Remus Lupin on Radio WART!
Hello, everyone. This is Professor Remus J. Lupin, broadcasting on WART - or perhaps tonight we should call it WOLF, eh? Or if my friend Sirius were here, we could call it WOOF. Sorry. Anyway, the nice thing about radio is that nobody can see you. In fact, I'm picking my nose right now. It's splendid.
We'll start off with a couple of songs of my own choosing here... Here's the Kinks with Picture Book. And here's the late great Ella Fitzgerald singing the Peggy Lee classic, Fever. Good stuff, eh? You can't get much better than that.
And now, let's get to the requests. The long-suffering Lilly Kane would like to hear Diablo (Lyrics) by Etro Anime. Hmm, never heard of them.
Bernard Black dedicates The O'Reilly Dance (Lyrics) by Tom Smith to none other than our very own eagle of truthiness, Stephen Colbert.
Yuukio Ishida requests Temper of Revenge by an unknown artist. Care to floo in and let us know who that's by?
My old student Luna Lovegood would like to hear Oops (Lyrics) by Echo's Children.
And here's a request from the Lady Door, opener of portals. I don't know who this is by either, but the song is called The Hound of the Shakespearevilles.
Lord Peter Wimsey would like to hear The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (Lyrics) by Blossom Dearie. Excellent taste, Lord Peter! He says, "It's dedicated to everyone here who finds themselves in a pinch, which, if I hear correctly, is practically everyone at the school." Indeed.
Everyone's friend Fillerbunny would like to request Penguins (Lyrics) by Lyle Lovett. He dedicates it to his friends River Tam and Stephen Maturin. Very nice.
Now, another song from my own collection... this is Hey Chicken, by Loose Fur, which I dedicate with great love and affection to Dr. Perry Cox. Kiss kiss!
Sadako, who (as every sane person should) seems to have a fondness for Professor Cthulhu, and dedicates Victim of Victims (by an unknown artist) to him.
Here's a couple of anonymous requests... ooh, anonymous! Kingdom of La Lu Lay (Lyrics) by Outgrabe, and another one from Tom Smith, Callisto (Lyrics). What a dull name, Tom Smith. He should change it to Throatwobbler Mangrove or something.
And here's more songs from the Lupin archives, for two of my favorite people in the world... Nick Drake's Black-Eyed Dog ( Lyrics) for my dear friend Sirius Black, and Wilco's I'm The Man Who Loves You (Lyrics), which is for you, Nymphadora. It's all true, you know.
And as if conjured into being, Aphrodite, the goddess of love, has risen from the sea foam to request a couple of songs... Old Fashioned Morphine (Lyrics) by Jolie Holland, "dedicated to all those who know of what she sings." She also requests I Feel So Smoochie by Kurt Elling, and says, "It's for all the happy couples here at Hogwarts. I know there must be some of you out there ... don't be shy!" Heehee!
Speaking of happy couples, Lilly Kane would like to hear another song by Etro Anime, Purest One (Lyrics). It's dedicated to Logan. Please don't floo in if you're just going to curse at me, Mr. Echolls - I'm just the messenger. Cheers.
A certain Miss Nymphadora Tonks would like to hear Crazy on You (Lyrics) by Heart. She says it's "from Tonks to the DJ." Who could that be? (I'm mad about you too, my dear.)
Here's a cryptic dedication, from S. to K. - it's Jace Everett with Bad Things. Hmm...
Our favorite space-hopping drunkard, Ford Prefect, would like to hear Dr. Worm (Lyrics) by They Might Be Giants, which he dedicates to all the many, many doctors of the school. God bless 'em every one.
I've been searching through my collection for a song about newts to dedicate to my friend Stephen Maturin, but I can't find one - sorry! But here's When the Catfish Are in Bloom by John Fahey, as performed by Peter Case. Catfish are close enough, right? And yes, Professor Maturin, I know they don't bloom.
And now, a song dedicated to "to all the whiny emo idiots in the school," it's Everybody Hurts (Lyrics) by REM. It comes to you from "Professor Shut The Fuck Up About Your Boring And Pathetic Love Lives Already Before I Really Give You Something To Cry About Crowley." You see now why Crowley's my mate? A toast to you, sir.
Bertie Wooster would like to dedicate 47 Ginger Headed Sailors to Jeeves, "because you never got to hear the rest of the song."
Homsar has requested the B-52s' Detour Thru Your Mind (Lyrics), and he dedicates it to someone named Reba. He says, "This is the best raincake recipe of all!" Err... right.
The Doctor has a song he'd like to dedicate to Jack Harkness - It's De-Lovely, as sung by John Barrowman, "so it's more obvious and so you don't feel so ignored."
A very mysterious anonymous listener would like to hear Orgasm Addict by the Buzzcocks. He dedicates it to the DJ, and says, "Some vices should never be treated." Oh, go take a cold shower, "Snuffles" - alone.
And finally, I have a song I would like to dedicate to the whole school - this is one of my favorite songs of all time, Be Not So Fearful (Lyrics) by the 1960's British folkie Bill Fay. I hope you like it.
It's been fun being your DJ here on WART. I've stopped picking my nose, so please feel free to floo in with questions, requests, random comments, and other such things if you so desire. But do keep the abuse to a minimum, won't you? I'm a sensitive werewolf. Send your forthcoming requests to Kate Austen - next up on the rotation is Ford Prefect, followed by Ryuuji Otogi together with my fellow werewolf Oz, and the very lovely Miss Abby Sciuto. Have a nice evening!