I have pretty much became bored with Live Journal. I am not going to post anything new on it for quite some time. I have a Xanga account and a Myspace account, both of which has blogs on it too.  Please check these for new updates if you really would like to continue reading my comedy articles.  Both of these accounts are hyperlinked, so go check ( Read more... )

We’ve all been there. It’s late and you’re having a good time. Maybe you’re hitting the bottle because a crime lord has just brutally murdered your partner, days before his retirement. Or maybe you’re drinking until the amorphous fatty in the corner turns into a supermodel. In any event, you’re not ready to stop drinking, but your wallet definitely ( Read more... )

1. Long walks to the pornography store.

2. Wear a football jersey, particularly of a not-so-famous player (i.e. NOT Chad Johnson, Tom Vagina...errr, Brady, Peyton Manning). I saw a girl in my classes at Ohio Northern with a Ray Lewis jersey and I literally started crying. Especially when she didn't even know who he was, she just liked the colors.
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***Disclaimer: The following “An Idiot’s Guide to Woman Management” is a sarcastic anecdote intended solely for enjoyment purposes and is not directed at anyone. The author of this essay, while having slanderous intentions, must remind you that by abiding by the rules in the following article, men may be subject to any of the following: injury to ( Read more... )

Lately I've been forced to listen to an unhealthy, excess amount of bitching from females complaining that men "don't know what they want".  Because, of course if these girls are rejected it must mean that the guy didn't know what he wanted, and most certainly NOT that the girl didn't get off her ass and make herself worth hanging onto.  No, ( Read more... )

Well, Valentine's Day came and went faster than the new Weird Al single. So the question then becomes, "How was your V-Day?" Well, since you're not having sex at this very moment, I'm going to take a fairly generous logical leap and assume that it wasn't everything it could have been. But fear not, friend. Armed with the knowledge I'm about to drop ( Read more... )

Valentine's Day is here, and for those of you who will be spending this most hateful of holidays drinking Bleach Schnapps and jumping off fire escapes, I offer you a guide to making the opposite sex a touch more approachable. After all, nobody knows what makes women tick, except for me apparently.

Chapter 1: The Look
A lot of men think they need ( Read more... )

The Valentine’s Day mascot is a son of a bitch. In ancient Greece ( Read more... )

With Valentines Day right around the corner, I thought I would make a special heart felt entry for Valentines day, without further adue here we go ( Read more... )

Every year, Super Bowl parties bring together awkward groupings of people who are then forced to sit and watch a football game. Inevitably this drives me crazy. Primarily because I don’t understand why I should suddenly be forced to watch football games with people who haven’t bothered to watch a game all season ( Read more... )