Gojyo Sha, Saiyuki.
The latest applicant trudges into the Sorting Room leaving a trail of water. He looks young, around his very early twenties. His long dark red hair is plastered to his face, he has unnatural red eyes and two fine scars running along his left cheek, his clothes are sopping wet, and otherwise he's fairly unremarkable, especially compared to the usual applicants with their sparkly omnipotent powers. Oh, if only he had some of that going on for him. Maybe then he'd be in a better mood and a lot less wet.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
*rubbing his arms, trying to warm up* Yunnan cheese. Because it's damned good.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Never heard of 'em, so why should I want to off either one? This is a trick question, isn't it? Uh, I'm not a murderer.
3. What time is it where you are?
No clue. *squints, looking out a window* Day?
See, I was minding my own business, working on getting completely shitfaced, next thing I know I wake up in the fucking arctic water out there. And here I am. You tell me what time it is. And no goddamn kappa jokes!
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Order of the Phoenix sounds like something a shit monk would make up. No way would I be caught dead harassing those baldies. Fine, I admit it, I've got a weakness for black-haired guys with pretty green eyes. It's brought me nothing but trouble.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Obscenity.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
You can never go wrong with ginger. All the really sexy bastards have red hair. So this Harry is the one with black hair and pretty green eyes, right? is pretty much destined to wind up with some devastatingly gorgeous redhead one way or the other? Yeah, he's a lucky guy. Got good taste.
The hell does mythology have to do with anything? Bunch of bullshit if you ask me. Red hair doesn't always mean you're some bastard demon child, all right? ...Okay, so maybe the red eyes are harder to explain away but fuck, there's not a whole lot I can do about that. Give a guy a break.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You were stupid enough to put a good for nothing priest in charge, right? Instead of taking care of things himself, he tries to pawn the work off on others and they're too smart to fall for his crap, so nothing ever gets done. Fire his lazy ass and get yourself someone halfway competent. Even hiring his pet monkey would be an improvement, I bet.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*being called "useless" (and far worse) is uncomfortably familiar, and for a moment it shows* Maybe I can't prattle off some mile long résumé of "illustrious accomplishments", but I can damn well survive the shit this world throws at me, and that's gotta count for something.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Got a pack of soggy cigarettes, a lighter that probably doesn't work, the clothes on my back, and - well, my jakujou, but I couldn't give that away even if I wanted to. Only answers to me. Do you, uh... need... *groans* An errand boy? There has to be something I can do to get in this place, preferably before I catch pneumonia and ya got a corpse on your hands instead of a student.
If you're an artist in need of someone desperate enough to do those really gay-ass poses no one in their right mind'd agree to, clearly, I'm your man.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. GS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. GS.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. GS.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. GS."
((By the way, for anyone familiar with Saiyuki canon... this is 2-3 years pre-Journey for Gojyo, so he and Sanzo are from the same time. Gojyo was living with Hakkai, and had already met Sanzo and Goku.))
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
*rubbing his arms, trying to warm up* Yunnan cheese. Because it's damned good.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Never heard of 'em, so why should I want to off either one? This is a trick question, isn't it? Uh, I'm not a murderer.
3. What time is it where you are?
No clue. *squints, looking out a window* Day?
See, I was minding my own business, working on getting completely shitfaced, next thing I know I wake up in the fucking arctic water out there. And here I am. You tell me what time it is. And no goddamn kappa jokes!
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Order of the Phoenix sounds like something a shit monk would make up. No way would I be caught dead harassing those baldies. Fine, I admit it, I've got a weakness for black-haired guys with pretty green eyes. It's brought me nothing but trouble.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Obscenity.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
You can never go wrong with ginger. All the really sexy bastards have red hair. So this Harry is the one with black hair and pretty green eyes, right? is pretty much destined to wind up with some devastatingly gorgeous redhead one way or the other? Yeah, he's a lucky guy. Got good taste.
The hell does mythology have to do with anything? Bunch of bullshit if you ask me. Red hair doesn't always mean you're some bastard demon child, all right? ...Okay, so maybe the red eyes are harder to explain away but fuck, there's not a whole lot I can do about that. Give a guy a break.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
You were stupid enough to put a good for nothing priest in charge, right? Instead of taking care of things himself, he tries to pawn the work off on others and they're too smart to fall for his crap, so nothing ever gets done. Fire his lazy ass and get yourself someone halfway competent. Even hiring his pet monkey would be an improvement, I bet.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*being called "useless" (and far worse) is uncomfortably familiar, and for a moment it shows* Maybe I can't prattle off some mile long résumé of "illustrious accomplishments", but I can damn well survive the shit this world throws at me, and that's gotta count for something.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Got a pack of soggy cigarettes, a lighter that probably doesn't work, the clothes on my back, and - well, my jakujou, but I couldn't give that away even if I wanted to. Only answers to me. Do you, uh... need... *groans* An errand boy? There has to be something I can do to get in this place, preferably before I catch pneumonia and ya got a corpse on your hands instead of a student.
If you're an artist in need of someone desperate enough to do those really gay-ass poses no one in their right mind'd agree to, clearly, I'm your man.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. GS
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. GS.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. GS.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. GS."
((By the way, for anyone familiar with Saiyuki canon... this is 2-3 years pre-Journey for Gojyo, so he and Sanzo are from the same time. Gojyo was living with Hakkai, and had already met Sanzo and Goku.))