matter what I think?”
“It does,” Dr. Kelly replied. “I want you to see yourself the way other people view you.”
“You mean like House seeing me as an idiot and Foreman thinking I’m nothing but a spoiled, lazy brat?” Chase countered however there was no anger in his voice. He was merely stating the facts.
Dr. Kelly was frowning at him. “I meant the way people view you physically and how they react to your appearance. People respond to beautiful people in a different way than they do to an average looking person. Just as they tend to respond negatively towards unattractive people.” He leaned forward in his chair, as if about to impart some deeply profound bit of wisdom. “People are drawn to beautiful people, Robert. They want to touch them in some way. To own them. Possess them.”
“Fuck them?” Chase interjected, now angry. He got up and paced towards the window. “I did a psych rotation in med school,” he stated. “I’ve heard this bullshit before. You want me to believe that it wasn’t my fault that Father Morrigan and Coglan raped me. They did it because it because I’m beautiful and they wanted to be a part of that beauty.” It was text book prose and Chase recited it as such, letting his disdain show along with his anger. “If this is all you have to offer as therapy, then we’re done here!” He was striding towards the door when Dr. Kelly intercepted him.
“Robert, wait!” he beseeched although it sounded more like an order. When Chase stopped, Dr. Kelly locked eyes with him. “I shouldn’t have push you today,” he allowed. “It was too much too soon. Truthfully, I should have rescheduled you. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Being exhausted makes it difficult for you to focus.” That said he pulled a capped syringe from his suit jacket pocket. “I have something here that will relax you and help you sleep. Just this morning I wrote it into your chart for you to get injections nightly. Once you’ve caught up on your rest, we’ll be able to meet again and make some positive progress.” He uncapped the syringe as he spoke and reached for Chase’s arm.
Chase pulled away, back-pedaling towards Dr. Kelly’s oak desk. “I don’t want that!” he snapped. “You’re not drugging me!”
Dr. Kelly plastered on a fake smile and softened his tone as if he were trying to soothe a frightened animal. One hand held out in front of him, placating, he carefully approached Chase. “It’s for the best,” he stated.
“Best for you!” Chase snarled before he grabbed the heavy marble paper weight off of Dr. Kelly’s desk and hurled it into the wall, watching the man flinch as it whizzed by him. Then he was moving for the door but it opened before he reached it and two aids were there. Male aids, reaching for him. He tried to move away from them but they were used to manhandling difficult patients and they had him pinned on the floor before he could blink. He felt the sleeve of his t-shirt being pushed up, then the sharp sting of the needle piercing his skin. Then everything faded into grey and he embraced oblivion.
Authors: clarkangel and moondustwolf
Beta: Many thanks to janes_membrane for beta and editing!
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for rape and language
Summary: House sends Chase off to a therapist. It does not go well. (Yes, we are going to wrap this up in just one more chpater, I swear)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
Getting help for Chase meant putting him on suicide watch in a private room at the hospital for starters then putting him on stronger medication to the point where Chase was basically drugged to the gills and listless. It wasn’t living by any means but it was keeping him alive until House and Cuddy came up with a plan.
The plan was almost too simple, yet it terrified House. They were sending Chase away to a private clinic run by an old friend of Cuddy’s; a man called Daniel Kelly, who hadn’t taken on a patient in five years. But at Cuddy’s request he was willing to meet with her and House to discuss Chase. They’d brought Chase’s medical file. They also told Daniel all the facts about Chase’s life from the past up to the present. The account they gave included Chase’s misfortune of growing up in a broken home with broken parents, the difficulties he had experienced since coming to PPTH and last but not the least, the sexual assaults he suffered through., at which point Daniel Kelly agreed to take Chase on as his one and only patient. He believed he could get through to Chase but warned them it wouldn’t be easy. He also told House that he would need him to be supportive and to actually be there for Chase throughout the whole process.
House had agreed without hesitation. That was the easy part. The hard part was telling Chase.
“You’re sending me away?” Chase whispered as he stared at House in disbelief. He clenched his fingers on the blanket draped over his lap and tried to make sense of what House was telling him.
“We’re sending you to a private clinic about two hours from here,” House replied. “It’s run by a friend of Cuddy’s. She trusts him and he believes he can help you get better.”
Chase shook his head at that. “I’m fucked up, not sick.”
