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The Man who ruled the Universe
Perhaps the weirdest shit i've ever wrote
The Man who ruled the UniverseOver the years it has often been speculated as to where God placed his beloved Garden, the one where he rolled the dough of flesh from dust and using a cookie cutter, made man in all his simplicity. These cookie cutter men, went forth to build cookie cutter towns which grew ( Read more... ) -
Your Dreams are Dead
It's funny, writing about the world I experience comes so easily to me, but writing about myself always draws blanks ( Read more... ) -
Huff
Pop! Fizzle-whiz ( Read more... ) -
Pardon My Dust
Doooot… doooot… dooooWhat is this hellish sound, this satanic mechanized bird call ( Read more... ) -
The Man who spoke in Acronyms
At the end of a rather bleak row of dollar discount clothing bins, past the “previously enjoyed” fifty cent porno section, at the crossroads of kitchen ware and sporting goods, lay the answers to the secrets of the universe, woven deep within the silky tapestry of a Kentucky waterfall. These sacred follicles belong to a very special man: Roy (from ( Read more... ) -
The Nightmare Before Existence
Creation began as a mutation ( Read more... ) -
Where the sun don’t shine
When I was born I came out ass first. My father, a television evangelist, was not amused. Years later, on her death bed, my mother told me that my god fearing conservative father suffered and epiphany that day, as he tried to reason where an ass faced child could fit into the kingdom of the lord. She told me, that the moment my placenta stained ( Read more... ) -
The Massacre in my Pocket
I awoke on a spool ( Read more... ) -
This one if for Luc
I am the world's greatest barbecue pit dancer, and have been since the great poulty civil war. I wear a crown of kebabs, a skirt of spare ribs and two polish sausages dangle elegantly from each of my ears ( Read more... ) -
Dalton McGuinty, you bastard.
Is anyone else absolutely furious by Dalton McGuinty's new proposal of building a gas power-plant in the undeveloped land of the cherry beach area?
Power plant is coming, premier tells T.O.
Jan. 31, 2006. 01:00 AM
RICHARD BRENNAN
STAFF REPORTERS
( Premier Dalton McGuinty says Toronto is getting a new gas-fired power plant whether the city likes it or not because otherwise it risks serious electricity shortages. )