Pippi Longstocking, from those books/movies/TV-shows and so on.
Enter a nine-year old girl, her vividly orange/red hair in two braids protruding from her head underneath a large black pirate hat with a white skull and two crossed bones. She's wearing a blue and red dress and mismatching socks. On her feet she is wearing a pair of boots twice as long as her feet. Her freckly face is grinning widely. On her shoulder there is a small monkey dressed in a knitted, yellow sweater, and in one hand she's holding a large brown bag. She stops in the middle of the Sorting Hall, drops the bag so that it hits the floor with a clinking thud, puts her hands to her mouth like a megaphone and cries out at the top of her voice:
"HELLO-O-O!"
When the echoes have died away, she turns to the monkey with a grin.
"There's not one at home, Mister Nilsson. We'd better make ourselves comfortable."
She sits down on a chair.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I like all kinds of cheese. One must not be picky when it comes to food, 'cept if it's fish liver oil.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Generally killing is a bad idea. But I wouldn't mind throwing Barney up in a tree.
3. What time is it where you are?
If you know the answer already, why're you asking me for?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them?
If I was a ghost I'd be a very nice one! But still, you know, a pirate ghost, singing very loudly and drinking rum and eat sandwiches with salami and dance. Like this. *She gets up and takes a few giant leaps around, singing "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo-ho-hoo an' a bottle o' rum!" at the top of her voice and clicking the heels of her boots together. When she's done she returns to the chair.* That's what I'd do.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ah, that takes me back... There was a bar in Acapulco once called The Golden Seahorse. It's a catchy name, 's what I think.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
*Pippi pauses and takes this in serious consideration.* Um, maybe he should be with the one he likes the most.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Hah! I once thought I'd be nice and relieve someone I know from all his papers, but he wasn't so happy about it. Apparently it was not polite of me. But really, when your mother is an angel and your father a Cannibal King, and you've travelled all your life on the seas, who can blame you if you don't really know how you oughter handle lots of papers?
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can make funny voices when it's needed. I can lift a horse and build an airplane out of junk. I can almost walk on water, but not quite; I'll be needing some more training first. And all laws of gravity, logic, reason and common sense tend to get slightly blurred around me.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I've got lots of old pirate things on my attic, like maps and pistols and compasses. You never know when you might need 'em! And I've got a whole bag full of gold coins here. Real pirate gold, on my honour! *She rattles the bag.* I think I've got some Chillilug pills in my pocket, too. *Out of her pocket she takes up a few "pills" that look suspiciously like dry peas.*
Or if you are so inclined, I could lie a story together for you. Or I could sing you a pirate song. I know lots of 'em. I'm a pretty good cook too, but I don't like to brag.
I've got a horse, but he's apparently not around... *She shrugs.* I'll find him again. But here's Mister Nilsson, and he doesn't bite, so you could play with him for a bit if you like...
Pippi sat down on a nearby chair, leaned back and placed her feet on the table in front of her. She put her arms back to support her head, and then she began waiting. Mister Nilsson climbed down from her shoulder and curled up comfortably on her lap.
(("I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____E_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____E_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____E_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____E________"))
"HELLO-O-O!"
When the echoes have died away, she turns to the monkey with a grin.
"There's not one at home, Mister Nilsson. We'd better make ourselves comfortable."
She sits down on a chair.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I like all kinds of cheese. One must not be picky when it comes to food, 'cept if it's fish liver oil.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Generally killing is a bad idea. But I wouldn't mind throwing Barney up in a tree.
3. What time is it where you are?
If you know the answer already, why're you asking me for?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them?
If I was a ghost I'd be a very nice one! But still, you know, a pirate ghost, singing very loudly and drinking rum and eat sandwiches with salami and dance. Like this. *She gets up and takes a few giant leaps around, singing "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo-ho-hoo an' a bottle o' rum!" at the top of her voice and clicking the heels of her boots together. When she's done she returns to the chair.* That's what I'd do.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ah, that takes me back... There was a bar in Acapulco once called The Golden Seahorse. It's a catchy name, 's what I think.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
*Pippi pauses and takes this in serious consideration.* Um, maybe he should be with the one he likes the most.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Hah! I once thought I'd be nice and relieve someone I know from all his papers, but he wasn't so happy about it. Apparently it was not polite of me. But really, when your mother is an angel and your father a Cannibal King, and you've travelled all your life on the seas, who can blame you if you don't really know how you oughter handle lots of papers?
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can make funny voices when it's needed. I can lift a horse and build an airplane out of junk. I can almost walk on water, but not quite; I'll be needing some more training first. And all laws of gravity, logic, reason and common sense tend to get slightly blurred around me.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I've got lots of old pirate things on my attic, like maps and pistols and compasses. You never know when you might need 'em! And I've got a whole bag full of gold coins here. Real pirate gold, on my honour! *She rattles the bag.* I think I've got some Chillilug pills in my pocket, too. *Out of her pocket she takes up a few "pills" that look suspiciously like dry peas.*
Or if you are so inclined, I could lie a story together for you. Or I could sing you a pirate song. I know lots of 'em. I'm a pretty good cook too, but I don't like to brag.
I've got a horse, but he's apparently not around... *She shrugs.* I'll find him again. But here's Mister Nilsson, and he doesn't bite, so you could play with him for a bit if you like...
Pippi sat down on a nearby chair, leaned back and placed her feet on the table in front of her. She put her arms back to support her head, and then she began waiting. Mister Nilsson climbed down from her shoulder and curled up comfortably on her lap.
(("I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____E_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____E_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____E_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____E________"))