House found himself laughing at that. “I’d say you’re a little of both.” He drew a chair over to Chase’s bedside and sat down. “We’ll get you through this, Chase. It won’t be easy but you’re tougher than you know. Before you know it you’ll be back here doing your job while I torment the hell out of you. Doesn’t get any better than that, does it?”
“How long will I be gone?” Chase countered.
“Three months.” House watched Chase wince at the news. “It’ll go by fast.”
Chase closed his eyes tight and dropped his head back against the pillow as he whispered, “For you.”
House reached out to tap him on the arm, waiting for the sea-blue eyes to focus on him. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. Dr. Kelly wants me to come up every week. I’m not walking away from you and we’re not sending you away from us. We’re helping you to help yourself. Get it?”
“Sure.” Chase mustered a slight smile but he didn’t sound convinced. “When do I leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.” House rose to his feet, feeling bones crack and muscles protest. “So get a good night’s sleep.”
Chase nodded, shifting about till he was curled on his side. “Do Foreman and Cameron know what happened?” He had refused to see them which had been awkward all the way around.
House sighed. “Yeah, they know. They’re rooting for you.”
“Right.” Chase almost laughed at that. “I suppose maybe Cameron is. But I’m sure Foreman is thinking ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’.”
“Don’t start, Chase!” House admonished him. “Don’t go there and start thinking that way. People care about you. Hell, I care about you. That says a lot about what kind of person you are. I don’t care about just anybody.”
Chase burrowed his head into the pillow, not looking at House as he replied, “You care about patients which I’ve now become.”
House didn’t argue the point, only because he knew Chase wasn’t going to listen. Instead he watched him for a long moment, admiring how beautiful Chase was, even when broken; then he limped his way out the door. It was going to be a long night.
~ * ~
Chase hated the clinic on sight. It was trying too hard to look like anything but what it really was; a place filled with fucked up, broken, people. And he was now one of them. The pretty lawns and gardens and the building that looked like a huge Tudor home gave off the vibe of being something of a resort. It looked like a place that welcomed people to come and relax and enjoy themselves. But the illusion was easily shattered the moment Chase crossed over the threshold.
The nurses were easy to spot, in spite of being dressed in what was supposed to look like casual clothing. But they all wore some combination of tan, blue and maroon. There was a front desk area with a smiling blonde woman who greeted him warmly despite the fact that House didn’t give his name. She had been expecting Chase.
“Mr. Kelly is on his way,” she told them. “Why don’t you step into the solarium?” She pointed to the side room made of thick and no doubt unbreakable glass. Dozens of plants and flowers filled the room and were also tastefully hung around a small fountain shaped like a dolphin.
Chase was tempted to turn and run. He might have tried if House didn’t have a tight hold on his arm, as if knowing what he was thinking. So he went into the solarium to wait for Dr. Kelly. He thought about how pretentious it was of the good doctor to drop his title and how the pretense wasn’t necessary since it didn’t really change who he was.
House was looking around; hovering close to Chase after he’d released his arm. “Seems like a nice place,” he commented, his voice sounding a bit strained.
“Sure,” Chase replied, because it would take too much effort to be honest.
“Dr. Chase! Dr. House, welcome!” came a voice in greeting.
Chase turned to see a man, who looked to be in his early fifties, approaching. He had silver-gray hair, hazel eyes and a warm smile curving his narrow mouth. Chase wanted to walk away from him but the man was already in front of him, offering his hand. After a moment, Chase took it.
Daniel Kelly looked pleased. “It’s good to meet you, Dr. Chase. Or may I call you Robert?”
“You can call me whatever you like. I’m nothing but a patient here.” Chase realized his tone was too sharp for politeness but he didn’t care.
“You can call me DK,” Daniel replied. “Unless that makes you uncomfortable.” He released Chase’s hand then turned to House. “How was the ride up?” he asked, not offering his hand, as if aware House wouldn’t be willing to shake it.
House made a face. “Uneventful,” he replied. “So do we get the grand tour?” he prompted.
Daniel nodded. “Of course. Come this way. I’ll take you through the facility then on to your room, Robert.”
