Cthulhu R'lyeh fhtagn!
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
(Waggles taloned fingers excitedly at whichever kind one of his pointless high priests is currently enjoying)
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
(Waves tentacle feelers at both indiscriminately)
3. What time is it where you are?
(Waves tentacles with a bored look)
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
(Holds up completely barking mad Albus Dumbledore and Sirius Black and then puts them in a box and lets them sort it out)
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
(Snaps fingers, making R'lyeh rise from the nearby waters)