“Fine.” Chase didn’t care where they went. He simply followed House and Dr. Kelly, because in his head that’s who the man was. His doctor, not his buddy, DK. The tour took about half an hour, with Dr. Kelly greeting patients and staff alike with a rather irritating charm. He was obviously proud of his clinic but Chase didn’t give a damn. He just wanted to go home. But he pretended to be impressed with the game room and the dining hall. There was a chapel and outside there were tennis courts, basket ball hoops and an in the ground pool that was heavily fenced off.
“We also have jogging and bicycle paths,” Dr. Kelly informed them.
Chase simply nodded and then said, “I’m tired, can I go to my room now?”
Dr. Kelly’s smile faded and he peered at Chase with concern. “Of course, come this way,” he said, leading them towards the elevator. There were stairs to their left but they used the elevator, no doubt in deference to House.
“Take a rest, Robert,” Dr. Kelly said. “Then I’d like to do a physical on you before dinner. I like to do my own charts on residents.”
“Whatever you want,” Chase replied because it wasn’t as if he could argue the point. He no longer had any kind of control over his life now that he was here. Not that he’d ever had all that much control anyway. But now he felt trapped and scared and he was doing his damndest not to show it. He could feel House watching him though, those sharp blue eyes piercing through his facade like a bullet slicing through fragile flesh. Chase had never felt so vulnerable in his life.
The elevator doors slid open on the third floor and Dr. Kelly stepped out, guiding them to the left and down a long corridor. They made another left at the end of the hallway and Chase was led over to the only door on the right. It was open and he stepped inside to be greeted by a surprisingly large room done in medium blue and tans. He saw that his luggage had already been deposited.
Dr. Kelly was watching him again. “I hope you like your room,” he said.
“It’s fine.” What did the room matter? Chase thought. It wasn’t home. It was just a prettily decorated prison cell. “I’d like to lie down for a bit,” he stated firmly.
“Of course.” Dr. Kelly was already stepping out of the room. “I’ll send someone to wake you in a few hours.”
Chase nodded the moved to sit on the end of the bed. He felt bone weary yet he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He rubbed at his eyes anyway because they felt hot and gritty, then he jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. Chase looked up to find House eyeing him with concern.
House stepped back as if giving them both more personal space and then he asked, “You going to be all right?”
“Fine.” Chase realized he was saying that a lot. But what else was there to say? He could scream he wasn’t all right, that he wanted to leave this place, but no one was going to listen or let him go.
“I’ll be back to visit in a few days,” House stated. He looked reluctant to leave.
Chase shrugged. “Whatever.” He then kicked off his shoes and crawled up on the bed till he reached the pillows. Laying down, Chase curled up on his side, closed his eyes, and willed House to leave him alone. He had counted sixty-eight seconds before House’s uneven footfalls faded away. Chase opened his eyes and stared at the wall for the next three hours until a nurse came to get him for his exam.
~ * ~
For the next three days Chase did what he could to cooperate with Dr. Kelly and his rules. He ate his meals on time although he tended to dump over half of what was on his plate. He took his medications as prescribed. He went for walks and sat in the sun reading. But today was to be his first session with the good doctor, who had told him he wanted to give Chase a few days to adjust to his surroundings before they talked. Officially talked, that is. Dr. Kelly had made it a point to visit Chase several times a day, being careful to keep the conversation light and topical. Chase had mostly listened to him ramble on about the weather or make comments about the book he was reading at the time. And a couple of times he brought Chase candy bars, pushing him to eat more. Chase would nibble at them until Dr. Kelly left or was called away. Then he’d toss them in one of the trash cans cleverly concealed in the shrubbery along every pathway.
Chase didn’t want to talk today. He hadn’t slept at all last night, not that the other two nights were much better. He hadn’t been able to keep breakfast down either. After choking down a few bites of cereal, he had made a mad dash to the bathroom to puke his guts out, after which he had returned to his room to brush his teeth twice. But now he was outside Dr. Kelly’s office door, wanting nothing more than to turn and run. However there was no place he could hide. So he knocked on the door and it opened instantly.
Chase responded to the pleasantries Dr. Kelly offered, hoping that he said the right thing since he felt so distracted. He sat down where he was told and then came to a decision. He would answer any questions asked just to get the session over with. Then he would hole up in his room until meal time. He could handle an hour of deflecting stupid questions with stupid answers.
“Can I be very blunt, Robert?” Dr. Kelly asked, as he settled himself in the chair across from Chase.
“Sure,” Chase drawled. Anything to get this over with as fast as possible.
Dr. Kelly looked pleased. “I want to start by talking about Father Morrison.”
Chase felt himself pale at hearing the name. At what it meant. That Dr. Kelly knew. “House told you?” It was an accusation.
“Yes, he did. But don’t be angry with him,” Dr. Kelly said. “I asked him to tell me about any and all issues you might have. We have to get everything out into the open, Robert; otherwise you’ll never get a chance to heal.”
“What do you want to know then?” Chase shot back, forcing down the anger that was threatening to choke him.
Dr. Kelly looked pleased. “Why didn’t you tell anyone that Father Morrigan raped you?”
Chase shrugged. “There was no one to tell.”
“You don’t seem angry about it,” Dr. Kelly prompted.
“It happened a long time ago.” Chase stared at his hands, fingers clenched into fists. He didn’t want to remember but the image of Father Morrigan looming over him popped into his head and made him flinch. He could still feel the priest’s hands moving over him, holding him down, bruising his skin.
Dr. Kelly eyed Chase speculatively. “Did he ever mention why he did it? Why he raped you?”
Chase closed his eyes and whispered, “Because I had sinned.”
“What sin?” Dr. Kelly prompted.
“I don’t remember.” Chase did remember but it was none of Kelly’s damn business.
The good doctor seemed to accept his answer for now. “Did he ever say anything to you about your appearance?”
Chase opened his eyes at that and looked at Dr. Kelly. He knew what the man was asking him. “You mean things like me looking like and angel and being beautiful and stuff?”
“Yes.”
“He said those things,” Chase allowed. “A lot of people have said those things to me.”
Dr. Kelly nodded. “Do you think you’re beautiful?” he prompted.
Chase laughed because it was such a stupid question. “Does it matter what I think?”
“It does,” Dr. Kelly replied. “I want you to see yourself the way other people view you.”
“You mean like House seeing me as an idiot and Foreman thinking I’m nothing but a spoiled, lazy brat?” Chase countered however there was no anger in his voice. He was merely stating the facts.
Dr. Kelly was frowning at him. “I meant the way people view you physically and how they react to your appearance. People respond to beautiful people in a different way than they do to an average looking person. Just as they tend to respond negatively towards unattractive people.” He leaned forward in his chair, as if about to impart some deeply profound bit of wisdom. “People are drawn to beautiful people, Robert. They want to touch them in some way. To own them. Possess them.”
“Fuck them?” Chase interjected, now angry. He got up and paced towards the window. “I did a psych rotation in med school,” he stated. “I’ve heard this bullshit before. You want me to believe that it wasn’t my fault that Father Morrigan and Coglan raped me. They did it because it because I’m beautiful and they wanted to be a part of that beauty.” It was text book prose and Chase recited it as such, letting his disdain show along with his anger. “If this is all you have to offer as therapy, then we’re done here!” He was striding towards the door when Dr. Kelly intercepted him.
“Robert, wait!” he beseeched although it sounded more like an order. When Chase stopped, Dr. Kelly locked eyes with him. “I shouldn’t have push you today,” he allowed. “It was too much too soon. Truthfully, I should have rescheduled you. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Being exhausted makes it difficult for you to focus.” That said he pulled a capped syringe from his suit jacket pocket. “I have something here that will relax you and help you sleep. Just this morning I wrote it into your chart for you to get injections nightly. Once you’ve caught up on your rest, we’ll be able to meet again and make some positive progress.” He uncapped the syringe as he spoke and reached for Chase’s arm.
Chase pulled away, back-pedaling towards Dr. Kelly’s oak desk. “I don’t want that!” he snapped. “You’re not drugging me!”
Dr. Kelly plastered on a fake smile and softened his tone as if he were trying to soothe a frightened animal. One hand held out in front of him, placating, he carefully approached Chase. “It’s for the best,” he stated.
“Best for you!” Chase snarled before he grabbed the heavy marble paper weight off of Dr. Kelly’s desk and hurled it into the wall, watching the man flinch as it whizzed by him. Then he was moving for the door but it opened before he reached it and two aids were there. Male aids, reaching for him. He tried to move away from them but they were used to manhandling difficult patients and they had him pinned on the floor before he could blink. He felt the sleeve of his t-shirt being pushed up, then the sharp sting of the needle piercing his skin. Then everything faded into grey and he embraced oblivion.